***Online Dating Support Thread***

[youwillrise]

I don't message guys. I figure if they're interested and they like to chase then they can contact me first. I've deleted and blocked a lot of guys, especially the lets-chill-at-your-crib-and-watch-a-movie types of guys who like to send one word messages. I've encountered a couple whiny ones who were upset that I didn't reply or call them. I'll visit a guy's profile and if he visits mine he's the one who can message first if he's really interested.

I feel the same way...I was actually going to ask on here if people preferred the man to make first contact or if you take initiative when you see a guy who sparks your interest. I'm also pretty shy, so making the first move is scary for me haha. I'm not really holding my breath for anyone to be interested in me...well, anyone id be interested in, anyway. I'm sure a few creepy old men will message me

 

[Shay72]

I don't message guys. I figure if they're interested and they like to chase then they can contact me first. I've deleted and blocked a lot of guys, especially the lets-chill-at-your-crib-and-watch-a-movie types of guys who like to send one word messages. I've encountered a couple whiny ones who were upset that I didn't reply or call them. I'll visit a guy's profile and if he visits mine he's the one who can message first if he's really interested.

I feel the same way...I was actually going to ask on here if people preferred the man to make first contact or if you take initiative when you see a guy who sparks your interest. I'm also pretty shy, so making the first move is scary for me haha. I'm not really holding my breath for anyone to be interested in me...well, anyone id be interested in, anyway. I'm sure a few creepy old men will message me

I do message guys. Honestly I do have better luck with the ones that message me first. But I see this as an opportunity to do something I would be too scared or shy to do IRL. I want to maximize this opportunity.

 

[MizzKutieQ]

I do message guys. Honestly I do have better luck with the ones that message me first. But I see this as an opportunity to do something I would be too scared or shy to do IRL. I want to maximize this opportunity.

I do too! It's a guy at my gym that I call my gym BF (although he doesn't know this) I would never approach him IRL BUT, if I saw him online I'd definitely make the move.

 

[Shay72]

I really wish these guys would smile in at least one pic. I diverted disaster once with a toothless man so I'm all paranoid now .

 

[MizzKutieQ]

I really wish these guys would smile in at least one pic. I diverted disaster once with a toothless man so I'm all paranoid now .

This one fool messaged me saying next time I should smile in my pictures. I go to his page this MF had some nerve, he had only one pic and it was dark! Like literally, u could only see his silhouette nothing else. So I responded 'yeah next time use some light in your picture.'

 

[blue_flower]

Bublin
Alot of these guys want you to chase them. I'll never forget on Black People Meet I talked to this guy for a day and we had tentatively set up a date for the next day. He was supposed to call me and he didn't. Next thing I know he has Favorited me (which I think is creepy ) and every time I was on for like 1 minute I would see him come on right after me. I know this because I always like to see the who is online part of these sites. I no longer use that site. I'm on POF exclusively and now I see him over there. I hope he doesn't find me.

I thought Blackpeoplemeet was awful. I'll never ever go there again.

 

[Bublin]

@Bublin
Alot of these guys want you to chase them. I'll never forget on Black People Meet I talked to this guy for a day and we had tentatively set up a date for the next day. He was supposed to call me and he didn't. Next thing I know he has Favorited me (which I think is creepy ) and every time I was on for like 1 minute I would see him come on right after me. I know this because I always like to see the who is online part of these sites. I no longer use that site. I'm on POF exclusively and now I see him over there. I hope he doesn't find me.

Right. I have a guy at the moment who is behaving very passive aggressively.
I said I would call him yesterday evening. I didn't specify a time but he said that was fine. I text him at 9pm and asked if it was ok to call at 10pm as my brother was still at my house visiting. He didn't reply. I called at 10pm and he didn't pick up.
Today at 1pm he text me and said he got an early night and he would call between 6pm-7pm. I said that was fine. At excatly 6pm he rings my phone but I was at a friends house and I didn't get to my handbag in time. I text him and said I was in the bathroom and he could call back. He texts me and says he is getting ready to go out and will call me tomorrow.
WTF. He is playing games. Before this his messaging was very sporadic and mainly moaning about women and their demands.
I'm done with him.

I also won't be messaging guys anymore. I never used to but got fed up with the constant 'views' and adding to Favourites but no messages. I guess they do want you to chase.

 

[Bublin]

This guy says he is 39. He sent me a very sweet message but I'm going to decline
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=3908622

I tell you, alot of the ages are also suspect.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Bublin, why didnt you clal back instead of texting...

 

[Bublin]

@Bublin, why didnt you clal back instead of texting...

My line of thinking was that I didn't want to appear like I was chasing - I was taking his previous messages and lack of communication into consideration.

