***Online Dating Support Thread***

Yeah....so I had my first date last night. I already deactivated my Match account, but I've been communicating offline with homeslice for a few weeks now. He asked me to choose the restaurant and I picked Ihop :duck:
(yeah I see the thread in Off Topic about men not wanting to plan dates, blah, blah, blah)...but he said "I know there are things you don't eat" In his defense it's true :look:
He was tickled that I picked Ihop, actually and we talked about Feng Shui (which is partly why I chose it). I had fun, but there were times where he didn't seem to say much. Sometimes I sit quietly to see if a guy picks up the slack. At times he didn't, but when he did want to talk he was intriguing. At the end of the date I let him drive me to the train station (didn't need him to know where I live). I don't see this developing into more than a friendship, however I am curious enough to go on another date...if he asks. He's picking the venue :lol:


Girl stats: He's a bit shorter than his picture, but still taller than me, and more handsome than I thought. He has an interesting job in criminal justice with benefits of course, lol. I don't want to say what he does just in case another member is being courted by him (hey, it's a small world). I'm comfortable giving him 1 more date before I write him off.
 
crimsonpeach said:
This is exactly how I met my boyfriend. I initiated contact and had several men interested until I met him. The passive route wasn't working at all for me.
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It's how I met mine too. I can't remember what it's called on POF. I don't think it's a wink. He responded.
 
Keshieshimmer said:
Harsh reality, they just aren't interested. Don't you look at guys profiles just to do it?

I never look at who viewed my profile, bc I get disappointed if I guy that I liked viewed but didn't email or reply.
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Pretty much.

I hate when said person emails like "I saw you checked out my profile, you could at least say hi".

Umm, if I'm not interested, why open the door for you to want to start a convo?
 
Man these jokers are getting bold online. I can't believe the amount of profiles I come across where men are flat out saying if we are not having sex don't bother contacting me. Really? so much for hiding the fact you just wanna smash. It's actually pretty funny. I'm weeding folks out left and right here.
 
VelvetRain said:
Man these jokers are getting bold online. I can't believe the amount of profiles I come across where men are flat out saying if we are not having sex don't bother contacting me. Really? so much for hiding the fact you just wanna smash. It's actually pretty funny. I'm weeding folks out left and right here.
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See. Why clog up the relationship sites with that mess. There are other sites for that purpose. Smh
 
He is 50. This is his about me.

like doing thing together as one going out to family get together cook out just about anything is good im easy guy don't to much I don't like doing looking for a lady with no problem because I don't have none
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VelvetRain said:
Man these jokers are getting bold online. I can't believe the amount of profiles I come across where men are flat out saying if we are not having sex don't bother contacting me. Really? so much for hiding the fact you just wanna smash. It's actually pretty funny. I'm weeding folks out left and right here.
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DAMN!!! :lol:

It's a little off putting to read that in someone's profile, but in reality it's good that they're letting women know up front. I'm all for full disclosure so I don't waste my time.
 
LovelyLouboutin said:
See. Why clog up the relationship sites with that mess. There are other sites for that purpose. Smh
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Because it doesn't mean that they don't want a relationship. They just may not want one that isn't going to include sex.

I mean, let's be real. Are there some guys out here who are willing to wait- be it month or until marriage- yes. But they are probably few and far between.
 
MzLady78 said:
DAMN!!! :lol:

It's a little off putting to read that in someone's profile, but in reality it's good that they're letting women know up front. I'm all for full disclosure so I don't waste my time.
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It is off putting. Dude said point blank" I enjoy sex and making love, if you are not interested in sex to stop reading this and keep it moving" so I kept it moving lol. He was nothing to look at in the first place not that I was slight bit interested.
 
VelvetRain said:
It is off putting. Dude said point blank" I enjoy sex and making love, if you are not interested in sex to stop reading this and keep it moving" so I kept it moving lol. He was nothing to look at in the first place not that I was slight bit interested.
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Wow.

Yeah, a little tact goes a long way.
 
So I kind of sort of brought up the what are we talk in a round about way today. I was biting my tongue for days and it was really getting to me. Apparently he was confused too so I'm glad I got it off my chest.

Has anyone been to the Match stir events? I'm going Wednesday and not sure of what to expect.
 
futureapl: You'd benefit from watching this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q92KkMI8d8g start from 3:00

as for Stir events. i followed a friend last year. Was ok. It was at a tapas resturant..it was pretty packed so get there early so you can find a place to sit/stand and not be smothered.One guy chatted me up..he left for Austrailia the next day..he actually sent me an email last week that he would be back mid Aug. I havent responded :lol:

my friend was bored after a while so we left like 45 mins later.

anyway you might have to do the talking cos the dudes at the one stayed by the wall for the most part and epected women to go to them I didnt do any of that but if you're fine with that, go ahead.
 
