***Online Dating Support Thread***

Ugh. Three off the roster this week:

-the black writer who wanted to meet this week after a few message. He came out--he's bisexual. And loves to talk about MEN....do I look like a man to you? I tried dated a bisexual man before from OKC but he was way more into men. Like this one.

-the puerto rican. he will never ask me out. it's been at least a month. I wont return his texts or vmails anymore

-a white web designer conversated a bunch with me this weekend. He said he wanted to meet me, then proceeded to tell me to wear a nice blouse, skirt and thigh high stockings. Blocked!

Next!!
 
So I decided to do match a few weeks ago. If a dude's profile says no longer available, does that mean he blocked me? For example, a dude will leave a comment on a picture, then all of a sudden "profile no longer available".

Earlier i had to delete a comment for one of my pictures. Some idiot posted, "I was all in until I saw cats". I put cats under the checkbox section on my profile, there were no cats in my pictures. So instead of him continuing to browse, he decided to click on a picture and leave stupid comment. I had no interest in nim whatsoever anyways, so i would've never viewed his profile. I couldn't even send a no thanks or block him because it said his profile was no longer available.
 
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classydread said:
So I decided to do match a few weeks ago. If a dude's profile says no longer available, does that mean he blocked me? For example, a dude will leave a comment on a picture, then all of a sudden "profile no longer available".

Earlier i had to delete a comment for one of my pictures. Some idiot posted, "I was all in until I saw cats". I put cats under the checkbox section on my profile, there were no cats in my pictures. So instead of him continuing to browse, he decided to click on a picture and leave stupid comment. I had no interest in nim whatsoever anyways, so i would've never viewed his profile. I couldn't even send a no thanks or block him because it said his profile was no longer available.
Click to expand...

When I see this I typically assume that dude had no business being online from the get-go. Like he's either married or has a SO and wants to step out on the DL.
 
classydread said:
So I decided to do match a few weeks ago. If a dude's profile says no longer available, does that mean he blocked me? For example, a dude will leave a comment on a picture, then all of a sudden "profile no longer available".

Earlier i had to delete a comment for one of my pictures. Some idiot posted, "I was all in until I saw cats". I put cats under the checkbox section on my profile, there were no cats in my pictures. So instead of him continuing to browse, he decided to click on a picture and leave stupid comment. I had no interest in nim whatsoever anyways, so i would've never viewed his profile. I couldn't even send a no thanks or block him because it said his profile was no longer available.
Click to expand...

Not necessarily. Sometime people are on a free promo and when their promo ends and they don't pay their profile will say that.
 
the guy who i last spoke about upthread texted me yesterday asking if i was mad at him.
if yall recall my last update on friday i had asked him if we were ever going to meet. well later that night he called and we chatted but i had to get off the phone and told him i would call him back. i did but he didn't answer. i didn't hear from him until yesterday. (four days later) after asking if i was mad at him. he said that he hadn't heard from me and assumed that i was upset. i told him that i called and that i haven't heard from him either. he told me that probably his phone was dead.
he asked what i was going to be doing today. i told him nothing really, then he said maybe we could meet up sunday. :ohwell: my sundays are really tightly scheduled so i told him that we will see. he said that he really wants to meet me but he has just been really busy. appearantly this weekend he is having more family in town. we've been chatting and messaging for about a month now.
 
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Last Friday I had dinner at Dave & Busters with C. He's a very good looking guy: tall, athletic build, blond hair and blue eyes. I was surprised, however, when he told me that he hasn't had any luck with online dating. He said his profile pictures show him actually doing stuff- no pics of him in the bathroom with his shirt off. Yet he gets no replies back. He also said if he sends a message to a girl with a short paragraph with some substance in it, he doesn't get a response back. If he just sends a message that says "Hi" he still doesn't get anything back. He just seemed frustrated about the whole online dating thing. He told me about his mom, who to me sounded unhealthy, overweight, and unmotivated to do anything besides go to work. C said he has a hard time convincing his mom to go out and do things. Anyway, he works full time for waste management and goes to to school part-time. He said that's all he does and he doesn't have much time for fun. So I don't understand why he's on a dating site if he doesn't have time to do anything else but go to work and school. Anyway, I had a good time with him but I haven't heard from him since last Friday, so I guess that's it. I appreciated the free meal and pleasant company.

So I'm putting the online dating thing on hold for another month or two just to see how things go with T. We went out to dinner last Saturday to an Italian restaurant. He said I make him happy and he cares about me, but I don't know. I'll just have to wait and see.

