***Online Dating Support Thread***

cluelezz said:
What's the min and max amount of time you all are waiting for/allowing men to move things offline?
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cluelezz

I'm glad you asked this because this is something I struggle with too. I have noticed as I've gotten older and more comfortable with online dating, I tend to want to exchange cell phone numbers within two days, talk for about a week and then plan a date. But the thing is, everybody is so different. Some guys are comfortable with this and some aren't. I can understand as there was a time I was all about emailing for at least two weeks. What I do now is try to get a feel for the guy and go from there. Likewise, many guys simply just give me their cell #'s without me even asking.
 
cluelezz said:
What's the min and max amount of time you all are waiting for/allowing men to move things offline?
Click to expand...

i like to meet as soon as possible. i've gone out with guys as early as 2 days after first contact.

i hate getting to know ppl through text/phone/email. i'd rather meet immediately to verify we aren't compatible so we can just move on::lol:
 
After two failed attempts at online dating (I really had no idea what I was doing) I'm ready and back at it. Subscribing and now making the trek through this thread.
 
Oasis said:
i like to meet as soon as possible. i've gone out with guys as early as 2 days after first contact.

i hate getting to know ppl through text/phone/email. i'd rather meet immediately to verify we aren't compatible so we can just move on::lol:
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I'm in the same camp. When I first started online dating I was more nervous about meeting, and felt like I needed to "get to know" someone more first. I've done this online thing enough at this point that I realize I get to know more important things in the 1 hour or whatever that we have a coffee date than several days of messages and idle chit chat. Now dilly dallying annoys the heck out of me :lol:


Oh, I guess I should update:
Hung out with guy3 on Wednesday and saw an improv show.

Went to dinner with guy1 tonight. He always sends me random emails and text messages during the week. I'm having to adjust to communicating a lot through such means, which aren't normally primary for me. After our little talk last week, I'm trying to be good about replying. Tonight I dropped a hint about how nice it is when we have "face time," so we'll see if he got it :lol: Of course I know he's busy, and has to commute into the city, etc.

Guy5 randomly texted me today this morning: "Sup stranger" :lachen: I was totally not expecting to hear from him anymore.

I haven't really been on the site as much lately being busy with work and random activities and dealing with current guys, but I've gotten a couple new messages here and there. One I replied to today - the guy is a teacher and seems cool.
 
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Oasis said:
i like to meet as soon as possible. i've gone out with guys as early as 2 days after first contact.

i hate getting to know ppl through text/phone/email. i'd rather meet immediately to verify we aren't compatible so we can just move on::lol:
Click to expand...

ITA. I hate you can't multi quote when using the app.
 
So I've been back on POF for almost a week. Imma need the old white dudes to KIM. Also a message that says "hello" and that's it will not get a response from me. I have a message I'm waiting to respond to bc my power is out and I'm on my phone. He's only got 1 pic up and I need to be able to see it large & full. I don't believe in giving false hopes. Learned my lesson from before.

I truly believe that all of the guys with their mouths clamped shut have jacked up teeth.
 
How are you going to put 'I am not into giving everything away on a web site' and then have your only profile pic be your acting headshot with your full legal name on it??? :rofl:
 
I have a coffee date lined up for this Wednesday lunch time - POF.
Messaging 2 other guys who are both very similar - Match.com.

I always said I wouldn't multiple date/chat but I made the switch. This one-at-a-time business is just a waste of time :look:.

ETA - One of the Match.com guys wants to meet me and has given me his phone number. He asked for a drink after work but I have suggested a coffee at lunch time. I'll call him later and talk about it. He has an excellent job, lives very near me and we have the same background.
 
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Guy 2 - He just text to say we are having lunch at Browns restaurant tomorrow. It was supposed to be a coffee date.....i'm not complaining.
We haven't even spoken on the phone so this is new territory for me.
 
Another one bites the dust...............

Fantastic lunch date and instant chemisty blah blah blah.....but he tells me he is Seperated. His profile says Divorced. He said he thought his divorce would have been sorte by the time he stared going on dates........

Then he tells me the story about why the divorce hasn't been sorted out. They got married abroad and to get a divorce he needs the marriage certificate and Barbados are not answering their phones. Er, so the divorce proceedings haven't started.

Negga pleeeease.

I told him when the divorce comes through he can call me.
Still the meal was very nice.

Trust me an hour is all you need to know what you need to know about a guy!!!

Another lunch date tomorrow with another guy.................
 
VelvetRain said:
He really though you were going come on and let him smash. GTHOOWTBS.
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The worst part is that we already had that conversation.....you won't be chillin at my house and I won't be chillin at yours....oh well......no loss on my end.....
 
Wait....the guy just text me to say he has been in touch with the Barbadian embassy in the UK and they will look into the matter of getting a copy of his marriage certificate. :blush:

What in the world?.........did I impress him that much or is he pulling my leg. I know I'm all that :gorgeous: - lol - but still. Men are very entertaining.
 
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2uqssbqj3i_146942629-2.jpg

Oh my smh, one of my many weird experiences, this man messaged me to go out. But take a look at his part of his profile below:


I have a few deal breakers off the top that I cant deal with: Liars, cheaters, drug users, being undependable, Afros and girls who wear cowboy hats..lol..I am not in to people who send messages who cant spell and probably one of my biggest turnoffs is an arrogant or conceited girl.

I am open to all races so if we connect, nationality is not important. Feel free to message me if you want to know more!

I told him...you know my hair gets afroy went wet right? He was like well I guess that means no pools when I'm around. I finished off by telling him I love my hair afro and all and genetics and said thank you but not thanks!!!

crazies I swear lol
 
he looks like scooter from living single :rofl:

good for you. "no afro" sounds like code for "no black women" to me. :drunk: and even if thats not what he meant he obviously doesnt know much about black women in general.
 
