***Online Dating Support Thread***

prettydarkthing said:
If it's sorta...it's not a date. It's definitely not a date if he's having you shell out money. No matter how inexpensive it is, it definitely isn't even a bad date if you have to pay.

Sounds like it's just a convenience for him.

Next!
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I said srta because I invited 3 of my friends lol
but yeah I didnt go. oh well.


its just hard to date these online men since I dont drive so I couldnt do the whole drive myself there thing, so I kinda have to invite a friend along every time. :/ Any suggestions?
 
prettydarkthing said:
Um, so I went out again with my OKC guy Saturday night and he is super romantic. We just talk for hours, and he's so gentlemanly.

He gave me a card about something that I told him happened earlier and I was surprised. He really listens.

It's so nice to have someone who listens. :yep:
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That is always nice I remember telling one of my old boos that my favorite color was purple like once the first time we met and then one day he sent me some just because purple flowers in a purple vase, it was cute.
 
Just figured out a man I was chatting with is actually 10 years my senior. no thank you :nono:

And I realized that sending flirts on pof results in nothing but regret.
 
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Same guy on match.com has winked at me for the third time at least. No overt red flags on his profile other than he's 33 and ready to settle down. I'm 25 and not ready for that. I want to travel more, explore and get settled in my career before putting down roots. He's not my ideal type physically but I could see myself becoming attracted if we met and had a connection.:perplexed
 
nadaa16 said:
Just figured out a man I was chatting with is actually 10 years my senior. no thank you :nono:

And I realized that sending flirts on pof results in nothing but regret.
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I recently went out with a guy 12 years older than me. Oldest guy I've ever went out with. It was okay. We hung out a couple times.
 
Just got a message from a redhead with freckles.:perplexed



That is like my worst nightmare. I know that sounds biased ....but I just cant.I just wont allow. His message wasnt even half bad...but I saw a tinge of red and then I saw freckles and I just hit that X in the corner.



:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
emilymichelle said:
I recently went out with a guy 12 years older than me. Oldest guy I've ever went out with. It was okay. We hung out a couple times.
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but he lied! I'm 21 the thing said like 27,28 come to find out through google hes 31

Men are really shallow. change my profile pic to one of just my face messages are dry like 1 or 2. changing back to a pic of full body in tank and shorts messages are jumping. *sigh
 
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I was on occupied and piece of this guys profile when asked what are you go at said:
Hunting for Unicorns. Cause finding a 100% match on Okcupid is like finding a Unicorn. Into the Forrest, I Go. I'm sorry i:dighole:. I guess he never been on lhcf.....i'm going to bed.
 
natura87 said:
Just got a message from a redhead with freckles.:perplexed

That is like my worst nightmare. I know that sounds biased ....but I just cant.I just wont allow. His message wasnt even half bad...but I saw a tinge of red and then I saw freckles and I just hit that X in the corner.

:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
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:lachen: you're a horrible person :lol:
 
prettydarkthing said:
Oh I see. Hmm, what is the public transit system like where you live? Is it decent or no?
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Its ok. Im in atlanta so its marta. During the day its pretty reliable train comes about every 15 minutes during the day but at night it could be like 20 minutes to an hour between trains. :nono:
Would it be unreasonable to ask him to pay for a cab at least for the first few dates?
 
So today Katie has a show dedicated to online dating and how to meet the right guy. Katie and her guests rehashed the usual about how to talk to a guy, etc.

BUT what I found interesting was how they broke down the major online dating sites by age groups.

OKC & POF - women in their 20s
Match - are more towards women in their 30s. But eharmony are for women who would like to marry.
eharmony - over 40.

They stated Match is for you do the searching for the person and eharmony will do the matching for you. So it depends on your preference.

The show even discussed not overloading your profile, about being confusing (as in I'm indoorsy and outdoorsy, choose one).

I like it. I'm OKC and I had some hits, but nothing that I'm interested in; so I'm leaning towards trying match.com (with a coupon) to see if I can get a date.
 
nadaa16 said:
Its ok. Im in atlanta so its marta. During the day its pretty reliable train comes about every 15 minutes during the day but at night it could be like 20 minutes to an hour between trains. :nono:
Would it be unreasonable to ask him to pay for a cab at least for the first few dates?
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I would think it's unreasonable for the first few dates.

Why can't your friends drop you off and they go sit in a corner somewhere?
 
nadaa16 said:
Its ok. Im in atlanta so its marta. During the day its pretty reliable train comes about every 15 minutes during the day but at night it could be like 20 minutes to an hour between trains. :nono:
Would it be unreasonable to ask him to pay for a cab at least for the first few dates?
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Personally, I would feel uncomfortable asking him to pay for my cab--especially since it's so new. My advice would be to try and find someone (a good friend that lives not too far) to drop you off and pick you up when ready to go home. Or, tell the guy you don't have a car/ride, and see if he offers to pay for a cab.
 
