***Online Dating Support Thread***

Uploaded my pic at around midnight out of sheer boredom, got about 25 hits.

I'm new to this, so if y'all have any pointers shoot em my way.

Only reply to the ones you're really interested in. You don't want to give anyone false hopes. If you have non negotiables, stick to them. Answer questions that you're comfortable with and always end with a question to keep the conversation going. I asked a lot of questions bc there were a few things I needed to know before I would be willing to give them some attention. Such as: did they own a vehicle and did they actually drive it, employed, did they live alone or with their sister, cousin, aunt or whoever, and did they have kids? I'm 40 years old so I expected men to have kids. If they did then my next question, do they live with you :look:? It was also important to me that even if the kid(s) didn't live with them that they were a part of their life. He had to make me laugh too. Know what you want. Don't settle.

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So I caved and messaged a guy I thought was cute. He messaged me and said he was surprised someone as attractive as me would talk to him. :blush: we're having a convo now and it's actually interesting and not awkward. He seems a bit sensitive though. He's going through training with the national guard so I understand, I was emotional through boot camp and training as well.

Another guy I'm chatting with I viewed his page a couple times and thought he was kind of cute. It's just that he's blond and I do not like blond hair on men. He actually messaged me first, asked me questions and randomly turned the conversation about himself. Like he acted like I asked him a question and answered it. I had to re read my message several times but in no way did his response make sense. He's only 5'10 anyway so I think I'll preserve my energy.
 
^^ are you very tall?

My date tonight was a total waste of time. Ugh. I already knew it would go nowhere, but now I wish I'd stayed home. For many reasons... including the fact that I paid for my own meal:perplexed, and he was going to buy ice cream for this female friend whose house he is heading to for drinks and a movie:eek::lachen:
 
^^ are you very tall?

My date tonight was a total waste of time. Ugh. I already knew it would go nowhere, but now I wish I'd stayed home. For many reasons... including the fact that I paid for my own meal:perplexed, and he was going to buy ice cream for this female friend whose house he is heading to for drinks and a movie:eek::lachen:

What the heck??? :nono::nono:

On another note: Our messages have been getting a bit more personal, and he has definitely lightened up even more. We are exchanging 3,4 messages a day. Yet.....no phone number. LOL. :wallbash:
 
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^^ are you very tall?

My date tonight was a total waste of time. Ugh. I already knew it would go nowhere, but now I wish I'd stayed home. For many reasons... including the fact that I paid for my own meal:perplexed, and he was going to buy ice cream for this female friend whose house he is heading to for drinks and a movie:eek::lachen:

I'm nearly 5'6, and I like to be able to wear heels around guys without feeling tall and awkward. I'm the tallest in my family and I'm nearly my dads height in heels. :(

I'm sorry about your sucky date. :needhug:
 
yuhlovevybz said:
I'm nearly 5'6, and I like to be able to wear heels around guys without feeling tall and awkward. I'm the tallest in my family and I'm nearly my dads height in heels. :(

I'm sorry about your sucky date. :needhug:

Thank you. I learned my lesson: don't try to give someone a pity date. The universe WILL punk you:lol:

And so, you're not very tall. Why are your height requirements so stringent:lol: With 3-4 inch heels you'll be 5'9-10, so what's the matter? 5'10 and up would be acceptable in my book.
 
I'm nearly 5'6, and I like to be able to wear heels around guys without feeling tall and awkward. I'm the tallest in my family and I'm nearly my dads height in heels. :(

:lol: Not to laugh at your dilemma but my mom's 5'11 and I'm 5'8 myself. I really expected you to be taller than that.

I guess it's different when you've always been tall and had to learn to live with it. That said I can't do actual short guys (not average height guys who just aren't tall). I went out for my b-day last week and this little Asian guy who was right under my boob kept trying to dance with me. Now that was awkward!
 
:lol: Not to laugh at your dilemma but my mom's 5'11 and I'm 5'8 myself. I really expected you to be taller than that.

I guess it's different when you've always been tall and had to learn to live with it. That said I can't do actual short guys (not average height guys who just aren't tall). I went out for my b-day last week and this little Asian guy who was right under my boob kept trying to dance with me. Now that was awkward!

