***Online Dating Support Thread***

Shay72 said:
ITA. I would often talk to a guy the same day and would go on a date within the same week. The quicker you know the better. If he ain't the one, you can move on to the next one.[/QUOTE

I guess your right, i wasn't thinking of it like that.
I'm so paranoid. I was thinking i would chat on the dating site for a week, exchange emails, and then IM, and maybe after really getting to know the guy and feel comfortable with him after chatting and talking on the phone (was thinking that would take 3-4weeks :look:) then i would allow a meet and greet. no bueno? :nono:
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Kb3auty said:
ok, so i was spying on this thread while at work, and never heard of OKC until i got on here. you ladies inspired me to get my profile up on there and i am excited to see who is out there, i haven't dated in awhile.

So I started my profile two days ago. I got an email last night from this guy, he looks cute, and the site is saying we are 94% compatible. His first email:

"Hi, I just went through your profile and feel overwhelmed with your personality and thoughts. Do you mind if we give trial a chance in getting to know ourselves better? "

I answered: Hi,

overwhelmed? I'm sorry to hear that. How so? which parts overwhelm you? Yes, we can give it a try. I found some of your answers to those match questions interesting.

and his response is: "Thanks a million for this reply. I'm impressed with the way so answer these questions. This is what i have to rely on and believe knowing the kind of modest, kind and God fearing lady you should be. May be it will be better for us to chat live via msn, yahoo messenger or skype, only if this causes you no stress. Can't wait talk with you. Kind regards".

YIKES... I'm thinking isn't that a little too soon to Skype and exchange messenger info? should i be cautious, or am i over-exaggerating? i mean the dude just saw my profile, should we exchanging emails off of OKC for a little bit first?
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He seems nice. That is not too soon to Skype. It shows that he is legit ie not a catfish and he know what he wants.
 
Kb3auty said:
Shay72 said:
ITA. I would often talk to a guy the same day and would go on a date within the same week. The quicker you know the better. If he ain't the one, you can move on to the next one.[/QUOTE

I guess your right, i wasn't thinking of it like that.
I'm so paranoid. I was thinking i would chat on the dating site for a week, exchange emails, and then IM, and maybe after really getting to know the guy and feel comfortable with him after chatting and talking on the phone (was thinking that would take 3-4weeks :look:) then i would allow a meet and greet. no bueno? :nono:
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I learned my lesson on this one. I did talk to two guys for almost a month then went on the dates and they were awkward and there was no chemistry. Waste of time. I could have found that out a lot earlier. So after that I made it clear in my profile and in conversations that I wanted to meet within 1-2 weeks.
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I'm new to online dating but I started a profile on Match.com and got winks and e-mails immediately but not from anyone I was interested in. I actually thought about giving up on it but I was going through the matches they're always sending and I saw someone whose profile I really liked. He's not bad looking either lol.:look: It's the first time in a loooooong time I've felt a desire to talk to/get to know someone, even if nothing comes of it.:yep:
 
Hi everyone! :wave:

Is match.com a site worth paying the subscription fee for? I decided to create a profile and received an email that states that I got an email, but I can't view it :(
 
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outspokenwallflower said:
Hi everyone! :wave:

Is match.com a site worth paying the subscription fee for? I decided to create a profile and received an email that states that I got an email, but I can't view it :(
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That's what I'm trying to decide lol. I've gotten a couple e-mails and I've seen someone I'm interested in getting to know (see above post) but I'm not sure I want to pay the money.:ohwell: I'm leaning towards paying it though.
 
outspokenwallflower said:
Hi everyone! :wave:

Is match.com a site worth paying the subscription fee for? I decided to create a profile and received an email that states that I got an email, but I can't view it :(
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I didnt like it, I subscribed 2yrs ago. I met one person and he was up over his head acting like he was born to be worshipped, he was a director of operations for a top company. that one did not last, I was not putting up with him. Spoke to two of them on the phone, one guy lasted a month and then his cray self came out from hiding, he got mad at me one time (which I made sure was the last time I picked up his calls) for not picking up his call all day, big woop, im too busy to be on the phone daily and im not answering to no one. So he found out real quick that this sweet girl, can turn hood in 2.5 secs. Lol! I had to get out of my skin which I hardly.ever do. He was fresh and needed to be told. The last guy I spoke to on there lived with his baby mama and had 2 kids with one and 2others with the one he lived with. When I asked him why he was on a dating site, and posing single. He said he was looking for the right situation then he would leave the second baby mama, ie: he's looking for someone to live off of since that woman was no longer putting up with his bs. im fresh, so I told him just that and was done with that one. Maybe Its a combo of not giving it enough time and not having the time to be active on there. the guys that emailed, winked and wanted to communicate weren't my type. But all three was within 6months. I literally logged on there 2-5times during my subscription. ive had people tell me they liked it and met someone, I had subscribed because a friend met her SO on there. I think it depends on the person.
 