And the black engineer sent me another text message this past Saturday but I'm done with him.
 
LovelyLouboutin said:
Not necessarily. Sometime people are on a free promo and when their promo ends and they don't pay their profile will say that.
Click to expand...

I guess this could be true, but I haven't been a paid member to match in months yet my profile is still visible. I also continue to receiving winks and emails, but because I'm not a paying "member" I can't respond back. Match also has the capability (even for non-members) for you to hide your profile and make it no longer visible.

~Dacia
 
kweenameena

I had to do the same thing with a guy I'd really liked. He'd gotten divorced a few years back and the 2nd time we had the "dating goals" conversation, he came up with some "I'm not sure I'm ready" spiel. About 3.5 months in.

Considering that we'd already had that conversation and his answer changed, I just had to walk away. And I was sad. For the next 8 months, he texted me every 4-6 weeks, checking in until he finally started asking to take me to dinner or the Met.

Of course, by the time he started asking, I had found someone that I think will be just wonderful. But I think, if I'd stayed he would've been the man that couldn't commit and I would've been the heartbroken woman, anyway. The short stint of pain I endured after opting out on that guy pales in comparison to what I could've felt later. And the new alternative, feels so much more complete.

It might hurt some now to cancel that guy out, but your goals don't align so you did the right thing.
 
We've been chatting for about 3 months on and off. I broke my ankle and he wants to drive to pick me up at my house. I dunno :look: Im thinking of parking in the next cul de sac and standing there for him to pick me up at their clubhouse. :lol:
 
mallysmommy

This guy is not it :nono:

Is there anyone else to focus on? You haven't even met and he's giving nothing but garbage. One month? You deserve better.

Sent from my iPhone
 
Does anybody think online dating makes a person overly "looks conscious" ?
I've been thinking about this because I thought back to the old days of dating & how I met my old boyfriends...there were a couple of good ones that if I saw their picture on a website back in the day, I might have passed them by but back then, you got to knew someone first & attractions developed over time.

I'm just musing...wondering if i'm passing up good options because of this way of dating....

In other news, my rotation includes 3 now. The best contender is really nice, smart, but he is very granola & kind of a Carlton from the fresh prince, lol (he also wears birkenstocks...) not my usual type at all but our date went well so i'm going to go out with him again.
 
UrbainChic said:
mallysmommy

This guy is not it :nono:

Is there anyone else to focus on? You haven't even met and he's giving nothing but garbage. One month? You deserve better.

Sent from my iPhone
Click to expand...

I agree and no there is no one else. He was the last of the leftovers since i closed my account. Im not checking for him was just updating yall. School will be starting for me here in a few and thats what will/should be focusing on. Thanks yall!
 
Hugs to you Bublin and mallysmommy. Most of these fools are trifflin. My roster is currently cleared. No prospects by my choice until school year stats for dd.

What's ridiculous is fools from other states and hundreds of miles away chat and are such great prospects and are serious with white collar jobs! Better than what I get locally. Need to move..
 
so, i've decided to inactivate my pof profile. i've been talking back and forth with someone i met on there prior to that. while talking today, he asks me to send him a pic. i declined and told him sorry i dont send out pics. he gets mad saying well, i wanted it for my photo caller id and how am i supposed to know what you look like? when you went to my profile, im assuming you saw my pics. and why are you putting my pic in your photo caller id? we haven't even met in person yet. but the way he threw a temper tantrum....... this is soo frustrating. btw he just told me good luck with my search. :nono:
 
So I was texting with a guy, for about 2-3 days, and outta no where, well I was asking about kids, and he proceeds to ask if I have any, to which I respond no, then he asks if i have had any abortions... :perplexed, ummm no... then are you a virgin... Had to tell guy yea I dont think I am interested...

How about trying to get to know me, like what are interests, etc...

Ughhh this is gonna be a long journey...
 
AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
SO I was texting with a guy, for about 2-3 days, and outta no where, well I was asking about kids, and he proceeds to ask if I have any, to which I respond no, then he asks if i have had any abortions... :perplexed, ummm no... then are you a virgin... Had to tell guy yea I dont think I am interested...

How about trying to get to know me, like what are interests, etc...

Ughhh this is gonna be a long journey...
Click to expand...

What in the world?!
 
DarkJoy said:
Hugs to you Bublin and mallysmommy. Most of these fools are trifflin. My roster is currently cleared. No prospects by my choice until school year stats for dd.

