***Online Dating Support Thread***

I don't understand why men take the time to make profiles to waste people's time.
This ninja messaged me! We've been talking on and off since January, we just exchanged numbers last night. He asked me what I was looking for on POF, and I told him that I'm open to meeting someone that's not going to waste my time and then asked what he was looking for. This is the convo. Smh why not make what you're looking for clear on ur profile? Or 3 months ago!
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I just joined OKC yesterday, and my inbox is full of messages...from white men! Some are cute, some aren't. I'm getting a little frustrated because only a few black men messaged me. 95% of my visitors are white men. What's up with that? This is my first time trying online dating, so I don't know if it's my profile or what...I know it's only been a day, but I still expected more black men to visit my profile...
 
Some ugly fool :look: has this as his profile picture and asking for a real, genuine,classy woman........

DELETED PIC TO PROTECT ANY DIGNITY HE MAY HAVE LEFT
 
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^^ Girl, that's a good 70% of the profiles in my area: showing money, sneakers or "kicks" and cars with "spinnin rims" LOL. smh

ETA: Someone needs to open their eyes...but it ain't gonna be me!
 
I'm giving online dating another go.
This bag of goodness just asked for my number and gave me his. We had been messaging back and forth yesterday.
On paper he is perfect. Seriously.
Online dating rules is i have to wait for him to contact me correct?
I need a date!
 
CarLiTa said:
Dear Black men on OKC,
You can't just contact me in any which way just because we are both black, you know?
All this: hey, hey cutie you are so beautiful, hey we're both black, what's up?:perplexed is not cutting it.
Why don't you read my profile like everyone else does. If you read it, or at least skimmed it, you would see that I do not like one-word messages and promise not to answer to those. Yet you all consistently send me these types (save for maybe 3, who actually got responses).

I like getting messages from you, and I honestly would like it more if you actually took the time to try to get to know me with substance questions instead of all the vapid ones you send.

Thanks.
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I hate this too!... I'm doing this whole "online dating" thing too, and its so frustrating sometimes. I hate how they approach me, I feel like throwing in the towel with dating.


ETA:

this guy messaged me saying hello, asked my name.. so when I asked him if he could tell me something about himself. He response back "I don't like to blurb out any random information out online"- I understand what he's saying, but at least he could have told me a little bit about himself, at least to have a conversation.

Oh he wrote me back. Let me see what he wrote.
 
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I decided to reach out to the type of men I like. I'm just making random statements about their profile to see if and how they will respond to me.

One guy did, which is good, but don't know what else to say to him. I'll figure it out later this week.
 
mochalocks said:
I hate this too!... I'm doing this whole "online dating" thing too, and its so frustrating sometimes. I hate how they approach me, I feel like throwing in the towel with dating.


ETA:

this guy messaged me saying hello, asked my name.. so when I asked him if he could tell me something about himself. He response back "I don't like to blurb out any random information out online"- I understand what he's saying, but at least he could have told me a little bit about himself, at least to have a conversation.

Oh he wrote me back. Let me see what he wrote.
Click to expand...

mochalocks what did he message back to say? :grin:
 
Renewed1 said:
I decided to reach out to the type of men I like. I'm just making random statements about their profile to see if and how they will respond to me.

One guy did, which is good, but don't know what else to say to him. I'll figure it out later this week.
Click to expand...

Renewed1 I have read some profiles recently that say that they won't send messages to women first. I just cannot stand that.
If I send out a first message and the guy replies I'm already turned off because I had to send the first message. Then what always happens is I soon realise why they didn't message me...they knew they weren't ish.
 
MizzKutieQ said:
I don't understand why men take the time to make profiles to waste people's time.
This ninja messaged me! We've been talking on and off since January, we just exchanged numbers last night. He asked me what I was looking for on POF, and I told him that I'm open to meeting someone that's not going to waste my time and then asked what he was looking for. This is the convo. Smh why not make what you're looking for clear on ur profile? Or 3 months ago!

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

You should have asked this on day 1. You have got to find a way to weed them out quicker. I asked about their vehicle, living situation, job, kids, and what they're looking for in the first few days.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Bublin said:
@Renewed1 I have read some profiles recently that say that they won't send messages to women first. I just cannot stand that.
If I send out a first message and the guy replies I'm already turned off because I had to send the first message. Then what always happens is I soon realise why they didn't message me...they knew they weren't ish.
Click to expand...


I feel the same way. If I have to sent out the first message and "continue the conversation" I'm already putting you in the "friend" category.
 
Well I'll be......I just had a fast paced exchange of messages - the way i like it - and he asked for my number. I was like what the heck and gave it to him. Wasn't expecting anything until at least tomorrow and he texts me straight away.
I'm going to bed now so I'll just bid him good night.
 
Proudnapps said:
I just joined OKC yesterday, and my inbox is full of messages...from white men! Some are cute, some aren't. I'm getting a little frustrated because only a few black men messaged me. 95% of my visitors are white men. What's up with that? This is my first time trying online dating, so I don't know if it's my profile or what...I know it's only been a day, but I still expected more black men to visit my profile...
Click to expand...

It depends on your city demographics.
But also, OKC is majority white, as is the US (if you are here).
 
POF is full of rejects from society.... Yesterday dude living with his mom wanted to own a country soon...Today...Another dude told me that he only has 3 kids because he signed over his parental rights for his other 2 kids.. Then I said..so you have 5 kids..He says..if you wanna say that..WTF and Why me...
 
