***Online Dating Support Thread***

DarkJoy
You said upthread about not wanting to meet someone who was new to online dating - like you didn't want to be his experiment.

I forgot to comment and wanted to say the very first time I met a guy it was both our first time. We continued seeing each other for about 4 months but it didn't work out because of other factors.

I'm meeting someone for lunch today and it's his first time. I talked to him about this and he says he has no intention of staying online for longer than necessary and hopefully we'll get along/chemistry.

I don't think you should write someone off just because you are the first person they're meeting. At least try and gauge their attitude to dating.
 
poochie167 said:
so i put up a profile last nite on POF.
Lawd. I seem to be attracting these husky brothas.
Like Suge Knight type o-dudes LOL.

I don't know about that. something ain't right in the water
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POF is a ridiculous free-for-all. I met some guys from there years ago, not all bad, but none of them turned out to be anything. But, out of the few that I met (maybe....5?) I had 5873048308402 lames flooding my inbox. It seems people on there just like to cut up and aren't really serious about dating. Since it's free, there are all kinds of shenanigans that go on there. Now, I only stick to pay sites because I feel like if the person is paying to meet a potential mate, they might at least take it a little more seriously.
 
cami88 said:
POF is a ridiculous free-for-all. I met some guys from there years ago, not all bad, but none of them turned out to be anything. But, out of the few that I met (maybe....5?) I had 5873048308402 lames flooding my inbox. It seems people on there just like to cut up and aren't really serious about dating. Since it's free, there are all kinds of shenanigans that go on there. Now, I only stick to pay sites because I feel like if the person is paying to meet a potential mate, they might at least take it a little more seriously.
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I've had the opposite experience. On a paid site i met up with a guy who said he was divorced but told me in person he was still married. The messages in general were few and far between and lame.
On pof i've met up nice guys and even wealthy ones too - they just weren't my type. They've all said they have tried the paid sites and they were no better and less choice.
 
I haven't felt like this in a long time......all butterflies in my tummy......i've met someone i actually really fancy and he acts and talks like a man's man which i really like). He asked for another date on the walk back to the station and I said yes.

He also told me that he has taken his profile down (but i already knew this!!)
 
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Bublin said:
DarkJoy
You said upthread about not wanting to meet someone who was new to online dating - like you didn't want to be his experiment.

I forgot to comment and wanted to say the very first time I met a guy it was both our first time. We continued seeing each other for about 4 months but it didn't work out because of other factors.

I'm meeting someone for lunch today and it's his first time. I talked to him about this and he says he has no intention of staying online for longer than necessary and hopefully we'll get along/chemistry.

I don't think you should write someone off just because you are the first person they're meeting. At least try and gauge their attitude to dating.
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Bublin, I will have to go back and read! I know at one point I was thinkin no WM with no history of datin BW. I don't want to be an experiment. Heck, I'm new to online dating too...but maybe I had a bad day when I said that. Lol!
-------
Update

New guy: BM, councelor, chatted on okc for over a month. Never mentioned him b4 bcuz I didn't take him too seriously. We met 2 days ago and talked for hours over coffee. We then graduated to dinner. he didn't wannaa let me go! 2nd date yesterday after work over dinner. I think he keeps this up, I will be crushing!

BM realtor: we exchanged a few emails over the weekend. I did send him my number but nothing yet...

Blue collar brutha: we texted a lot the last few days but he every now and then throws out sexual innuendo. He's just about fired.

Under employed Puerto rican electrician: this is going on a month. Last week I suggested we meet up. Getting sick of talkin on the phone tbh. He pulled a fit talking about how he can't work with scheduling things. Wtf? I asked so how do we hook up--meet by chance on the street? Makes me wonder if he's got something going on and he's just trying to creep. He tends to be a little obnoxious from time to time too. PR is going on probation now.
 
DarkJoy said:
@Bublin, I will have to go back and read! I know at one point I was thinkin no WM with no history of datin BW. I don't want to be an experiment. Heck, I'm new to online dating too...but maybe I had a bad day when I said that. Lol!
.
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Ah, missed the WM/BW part. I must start reading posts correctly :look:. I thought it was just a case of a first date in general. Well why not have a chat with him on the phone. A phone call doesn't have to lead to a date. Lawd knows I have chatted to few a guys and decided not to meet them.
 
mallysmommy said:
dude that stood me up twice last week jus texted and asked if i had any free time this week. smh
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Don't give up hope! :bighug:When something like this happens to me I just tell myself that it's better to filter out the flaky ones before things get serious. That' s what I tell myself :lol:
 
Later on today I'm meeting a guy at a bar/grill place and I have a feeling its just going to be drinks. Then on Friday I'm meeting another guy. That's pretty much it because I took my profile down.

I'm going to see T this Saturday; I'm not sure what we're going to do though. He told me that I'm the only girl he's dating (his profile is down too), he compliments me all the time and tells me that he enjoys being in my company and hearing my voice and laughter.

