***Online Dating Support Thread***

Well, I feel like crap.

Got stood up (sorta)... Been communicating with the guy for almost 2 weeks, and even confirmed our first meet up last night over the phone. Had a super long, funny conversation about a ton of stuff last night, and he constantly reassured me that tonight was gonna be cool, relaxing and fun.

Of course, he hasn't contacted me at all today, not via text or phone. I even called a little while ago and it rang for quite a minute, before it suddenly just disconnected-- not even going to voice mail. Yeah, I feel like I've been punked. And I was looking forward to tonight too :(

All the effort only to be ultimately let down is frustrating and painful. I don't know how I even find the strength to keep trying. :nono:
 
Why in the hell would you write "I'll tell you later" as an answer to the 3 "get to know you" questions? Then have the audacity to send me 3 questions, 1 of which was quite personal.

That's like online dating 101. Be specific with your matches. I'm not rushing to a date with someone that can even answer the simple questions that I sent.
 
Incognitus said:
Man 1: Hi
Me: Hi there. Not a man of many words, huh? Lol. I'm merely teasing. How are you?
Man 1: I choose them carefully
Me: I noticed your second language is French. Are you a native speaker or did you pick it up later in life?
Man 1: Picked it up later.
Me: Delete.
Click to expand...

I'm confused. Did you lose interest because he wasn't a native speaker? Is that a turn off for you?
 
weaveadiva said:
I'm confused. Did you lose interest because he wasn't a native speaker? Is that a turn off for you?
Click to expand...

I believe she lost interest because he was not engaging in conversation. He was merely answering her questions, nothing more. Not telling her more about himself or asking more about herself. I would not waste any further time with him either.
 
About 6 months ago, a guy contacted me on POF. We texted back and forth but I stopped (not disinterest but got busy with work, etc).

In late March he contacted me again and we met in early April. We have chemistry, talk about many subjects, get along well and I recently met his friends and he has met mine. He has mentioned doing things in the future and we communicate daily now. The only issue is cultural differences. He is African (been in the US 14 yrs) and I'm African-American. I don't find it as much of a problem as a challenge sometimes. We'll see what happens. Although I would be really excited if this leads to "the relationship," I am also open to meeting other people...
 
outspokenwallflower said:
Well, I feel like crap.

Got stood up (sorta)... Been communicating with the guy for almost 2 weeks, and even confirmed our first meet up last night over the phone. Had a super long, funny conversation about a ton of stuff last night, and he constantly reassured me that tonight was gonna be cool, relaxing and fun.

Of course, he hasn't contacted me at all today, not via text or phone. I even called a little while ago and it rang for quite a minute, before it suddenly just disconnected-- not even going to voice mail. Yeah, I feel like I've been punked. And I was looking forward to tonight too :(

All the effort only to be ultimately let down is frustrating and painful. I don't know how I even find the strength to keep trying. :nono:
Click to expand...

You have to come across and maybe even kiss some frogs before finding your prince. :(. His loss. Don't let that discourage you. Keep meeting new men.
 
Wow, OKC is turning out to be better than I expected. Met with one dude, he was awesome but extremely feminine. His voice was off-putting but I decided it wasn't hurting anybody to meet. Though we bode well I'm not sure if I can get over his feminine high pitched voice. It's freaking annoying.

I've been in correspondence with two other dudes, both of whom already have a child. Bleh. Not my ideal preference but the phone conversation has been going okay. They both called back to back, lol, but I ended both conversations as I was on my way to an appointment. I don't want them thinking I am waiting pretty for dudes. :lol:

Anyway, one wants to meet this weekend, the other next weekend. I told them I will get back to them. After meeting up with both I'll assess which may be actually worth my time. One owns his own architectural company, the other just graduated with a degree in Physical Therapy. I must say, I am enjoying the attention. Online dating can be fun. The stressful part is getting cute for dates, lol.

Any advice on how to touch on the subject of their relations with their child's mother and why it didn't work out or is this something I should not touch until later on, after a few dates?
 
P.S. what is up with dudes and serial texting? OMG. It's annoying. I nip that in the bud quickly, telling them I'm traditional and while texting can be a good ice-breaker, my preference are phone calls.

