***Online Dating Support Thread***
- Thread starter JollyGal
- Start date
HauteHippie
Well-Known Member
So, the guy I could really, really see myself being with freaked himself out and closed our door "softly". He couldn't actually give me a reason for why he thought we wouldn't make it. He said he liked me a lot, wasn't seeing anyone else, didn't want to be with anyone else, things between us were right, we were compatible, getting close, blah, blah, blah, headed towards a relationship and we should stop now before "it" becomes a problem. We talked for an hour, I asked what "it" was. He didn't know. Maybe we should just take a break. He's definitely open to dating me in the future.
Okay... a week went by and I asked if he had any clarity on what the "it" was and a few other things. I emailed him so he wouldn't feel any pressure and the email was about 3 paragraphs long.
His response? Would I like to meet up for coffee after work? He has some things of mine he could give back and it'd give us time to chat.
Yeah, no.
Okay... a week went by and I asked if he had any clarity on what the "it" was and a few other things. I emailed him so he wouldn't feel any pressure and the email was about 3 paragraphs long.
His response? Would I like to meet up for coffee after work? He has some things of mine he could give back and it'd give us time to chat.
Yeah, no.
HauteHippie
Well-Known Member
^^^^
B/c the last thing he said was that he wanted to maybe be friends/date later or take a break/date again. I wasn't sure if I was open to either and whether or not I was open depended on his answer to what the issue was. My paragraphs are generally short.
I think it was timing/he freaked himself out by applying undue pressure, but whatever. If he was just some guy or one of many, I wouldn't have bothered, but I haven't connected with someone like that for years.
Either way, it doesn't even matter. That door is closed and I'm not opening it until I'm completely over him. In the meantime, date tonight.
B/c the last thing he said was that he wanted to maybe be friends/date later or take a break/date again. I wasn't sure if I was open to either and whether or not I was open depended on his answer to what the issue was. My paragraphs are generally short.
I think it was timing/he freaked himself out by applying undue pressure, but whatever. If he was just some guy or one of many, I wouldn't have bothered, but I haven't connected with someone like that for years.
Either way, it doesn't even matter. That door is closed and I'm not opening it until I'm completely over him. In the meantime, date tonight.
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
yea i thought she was in her late 20s too. I'm 28 and i'm on POF...and i only came across 2 guys with kids. the rest who contacted me have no children. and these are all black men. perhaps its the location.
even IRL....i NEVER meet guys with kids. i can't even remember the last guy i met with kids
.
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
HauteHippie said:
Ugh. Sorry HauteHippie. Imho he pretty much quoted the commitment phobe's script. Its good you can move on so easily. He won't be ready for years from the sounds of it. His loss!
MuziqizLyfe
Well-Known Member
So I narrowed the field to 2 guys that were very similar, well after 3 weeks of talking, I finally met the second guy in person and 
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
...........
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MzLady78
Well-Known Member
yea i thought she was in her late 20s too. I'm 28 and i'm on POF...and i only came across 2 guys with kids. the rest who contacted me have no children. and these are all black men. perhaps its the location.
even IRL....i NEVER meet guys with kids. i can't even remember the last guy i met with kids
When I filter by no kids on POF, a s***load of guys show up. I'm like where are y'all hiding because I couldn't find a man with no kids out on on the street if my life depended on it.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
It's definitely possible.
I'm really not feeling the quality of guys on POF anyway. And not to be mean, but a lot of them are facially challenged.
Carolie
Active Member
After debating it, I decided to reactivate my OKC about after disabling it back when I started dating a friend of mine from high school (about 10 months ago). We weren't together long but I never bothered to go back on there, mainly because I'm lazy lol.
I think it's the town I live in now... but I have had no luck at all. It's either dudes old enough to be my dad, that are totes unattractive (I'm def not superficial but you have to be somewhat nice to look at) or can't spell or hold a conversation for anything. (=___=)
I'll stick with it for now, but if there's no progress by the week's end, I'll probably deactivate it again. :/
I think it's the town I live in now... but I have had no luck at all. It's either dudes old enough to be my dad, that are totes unattractive (I'm def not superficial but you have to be somewhat nice to look at) or can't spell or hold a conversation for anything. (=___=)
I'll stick with it for now, but if there's no progress by the week's end, I'll probably deactivate it again. :/
Sosoothing
Well-Known Member
GoddessMaker, have you just started trying to meet people? Im only asking because I think if you have been trying to date for a while, you would have realized that decent men with no children aren't in short suppy, especially if you are open to other races as well.
I live in Dallas and Im generally happy with the men I meet. I have been online dating for a long time. I don't exclusively online date though, I meet men when Im out and about too, many again, with no children.