Soooo I was encouraged to try okcupid. I've never tried online dating before, but I thought I was ready to get out in the world, meet people, date.

Dating has always been a bit overwhelming to me, but I figured online would be better for a shy person such as myself.

Well, it's only been 3 days and I'm already completely overwhelmed. I don't know what to say to all these guys :lol: I've been on nary a date yet and I'm already stressed out. I don't see how you ladies do it!
 
This guy reeks of laziness. First he asks me what I am doing this weekend. I say writing and cleaning. So he asks if we could hang out Friday or this weekend. I tell him that this weekend is fine with me. Then he gives me his number and says, " I am good so it is pretty much up to you."

Did you not ask me out? Where are your plans? I will tell him that I am fine with Saturday doing something. We will see if he will make some plans.
 
Keshieshimmer said:
This guy reeks of laziness. First he asks me what I am doing this weekend. I say writing and cleaning. So he asks if we could hang out Friday or this weekend. I tell him that this weekend is fine with me. Then he gives me his number and says, " I am good so it is pretty much up to you."

Did you not ask me out? Where are your plans? I will tell him that I am fine with Saturday doing something. We will see if he will make some plans.
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I'm finding that most dudes are like this these days......:nono:
 
crlsweetie912 said:
I'm finding that most dudes are like this these days......:nono:
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ok so this guy isn't that lame. I told him Sat and now he says it is a surprise. haha. He asked if I like things that were outdoorsy. He must have forgotten the part on my profile where I say that I am not an outdoorsy person.
 
Keshieshimmer said:
ok so this guy isn't that lame. I told him Sat and now he says it is a surprise. haha. He asked if I like things that were outdoorsy. He must have forgotten the part on my profile where I say that I am not an outdoorsy person.
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BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!! Like the dude who asked me out for coffee, but then said I don't drink coffee and I don't drink coffee either...LOL!!!!
 
He wants to go to the zoo, which would not be so bad if it weren't supposed to be a mix of rain and snow showers for part of the day and COLD as heck for the rest (30sF).
 
CarLiTa said:
InsertCleverNameHere, how is it going? Have you gotten into it since your post?
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It's going well! Still a bit overwhelming, but I had one date Monday, one coming up today, and three possibles for next week.

The guy from Monday asked me out for a second date and I might I dunno.

He was a 90% match and as nice and cool as he was, it was a bit like talking to myself...not even the male version of myself, but just myself. We'd be great friends, but I dunno about dating a replicant.

I read that 90% isn't even super high and some people have 99% matches, but none of mine are that high even when I searched the entire country. I couldn't imagine what dating one of those would be like.
 
Back on POF...........none of the good looking guys message me.
I'm not bothering with paid sites. I wasted a lot of money last time round.
 
I need some help here with what to reply. This guy is kind of annoying personality wise and part of me just wants to put him in place. He is much older, 37. On his profile it says he likes to "nice dinners, enjoy the nite life, and spoil a little." I want to see how much he wants to spoil :look:. Oh and if this dude says awww one more time :spinning:

Him: u have such a pretty an kind of exotic look...u seem nice but not stuck up


Me: ...thanks I guess

Him: awww yea i meant it as a compliment, how long have u been on this site, how do u like it?

Me: it sounded like a back handed compliment. try to be clearer next time. started this site this year and its ok. interesting people. what about you?

Him: aww im sorry, trust me i mean it as a compliment. well let me be more clear, i really like ur profile what i read and definately what i see, hav u dated latino men?

Me: Yes why?

Him: awww so u have dated latino men, ok that means u have great taste, lol... i want to talk to u, i know im being forward but yea i want to talk to u
 
So this guy I have been praying to message me for months just added me to his Favourite list. I thought it was lame but said heck, i'll send him a message saying thank you.

He replied straight away. He said he saw me in the area I work in and we walked passed each other and our eyes locked. He said he recognised me from POF but didn't know how to approach me. I don't remember this but all I know is, if I lock eyes on someone in the street in means they are as fine as hell.

Lets see how this goes..........
 