I'm re-reading Why Men Love *****es, mainly for encouragment. After these last two POF meet ups, I'm just going to enjoy dating T and see how far this guys.
 
I haven't updated you ladies lately....I had exchanged numbers with about 12 men and now I'm down to 4.

Guy #1-Divorced with 2 gorgeous kids, 28 years old, great job, Christian, lots of fun, gorgeous body, very attentive, very affirming with his words

Guy #2-Divorced with 2 kids, 36 years old, I'm pretty sure he's a millionaire, Christian, a bit emotionally unavailable though, extremely driven/ambitious, focused on work-because he's so stoic...I didn't think he was even really interested after our first date...but he's still calling and texting everyday so I'll roll with it for now.

Guy #3-Divorced with 1 daughter, 35 years old, great job, Christian, seems a bit slow to move but very sweet, is starting his own business soon,

Guy #4-Never married, 36 years old, wealthy, I have a feeling he is muslim (if so, he's not THE ONE), we have a lot of cultural similarities, he is a talker, I think he's way more interested in me than I am in him, I also feel that he might be a bit insecure by some of the things he has said.


Guy #1-We met up Friday night at a swanky cigar bar that had live music for drinks. We enjoyed each others company so much that we went to a nearby lounge to dance and then we took a late night drive to this 24 hours kabob house for dinner. Yesterday (Tues), he took me out for a lunch date. I didn't want to leave. And he's asked to see me on friday and saturday but I could only commit to Saturday because I have a date with Guy #4 on Friday. On Saturday, we are going to his church (they have an evening sat service) and then to see a movie. He's super romantic and we are both falling hard for each other.

Guy #2-He hit me up on POF Saturday morning and we met up Saturday evening. He took me to a very nice steakhouse and then we saw the batman movie. His words made it seem that he was interested in me but his body language and energy said otherwise. We talked about it and he revealed to me that he had a really rough childhood and wasn't close to his mom. We had a really deep conversation about his past. It's amazing what he has overcome but I think he doesn't know how to love. He'll be a great friend though because he has a wealth of info on how to create financial success.

I'm having lunch with Guy #3 on Thursday and dinner with Guy #4 on Friday.
 
mallysmommy said:
sooo the older guy is still around. the problem is i deleted my profile which had his name in one of the messages. smh lol :look: yall i have no idea what this man's name is lol.
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mallysmommy
Ask him if he has a nickname and then ask what his family members call him. He might just say something like: well, they just call me Rob for short. It's worth a shot.
 
Ugh...I told guy3 I'd go out with him tonight and now I don't feel like it :nono: I don't want to be that person that cancels on the day of...I just want to stay home and read :ohwell:
 
What's the deal with talking of Skype? I've been emailing someone....just gave him my number and he wants to talk over Skype. I'm SO not interested in talking over Skype. Very few people look cute on Skype. Lol. Why can't he just wait til our date lol
 
DarkJoy said:
^^cuz if he don't like what he sees he can cancel in advance. Its like window shopping...ugh
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Oh boo. It'll be his lost cause I don't look
Cute over Skype but in person watch out now!

I have to find an excuse I not Skype him until our date on the 3rd. Lol
 
I don't look great on cam or pics either. I'm an experience only to behold in person :lachen:

Set a firm boundary. Online cams are out. Sorry charlie. Its what I do. Though some have bailed due to my no cam law. I figure those are the ones just looking for sex anyway. Their problem not mine.
 
So this evening I met U and we had dinner at this place on the south side of town. He paid for everything, which was cool. One thing about this online dating thing is that I'm getting to experience new restaurants I can now go to. Anyway, he's 34 yo, never married and has no children. He was born in Russia but moved to the US when he was a year old. He's around 5'7 and very stocky built. I really like his lips. Anyway, after we ate dinner he wanted to go to the Cheesecake Factory and get cheesecake for dessert, which we shared. He was very nice and we talked about a lot of stuff, but I felt like the phone conversation we had prior was better. Plus occasionally he would add sexual innuendos to the conversation, so I'm wondering if he's not looking for anything long term. He said he wants to see me again.

I actually felt bad because when I came home T called me. Like, I don't know, I'm wondering if I should just continue to date unless T wants to be exclusive. I just don't want to think there's something there and then find out that there's not, which is why I'm trying to pace things and still date other people.

Anyway, I'm meeting another guy this Friday. He works full-time and goes to school part-time (can't remember what for.) I want to talk to him on the phone before we meet just to make sure he's not gay like the guy I met last week.
 
blue_flower said:
So this evening I met U and we had dinner at this place on the south side of town. He paid for everything, which was cool. One thing about this online dating thing is that I'm getting to experience new restaurants I can now go to. Anyway, he's 34 yo, never married and has no children. He was born in Russia but moved to the US when he was a year old. He's around 5'7 and very stocky built. I really like his lips. Anyway, after we ate dinner he wanted to go to the Cheesecake Factory and get cheesecake for dessert, which we shared. He was very nice and we talked about a lot of stuff, but I felt like the phone conversation we had prior was better. Plus occasionally he would add sexual innuendos to the conversation, so I'm wondering if he's not looking for anything long term. He said he wants to see me again.

