***Online Dating Support Thread***

I was the #2 poster in this thread back in 2010 and wrote the post below. :yawn: Time sure does fly. The guy I referenced proposed last week!!! :grin: Who knew? There aren't all crazies on the innerwebs :lol:


LovelyNaps26 said:
I am in the very early stages of communicating with someone I met through an online dating service. In the case of long distance it seem that a month seems about right for the amount of time you might want to wait before meeting. If you communicate with someone for a month and have little desire to meet them then you might want to re-evaluate the potential of the relationship. I imagine that in situation where distance isn't a factor at most two weeks or consistent calls/emails should be enough before you sense if the person is a prospect/ not insane. :lol:

I'd also recommend doing some background check work. I do this early on. It could be as simple as searching for the person in Google or Facebook. Knowing that the person's name shows up somewhere and that you may actually be able to verify his photo is helpful. You can also pay for online background check services for things like criminal record and address. General information about address may show up which is helpful b/c you can validate that the person actually lives where he says he does.

It may seem OCD but there are some crazies and in order for you to move ahead in the relationship you need to at least trust that basic aspects of the person are true.
Click to expand...
 
LovelyNaps26

Aw Congrats!!! You are right, not all of the guys are crazy! I met my boo online too. I see great things in the future for us. I am very happy for you!!!!
 
Lmao! I was looking at okcupid profiles today. One guy said in his profile that he's never dated AA women and doesn't plan to start. Lol!!! It was just crazy bc he had a big rant about it. He's a black guy, dark skinned. He saw that I looked at his profile and he immediately wrote me an email. He thinks I'm so pretty and wants to know if I'm single bc he wants to get to know me yada yada yada....

Pretty for a black girl, right??? Lol.... Moron!
 
Off the recs of someone I met from here yesterday I went and looked at CL. Lord I am seeing some stuff that makes me clutch my pearls. Truly a ham.
 
Made an account but I need to update it. I havent even put a pic up.

Saw a recent pic on FB of a guy I was crazy about years ago. I ended up turning him down cuz he actually skeeved me out when we got back in contact over the years. Yeah, he married the chick he got with after I turned him down and put on about 60 lbs and an 2nd chin.:nono::nono::nono: He used to be attractive and in shape 6ft blue eyes and all. He looks like he got hit by a truckload of diseased lard now, dude literally went from an 8 to a 2 on a good day.

I dodged a HUGE (figuratively and literally) bullet.

:lachen::lachen:

I dont even know why its so funny to me but it is. He looks shot now.
 
Sigh...im not gonna sit here and exchange 25 to 30 messages with you and you asking me things that should be discussed by phone or in person.

Sent from my Sprint HTC EVO using LHCF
 
I just got back on OkC. My type is really on that site.

DreamLife I answered 301, but not all at once, I've been bored! This is the third day I've been on and I've received a lot of stupid messages, but a lot of good ones. The only thing I don't like..and I feel slightly bad about it is that I do NOT like short guys. I like guys who are at least 6 feet, so if I'm searching profiles and/or sending out messages it's those guys. But when I get really nice messages where they actually read my profile, I respond but then it's like crap! How tall are they? Meh...I know I'm picky. I have a date tomorrow. And all of the guys I messaged, messaged me back, so yay!
 
Suppose to have a chat from the only decent dude from bpm. His typos annoy me and make me feel like he will sound silly. It could be my pms that has me like not the most nicest lady. I will see if he calls. He did get a gold star for asking me for my number. I don't know where men get off throwing their number out like a whoosy loser. I just can't.
 
So I was browsing profiles yesterday.

I noticed a lot of non black guys (actually saw a few black guys too) stated in their preferences no BW. I can say with utmost confidence that 89% of these guys would get no play from any woman. One of these ****as had teeth missing. Most were overweight, some were bald. One had on a ratty tshirt and flip flops looking like cousin Jed. I'm not going to be messy and post the profiles, just take my word.

I did see one profile that had me :lachen:. He was only looking for sistas. He looked like Jackie Chan's hippie paw paw. His profile read like a Barry White song. He's looking for a tenderooni. Will one of y'all like to make his wish come true?
 
CheLala13 said:
WhoIAm which site are you browsing? I've honestly never seen a profile where they state any racial preference.
Click to expand...

I personally have seen *so many* that have said no black women. It used to make me sad.
Now I don't care... Preference is preference.

When I was looking at New York profiles, this came up a lot! So it really depends on the state
 
metro_qt said:
I personally have seen *so many* that have said no black women. It used to make me sad.
Now I don't care... Preference is preference.

When I was looking at New York profiles, this came up a lot! So it really depends on the state
Click to expand...

I've seen it a lot here too in Cali. They aren't usually so brash but tend to say "prefer Asian, Latina or white". We are mysteriously left out of the equation. Whatever.
 
Match.com and Chemistry.com both have an area where you check off the races you are interested in. I used to see that all the time. I'm over it. Majority of folks don't care.
On OKC they don't have that, but people can answer that question about whether they prefer to date someone of their own race. Of course this won't identify those non-blacks who are open to SOME other races but not black. *shrug* That's an advantage of letting guys message me first. Don't have to wonder and guess.
Probably half to 60% of the messages I get on OKC are from non-blacks.
 
CheLala13 said:
@WhoIAm which site are you browsing? I've honestly never seen a profile where they state any racial preference.
Click to expand...

Yesterday it was CL. But I've seen it on OKC, POF. Match was very subtle. They'd mention every thing caucasian, asian, latino, native american, arabic, jewish except black. Even the black men.
 
WhoIAm said:
So I was browsing profiles yesterday.