:lachen: I think there's something in the water because most of my friends have always been short, like 5'1, so I'm just towering around. I think heightnorexia is real. :lol:

I guess 5'10 is ok, I normally don't measure people in person so height online confuses me. And guys like to lie when it comes to inches. :look:
 
:lol: I'm 5'4, so 5'8 would be somewhat okay with me... though I prefer 5'9 and up.

Speaking of... I might go out with Finance guy again. He's sent some thoughtful messages since. I'm getting fewer messages this week... I might need to revamp my profile and my pictures:scratchch
 
:lachen: I think there's something in the water because most of my friends have always been short, like 5'1, so I'm just towering around. I think heightnorexia is real. :lol:

I guess 5'10 is ok, I normally don't measure people in person so height online confuses me. And guys like to lie when it comes to inches. :look:

Hahahaha...sooo true!
 
Went out with a guy today for a lunch first date and I don't know how to handle my next move.

So he's super cool. I wouldn't say he is the perfect guy for me, but he is seriously brilliant and I like picking his mind. So we went out and had a nice time and a good conversation and I agreed to go on another date next Friday to the Jack Daniels distillery, which I also liked how he offered something non-traditional to do.

Then it happened :look: He got up and he has this rash, or skin condition or something on the back of his neck that I didn't notice when I came in. I hate to be like that, but I can't stop thinking about it.

So what would y'all do? Go on the next date and then bow out since I already committed to it? Back out now? And if so, what do I say because I seriously don't want to be like "Well, you know your neck sorta grosses me out, dude."
 
Was it a rash or could it have been a birthmark? I totally understand, I don't like skin abnormalities but I've dealt with plenty of strange birth marks. :look:

Dude I'm messaging asked for my number because he's using too much data. Sounds like a cheapie. He also said he doesn't go out with his friends much because its so expensive. He does not sound like my type, such a shame, he was cute and sweet. Should I keep testing the waters or are these definite flags?
 
Was it a rash or could it have been a birthmark? I totally understand, I don't like skin abnormalities but I've dealt with plenty of strange birth marks. :look:

Dude I'm messaging asked for my number because he's using too much data. Sounds like a cheapie. He also said he doesn't go out with his friends much because its so expensive. He does not sound like my type, such a shame, he was cute and sweet. Should I keep testing the waters or are these definite flags?


Omg, :lachen::lachen::lachen: uhhhh let that one go.
 
What did the rash look like???
I guess it's that bad you couldn't stomach it.

Was it a rash or could it have been a birthmark? I totally understand, I don't like skin abnormalities but I've dealt with plenty of strange birth marks. :look:

I'm almost positive he has some sort of skin condition. It was dark and bumpy and looked sort of hard like a protective shell :look:

Also, it went from his neck to disappear inside his shirt so there is no telling where it stops at :perplexed
 
I'm almost positive he has some sort of skin condition. It was dark and bumpy and looked sort of hard like a protective shell :look:

Also, it went from his neck to disappear inside his shirt so there is no telling where it stops at :perplexed

:barf: I'd take a pass on that one.......

Edit: He might be an Adult Mutant Ninja Turtle. :grin:
 
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Ok ladies, I know I've asked about this dude before--but now I have another question.

Yes, we're still messaging back and forth- 5 to 6 messages a day. It has been 6 days.

I noticed that in the last several messages he did not ask me any questions--at all. I feel kinda funny about that. Thoughts?
 
Omg, :lachen::lachen::lachen: uhhhh let that one go.

:lachen: Now I feel bad. I didn't message him back so he sent me a message and apologized and said I didn't have to give it to him. He probably thinks I suspect he's a mega-creeper now. This can't be life. :lol:

EDIT: He's in training for helicopter maintenance in the national guard. I think that falls under engineering right? So I'm like :grin:. Why he actin so broke??
 
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Ok ladies, I know I've asked about this dude before--but now I have another question.

Yes, we're still messaging back and forth- 5 to 6 messages a day. It has been 6 days.

I noticed that in the last several messages he did not ask me any questions--at all. I feel kinda funny about that. Thoughts?

Did you answer a lot of questions/write all the personal essays in your profile? I find that when people do that it leaves very little room to ask you anything without looking dumb; it is all right there for them to read. I make my profile rather vague for this reason.

He might feel that by now he has enough of a gathering on who you are that theres no need to ask questions. I don't see that as a bad thing.
 