I actually felt bad because when I came home T called me. Like, I don't know, I'm wondering if I should just continue to date unless T wants to be exclusive. I just don't want to think there's something there and then find out that there's not, which is why I'm trying to pace things and still date other people.

Anyway, I'm meeting another guy this Friday. He works full-time and goes to school part-time (can't remember what for.) I want to talk to him on the phone before we meet just to make sure he's not gay like the guy I met last week.
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Sounds like you had a great date with U.
Although it's annoying.....I don't always think that when a man says something sexual he only wants sex. He might want you AND the sex. But either way, if you're uncomfortable with it....say something to him to give him a chance to fix it.
 
Whenever a man says that he wants an independent woman who takes care of her own....I start to think that either he's cheap or he wants to be taken care of. I hate that I feel this way but something about it just rubs me wrong.
 
i know that this has been asked before but do any of you guys initiate dates? of the guys that i had left lingering aroun there is one who continues to call but has taken no initiative to ask me out. also the older guy wanted to see me tomorrow but hasn't set anything up and i m dreading that he'll be like "what do you want to do?" i don't want to plan my own dang dates. =( outside of eating, im not that creative.
 
^I can't. I want the guy to do EVERYTHING. Tell me when, where and what time to be there. I feel like I shouldnt have to plan the date, look up movie times, know whats on the menu, etc.

Anytime a guy starts that indecisiveness, i get turned off.

And he needs to initiate it FAST. I can't wait more than 7-10 days with this online stuff. He needs to be progressive and know when to go to step 2, step 3, etc.

Or am I just lazy? :look: I cant be bothered to do ish nowadays. :lol:
 
mallysmommy said:
i know that this has been asked before but do any of you guys initiate dates? of the guys that i had left lingering aroun there is one who continues to call but has taken no initiative to ask me out. also the older guy wanted to see me tomorrow but hasn't set anything up and i m dreading that he'll be like "what do you want to do?" i don't want to plan my own dang dates. =( outside of eating, im not that creative.
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I do ask @mallysmommy if after a week or 2 of chatting on the phone, they haven't asked yet. Some men are shy at first in fear of rejection. After the first date, I leave the rest up to them and clearly state so, something like, "give me a ring if you want to go out again." They all say yes when I initiate the first date, except the one so far.

That's the Puerto Rican. I asked him out and he got all snippy. I think he might be happy in phone-land or is creeping anyway... :look:. whatever.

ETA: I don't plan the first date. I consider that a first 'meet' as opposed to a date anyway. BTW, even though I initiate the first date, they ALL pay for it. But I'm reasonable...it's usually just coffee to see if I like them. :yep: 2nd dates are another matter...
 
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Can I just tell yall again, my age group really really really sucks! :lol:
But I do have a meet up planned on Friday. I hope he looks better in person like he said.:look:
 
Victorian said:
Ugh...I told guy3 I'd go out with him tonight and now I don't feel like it :nono: I don't want to be that person that cancels on the day of...I just want to stay home and read :ohwell:
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Well I went anyway and I'm glad I did because we saw an improv show with puppets and it was freaking HILARIOUS (if you're in Chicago, see here: http://ioimprov.com/chicago/io/shows/felt Oh and when they say not suitable for kids, they mean it :look:). And then we had Italian ice (I had blood orange and cantaloupe flavors :lick:) and watched stuff he had Tivo'd while we were gone :lol: I had a good time. I'm proud of myself for not being lazy and inconsiderate and bailing :yep:
 
About to leave work to go on my lunch date with Guy #3.
This is going to be interesting because he suggested an indian restaurant that I frequent about once a week. There are 2 waiters there that cater to me and flirt with me. So ummmm.....yeah.

But Guy #3 seemed very quiet at first. But yesterday he totally opened up to me and I really like his personality.:yep:
I'm looking forward to our date.

I'll report back when I return. Wish me luck!
 
Victorian said:
Well I went anyway and I'm glad I did because we saw an improv show with puppets and it was freaking HILARIOUS (if you're in Chicago, see here: http://ioimprov.com/chicago/io/shows/felt Oh and when they say not suitable for kids, they mean it :look:). And then we had Italian ice (I had blood orange and cantaloupe flavors :lick:) and watched stuff he had Tivo'd while we were gone :lol: I had a good time. I'm proud of myself for not being lazy and inconsiderate and bailing :yep:
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I'm glad you went too. That sounds like a great date!
So are you going to see him again?
 
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