FelaShrine thanks for the video. I don't want to come across as clingy or desperate with this guy. The thing about me is when things bother me and I keep it bottled up I start treating others differently. I'd rather get it off my chest and deal with the backlash than say nothing.
 
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futureapl I get you but wouldnt that mean you're giving him too much power over you/your feelings..are yall a couple? I havent been following precious posts so sorry if you mentioned everything before.
 
you getting upset that you havent heard from him in a few days. shouldnt matter, that's bf or serious potential status.

you're too busy to even notice ;) and would even forget to bring it up cos you would be too busy to pick his calls too (like Matthew mentions in the vid)

but seriously though why men love bishes is a great book. if you havent read it you should,,required reading imo. but good luck :)
 
FelaShrine said:
@futureapl: You'd benefit from watching this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q92KkMI8d8g start from 3:00

as for Stir events. i followed a friend last year. Was ok. It was at a tapas resturant..it was pretty packed so get there early so you can find a place to sit/stand and not be smothered.One guy chatted me up..he left for Austrailia the next day..he actually sent me an email last week that he would be back mid Aug. I havent responded :lol:

my friend was bored after a while so we left like 45 mins later.

anyway you might have to do the talking cos the dudes at the one stayed by the wall for the most part and epected women to go to them I didnt do any of that but if you're fine with that, go ahead.
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Haha I remember going to one of these...so lame. The guys were total betas lol definitely not my steez. You're better off going to a grown n sexy club or something upscale with a friendly crowd. Something about it being a dating event has the reverse effect on the guys.
 
futureapl said:
FelaShrine no we are not a couple. We've been dating for the past month. How am I giving him too much power?
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Doesn't that answer the question?

It seems kind of soon to have that kind of talk. However, only you would know since you could very well be hitting it off.

as far as giving your power over, I think it means waiting on a man in any form or fashion. If you are wondering what's going on, then you're probably not in the driver's seat.

Can you tell us more details about the talk? What did he say? I'm asking because I'm learning about these things too :yep:
 
keyawarren I basically told him that I was confused. I did not come out right and ask what are we. He said that he was sorry for confusing me, that he had feelings for me and loves spending time with me, but does not want to rush into a relationship as he has a history of doing that in the past. He later asked me what I want in the long-run and I told him. He told me what he wants and promised to always let me know where we stand.

More background: Before we even went on our first date we agreed that we would not play any games, give each other feedback, and say what we're thinking (his idea).

I have a long history of being in fwb type relationships and I wanted to make sure that was not where we were heading. I have no desire to rush a guy into a relationship because I know that is basically asking for trouble but I also don't want to waste my time on a guy who wants to string me along.
 
This IHOP guy is so lame. I have ignored your last 3 messages to me. Please stop. He keeps asking me to give him a call? What for? I deleted his number anyways.
 
Found another gem on match!

Young black handsome intell4ent.ambitious determined focused godfearing man.that knows wat he wants out of life nd who takes da neccessary steps foward to do so.nt abt games lies deciet jus abt my money nd my familia.my circle is this small cause to many people have motives.i am incarcerated bt please dnt let dat pose as a problem.i aint got no worries

His main photo is him in a jail cell! Lol
 
futureapl said:
keyawarren I basically told him that I was confused. I did not come out right and ask what are we. He said that he was sorry for confusing me, that he had feelings for me and loves spending time with me, but does not want to rush into a relationship as he has a history of doing that in the past. He later asked me what I want in the long-run and I told him. He told me what he wants and promised to always let me know where we stand.

More background: Before we even went on our first date we agreed that we would not play any games, give each other feedback, and say what we're thinking (his idea).

I have a long history of being in fwb type relationships and I wanted to make sure that was not where we were heading. I have no desire to rush a guy into a relationship because I know that is basically asking for trouble but I also don't want to waste my time on a guy who wants to string me along.
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futureapl
You guys sound mushy, lol. I'd still keep a rotation though. Sounds like he's still the moving too fast type, especially if he actually used the word "promise" :lol: :look:

Keshieshimmer said:
Here is the profile info: Jamoplatinum
26 year old man | Alpharetta, GA, USA | Seeking women 25-35 within 5 miles
Active within 3 days
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And you know what? some woman out there would date him. :nono:
 
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