***Online Dating Support Thread***

TwoSnapsUp said:
From this experience, I saw that I got visits from mostly white, older men.

****Heads back to the How to Attract a Rich Man thread
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You and me both. Today I got a message from a 40 year old white lawyer (to put this in perspective, I'm 26). He commented on the fact that I said I'm reading classical literature asking if I was a Yankee because southerners don't read quality material:nono:
 
Omg it gets worse. Another guy who is almost 50 just e-mailed me saying "..walk'n thru the kitchen on Thanksgiving or Christmas and you just have to look under the lid of every pot & open the oven to see what's good.....Damn...I can't stop looking at you."
 
I have been talking and texting with a guy that I met online for the past week.We went on our first date today. It went well he was friendly and polite. I think I have a crush.
 
ok i am having an issue with this whole online dating business. i had a friend of mine a couple months ago ask me whether i date down. we are both big into online dating and would often swap profiles of guys to get the others' opinion. she told me that a lot of the guys i go out with are not good looking enough for me. but there were a couple things that made me hesitant to give her opinions much weight:

first of all in my opinion she is a very plain girl who is not super attractive and is irritatingly neurotic. but she is a skinny wealthy white girl, so she has a really inflated opinion of herself. she thinks she's like a 9 when i would put her a 6 AT MOST. and she's also chronically single. been on over 100 dates in a year or so and hasn't found a bf/potential husband yet.

second of all, she lives in new york. so she has a much bigger pool of available men that are statistically going to be more successful, in better shape, and more attractive than most men in most other american cities. so she has more to choose from because the options are different where she lives.

i recently visited new york and used my okcupid profile there, and the men i was pulling there were EASILY twice as attractive as the men i date where i live. it really made me stop and think about the guys i date at home. since the options are smaller here, the really eligible guys are much less accessible :sad: and i am noticing that i am ending up becoming slightly desperate about it. when i first got back, i was like, ok, now i know the kind of men that are in my league, that i should be shooting for, and i'm not going to settle for "well, kind of, i guess" guys at home just because they are harder to get.

but, it's been a month and i feel the desperation creeping in again. trying to justify why i should give "maybe" guys a shot when i still know that i can do better. and feeling inadequate and like the good looking guys i want will never be interested in me - even though i know if i were in a different part of the country this wouldn't even be an issue. does that make sense?

so basically, i feel bad for ignoring guys i probably would have talked to before i learned i could date much hotter guys :sad:
 
I have been talking to this ER nurse for about a week and I am like so when are you going to ask for the digits?! But I understand him wanting to take things slow.

boo, I looked at his photos again and I was feeling him (a rarity nowadays).
 
We went on our third date in less than a week. It was a lot of fun and I'm really starting to like this guy. I am sure he feels the same. I haven't been on Match in like 4 days. Is it wrong for me to still go on the site if we aren't official?
 
my profile is dead, sigh. i really need a new full body shot. my old one is fine, but ive lost some weight since then and would probably get lots more hits with a new one. only, i hate having my photograph taken and i don't want to do (another) lame mirror selfie. sigh, first world problems.
 
futureapl said:
We went on our third date in less than a week. It was a lot of fun and I'm really starting to like this guy. I am sure he feels the same. I haven't been on Match in like 4 days. Is it wrong for me to still go on the site if we aren't official?
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What is the harm? You aren't official, unless you are just dating to date I guess it doesn't matter. But if you are dating for marriage I would explore more.
 
This profile right here ya'll smh........have you ever LOOKED at a negros picture, thought in your head, this guy HAS to date only whites and exotics...then scroll done and get proven right by his About Me lol???


Apparently there are a lot of women (usually white women) who adamantly put on their profiles that they "dont date/aren't attracted to black men. I guess that means they are attracted to every other race of men except black men. Some say it's personal choice or preference. I dont know, but just in case I'm the only person to say this and have someone who places that on their profile, its really sad that you limit yourself to people that look like you. I won't be the one to judge, or prejudge, but the fact that your apparent level of attraction is so basic somewhat confuses, and makes me (as a human being first, man second, and black man lastly) feel like crap. This message may rub some people the wrong way, but statements like that feel equally as off putting. I just can't bite my tongue any longer.
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then this is his first date ish:

Smoothies and some walk time, or something simple...nothing too out there. Dutch on the first. If there's a second, its on me!
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Negro Puh-lease!!!!
 
ms-gg said:
This profile right here ya'll smh........have you ever LOOKED at a negros picture, thought in your head, this guy HAS to date only whites and exotics...then scroll done and get proven right by his About Me lol???




then this is his first date ish:




Negro Puh-lease!!!!
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Going by the about me I can't say he only dates others maybe he just dates everybody. He probably shouldn't worry about those that don't want to date him though. I personally don't see anything wrong with his first date either. If y'all going to start dating seriously it all evens itself out in the long run anyway so I don't mind Dutch on the first few dates if need be.
 
futureapl

Definitely continue to be on the site. You don't want to put all your eggs in one basket. If you really like him you will notice none of the other men will compare to him in your mind but until its official don't put your life on hold.
 
ms-gg SMDH I dont think he read that first date question right if he's talking about going dutch. Going dutch isn't a date IMO thats just two ppl eating together like friends.
 