Renewed1 said:
Need advice. For my profile, I put that I'm practicing celibacy. Do you think that was a bad idea?
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I was going to ask this as well. one one hand I think just be up front that way no one wastes their time if he isnt willing to respect your decision, on the other thats none of everybody's business.
 
OHHHHHHHHHH SHOOT!!!!! I just figured out how to multi quote all by lil self! :grin:

Renewed1 said:
So pre_medicalrulz the more money you pay the better quality of men?
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It seemed that way, yes.

Incognitus said:
pre_medicalrulz Wait, so how were you able to determine this???
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I did the highest (6 months) agreement and I had a surplus of potential men and great dates! SOME HOW my paypal thought my payment was a fraud from the site so paypal SOME HOW contacted the site and the site had my account deleted before my 6 months were up. When I found out, I decided to sign back up but do the lowest package (2 months). SMDH! The layout page was different, the matches they started sending daily were totally totally different and NOT from my City AND the potentials DISAPPEARED! :ohwell:
 
nadaa16 said:
Its ok. Im in atlanta so its marta. During the day its pretty reliable train comes about every 15 minutes during the day but at night it could be like 20 minutes to an hour between trains. :nono:
Would it be unreasonable to ask him to pay for a cab at least for the first few dates?
Click to expand...


nadaa16
I don't drive either (for medical reasons) and here's how I go about it. For the first date I always suggest an afternoon date at a place in walking distance from my apartment. So far for me it has always been a Saturday or Sunday at 3ish at a Starbucks 15 mins walk from me in a nice shopping area. The walk actually helps calm the first date jitters. During the first date, the topic of you not driving should come up and you should let him know he will be picking you up for the subsequent dates. After date one you should do a complete background check on him (ask questions that will help you find info on him like the name of the company he works for, where he grew up etc). For dates 2 & 3 tell him to pick you up at a coffee shop or store near your apartment (I chose another Starbucks 3 blocks away) and drop you off there afterwards. By the fourth date I'm usually comfortable enough to let him pick me up from home.

I've only gotten past the first date with two guys so this isn't fool proof, but that's what I do.

I used to live in ATL, so I know depending on your neighborhood there might be nothing in walking distance. In that case, I'd still pick an afternoon date and choose a meet up spot that is safe and less than a 20 minute bus ride away.

I've found that most guys don't care that I don't drive and are more than happy to pick me up from my place (once I get comfortable enough with them to let them know where I live). Unless their profile is amazing, I usually only respond to guys who live within 15-20 mins from me. Fortunately my area has good prospects.

Anyway, I hope that helps. Good luck!

ETA: always carry pepper spay w/ you ($10 @ rite aid), enough money to get you home, a fully charged phone, and let a family member or friend know who you are with. But everyone should do this anyway when meeting a stranger.
 
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thank you for the tips ChemistryGirl I will try them. but Idk I may have to cool it on the online dating I dont know if atlanta is just the breeding ground for ratch or what but this is the bio of someone who just recently contacted me
I dont mean to come off as that guy.. but the only women that treated me like a man is supposed to be treated where latinos, and white women. why do most black women have so much anger? Learn how let go. Im a god fearing man looking for a god fearing woman. black,white,or purple.
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*SIGH
 
I had a first date tonight. It was a surprise first date - we were supposed to go out tomorrow, but something better came up tonight and he invited me. I had a great time and he texted me after, but I have been on too many first dates to automatically expect a follow up. I really liked him, though, so I hope he does.
 
nadaa16 said:
Its ok. Im in atlanta so its marta. During the day its pretty reliable train comes about every 15 minutes during the day but at night it could be like 20 minutes to an hour between trains. :nono:
Would it be unreasonable to ask him to pay for a cab at least for the first few dates?
Click to expand...

I make guys pay for my cab if it's a reasonable distance (usually a seven to fifteen dollar cab ride.) But we agree on it before, and it's usually because he really wants me to come to a part of town that means I'd feel better in a cab at night. I make it clear (subtly) that I am inconveniencing myself and he usually offers.

eta: actually, thats usually only when im coming from somewhere else and this is a last minute second date thing for me. disregard. i wouldnt do that for a first (or second) date. unless it was something last minute.
 
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I guess I'm *indirectly* online dating. My GF, who is on OKCupid, saw a guy that she though would be good for me. She sent him a blurb about me and my picture. :lol: I looked at his profile and he looks like he might be a good fit. We'll see if this goes anywhere!
 
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