So I would say don't date a man with kids just because you think you have no choice, date a man with kids because you are completely ok with it
. Good luck.
I live in Dallas and Im generally happy with the men I meet. I have been online dating for a long time. I don't exclusively online date though, I meet men when Im out and about too, many again, with no children.
So I would say don't date a man with kids just because you think you have no choice, date a man with kids because you are completely ok with it
. Good luck.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
Sosoothing I wish I knew where to meet dudes. I have suspicious feeling as to why it seems I don't get alot of play online which then leaves the door open to guys with kids. I normally don't get responses from other races even though I'm open to it. Hopefully soon I will figure out some spots that have nice men in it because Arlington where I am isn't hitting it.
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
It's definitely possible.
I'm really not feeling the quality of guys on POF anyway. And not to be mean, but a lot of them are facially challenged.
MzLady78
I'm actually quite shocked at the eye candy for new york on POF
doesn't mean they are good catches...and from my experience they arent....but just for looks.
kismettt
Well-Known Member
second date was fun/longish? lol. we met at the museum & it was a letdown. he was like "...i didn't realize there would be nothing here". igss it just opened but it was odd. so we got ice cream, then went to a bookstore, & then got coffee (i think bookstores are such a great date, but i'm a huge reader/nerd so there's that).
he was sweet and def initiating physical contact (putting his arm around me, moving closer, etc), clearly into me. he's pretty cute (def not my usual type physically). i said we should roller blade next time and he was into it! (vs my crush who was making excuses. baby)
so my big thing with men is connecting on an intellectual level (either having similar interests or being able to learn from him), and i'm not entirely sure we do (his masters is in public admin and he's interested in the environment/has a lot of nonprofit experience). so i'm still checking for that. i don't think he's really into the things i'm into that i can tell (racism, classism, sexism, etc), aware but not particularly interested. but just being able to share ideas, debate/discuss, etc is huge to me. time will tell like everything.
igss it just opened but it was odd. so we got ice cream, then went to a bookstore, & then got coffee (i think bookstores are such a great date, but i'm a huge reader/nerd so there's that). he was sweet and def initiating physical contact (putting his arm around me, moving closer, etc), clearly into me. he's pretty cute (def not my usual type physically). i said we should roller blade next time and he was into it! (vs my crush who was making excuses. baby)
so my big thing with men is connecting on an intellectual level (either having similar interests or being able to learn from him), and i'm not entirely sure we do (his masters is in public admin and he's interested in the environment/has a lot of nonprofit experience). so i'm still checking for that. i don't think he's really into the things i'm into that i can tell (racism, classism, sexism, etc), aware but not particularly interested. but just being able to share ideas, debate/discuss, etc is huge to me. time will tell like everything.
mallysmommy
Well-Known Member
Remember the principal?
Today:
Him: Hey how have you been? ......Wyd?
Me:..........
...................
.....
Who is this?
Him: *insert name* remember me? we met on pof.
Me:
oh so you're alive?
Him: yeah. i want to see you boo?
Me: (wtf?) Almost a month later? LMBO! Naw I'm good.
Now i should have ended the convo there but i was sharing with a friend and she encouraged me to entertain him to see how far it would go.
Him: been busy working....So you don't wanna see me?
Me: Dude we had plans to meet up to go bowl a month ago. you never called or responded to my message. so no i don't want to see you and you can go ahead and stop contacting me as well, please and thank you.
Him: I was working a basketball camp. why are you tripping?
Me: then the polite thing to do was call and cancel then reschedule. Not stand me up, then try to email me a month later talking about you want to see me.
Him: you're right. I apologize.
me: *no response*
Him: do you accept?
________________________
someone tell me what is wrong with the men that i seem to always attract? it never fails. i was really feeling this guy when we first started messaging each other. he asked me out, he picked the date and time. come that day i didn't hear from him. i messaged him to see if we were still on but got no response from him. Now he comes damn near a month later, talking about he had to work that night and he wants to see me? smh
i know people don't like the blackgirlsareeasy website but i read this and it fit perfectly with what happened to me today.
The Douche Bag Returns
A man will stop talking to you cold, return your text messages three weeks later, and never say why he stopped talking to you. The funny thing is, a lot of chicks will take him back with little fuss. Don’t fall for that trap and roll out the welcome mat. You want to talk about thirsty? Taking a guy back after he blatantly ignored you makes you look weak and hella parched. The beef he had with you that made him stop calling hasn’t disappeared, he didn’t need time think or a family member to take care of, he is gaming you. A man who truly cares always makes time to call his girl, it doesn’t matter if the world is collapsing, his phone’s dead, and his fingers are cut off, he will use his tongue to dial her number on a dirty *** payphone. The real reason he’s back is probably because he got bored with his new chick or had time to realize, “damn I really left pussy on the table because she got on my nerves? Let me circle back and at least hit“. Either way, he still has problems with you, so unless his excuse is “I was in a coma, here is the hospital footage and a doctor’s note“, don’t run back into his arms. If a guy ran out on you once, trust me, he won’t have a problem doing it again.
