***Online Dating Support Thread***

CarLiTa Ms. Smooth talker! Lol. That was a great example. Also, I've been trying out the but/and replacement all day (just to test it out). Yeah, I'm definitely applying that in the future.


Ladies, I'm officially discouraged with this guy. He sent me his email addy on Wednesday midday. That same early evening, I sent him an email to his personal addy. It's Thursday and still no response (from a many who had sent several a day). This evening, I sent him a google chat invite. Five minutes later, it showed he had accepted and that he was online (green dot). Yet, he did not send me any kind of message or IM. What-- was he expecting ME to text him first? :confused: This dude is getting me annoyed.

I have several guys trying to get to know me--and I barely give them any time. I'm just not interested (especially after talking to this guy). The ONE guy...ONE who I find interesting, appealing, is seemingly full of hot air. I guess, he's treating me how I've treated some of the other guys. :sad: I don't like the way this feels. :nono:
 
I had a guy text me yesterday and we hadn't talked in almost a week. He never made an effort to set up a date and at this point I hate small talk.

I ignored him =(

Reading a profile it sys this:
The six things I could never do without
woman, drink, smoke, money, working, god
Click to expand...
 
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This is not going well...been talking to Mr. I don't spend money or pay for my data plan for a couple weeks now and he's the only one I think is cool. He gave a second try and sent me his number and said 'just putting that out there' :look: not sure if ill bite. He really does seem like my type minus the whole broke thing, but he definitely has potential if he's learning engineering...I just wonder if hell use it.

Most other ppl are ugg or act shy. I do not have time for bashful dudes. Or they are boring and cannot carry a conversation. I hate when 30 dudes send me the same message. Like they all meet up and collaborate boring messages to send chicks. I just can't.
 
So this evening, I was checking my google mail and noticed he was on "green". After a couple hours, he was still there. So I bit the bullet and sent him a text! Here it goes:

7:23 PM me: Now why on earth would you give me your email address if you did not plan on replying?
Him: I apologize If I'm somehow missed a message you've sent
How about HI Incognitus, how are you?

me: Lol. Yes,I did send a message (hopefully it's not in the spam or trash folder). I'm good. And yourself?
Him: I'm blessed thanks
How was your week?
I haven't gotten a message from you until now
[snipped]

me: Wow, I sent one on Wednesday. Should I resend? Blessed? Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness….... Amazing, I was just looking at that scripture!

Him: Ahhh....you do know we matched rather high
me: yes.....i do

[snipped]

Him: Hey, we could share passages...or do our own Bible study or something
me: That would be cool.
Him: I concur
[snipped]

*15min silence, then:
Him: Its been a pleasure as always chatting with you Incognitus. I'd like to also talk with you sometime
I'm going to step out for a bit...I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening
Ciao Bella!

9:36 PM me: Yes, I am proud to have moved up in the cyber world :) The ball is in your court. It was a pleasure for me as well. Be safe out there. Good night.


So there it is. We have a bible study scheduled for Tues evening. I've never participated in an IM bible study before. :grin:

I'm getting the impression that he likes to take things extremely slow...like molasses. :lol: I'm still wondering if he did ever get my email, and why he didn't ask me to resend it?

All in all, I'm kinda content.....I think. :look:
 
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Incognitus then just tell him. I think he can sense that you want to talk on the phone and is perhaps stringing things out or stringing you along.
After just a few messages i get bored and if a guy doesn't ask for my number or offer his then i'm typically put off or if i really like him i will just say that it would be nice to talk. Usually i get, 'Oh yes of course I just didn't want to be forward incase you weren't ready. Here is my number.....'
 
Incognitus then just tell him. I think he can sense that you want to talk on the phone and is perhaps stringing things out or stringing you along.
After just a few messages i get bored and if a guy doesn't ask for my number or offer his then i'm typically put off or if i really like him i will just say that it would be nice to talk. Usually i get, 'Oh yes of course I just didn't want to be forward incase you weren't ready. Here is my number.....'
 
Bublin I did not want to be the first to suggest the number exchange. I feel like if a man is interested, then he will take it to the next step. The only reason this has lasted as long as it has is because I enjoyed our initial messages. It's been quite a while since I've enjoyed conversation with a truly intelligent man. Well, the other day, I decided to just move on. But then, today, he mentioned wanting to actually talk to me. So, I think I'm going to see how it goes--but will not be holding my breath!
 
Incognitus

I think you should go at his pace. If you try to go faster than he wants he may go ghost. Also you have to realize that some people just never sign out of chat. Additionally he may be talking to someone else too. I do encourage you to not put all of your eggs in one basket. When I met my BF I knew he was the one but until he wanted to make things exclusive I kept seeing & talking to other men. He did the same with other women. You just have to have confidence that despite all of that you will be the one to stand out.You dont want to put your life on hold and it is possible you might meet a guy that you like just as much as him and you both have the same pace.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Ok... so dude messaged me and said he wants to come down here and see a movie or something with me. He lives an hour away and can only take taxis because he's stationed on the stupidest training facility on earth where they can't have POVs. This is dude who's always talking about things being expensive :look: so I said in my nice way of saying... that would be an extremely expensive taxi ride IF taxis even go that far :look: to which he states he'd spend any amount of money to see my pretty face. :blush:

Corny, I know. Still not sure about this. I always get last minute jitters when I'm going to meet someone. Any thoughts?
 
A little off topic:

Ladies, how would you feel if a (real life) friend, sibling, or close relative read your thread posts in this relationship section, without ever telling you?
 
Incognitus said:
A little off topic:

Ladies, how would you feel if a (real life) friend, sibling, or close relative read your thread posts in this relationship section, without ever telling you?
Click to expand...