What's ridiculous is fools from other states and hundreds of miles away chat and are such great prospects and are serious with white collar jobs! Better than what I get locally. Need to move..
Click to expand...

That is soo true. The great prospects are long distance!!! And I'm not talking 3 or four hours either!

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
DarkJoy said:
Hugs to you @Bublin and @mallysmommy. Most of these fools are trifflin. My roster is currently cleared. No prospects by my choice until school year stats for dd.

What's ridiculous is fools from other states and hundreds of miles away chat and are such great prospects and are serious with white collar jobs! Better than what I get locally. Need to move..
Click to expand...

DarkJoy I'm cool. I'm getting really good at detecting these trifflin fakers. The Capricorn showed the real him after we met during a phone conversation. I can't be bothered with writing it all out but I played him at his own game and he lost. These fools underestimate us women.
I'm now back online and have constant flow of messages. However, it's the same here in the UK. The decent guys all seem to live the other side of London and more and more I'm noticing black men do not drive. What is that all about???

Glamorous_chic said:
so, i've decided to inactivate my pof profile. i've been talking back and forth with someone i met on there prior to that. while talking today, he asks me to send him a pic. i declined and told him sorry i dont send out pics. he gets mad saying well, i wanted it for my photo caller id and how am i supposed to know what you look like? when you went to my profile, im assuming you saw my pics. and why are you putting my pic in your photo caller id? we haven't even met in person yet. but the way he threw a temper tantrum....... this is soo frustrating. btw he just told me good luck with my search. :nono:
Click to expand...

What??? How dare he get the last word in like that :nono:

AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
So I was texting with a guy, for about 2-3 days, and outta no where, well I was asking about kids, and he proceeds to ask if I have any, to which I respond no, then he asks if i have had any abortions... :perplexed, ummm no... then are you a virgin... Had to tell guy yea I dont think I am interested...

How about trying to get to know me, like what are interests, etc...

Ughhh this is gonna be a long journey...
Click to expand...

Crazy is on both sides of the Atlantic I see :perplexed
 
Oh yea another guy I was speaking to found particular humor in me telling him that "I blew dried my hair".. That had me questioning my grammar....

Like Blow dried hair, Blew dried hair... :perplexed... I think I was right... All I could think was immature...

Are you ladies soo particular about stuff like that?!
 
i suck at grammar but i don't think ''blew dried'' is correct in any context. ''dry'' is supposed to be changed to the preterite (dried) not blow.
 
Oasis said:
i suck at grammar but i don't think ''blew dried'' is correct in any context. ''dry'' is supposed to be changed to the preterite (dried) not blow.
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anjel im not making fun but the above made me howl lol.

Anyways the older guy popped up today expressing a desire to want to get to know me more. He said he assumed that i liked for a man to take initiative. (We've. Been messaging for about three weeks) idk based off our convo today he sounds promising. Im just not too trusting of men lately and i told him that. He said he wants to change that.....we'll see.
 
Oasis said:
i suck at grammar but i don't think ''blew dried'' is correct in any context. ''dry'' is supposed to be changed to the preterite (dried) not blow.
Click to expand...

mallysmommy said:
@anjel im not making fun but the above made me howl lol.

Anyways the older guy popped up today expressing a desire to want to get to know me more. He said he assumed that i liked for a man to take initiative. (We've. Been messaging for about three weeks) idk based off our convo today he sounds promising. Im just not too trusting of men lately and i told him that. He said he wants to change that.....we'll see.
Click to expand...
Lol, I did say it super fast... I was all on phone phonetically like Blew, Blow, Dry, dried... Seeing what sounds better... shoo I am still confused at what I technically said, but I was like really thats funny... Maybe because I said I blew something... :perplexed
 
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Ok here's my rundown:

#1: Philly... b/c he just moved here from Philadelphia. We've been messaging since July 15th. He is Indian and works in finance. The conversations have been good but he's a little corny. Anyway we're going on our FIRST DATE tomorrow. I'm excited since it's my first online date but we'll see. There was a bit of confusion when planning the date but we're going to PF Chang's for happy hour. So not my first choice but he picked it.

#2: Oklahoma is the guy I'm really into though. He's white and works in sales. We've been messaging since July 25th. The messaging has been great and it seems so natural... nothing is forced. I'm trying not to build this up too much bc he lives 5 hours away. Of course, he does. Oh well, I'm just ready for him to ask me for my number. Let's get this thing going lol
 
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