I noticed a lot of non black guys (actually saw a few black guys too) stated in their preferences no BW. I can say with utmost confidence that 89% of these guys would get no play from any woman. One of these ****as had teeth missing. Most were overweight, some were bald. One had on a ratty tshirt and flip flops looking like cousin Jed. I'm not going to be messy and post the profiles, just take my word.

I did see one profile that had me :lachen:. He was only looking for sistas. He looked like Jackie Chan's hippie paw paw. His profile read like a Barry White song. He's looking for a tenderooni. Will one of y'all like to make his wish come true?
Click to expand...

I believe the bolded haha

Oh honey, prepare to laugh when these same men ask you for a date. My rule is to not even message guys back who state they only like white gals. However, I did let one set up a coffee date and asked him politely to clarify his preference just for my amusement.
His reply: "yeahhhhh ummm sorry, I have no preference actually :grin:"
He has asked me out on 2 dates this week. Is he getting lax on his Mrs. Right wish list or was I the game changer? Probably the former...:spinning:
 
ok, so i was spying on this thread while at work, and never heard of OKC until i got on here. you ladies inspired me to get my profile up on there and i am excited to see who is out there, i haven't dated in awhile.

So I started my profile two days ago. I got an email last night from this guy, he looks cute, and the site is saying we are 94% compatible. His first email:

"Hi, I just went through your profile and feel overwhelmed with your personality and thoughts. Do you mind if we give trial a chance in getting to know ourselves better? "

I answered: Hi,

overwhelmed? I'm sorry to hear that. How so? which parts overwhelm you? Yes, we can give it a try. I found some of your answers to those match questions interesting.

and his response is: "Thanks a million for this reply. I'm impressed with the way so answer these questions. This is what i have to rely on and believe knowing the kind of modest, kind and God fearing lady you should be. May be it will be better for us to chat live via msn, yahoo messenger or skype, only if this causes you no stress. Can't wait talk with you. Kind regards".

YIKES... I'm thinking isn't that a little too soon to Skype and exchange messenger info? should i be cautious, or am i over-exaggerating? i mean the dude just saw my profile, should we exchanging emails off of OKC for a little bit first?
 
WhoIAm said:
So I was browsing profiles yesterday.
One had on a ratty tshirt and flip flops looking like cousin Jed. I'm not going to be messy and post the profiles, just take my word.

I did see one profile that had me :lachen:. He was only looking for sistas. He looked like Jackie Chan's hippie paw paw. His profile read like a Barry White song. He's looking for a tenderooni. Will one of y'all like to make his wish come true?
Click to expand...


ROFL!!!!:lachen:
 
Kb3auty said:
ok, so i was spying on this thread while at work, and never heard of OKC until i got on here. you ladies inspired me to get my profile up on there and i am excited to see who is out there, i haven't dated in awhile.

So I started my profile two days ago. I got an email last night from this guy, he looks cute, and the site is saying we are 94% compatible. His first email:

"Hi, I just went through your profile and feel overwhelmed with your personality and thoughts. Do you mind if we give trial a chance in getting to know ourselves better? "

I answered: Hi,

overwhelmed? I'm sorry to hear that. How so? which parts overwhelm you? Yes, we can give it a try. I found some of your answers to those match questions interesting.

and his response is: "Thanks a million for this reply. I'm impressed with the way so answer these questions. This is what i have to rely on and believe knowing the kind of modest, kind and God fearing lady you should be. May be it will be better for us to chat live via msn, yahoo messenger or skype, only if this causes you no stress. Can't wait talk with you. Kind regards".

YIKES... I'm thinking isn't that a little too soon to Skype and exchange messenger info? should i be cautious, or am i over-exaggerating? i mean the dude just saw my profile, should we exchanging emails off of OKC for a little bit first?
Click to expand...

Not IMO. You are there to meet someone and it's only Skype. If you're 94% matched, chances are he thinks somewhat like you and doesn't want to waste time emailing on OKC. Also he probably wants to know if you're really a woman and not a man. I hear they get duped this way often lol :nono:
 
Lenee925 said:
Not IMO. You are there to meet someone and it's only Skype. If you're 94% matched, chances are he thinks somewhat like you and doesn't want to waste time emailing on OKC. Also he probably wants to know if you're really a woman and not a man. I hear they get duped this way often lol :nono:
Click to expand...
ITA. I would often talk to a guy the same day and would go on a date within the same week. The quicker you know the better. If he ain't the one, you can move on to the next one.
 
LovelyNaps26 said:
I was the #2 poster in this thread back in 2010 and wrote the post below. :yawn: Time sure does fly. The guy I referenced proposed last week!!! :grin: Who knew? There aren't all crazies on the innerwebs :lol:
Click to expand...


yaaay... i'm so happy for you. congrats!!! so, did you say yes?
 
Lenee925 said:
Not IMO. You are there to meet someone and it's only Skype. If you're 94% matched, chances are he thinks somewhat like you and doesn't want to waste time emailing on OKC. Also he probably wants to know if you're really a woman and not a man. I hear they get duped this way often lol :nono:
Click to expand...

your right, it's only Skype (hyperventilating).
I never thought about people getting duped, gees i guess i got to look out for that too, another thing to worry about in the cyber world.

OMG, that just reminded me of this guy that randomly emailed me two years ago on facebook, he was a friend of a friend. After several email conversations, and pokes back and forth, he asked for my number. Mind you off the bat he has a great body, six pack and everything. he looked good! HOLD UP... when i picked up the phone, the man sounded like a he/she. his voice was straight up high pitch, female tone. hahahahaha, what a turn off! and he was in town the following week and wanted to meet, i was so all set.
 
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