When a grown arse man has never had a relationship longer than 1 yr...do bells and whistles and red flags go off in your head? They do in mine...it seems weird to me to have never had a long term relationship at least once in your life....but maybe that is just me.
 
futureapl said:
We went on our third date in less than a week. It was a lot of fun and I'm really starting to like this guy. I am sure he feels the same. I haven't been on Match in like 4 days. Is it wrong for me to still go on the site if we aren't official?
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No it's not "wrong".

This is where we mess up. We get emotionally committed before there is an actual commitment.

I'm going through this now and I am forcing myself to continue browsing, because 1)He's probably browsing too, 2)I am still on the market unless we decide that we are official.
 
keyawarren said:
No it's not "wrong".

This is where we mess up. We get emotionally committed before there is an actual commitment.

I'm going through this now and I am forcing myself to continue browsing, because 1)He's probably browsing too, 2)I am still on the market unless we decide that we are official.
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Same here. It is very hard, especially when you want him to be your future SO but you can't allow yourself to get played...and like someone told me in a thread, you might find someone that you like better
 
How long do you chat with these dudes on the actual website b4 you say *** it because they haven't asked you out on a date?

Also, I've noticed that a lot of times the mid 30-40 yr olds are quick to ask you out. They don't play games and they don't ask for you to come over and chill on their couch smh.

They know what they want and they try to snatch you up before you move on....I'm not dating any older guys in that range yet (I'm 27), but I am SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY considering...
 
i have a harder time getting asked out by 30+ year olds (and when i say asked out it under no circumstances even potentially includes hanging out at some guy's house). it's like they are waiting for me to do it for some reason. that is probably why most of my dates are with guys in their twenties, and i have noticed that also skews pretty young. i find that younger guys actually do go ahead and ask you out while older guys just let it meander waiting for you to make a move. that explains why ive only gone out with maybe four guys older than 28.
 
This dude right here lmao!!!!!!

check this profile out:

work hard. i have goals on making money and handling my business. whom ever would like to talk to me should be able to cook,clean,sex game of the chain.if you are a fake *** female please dont hmu. i want a real female thats about what she say. yeah i want a bad b**th that can spend timr and meet and greet. forget talking just on here
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emilymichelle said:
i have a harder time getting asked out by 30+ year olds (and when i say asked out it under no circumstances even potentially includes hanging out at some guy's house). it's like they are waiting for me to do it for some reason. that is probably why most of my dates are with guys in their twenties, and i have noticed that also skews pretty young. i find that younger guys actually do go ahead and ask you out while older guys just let it meander waiting for you to make a move. that explains why ive only gone out with maybe four guys older than 28.
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That is really interesting. Since I have been on that site (I use the same avatar here and there) , I have been asked out by I think 2 30 somethings, and 4 30 somethings said *** all this dating site ish, "can I get your number so I can call you" or they wanted to call me (which I ain't about that life)...


I have been talked to by some youngins (21-24) but I just can't. I am 27 :ohwell: I ain't about that robbing the cradle life...:nono:
 
[ QUOTE=ms-gg;18744859]That is really interesting. Since I have been on that site (I use the same avatar here and there) , I have been asked out by I think 2 30 somethings, and 4 30 somethings said *** all this dating site ish, "can I get your number so I can call you" or they wanted to call me (which I ain't about that life)...


I have been talked to by some youngins (21-24) but I just can't. I am 27 :ohwell: I ain't about that robbing the cradle life...:nono:[/QUOTE]

In my case it was mostly 30 somethings that asked for my number then eventually asked me out for lunch or dinner. The 20 somethings that have written to me in the past clearly didn't even read my profile because they obviously didn't come close to the criteria of what I said I was looking for. I never thought I would date anyone older than 30 (I'm 25) until online dating but now I feel like I can relate to the 30 somethings more than guys my age.
 
Okay I'm gong to try online dating again since I have no prospects at the moment Nd it may help lift my energy. I'm going back to okcupid but I may also try match, I'm not sure. I'm going to read through and see what yall say about match. It honestly the $, don't know if it's worth it
 
cutiebe2 said:
Okay I'm gong to try online dating again since I have no prospects at the moment Nd it may help lift my energy. I'm going back to okcupid but I may also try match, I'm not sure. I'm going to read through and see what yall say about match. It honestly the $, don't know if it's worth it
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Check to see if the promotion they have for Match is still on Groupon. I think I paid $15 for a month trial.
 
I deleted my POF profile because I was sick of it.

But... I'm still talking to 3 men from the site. Let them fight it out. lol I do like the sense of humor that one of them has. We have been talking for about a month and a half. Going out on dates with all of them.
 
I have come to the conclusion that I have to pick up online dating again *sigh*

Wont be anytime soon though, maybe in the next 3 months...Meanwhile, I have been taking awesome pictures to grace my profile when the time comes :look:
 
I had a good date, delicious food. But he just doesn't look like my type. He is kinda like a hipster dude. But our conversation was good and he claims he likes football.

His little glasses are cute though.
 
emilymichelle said:
sigh. i think it might be time for me to try match and see if theres any fresh meat there.
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I was really impressed with the site. My advice to you is to put up some really cute pictures, try to make sure you don't make your criteria too strict, send a few winks first, and have fun with it. It was well worth the $15. My theory is if they are paying for the online dating then more than likely they at least have a job. Enjoy
 
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