I swear some are just on these sites to serial text, never intending to meet anyone offline. What losers.
 
He's back, y'all. The guy that called my spirit ugly is back with a new tune. I thought I blocked him on my mobile phone but somehow he's getting through. I've been ignoring him all this time but this time I had to tell him go in peace:

Dummy: This is the kind of mom youll be. Except with a detach tongue... --> *pastes a link that I refuse to click*

Ank: Dummy, go in peace, sweetheart.

Dummy:Who. R u?

Arent u at work?, lol

Change ur number

Dont type my name don't say my name. Lol sweetheart. Lol that's like a lemonhead calling me honey.

I wish ur fingers AND ur tongue were detached

Angelicus Noclue

God doesn't NEED u he just wants u. But there are plenty other Angels. lemonheart.

U need a puusycat im a lion. U cant break my spirit. Lol hope youre angry.
Click to expand...

None of what he is saying is making sense. This is someone I went to high school with over 15 years ago. I admired him solely for his musical talent. I simply asked him about the technique of a vocal coach who we knew mutually and he turned on me like Sybil (I can tell from his comments that he is obviously jealous of said vocal coach, as he kept mentioning his biceps and "if I was lightskinned and showed all my muscles on youtube.com, I'd have 6,000 followers too.") Of course, I am calm throughout all of this, ignoring it all.

For other comments this boy said about me, you can read the following posts.
Part 1: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=18363143#post18363143
Part 2: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=18363715#post18363715
Part 3: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=18363753#post18363753
Part 4: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=18373823#post18373823
Part 5: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=18375445#post18375445
Part 6: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=18421821#post18421821

Well... it's finally obvious that he is gay.
 
Just recieved the corniest message EVER!

"Is your name Internet? Because you’ve got everything I’ve ever searched for."

These dudes are seriously running out of ideas! #gtfoohwtbs
 
What a weekend! I had two dates scheduled, one a lunch date, the other a dinner/live music date. I had good conversation with lunch dude but dinner/live music dude was AMAZING. We hit it off immediately. He made me laugh, he was the complete gentleman, paid for everything, even held my handbag, lol. Today we spoke and he said he was interested in getting to know me better and to avoid further interests in getting in the way, was closing his OKC profile. His profile is gone! LOL. I am speechless. He appears to be very serious but I want to take things slow. He invited me for miniature golf next weekend. I'd like to go on a few more dates with him before I commit to anything further.

In the meantime I'm not sure if I should still talk to other dudes. Two others want to meet up again but I haven't gotten back to them yet. I've been ignoring their calls and texts. I am truly only feeling dinner/live music dude thus far. He totally raised the bar, but I don't want to limit myself should things not work out. In a pickle at the moment. Sigh.
 
^^that sounds like a wonderful date, rastafarai!!

i would still keep some other dudes in my pocket. :look:

Sent from my phone-typos to be expected :)
 
Man, that crazy dude I've been telling you all about is still texting me. For some reason, this block mess ain't working. This time, he's sent me a pic of him and another chick. I don't know why this dude is doing this but I am not jealous of gay men.
 
Angelicus said:
Man, that crazy dude I've been telling you all about is still texting me. For some reason, this block mess ain't working. This time, he's sent me a pic of him and another chick. I don't know why this dude is doing this but I am not jealous of gay men.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's time you tell the police he is harnessing you.
 
so I plan to revamp profile... what types of things are you ladies saying in profile to get most bites... Seems like I suck at that portion...

Sorry if already asked in thread, dont recall a response...

TIA
 
Rocky91 said:
^^that sounds like a wonderful date, rastafarai!!

i would still keep some other dudes in my pocket. :look:

Sent from my phone-typos to be expected :)
Click to expand...

Rocky, keeping dudes in my pocket is causing more problems. Just got a message from another saying he liked what he saw this past weekend and would like to "get to know me" before "another guy snatches me up". He's hinting towards exclusivity.

