***Online Dating Support Thread***

Ok CarLiTa and InsertCleverNameHere

Thanks for the advice. I switched it up and now we're on a new page. Unfortunately, it's still a cyber page. Lol.

Me: Not build for cold, huh? Lol. Well,...[snipped]....Yes, the horrible government in Haiti is a conversation in itself.

So, what do you do to unwind while you're in.......?

Him: When not working which frankly isn't very often I enjoy exercise, dancing, travel, theater, playing/writing music/poems, playing/watching sports, bicycling, motorcycling, playing with my pets/hommies when I have them(they are with my parents until spring), swimming, hiking, camping, , listening to good music...if not playing my own not so good music.

What do you do for fun in MI?

How long have you had a profile on here? What have you found? How long have you been uninvolved?


Ok ladies here's where I always get into trouble. How much info is too much info? :perplexed It's his second set of questions that scare me, lol. Can someone give me a bit of guidance as to limitations I should adhere to????
 
I've had a profile on OKC since last May but kinda forgot about it...uploaded a pic just now. I always said I would never do online dating but here I am. I figure it cant hurt.
 
Yay!! Progress!!:yay:

But I have to be honest with you... I'm not sure how much room this guy has to act if you two are 200 miles apart. He can't easily take you out this weekend, and so far you guys seem to have been conversing regularly via messaging. So, I'm not sure what advice to give regarding that. It has the unfortunate potential of remaining online. A best by phone, which, if he wants to do, he needs to do ASAP.

Especially now that he's asking more personal questions. These are better suited for face to face or at minimum by phone (face to face still best). Grrr he needs to ask!:lol: why am I getting frustrated? I do like a little bit of assertiveness as a woman, but anything that involves asking first is uncharted territory for me, though I'd like to think I can "encourage" a guy to make the appropriate first move.

Meh. Maybe just respond to him (keeping it short) and say that you're brand new and getting a feel for it and that you like talking to him:)

As corny as it sounds lol, this is the last bit of encouragement I can think of. It suggests that you will say yes if he asks you:yep: If he doesn't do it then, forget him.
 
I just got back from an OKC first date actually. Guy is 29 and works in finance. He didn't have the almost-30 confidence I thought and expected him to have. In fact, if he told me he was 25 I would believe him. He is also not my type. I don't connect well with the all American white male from lily white suburban town who works in finance. He was really nice though. They always are... but while I enjoyed our conversation and actually flirted a lot lol ( I had 2glasses of wine before going), I wasn't particularly moved by much of what he said. I think he's definitely interested and might ask me again... might. I don't know whether to go out with him again or just forget it.

I also noticed that he has a great body, but I didn't like his face that much.
I have another first date tomorrow, which I am certain wont go anywhere, and another on Monday. Really looking forward to the Monday one and should probably reign in my expectations. The fact that I keep referring to him as "the cute teacher" already says something:lol: Simmer down, Carlita.
 
yuhlovevybz said:
Right??? I get a lot of messages but either they're perfect and can't hold a convo or they're not attractive. Makes me feel some kinda way :(
Click to expand...

What's perfect? Nice body?
 
yuhlovevybz said:
Similar interests to mine, doesn't come across as either cocky and doesn't have an autobiography in his profile....and is attractive as well. Height and size are two big things for me. I don't really like muscle heads.
Click to expand...


Oh ok. How come they can't make conversation? Do they message you first or vice versa?
 
yuhlovevybz said:
Right??? I get a lot of messages but either they're perfect and can't hold a convo or they're not attractive. Makes me feel some kinda way :(
Click to expand...

I'm 98% sure I'm having good luck because I'm not extremely concerned about looks. You just can't be short or hideous. I'm more concerned about $ and conversation. I want to be the hot one anyway and him to be the spending one.