:lachen: Now I feel bad. I didn't message him back so he sent me a message and apologized and said I didn't have to give it to him. He probably thinks I suspect he's a mega-creeper now. This can't be life. :lol:

EDIT: He's in training for helicopter maintenance in the national guard. I think that falls under engineering right? So I'm like :grin:. Why he actin so broke??

because he probably is.:lachen: active duty dont make **** and guard makes even less.
 
I'm almost positive he has some sort of skin condition. It was dark and bumpy and looked sort of hard like a protective shell :look:

Also, it went from his neck to disappear inside his shirt so there is no telling where it stops at :perplexed

Oh hell no. Sounds like major keloid scarring.

Ok ladies, I know I've asked about this dude before--but now I have another question.

Yes, we're still messaging back and forth- 5 to 6 messages a day. It has been 6 days.

I noticed that in the last several messages he did not ask me any questions--at all. I feel kinda funny about that. Thoughts?

I'd either stop messaging and see what if he makes a move or tell him straight that you're not here for a pen pal. Either way I'd be put off.
 
because he probably is.:lachen: active duty dont make **** and guard makes even less.

Hey I thought I was making good money when I was active duty for training :lachen: when he gets released back to drilling status hell be broke but he has a great trade skill...
 
I went to Shabbat (traditional Jewish) dinner with the Jewish post-doc last night. I hadn't seen him in 2 weeks. Things turned out great! Never mind that it was 300 people there:eek: and I was the only Black person there, save for one of the servers. It was at the business school, and they had a few speakers: a rabbi and 2 super wealthy Jewish businessmen. It was surprising to see them connect their faith to so many things... LOTS of Jewish pride. Other than the old man who kept staring me down, other people just looked at me curiously and were very polite. There was an Asian girl at the table, so I felt like: phew, I'm not the only one!

There were some incredibly attractive men there:look: And I loved that right before the event started, they outright said that the room is full of young single people, and to make sure to mingle... ahem:lol:

We hung out for close to an hour after dinner, which was really nice. He likes me a lot... He even asked me out of the blue: "so, you're leaving this summer?" Even though I teased him about that a little, I secretly was really, really moved... Anyway, the night was great!
 
Ok I will start keeping up with this thread. I cant believe im really single.

Ok ive have been talking with a few guys from okc and pof.

One of the guys ask me to go dancing Thursday on Thursday. I told him it was to short of notice. He then peeceded to ask me to go Friday or Saturday and I let him know I had plans. I told him Sunday may work and I would let him know ASAP .

He text this tonight:

Him: Hi this is ###### from okc. I will be going to Open Word Christian ministries, 1111 Highway 92, xxxxxxxx, Georgia. Let's meet in the lobby at 9:45a.... you good with that?


Dude we talked about dancing and im not feeling how u throw this last minute planning at me... I dont even kniw if I will bother with a reply

Eta:

Me: How are you? My Sunday morning has already been planned. Thanks for invite.

He calls 10 min later. I was in shower so missed called.

He then text:

okay so talk to me you tryn to connect or what?




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Another dude sent me these messages back to back lol:

Him:
Hello babe
I am very true real, not materialistic, but do enjoy the finer things in life. One of my fundamental beliefs is how we treat one another. I am passionate about respect appreciation for other people. I am easily touched by the simplest of things. I love to laugh and love humor on all levels. I try and enjoy every minute of day. I am giving and forgiving person. I enjoy Traveling, Boating, Fishing, Picnics, Walks on the beach, Movies, Playing Pool, Motorcycling, Going out for Coffee, Lounging by the Beach next to each other watching the sunset, also enjoy Cooking and love it when the chore is share with my partner, and also treasure quiet moments at home. One of the most important things for me in a relationship is Loyalty, Honesty Sincerity. I am looking for someone that knows what they are looking for desire to make a real future with someone special. Someone as a Companion, Friend, Coach, Lover Mentor. Someone who i can gain strength from, just being with them, who's eye's i can look into and know that everything will be alright, someone i can trust and turn over my Heart to and will know be able t
o take care of it.What is your email address so we can chat more better.May God Bless You!!

XXXX
------------------------------------------------

Me: I not on this site much. Corresponding by email is a good idea. My email@@@@@@@@@@@
---------------------------------------------

His email the next day. I didnt either bothwr reading that book. Is he serious with all this copy and paste mess???