I made the mistake of sending a flirt to someone showing interest.

Now i dont know what else to say. I just did that to see if he'd take the initiative but he's obviously wanting ME to take the initiative.

I aint chasing you! Damn, I sent you a flirt! Take it and use it to your advantage! I wont do that again. Just let the guy take the lead. I HATE when guys don't take the lead and actually sit around waiting for the women to ask all the questions and initiate a meetup, etc.

I am not doing that. Women should NOT be chasing after men. Why is it so hard to find someone with old school dating abilities?
 
@DarkJoy- I have enough distance that I can laugh about this experience now :lol: I was so heated about this situation before that my blood pressure got high every time I thought about it :giggle: This man was great on paper- well educated, 6'4", chocolate complexion, attractive, and he took the initiative & sent me a thoughtful message. He didn't have his pic up, but I thought I would give him a chance since his message was so nice. He offered to send me a pic and I promptly accepted. He sent it and was attractive, so I was wondering why his pic wasn't up, like what is the catch?!

He immediately asked me for a lunch date that same day and I told him I was busy at work, but told him I had an hour for a coffee date that evening before Bible Study. He agreed that would work and we met up for a quick date that same day...suffice it to say, thank God I had to go to Bible Study :lol: I will only mention the highlights of ignorance. When I walk in, he looks me up and down like I am a piece of meat. Instant discomfort! Then tells me that women at his job wear heels and do I not like heels (I was wearing flats). I kinda look at him with a side eye & state I was coming from work and like to be comfortable. He then asks if the next time we go out, could I please wear heels? *say what?!* I ignored that comment, but he already has some strikes against him in my mind SMH I don't take kindly to men trying to tell me what to do, especially men I don't know!

He then proceeds to interview me and I am feeling sooo uncomfortable...he is also making comments about my physique and when I react surprised, he says we are grown and should be able to say anything! Ummm...no sir! So he is saying insensitive things and my jaw continues to drop. But this was the kicker: He tells me that I look like I am going to wash clothes!!! My mouth simply dropped open...my response was "what did you say to me?" He repeated it and said that while he "understood" I was coming from work, but he hopes I dress up more for our next date and wears heels! WTF I told him that was a mean comment and he backtracked and said he was just being sarcastic & joking. I told him it wasn't funny. He was surprised I was offended SMH He basically told me I looked like I was the Help :nono: I told him that comment hurt my feelings and he kept apologizing and begging me to not judge him based off one meeting. I should give him another chance...NINJA PLEASE! You are a mean-spirited man who is used to getting his way :nono: I think he didn't understand he was supposed to be trying to make me feel comfortable and ensure that I had a good time so he could secure another date...he just assumed I would fall all over him :lachen::lachen: I didn't smile or laugh once during the whole date, which is beyond strange for me...I am a pretty happy person who usually laughs and smiles for no reason :giggle: My nickname is Joyful J for goodness sake :grin:

If he was already putting me down on a first date, I'd hate to see how he would behave after he got good and comfortable! Ain't a man fine enough in the world to get me to accept that treatment! I have never felt that uncomfortable on a date and it only lasted 45 minutes! It is never ok for a man to say mean things to me, I think I deserve better than that :yep: Thanks for letting me vent ladies!
 
^ Well damn!

I see we are all battin' for zero again. :lol: They always start out okay and then you get hit with a brick.
 
I get this message from a guy:
Hey I wouldn't mind getting to know u
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Then I read his profile (which sounds like an infomercial):
Also if you so choose to initiate contact with me, being that we are online, I only ask that you say more than only a few words(if possible).... be willing to share more pics of yourself via the web(no ONE-Pic-Wonders lol)... I actually respond to most messages, its the courteous thing to do( ...Thanks for reading...
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How am I supposed to e-meet you when you say nothing to me?
 
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Who's paid for Match.com? Yall got a free coupon code or something?

I'm gonna see how many views I get and scope it out before I pay.
 
How are you supposed to find a someone to e-chat with if there are only 200 black men in your search and 1200 white/other?

WTH? Where are all the black men? You have no choice BUT to date out.
 
hopeful- I truly dodged a bullet :lol: I have briefly dated controlling, emotionally abusive men in the past and he was definitely going to join that group :nono: I ended it very quickly, so I am getting better at taking care of me! Thank God I know I deserve better now because I didn't used to :ohwell:

I am paying for Match, although I won't be continuing to do that once this subscription runs out LOL I think I need to do events through meetup.com for a while...I have had several bad experiences in a row, so I need a little break :lol: I would like to do events right now versus sifting through these jokers online :look: A lot of the events look pretty fun! I need fun in my life, cyber dating has been stressful for the past month! I am still hopeful about the process, but if I keep having these experiences, that hope will continue to dwindle :lachen::lachen: Time for a change of scenery :yep:
 
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Bublin said:
Another one bites the dust...............

Fantastic lunch date and instant chemisty blah blah blah.....but he tells me he is Seperated. His profile says Divorced. He said he thought his divorce would have been sorte by the time he stared going on dates........

Then he tells me the story about why the divorce hasn't been sorted out. They got married abroad and to get a divorce he needs the marriage certificate and Barbados are not answering their phones. Er, so the divorce proceedings haven't started.

Negga pleeeease.

I told him when the divorce comes through he can call me.
Still the meal was very nice.

Trust me an hour is all you need to know what you need to know about a guy!!!

Another lunch date tomorrow with another guy.................
Click to expand...

:look: I dated while I was seperated. Nobody had a problem with it. I wasn't going to wait a whole year before I could start getting out there (you must be separated a year in Canada before being granted a divorce).
 
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