Speaking of trends in messages, is anyone else getting a really disproportionate number of men that work in computers? I'm talking 8/10 men. Is it because I said I like nerds? :lol:
 
I also said I like nerds... yes, lots of computer geeks, scientists, and otherwise PhDs. That's probably part of the reason the finance guy didn't make the cut...

yuhlovevybz, that's happened to me too. There were 2 really cute guys I was talking to late last month who just stopped responding :ohwell: I'd messaged one first, and the other messaged me. I thought the one who messaged me was probably the most attractive guy who'd messaged me thus far:lol: But womp! Oh well. Maybe they got busy? Met someone in real life? the conversation wasn't to their liking once we started chatting? Who knows... but I sometimes flake out on conversations, too... I lose track and forget, and then I feel too awkward about picking the conversation back up. So many possible reasons.

I'm not sure how to avoid it, TBH. My roommate, who's had a relationship with someone from OKC before, said that she likes to get right to meeting. She's not a particularly assertive girl (and I don't think men expect her to be either... she's Asian...:look:) but she said that back when she used the website, she would regularly suggest that the guy meet her in person, and they were pleased to do so. I think some people aren't into conversing online for too long, and people's definitions on "too long" differ a lot:yep: So, some bail out sooner than others if nothing happens.
 
CarLiTa said:
I also said I like nerds... yes, lots of computer geeks, scientists, and otherwise PhDs. That's probably part of the reason the finance guy didn't make the cut...
Click to expand...

This is how my list looks as well...I'm really surprised at the number of men with advanced degrees. I'm glad I made the decision to throw the nerd word in there because I'm getting guys that would never approach me in real life and probably wouldn't online either.

I wouldn't have been able to deal with a finance personality either. Them and lawyers. That's the type that approaches me in real life and I HATE it! I just never see any real depth with them. The ones irl and on okcupid both take a "You're hot, I'm hot, Let's be hot together!" approach that is really not for me.
 
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lushcoils said:
What do you ladies think of the compatibility %? Is there a minimum number that you need to reply to them?
Click to expand...

I don't have anyone above 92% in my area. I went out with a 90% and he is freakishly like me. I couldn't even tell how similar we were until we went out. We have similar mannerisms and use similar word choice and voice inflections. I'm going out with him again, but it's very hard to get the hots for what is essentially myself.

I'm talking to a 50-something %-er right now that really has potential. Probably more than anyone I've spoken to so far. I hope we go out soon so I can get a better feel for him. He travels for work regularly which is great because I can't deal with someone in my face all the time :perplexed
 
I wad getting ready to post abt Financial guy from last night and just got a text from him that read: Hey! I had fun last night and you're really cute, yada yada.
He didn't ask for a 2nd date. Maybe he's rejecting me too lol. I'll respond and not suggest that I wanna get together.

It was the first time I was on a date and guy was asking me how often I workout, my favorite workout moves, my favorite muscles, my favorite muscles on men, my height requirements. Just. Lawd:lol:
 
I don't pay super close attention to the match percentage. I answer the questions fairly conservatively, and the guys with high matches are way too nerdy or not attractive lol. And I don't think I'm looking for someone with the exact same outlook I have on everything. That said, I look at the enemy percentage:look:
 
CarLiTa said:
Yay!! Progress!!:yay:

But I have to be honest with you... I'm not sure how much room this guy has to act if you two are 200 miles apart. He can't easily take you out this weekend, and so far you guys seem to have been conversing regularly via messaging. So, I'm not sure what advice to give regarding that. It has the unfortunate potential of remaining online. A best by phone, which, if he wants to do, he needs to do ASAP.

Especially now that he's asking more personal questions. These are better suited for face to face or at minimum by phone (face to face still best). Grrr he needs to ask!:lol: why am I getting frustrated? I do like a little bit of assertiveness as a woman, but anything that involves asking first is uncharted territory for me, though I'd like to think I can "encourage" a guy to make the appropriate first move.