ScorpioLove said:
I need some help here with what to reply. This guy is kind of annoying personality wise and part of me just wants to put him in place. He is much older, 37. On his profile it says he likes to "nice dinners, enjoy the nite life, and spoil a little." I want to see how much he wants to spoil :look:. Oh and if this dude says awww one more time :spinning:

Him: u have such a pretty an kind of exotic look...u seem nice but not stuck up


Me: ...thanks I guess

Him: awww yea i meant it as a compliment, how long have u been on this site, how do u like it?

Me: it sounded like a back handed compliment. try to be clearer next time. started this site this year and its ok. interesting people. what about you?

Him: aww im sorry, trust me i mean it as a compliment. well let me be more clear, i really like ur profile what i read and definately what i see, hav u dated latino men?

Me: Yes why?

Him: awww so u have dated latino men, ok that means u have great taste, lol... i want to talk to u, i know im being forward but yea i want to talk to u
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I don't find his replies annoying. i would carry on having a convo. You're not going to know how much he wants to spoil until you meet him and get to know him a little in person.
 
ScorpioLove said:
I need some help here with what to reply. This guy is kind of annoying personality wise and part of me just wants to put him in place. He is much older, 37. On his profile it says he likes to "nice dinners, enjoy the nite life, and spoil a little." I want to see how much he wants to spoil :look:. Oh and if this dude says awww one more time :spinning:

Him: u have such a pretty an kind of exotic look...u seem nice but not stuck up


Me: ...thanks I guess

Him: awww yea i meant it as a compliment, how long have u been on this site, how do u like it?

Me: it sounded like a back handed compliment. try to be clearer next time. started this site this year and its ok. interesting people. what about you?

Him: aww im sorry, trust me i mean it as a compliment. well let me be more clear, i really like ur profile what i read and definately what i see, hav u dated latino men?

Me: Yes why?

Him: awww so u have dated latino men, ok that means u have great taste, lol... i want to talk to u, i know im being forward but yea i want to talk to u
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He has so many red flags to me.
 
ScorpioLove said:
like? he seems kind of narcissistic to me but i think that's all
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37 and he....
-can't spell
-still types in text language continously
-uses cliche statements on her profile
-sends her first message about her looks and nothing about her profile
-mentions liking her exoticalness though some exoticals may like when guys do this with first contact
-asks if she dates Latino men. Really how old are we now? Just have a conversation and if she likes you, she likes you. And still has yet to ask her about herself.
 
lushcoils said:
37 and he....
-can't spell
-still types in text language continously
-uses cliche statements on her profile
-sends her first message about her looks and nothing about her profile
-mentions liking her exoticalness though some exoticals may like when guys do this with first contact
-asks if she dates Latino men. Really how old are we now? Just have a conversation and if she likes you, she likes you. And still has yet to ask her about herself.
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Ditto. I would stop responding. Ain't nothing worthwhile there:look:
 
lushcoils said:
37 and he....
-can't spell
-still types in text language continously
-uses cliche statements on her profile
-sends her first message about her looks and nothing about her profile
-mentions liking her exoticalness though some exoticals may like when guys do this with first contact
-asks if she dates Latino men. Really how old are we now? Just have a conversation and if she likes you, she likes you. And still has yet to ask her about herself.
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Really? I think you're over analyzing. Who cares about the text language? Is this "unprofessional"? She/he is not at work. I'm 40 years old and I type in text language alot because I text alot. Even as a supervisor I text my staff (college students and high school students) because it is easier to access them this way. All to say text language does not signify status, maturity or intelligence.

The exoticalness does bother me.

I don't see an issue with him asking if she has dated a Latino man before.It's a simple question.

I think her saying "that sounded like a back handed compliment be clearer" was a bit much. Why assume negative intent?

Some of ya'll gonna analyze yourself out of finding a decent man. Online dating should be about having fun. If you meet a keeper along the way that's even better. When I stopped pressuring myself is when I met my BF.
 
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Well, from reading many of the posts in this thread/forum, many could afford to be a bit more analytical.

We all have different standards. If responding to "ay ma, u lOoking kinda gud. Iz u mixxed? do you like your men vanilla or spicy?" type of messages sounds like a fun time to you, well, hey, do you!
 
Went on a date last night. We hit up a kid's restaurant :lol: and then went to an author talk and book signing. He was very nice and asked me out again. I'm going to breakfast with him tomorrow and the first guy I went out with, we are going out the Monday after next. Not sure to what, but he said he wants to plan something cool.

I'm going to try to fit in 2 more dates with some new guys as well next week if I don't fall out from exhaustion.


ScorpioLove I know I'm new to this :look: but I wouldn't have wrote him back in the first place. There is nothing about his first message that made him worth the time to type back. He said one sideeye-able statement and one generic statement, nothing to signify he actually even read your profile.
 
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