I would FREAK. OUT. Did this happen to you?? Are you related to me?? :nono::lol:

But really... whenever I think about it I scan prev posts and make sure my face isn't up somewhere, or have some things deleted. I never really think about how big this forum is and then I start suspecting friends of mine who have gone natural might recognize some of my situations. :perplexed
 
LOL - I think there is good reason why the guys who I want to message me, don't. All goes back to men knowing deep down they are out of a good woman's league.

I messaged this guy and he responded - already I see that he ain't ish. Should have left him to keep viewing my profile.

On another note I'm having a nice convo with a guy that messaged me.
 
My friends and sister are on this website. IDGAF lol.

2 more dates from OKC. Went on date last night with the Jewish fella, MH. Met his friends and yada yada. For the last few days I was considering exclusivity with him, but now not so sure I want to. Maybe it's because I'm PMSing, but I'm like, hm, I'm not as into him as I thought. We need to go do something fun, because yesterday's date did not meet my expectations. It's probably because I was too excited going into it. That always happens. Thanks, Universe. When will I learn??
 
CarLiTa;18004489[B said:
]My friends and sister are on this website. IDGAF lol.[/B]

2 more dates from OKC. Went on date last night with the Jewish fella, MH. Met his friends and yada yada. For the last few days I was considering exclusivity with him, but now not so sure I want to. Maybe it's because I'm PMSing, but I'm like, hm, I'm not as into him as I thought. We need to go do something fun, because yesterday's date did not meet my expectations. It's probably because I was too excited going into it. That always happens. Thanks, Universe. When will I learn??
Click to expand...

LOL. It's one thing to know they're on here, but it's another for them to not tell you, and then ask you questions about what you posted...creepy for me. LOL.

With Jewish dude, how many dates have you had with him? I only recall reading about two. If that is the case, it's probably to soon to dismiss you interest level based on this last date. I'm curious, what were you expecting on this date? I mean, did you already know you were going to meet his friends?
 
Incognitus said:
LOL. It's one thing to know they're on here, but it's another for them to not tell you, and then ask you questions about what you posted...creepy for me. LOL.

With Jewish dude, how many dates have you had with him? I only recall reading about two. If that is the case, it's probably to soon to dismiss you interest level based on this last date. I'm curious, what were you expecting on this date? I mean, did you already know you were going to meet his friends?
Click to expand...

We are probably on date 8 or so.
I met his roommates before, and we kinda canceled our plans last minute to attend this dinner one of the roommates was hosting. Turns out that roommate coordinates a meetup group, and there were all these strangers eating with us! I had no idea it would be that many people. I was a good sport and asked a lot of questions about the point of the meetup, and the guests ate it up:rolleyes:... but at the same time I was like lawd:ohwell: talk about a botched date.
 
Agreed to a date with someone else for Thursday. Not going to lie... losing interest a bit... going, playing the part, but not really feeling a connection...

I remember when I used to think a connection wasn't that hard to find... and then I find the real deal, and then it's been kinda difficult ever since.

I have a bit of a connection with Jewish guy... I guess quite a bit... but there are certain things about him that don't please me that much. He is an extreeeeme workaholic, for example... and I don't like how he gets extra pensive and looks like he has checked out... (while I love super smart men, a lot of them do that and it grates my nerves... According to my ex, I used to do the same. I had to work hard at it).

(Maybe it is PMS. Everything feels so gloomy. Ugh:perplexed)
 
Met a guy online who seems to have potential. Convos have gone well for the last 3 months. He is intelligent, ambitious, funny, and sweet....thus far. We also share the same religious beliefs. He'll be flying in to the country soon for business and he booked 2 extra flights to visit the city I'm in, in order for us to go on our first real date.

I'm excited but cautious. Dear Lord let him not be a total fake, serial killer, and may he have good hygiene and nice teeth. *prays earnestly*
 
Anyone else still doing this online dating business? I had a lull for a couple weeks, but suddenly am receiving quality messages again.
Have date tonight, tomorrow, and planning 1-2 soon.
I am going to try to be open on these dates. I might go get a bottle of wine and have a couple glasses before each...:look:.... because I am not naturally feeling open right now:ohwell: and maybe we should end the date with a walk. Walks always help me relax. This probably sounds crazy lol, but dinner dates make me feel closed off. I'm too aware of my surroundings at whatever cramped little table we are at, and having to yell over whatever background music they have.
My best first dates have not included restaurant dinners at all... my best dates in general have not included dinner at all... unless the guy cooked for me or something, in which case I love that.
If tonight's guy seems normal and pleasant, I'll have him walk me to my neighborhood or something.
 
I am! I go back and forth with it. It's a good way to meet people that I wouldn't ordinarily reach or that wouldn't ordinarily approach me. This is my 3rd or so round with it and I've kind of decided to take a different approach and return messages to a more diverse group of guys. I have a first date tonight and another that should be scheduled some time during the week.
 
I've been hot and cold with online dating. I'm replying to fewer messages and being pickier about who I bother communicating with. It starts getting boring having the same getting to know you emails with 20 different guys, only for them to suddenly disappear, say something weird or the conversation just fizzles out. I'm trying to remotivate myself to keep going though.

On a positive note. I just had a coffee date with a guy I've been talking to on OKC for a month. It went pretty well. We had a great conversation and were able to connect on many different levels. He's cute (even cuter than his pictures) and I felt some chemistry, which was nice bc it's been a long time since I felt that. At a point we were standing one step apart on an escalator so we were pretty close and I felt a physical pull between us. Anyway, I hope things keep going well with this guy and he asks me out again, but I'm going to keep communicating with other guys of course.
 
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