Meh. Maybe just respond to him (keeping it short) and say that you're brand new and getting a feel for it and that you like talking to him:)

As corny as it sounds lol, this is the last bit of encouragement I can think of. It suggests that you will say yes if he asks you:yep: If he doesn't do it then, forget him.
Click to expand...

CarLiTa Girl, imagine how I feel! Ideally, I'd like to get to know him (via phone and skype), eventually meet him, and see each other intermittently until we move back to FL. But, that's just me thinking too far ahead. Heck, I haven't even heard his voice.

Oh, he told me he's only been on OKC for like 8 days. Maybe that has something to do with his approach? Wishful thinking on my part? Lol.



CarLiTa said:
I wad getting ready to post abt Financial guy from last night and just got a text from him that read: Hey! I had fun last night and you're really cute, yada yada.
He didn't ask for a 2nd date. Maybe he's rejecting me too lol. I'll respond and not suggest that I wanna get together.

It was the first time I was on a date and guy was asking me how often I workout, my favorite workout moves, my favorite muscles, my favorite muscles on men, my height requirements. Just. Lawd:lol:
Click to expand...

THIS. I was in a similar situation, and the guy even wanted to show me a few new exercises. :perplexed
 
Ill try to stop being so high maintenance. A guy who seemed really cool messaged me, but his nose was too big so I ignored him. I also ignore guys under 6 ft, guys who are chubby, and guys with facial hair or weird looking hair lines. I think I need to re evaluate myself lol!! I'm not the hottest thing on the block but I just don't wanna settle anymore. I want to want a guy from the get go, not just get w him cuz I'm lonely or bored, it never ends well.
 
Let Sookie down today about not meeting his kid. He hasn't written back :lol: I may have sounded like I was scolding him because I told him I wasn't even certain he knew my last name (he doesn't) :look:

I need to remember to ask him when his divorce was. The way he spoke about it I got the feeling it wasn't very long ago. I'm definitely going to cool a bit on him and see how he goes with it.
 
yuhlovevybz said:
Ill try to stop being so high maintenance. A guy who seemed really cool messaged me, but his nose was too big so I ignored him. I also ignore guys under 6 ft, guys who are chubby, and guys with facial hair or weird looking hair lines. I think I need to re evaluate myself lol!! I'm not the hottest thing on the block but I just don't wanna settle anymore. I want to want a guy from the get go, not just get w him cuz I'm lonely or bored, it never ends well.
Click to expand...

Pah, I tried dating someone I found unattractive. Turns out he had an unattractive personality, was tight with his money and a lot else wrong besides.

So...there was no point in me settling in the first place.

Never again.
 
lushcoils said:
What do you ladies think of the compatibility %? Is there a minimum number that you need to reply to them?
Click to expand...

anyone less than 70% tends to be....not on my level. :look:

unless they answered 2 questions. but usually i don't check b/c their initial message reveals how much we don't have in common either. :lol:
 
Ok...i posted this somewhere else....no response ....like an authority figure at work. First week i meet him, he tells me he needs a wife in conversation. HE IS FINE! EDUCATED and tall....so what's wrong with him or me....i even think i saw his profile online......fast toward...new girl st work .. He doesn't give me as much attention as he did......now im feeling disappointed

....
 
nc cutie said:
Ok...i posted this somewhere else....no response ....like an authority figure at work. First week i meet him, he tells me he needs a wife in conversation. HE IS FINE! EDUCATED and tall....so what's wrong with him or me....i even think i saw his profile online......fast toward...new girl st work .. He doesn't give me as much attention as he did......now im feeling disappointed

....
Click to expand...

Just move on....some people are natural flirts and love fresh meat....nothing wring with you at all.
 
nc cutie, he's your supervisor at work? That doesn't sound like anything worth pursuing:nono: That's really risky. And it sounds like flirting with new employees is something he might routinely do. Forget him.
 
Uploaded my pic at around midnight out of sheer boredom, got about 25 hits.

I'm new to this, so if y'all have any pointers shoot em my way.
 
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