UGH. I need to create a pro/con list comparing both. :lol::lol::lol:...Unfortunately, I don't know how to play both fields...I actually feel bad a decision must be had. Feelings will get hurt. :look:
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
so I plan to revamp profile... what types of things are you ladies saying in profile to get most bites... Seems like I suck at that portion...

Sorry if already asked in thread, dont recall a response...

TIA
Click to expand...

I said things along the lines of liking sports (NFL, NBA games - which I honestly do, lol). I was also playfully flirtatious, for example, saying that one thing I am good at is "making you smile"....also, I mentioned some movies/TV shows on there that most men tend to love - Training Day, Shawshank Redemption, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, etc. Ultimately, try and be honest without giving away too much information. They seem to like women who appear down to earth (ie they can throw back and watch a sports game with, or something). I tried to convey this and it was often the reason mentioned as to why they decided to reach out.

Also, keep it sweet, short and to the point. No elaborate essays. Many men have a short-attention span, lol.

Just my .02. :)
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
so I plan to revamp profile... what types of things are you ladies saying in profile to get most bites... Seems like I suck at that portion...

Sorry if already asked in thread, dont recall a response...

TIA
Click to expand...

its all about the pictures really.
but a few key things that are short and make you sound interesting.

for example, i put that my favorite musicians of the moment are nina simone and fela kuti. almost every message i've gotten (from cute, quality black guys) mentions fela and "what you know about that fela" lol.
i kept it real short cause i'm lazy but those interesting tidbits seem to be working.

Sent from my phone-typos to be expected :)
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
Rocky91, what kind f picture do yo suggest?! Full body/ profile shots?!
Click to expand...

i have like 2 ultra flattering face pics and one great pic of my leg raised in the air at the beach with my toes painted red lol. so they can judge my body type from my leg lol.

but when i do add a full body shot, i'd choose one in a cute flirty dress-not too revealing.

Sent from my phone-typos to be expected :)
 
Well ladies, after spending more time with Mr. Architect this weekend, I think I'll be going on hiatus from OKC. He is a class act. Attentive, ambitious, makes me laugh, a provider, protector, the whole nine. I know its only been a few weeks but I have great vibes with this dude.

I'll continue to keep my ears close to the ground without getting way too ahead of myself, but I think a gem has found me. We spent some time in his office reviewing what he does. A great architect he is, lol. He has some major plans with respect to taking his company to greater heights and our future goals align very well. He's explicitly hinted that he hopes I'd consider building with him. I'm due to meet the family next weekend.

I'm by no means an expert on relationships, but can I just say this ladies? A man always knows what he wants. He doesn't play musical chairs or sits on decisions. If he sees what he wants he goes after it. Don't let idiotic men make you think otherwise. Deserving men do not play games.

I wrote some emails last night/today to two other contenders. One still wants to remain friends :look: the other said I had hurt him, lol. Butt-hurt after one date? Really now? LOL.

I highly recommend OKC for any other ladies who haven't tried it. There are some great dudes on there and I think I've met the one for me!
 
Rastafarai said:
Well ladies, after spending more time with Mr. Architect this weekend, I think I'll be going on hiatus from OKC. He is a class act. Attentive, ambitious, makes me laugh, a provider, protector, the whole nine. I know its only been a few weeks but I have great vibes with this dude.

I'll continue to keep my ears close to the ground without getting way too ahead of myself, but I think a gem has found me. We spent some time in his office reviewing what he does. A great architect he is, lol. He has some major plans with respect to taking his company to greater heights and our future goals align very well. He's explicitly hinted that he hopes I'd consider building with him. I'm due to meet the family next weekend.

I'm by no means an expert on relationships, but can I just say this ladies? A man always knows what he wants. He doesn't play musical chairs or sits on decisions. If he sees what he wants he goes after it. Don't let idiotic men make you think otherwise. Deserving men do not play games.

I wrote some emails last night/today to two other contenders. One still wants to remain friends :look: the other said I had hurt him, lol. Butt-hurt after one date? Really now? LOL.

I highly recommend OKC for any other ladies who haven't tried it. There are some great dudes on there and I think I've met the one for me!
Click to expand...

Hmm maybe I'll reopen my account. I'll definitely have to put income parameters up if I do.
 
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