Shay72 said:
You should have asked this on day 1. You have got to find a way to weed them out quicker. I asked about their vehicle, living situation, job, kids, and what they're looking for in the first few days.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
Click to expand...
I ask all of that during the first phone conversation. And I make sure that they call me...I will not have text conversations with someone that I dont know..
 
mochalocks said:
He said he works in construction, he used to live alone but now he lives with family because hurricane Sandy messed up his place. No kids, age 30

Excuse the typos but i'm on my iPod touch
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I love when they tell me that they use to live alone..now they live with their family because

A. their grandmom is old and needs the help
B. They work too many hours and didnt see the point of paying 1600 a month for their condo
C. They were living with the ex now they are saving money for their own again.
D. They just moved back in town and living with the family until they find their own place.
E. They are trying to start their own business and will move once they gets off the ground..

Yes...Its time for me to give up on online dating:lachen::lachen::blush::nono::spinning::ohwell:
 
Mini update: Going to have to let the other guy I've been dating go. So he's talked a bit (a lot) about a friend of his who he always made seem interesting and intriguing. The other day I finally made a cursory facebook search and found him. Boring, boring. So I look for the name of his friend he always mentions and he is cute, cute and even engaging through fb. But it's no biggie at that moment. That night I dream I'm out with the guy that I'm dating, and this other guy comes along (not friend, random guy) and I just go off with him and we're all over each other and guy I'm dating is to the side looking all sad :lol: Still no biggie, though.

Last night, I'm browsing through my quickmatch on okc and whose face shows up? The friends! I'm more attracted to his friend (partly through the guy I'm dating's description of his personality mind you) than I am to him and I haven't even met that guy in person. It really just feels like a complete clusterfluck waiting to happen, so I'm going to bow out of this one. My hormones are raging like crazy and I just can't muster up any real passion for this dude. I want to jump on someone, just not him :look:
 
So.....the weekend went great! Well, besides his luggage being lost the entire time :ohwell: We clicked very well in person, the chemistry was definitely there....so I am relieved about that. He was courteous, and treated me respectfully. Very funny - I laughed alot. So we'll definitely be seeing each other again! :grin:
 
bajandoc86 said:
So.....the weekend went great! Well, besides his luggage being lost the entire time :ohwell: We clicked very well in person, the chemistry was definitely there....so I am relieved about that. He was courteous, and treated me respectfully. Very funny - I laughed alot. So we'll definitely be seeing each other again! :grin:
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bajandoc86 how far is he away from you?
 
So...two people with the same last name as my ex have contacted me. Of course they're not related, but my ex has a very distinct name, that I liked a lot.

I refuse to talk to them because that's just weird. Is the universe trying to tell me something? The same name popped up at work a couple weeks ago too. I wanna forget this dude. Ugh!!
 
My date was a bust last night, he said meet him at the local Marina. The dang Marina is huge, he was driving around, I stayed in my spot and gave directions. He never made it to me, we both gave up and went home after 45 minutes. We talked for a week prior to this meeting, it's done now. We were both frustrated, moving on. I think I was more mad that got dressed and did my makeup for nothing. Seriously. LoL
 
So I've been messaging back and forth with a nice enough guy for a few weeks. He wants to meet up but I want to get to know him better first. He's ok with that.

A cuteeeeee and very nice Canadian dude an hour's flight away has been messaging me but he seems very busy and it takes him ages to respond so not too sure for now.

Finally, there's one guy who messaged; said he liked my profile and smile and asked to meet for a coffee to find out more. Not sure what to respond to that as I prefer to get a feel for the person first before meeting up because I don't want to encounter some weirdo. He's cute too although a lot older than I had in mind.

I've received some very bizarre messages too. One guy sent me a message talking about he's tried of dating phony women and he's ready to get married and wants to be with someone and if I want to be married too, I should connect with him because I'm so beautiful. Dude is in Japan by the way. :ohwell:

One guy sent a polite message and I looked over his profile but fell asleep at the computer before replying. When I logged back in the next day to reply, he'd sent me a long message about how evil I was for going by his profile and not even saying hi. Ok, psycho. I blocked him stat!

The search continues...:)
 
So ok....

I just jumped into this online dating thing 2 days ago and...wow, talk a out overwhelming. This is a GREAT WAY to see guys for who they really are.


I had to change my profile to include that I am not interested in one night stands and such because men keep hitting me up then asking for sex and say "oh word? U ain't giving it up? Bye." Then leaving. I'm like so....why'd u waste my time. I feel like I'm doing a social experiment. Some of these dudes are sooo boring. Like, I haven't laughed even once while we spoke kinda boring. Then they ask if I want to meet and I say thanks but no thanks, they just bore me to tears!


I met this one guy who is absolutely in LOVE with my natural hair. I think he has fallen in lust with me, I barely talk to the guy for 5 mins on the phone (no I don't give my # to every1) and he's says "I reeeeeally want to get to know you. Cause you're gorgeous, and you have natural hair, and you're bad!" I was like wow, haha, ok. I thought it was cute. Buuuuut I think he lied and said he goes to church to impress me, because I looked at his instagram and can clearly see he sent about that holiness life.


So tonight I talked to this one dude. He's a political science major and he asked me about my faith in God and we had a really good conversation. I loved it, we had a hard time getting off the phone and when he complimented me he said NOTHING about NY appearance, he said I was unique and that it was refreshing talking to someone about things that are worthwhile. That to me was 2000x better than all the thirsty dudes in my inbox!

Can't wait to talk to him again but I'm keeping my options open.
 
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