Today:
Him: Hey how have you been? ......Wyd?
Me:..........
...................
.....
Who is this?Him: *insert name* remember me? we met on pof.
Me:
oh so you're alive?Him: yeah. i want to see you boo?
Me: (wtf?) Almost a month later? LMBO! Naw I'm good.
Now i should have ended the convo there but i was sharing with a friend and she encouraged me to entertain him to see how far it would go.
Him: been busy working....So you don't wanna see me?
Me: Dude we had plans to meet up to go bowl a month ago. you never called or responded to my message. so no i don't want to see you and you can go ahead and stop contacting me as well, please and thank you.
Him: I was working a basketball camp. why are you tripping?
Me: then the polite thing to do was call and cancel then reschedule. Not stand me up, then try to email me a month later talking about you want to see me.
Him: you're right. I apologize.
me: *no response*
Him: do you accept?
________________________
someone tell me what is wrong with the men that i seem to always attract? it never fails. i was really feeling this guy when we first started messaging each other. he asked me out, he picked the date and time. come that day i didn't hear from him. i messaged him to see if we were still on but got no response from him. Now he comes damn near a month later, talking about he had to work that night and he wants to see me? smhi know people don't like the blackgirlsareeasy website but i read this and it fit perfectly with what happened to me today.
The Douche Bag Returns
A man will stop talking to you cold, return your text messages three weeks later, and never say why he stopped talking to you. The funny thing is, a lot of chicks will take him back with little fuss. Don’t fall for that trap and roll out the welcome mat. You want to talk about thirsty? Taking a guy back after he blatantly ignored you makes you look weak and hella parched. The beef he had with you that made him stop calling hasn’t disappeared, he didn’t need time think or a family member to take care of, he is gaming you. A man who truly cares always makes time to call his girl, it doesn’t matter if the world is collapsing, his phone’s dead, and his fingers are cut off, he will use his tongue to dial her number on a dirty *** payphone. The real reason he’s back is probably because he got bored with his new chick or had time to realize, “damn I really left pussy on the table because she got on my nerves? Let me circle back and at least hit“. Either way, he still has problems with you, so unless his excuse is “I was in a coma, here is the hospital footage and a doctor’s note“, don’t run back into his arms. If a guy ran out on you once, trust me, he won’t have a problem doing it again.
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
^Im mad that you have that full on convo. forgive me my arse. Please dont listen to your friends again
btw the site isnt bad, just why does the owner have such a crass title. It's annoying
btw the site isnt bad, just why does the owner have such a crass title. It's annoying
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crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
Totally did the opposite of what I normally would do. Messaged him first.....turns out we have so much in common. We had awesome conversation so far. We'll see how this pans out.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
Moved on from the weekend guy because he thought I would jump through hoops to please. He said I turned him off because I didn't come out Saturday. I told him I didn't have much planned but had told him early on I don't do short notice. So that is his loss. I'm fine as hell. On to a new guy he seems nice we shall see.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
Yall I didn't think I would ever write this but I think a sister may have a date..cue to booty dancers and the confetti lol...
kismettt
Well-Known Member
so guy i was finally coming around to (i have no expectations going in since online dating is so hit or miss once you meet face to face) is moving back to NY. he was there for an internship this summer and was job searching all over once he came back to TX. he got an opportunity there (told me on our second date, had literally just found out) and is leaving ASAP. bummer. but congrats to him
he was there for an internship this summer and was job searching all over once he came back to TX. he got an opportunity there (told me on our second date, had literally just found out) and is leaving ASAP. bummer. but congrats to him
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
He just told me he's taking down his profile.....
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
.............
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3akay3
Active Member
So Oklahoma is coming tomorrow and I'm giddy like a schoolgirl! Our conversations have been great so far and we're on the same page for just about everything.
He's pretty much amazing! Since everything has been going so well, I can't help but wonder if the other shoe will drop. I know I shouldn't, but oh well. Still excited!
Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
He's pretty much amazing! Since everything has been going so well, I can't help but wonder if the other shoe will drop. I know I shouldn't, but oh well. Still excited!
Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
nc cutie
Active Member
Joined OK Cupid a while back...went on there ...talked to this cutie for for 3 hours! He told me goodnight. I haven't heard from him today. He is perfect, the right age, the right look....I am trying not to be anxious. He lives in my home state but I will travel....trying not to panic
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
crlsweetie912 said:
He actually did it. I'm surprised that he wasn't just talking smack....