Anyway I have an update already. He just called me, decided to pick up and we had the best convo and were laughing. Sadly he was on the train and the phone cut out.
He said he thought I was telling fibs about my brother being around. He presumed it was a tactic not to talk to him. He is a Trader (Hedge Funds) and gets to work at 6.30am and usually goes to bed around 10pm.
We had a laugh about it and said that internet dating makes everyone paranoid. He quickly got in an offer of a date before the phone cut out.

 

[Bublin]

Lunch date on Monday!!!!!

 

[AnjelLuvs]

This thread gave me new life in online dating so I set up a simple profile earlier...

I need you guys opinion on following...

lovewithoutlimit: 7/14/2012 8:12:15 PM
Wow a bun.. Really?

ME: 7/14/2012 8:25:38 PM
Did I miss something

lovewithoutlimit: 7/14/2012 8:26:32 PM
You're wearing a bun in your picture..
Didn't you know that's a male repellent lol

Is this true... erplexedI just quickly added picture that is also here on profile...

 

[MizzBrown]

^No you didnt miss anything. He's just being your typical male a$$hole.

I'm tired of them.

 

[Shay72]

^No you didnt miss anything. He's just being your typical male a$$hole.

I'm tired of them.

For real . Supposedly grown men using middle school tatics.

 

[youwillrise]

Do people not read? I specificed a certain age range...please make sure you're part of it before you make contact with me. I do not want anyone older or younger than specified. I think I'm gonna get rid of these profiles haha...I dunno...not sure.

 

[mallysmommy]

so now i have a guy #4 and #5

guy #4 is super goofy. has had me laughing since we began speaking. he also teaches basketball camp, but his profile says that he isn't seeking a commitment of any kind. i think i will keep him around for entertainment purposes.

guy# 5 is much older than me, but he is sweet and sincere. he has a 14 and 12 year old daughters. lol

guy #1 the principal is kind of turning me off. lots of sexual innuendos and we haven't even met yet. we are supposed to go bowling next weekend and he is all like "if i win then you owe me a kiss" ni99a i aint kissing anyone. i told him today that i was tired and he offered a massage. idk i hope he isn't a kang on the low. it would be such a shame for a guy who has soo much potential.

my new #2 guy talks.....alot. i can't get a word in sometimes.

guy # 3 the new new orleans guy is very shy, i still like him though.

 

[DarkJoy]

I think I have a whole new rotation going. It's like I get them in 4s, weed em out one at a time and keep it goin...lol

New #1, puerto rican, electrician, really cute, divorced. grown kid. can hold a conversation and is funny as heck. his voice and accent had me thinking dirty thoughts. :O that NEVER happens! we talked for 3 hours the other night. unfortunately he is under-employed. will see how that plays out... he is also quite persistent with the calling. told him i have a kid and can't be chit chatting all the time. i noticed that folks with grown kids FORGET how consumming the little ones are. idk if that's red flagg-ish yet.

New #2, white jew, programmer, no kids, never maried also in school for a phd in psychology, former military. southerner turned yank. we talked for 2 hours last night. Loved his heavy Virginia drawl. apparently, he's a great cook of the southern/soul food favorites... might have to put that to the test. he was also quite open about his abusive childhood. Nothing wrong with that...just was never hit with that much info so soon...

New #3, white irish immigrant, school teacher (?), no kids-not really liking his poor conversation but that's not really a bad sign. not very articulate when he does send more than a sentence either, but that means nothing. i'll give irish a chance.

New #4, black, realtor, 1 child same age as mine. from his pics, he's not so attractive. I love that he's way more articulate than the rest and enjoys talking online some. seems quite serious about life and his son. i like that... i'm actually the serious type too (I am VERY Virgo). he also seems way more guarded than the others.

Numbers 1, 3, 4 all want to do first meets this week. was hoping to squeeze one in tomorrow but idk... it might be too short notice to hook that up. freshly twisted my hair tonight to wear 'out' tomorrow just in case! lol

 

[Shay72]

Okay why this fool ask for my number then don't call? Well I'm actually okay if he doesn't because I noticed too late that he doesn't have a car. No thank you.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

I thought Blackpeoplemeet was awful. I'll never ever go there again.

My cousin met her fiancée on that site. She was on it less than a week. He was a diamond in the rough tho cause I did not have that like.

 

[Bublin]

Okay why this fool ask for my number then don't call? Well I'm actually okay if he doesn't because I noticed too late that he doesn't have a car. No thank you.