Hello Angel I am a family oriented man, who is romantic at heart, affectionate, a playful but also an analytical and careful person. I am quite goal-oriented about life. I admit that I am an idealistic person, and I dream of finding someone with whom I can share ideals about marriage and family...

I think of myself as a good communicator and love giving my best at everything, which includes how I treat my relationship with my woman. I am both serious and reflective, but jovial and light hearted too* I like to do things with the other significant person in my life,

but I also to encourage her to go out and spend time with friends and pursue her own interests and hobbies as well. I believe that time spent apart helps keep things fresh in a relationship and makes the time we do spend together even better.
I'm not one who cheats in a relationship one woman is enough trouble I don't have the time or energy to juggle 2, 3, or 4 at the same time - haha. But I also want to be in a relationship where I can totally trust the other person and not well on how the relationship is not working.

*I do not expect a woman to be a servant to me, spending all her time working and and cleaning I believe there is give and take in a relationship, and I realize that at times it's more convenient for me to do laundry, cook, clean, and I have no problem doing that.

I consider myself to be a fairly honest and truthful person and expect the same in return I'm not wealthy and don't expect someone to attempt to deceive me or "play" me. Everybody makes mistakes and I usually give people the benefit of the doubt,

but if the same pattern keeps emerging, it's over I do not want to meet someone who may think that they will take advantage of me, or lie to me and cheat on me under false pretenses. Sorry if that sounds harsh, and I'm not accusing anybody of any wrong doing,
*
but I'm being up front and honest about that, so you know where I stand from the beginning. With all due respect as well, I hope that you are up front and honest with me,

as well.. Well, I hope that this lets you know a little about me, and I hope I don't come across as being too cynical, harsh, or* eansounding. I will give anybody the benefit of the doubt (we're all human, we all make mistakes), but I also don't like being taken advantage of.

I'm just asking you to keep it real and be honest from the beginning that way, nobody is wasting her or her time or getting their feelings hurt. I also realize that at times two people are just too different to be in a relationship together;

it doesn't mean that it's anybody's fault, it's just that they're too different to be compatible depending on my state of mind. I am physically fit, health conscious, and a deep thinker, very honest and loyal to those closest to me. I am for the most part a responsible and organized person .

I enjoy conversational and philosophical people who have a strong sense of responsible I exercise and enjoy jogging, swimming and the outdoors to list a few things* but I am usually open for anything. I like my quiet time and peaceful surroundings at home, but I can be very social with people that I enjoy. I like to dine out or cook with friends and family* while chatting about anything. I also enjoy dancing.
*
*
My Christian faith is most important for me. I attend church and I try to keep my life well balanced and focused on what is most important, my love and need for God and the journey of my soulmate

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF
 
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I thought this dude was cute so I messaged him, now he's going on about how I'm so out of his league. He doesn't seem like a confident person but he might be useful...any thoughts? I'm starting to regret having messaged him... But he makes good conversation...maybe he's tryna 'spit game'? Another reply below:

---

That's awesome! So does that mean you can like track me and find out where I live? lol and if you say so, you're so damn beautiful, your eyes are stunning, your lips look so kissable, your hair coming over one eye makes you look so mysterious and seductive, and I bet you have an amazing body as well, I bet your inbox is overflowing and if it isn't then it's just cause they think the same thing as me, I don't have a chance with you

---

Should I be creeped out or flattered? I'm a little bit of both. Afterwards he shut up (thankfully) and says he wants to meet me sometime before he leaves back to his home state in may, but didn't give me an official invite. He doesn't even had my number yet. I'm trying not to be overly inviting and give the wrong impression. What's the best way to approach this? Obviously I'm interested cuz I messaged him but I don't wanna arrange something... he gotta come up w that on his own.
 
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I would be creeped out. All of that is unnecessary. I would tell him that I appreciate the compliments but they are too soon, too forward, and too heavy.
 
essay dude is still writing essays. :lol: i finally just asked him out because he wrote this super long thing & asked me a question that would involve a super long response and i'm just like, "ain't nobody have time for that".

:lol:

i will say i am intrigued, def interested in meeting/talking in person about the things we've discussed so far.

the other guy i was supposed to have plans with this weekend didn't contact me so w/e on that one. & i had my 2nd date w/ the guy i went out with last weekend. i'm feeling him :yep:
 
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