I never give my number. If they ask I will ask for theirs and that I will call them. Sometimes they give me theirs and ask them to call me which is even better.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

i'm trying online dating again, and its been okay i guess. what i hate is the quality of men that message me. previously i would entertain foolishness just b/c. but now, i'm really getting seirous about dating with a purpose its beyond frustrating at this point. some of these men are a complete mess. and it makes me feel like sad: what made you think we would be a good match? seriouslly.

and when i read their profile, alot of them have these long a$$ rants that i can tell they have emotional baggage, and i will usually not even respond in that case. there was one that mentioned if you are an introvert do not msg him. he sent me a msg, and i told him im an introvert ..... lolol

 

[mallysmommy]

so i waitress part time and today at work was super busy and i was looking super rough and guess who decides to bring his happy behind into the restaruant? yup you guessed the insurance agent who stood me up a few days ago. so awkward. one of my coworkers said that he was staring at me when i had my back to him, so im guessing he recognized me. ugh....... he didn't say anything just ate and left, but now he knows where i work.

word of advice dont talk to be people who live too close to you. it'll keep awkward moments at bay

 

[mallysmommy]

so i got a message from a dude named "Dreadedthug" saying this:

"Let me cook for u while we get high off our drug then hit up a gym or run a couple miles "

and why do ninjas think pics like these are cute?

le gross

 

[crlsweetie912]

so i got a message from a dude named "Dreadedthug" saying this:

"Let me cook for u while we get high off our drug then hit up a gym or run a couple miles "

and why do ninjas think pics like these are cute?

le gross

Ewwwwww he put that dirty money in his mouth.......yuck

 

[CityGirlLuv]

I think I have a whole new rotation going. It's like I get them in 4s, weed em out one at a time and keep it goin...lol

New #1, puerto rican, electrician, really cute, divorced. grown kid. can hold a conversation and is funny as heck. his voice and accent had me thinking dirty thoughts. :O that NEVER happens! we talked for 3 hours the other night. unfortunately he is under-employed. will see how that plays out... he is also quite persistent with the calling. told him i have a kid and can't be chit chatting all the time. i noticed that folks with grown kids FORGET how consumming the little ones are. idk if that's red flagg-ish yet.

New #2, white jew, programmer, no kids, never maried also in school for a phd in psychology, former military. southerner turned yank. we talked for 2 hours last night. Loved his heavy Virginia drawl. apparently, he's a great cook of the southern/soul food favorites... might have to put that to the test. he was also quite open about his abusive childhood. Nothing wrong with that...just was never hit with that much info so soon...

New #3, white irish immigrant, school teacher (?), no kids-not really liking his poor conversation but that's not really a bad sign. not very articulate when he does send more than a sentence either, but that means nothing. i'll give irish a chance.

New #4, black, realtor, 1 child same age as mine. from his pics, he's not so attractive. I love that he's way more articulate than the rest and enjoys talking online some. seems quite serious about life and his son. i like that... i'm actually the serious type too (I am VERY Virgo). he also seems way more guarded than the others.

Numbers 1, 3, 4 all want to do first meets this week. was hoping to squeeze one in tomorrow but idk... it might be too short notice to hook that up. freshly twisted my hair tonight to wear 'out' tomorrow just in case! lol

What city in VA is he from?

 

[MzLady78]

Why does every guy on POF that hits me up have kids?

I do NOT want to deal with anymore men with kids, I don't care if it means I'll be single for the rest of my life.

 

[MizzKutieQ]

Why does every guy on POF that hits me up have kids?

I do NOT want to deal with anymore men with kids, I don't care if it means I'll be single for the rest of my life.

How about I write in my profile that I don't date guys with kids, and they STILL email me. I don't care how attractive he is, I don't want to deal with any of the stuff that comes with kids. Some guys are really understanding and nice about it, but others get mad and say "well you're going to be single for awhile." I met a few guys that felt the same way about women with kids. I don't have any kids by choice, so why is it a problem that I prefer to date guys without kids as well?

 

[MizzKutieQ]

so i got a message from a dude named "Dreadedthug" saying this:

"Let me cook for u while we get high off our drug then hit up a gym or run a couple miles "

and why do ninjas think pics like these are cute?

le gross

Men take pictures like this and have their BMW's or whatever car that makes them look like they have money, and get upset when all they attract is gold diggers.

 

[blue_flower]

So tomorrow I'm going out with #2, whom I'll call R. We're going to the Science Center. I don't know what else he has planned for the day. My goal is to learn more about him tomorrow. He's still a mystery to me.

On Wednesday, I'm supposed to be meet #4 because we're going to the art museum but he hasn't given me a time yet.

So the 5th guy, we're having dinner Wednesday evening at this vegetarian place..

Friday I'm meeting #6 for dinner. I'm really curious about him. He's another Carnegie Mellon grad with a degree in "computer science with minors in robotics and psychology-with a focus in AI".

As for T. I really like him. He's a sweet guy and we text and talk on the phone. He wants to see me all the time but I'm making sure I set the pace. I like going out with different guys.

By the end of this week I"m going to temporarily take down my account. Its just hard to keep up with all of the messages I'm getting. Plus I work and its hard scheduling dates too. I'm also surprised I'm having success with online dating this 3,4,5(?) time around.

I'm just having fun!

 

[Bublin]

I hate myself. I find almost every date very unattractive. Just finished a lunch date and he was so nice (and very wealthy i might add)...but he is so ugly to me. I just can't.