***Online Dating Support Thread***

OMGosh y'all. I'm floating on a cloud right now.
I met this wonderful man, I mean wonderful, on OKC. I still hadn't written anything at all in my profile. But he hit me up anyway. And I'm thanking God that he did.

He is everything I could want in man and more that I never knew I wanted. He's a humanitarian, very successful, creative, tolerant, humble, Christian, understanding, mature....I could go on forever.

It just feels different with him. It almost feels perfect.
Ok.....I went into this with my guard up and it just came crashing down with him. It's still very, very early so I'm still a bit scared.
Is it possible to know someone is The One when you first meet them?
He thinks I'm The One and the feeling is so mutual.
I don't know what I've gotten myself into. I didn't expect this to happen like this and so fast. Somebody shake me.

I'm off to dream land.....
 
congrats on meeting such a nice man kweenameena!
_____

I did text the nerd friday and he texted back which was nice. didnt get the chance to talk yesterday because i was so busy. will try today and see where it goes...
 
Ugh...

Anyone else getting couples looking for a threesome on these sites?? Just checked my messages and this is like the 3rd married couple this week! How annoooooying!:spinning: I say clearly that I'm looking to date or a relationship. IDK what they're thinkin! :look:
 
kweenameena- I'm happy you are so happy! :yay: I think God can do ANYTHING, so I would say it is possible to know someone is The One for you fairly early...I would just stay prayerful about God's will in the situation & just try to enjoy yourself in the moment (not thinking too much about the future/whether he is The One) :yep: Congrats on meeting a nice man!
 
I responded to a man without a picture :look: I'm scared :lol: I always usually ignore those messages, but he had liked 3 of my pics, made me a favorite, and sent me a message, so I figured I could give him a chance :lachen::lachen: He said he could send me a pic in his initial message, so I requested one :look: Anybody had good experiences with guys without pictures? I have heard mixed reviews...
 
kweenameena said:
OMGosh y'all. I'm floating on a cloud right now.
I met this wonderful man, I mean wonderful, on OKC. I still hadn't written anything at all in my profile. But he hit me up anyway. And I'm thanking God that he did.

He is everything I could want in man and more that I never knew I wanted. He's a humanitarian, very successful, creative, tolerant, humble, Christian, understanding, mature....I could go on forever.

It just feels different with him. It almost feels perfect.
Ok.....I went into this with my guard up and it just came crashing down with him. It's still very, very early so I'm still a bit scared.
Is it possible to know someone is The One when you first meet them?
He thinks I'm The One and the feeling is so mutual.
I don't know what I've gotten myself into. I didn't expect this to happen like this and so fast. Somebody shake me.

I'm off to dream land.....
Click to expand...

judging by the timeline in your posts (that youd just made the okc profile) please remember to be cautious. it's very early and everything that glitters ain't gold. don't let your hopes skyrocket before you even get out the gate! good luck with him! :kiss:
 
meesch said:
judging by the timeline in your posts (that youd just made the okc profile) please remember to be cautious. it's very early and everything that glitters ain't gold. don't let your hopes skyrocket before you even get out the gate! good luck with him! :kiss:
Click to expand...

You're right. And I'm being cautious. My heart has gotten me in trouble before. So I trying to make sure that my eyes are wide open.

But dang already this feels right. But again, it's still mad early. We'll see though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
 
LilMissSunshine5 said:
@kweenameena- I'm happy you are so happy! :yay: I think God can do ANYTHING, so I would say it is possible to know someone is The One for you fairly early...I would just stay prayerful about God's will in the situation & just try to enjoy yourself in the moment (not thinking too much about the future/whether he is The One) :yep: Congrats on meeting a nice man!
Click to expand...

Thank you! Girl, I'm thrilled. Can't sleep, can't eat, no nothing. And this isn't like me. Pray for me y'all.
 
Whoohoo! FINALLY a BM with some tooth and eductation contacts me. It's been all WM up to this point. He is cute, Nigerian and educated. Fit marathon runner too...a nice contrast from my fat ays. lol.

We've been talking all day--thank god I have the day off or might have missed him.

Gonna try and snap him up for a first date like this weekend...yeehaa!
 
kweenameena said:
OMGosh y'all. I'm floating on a cloud right now.
I met this wonderful man, I mean wonderful, on OKC. I still hadn't written anything at all in my profile. But he hit me up anyway. And I'm thanking God that he did.

He is everything I could want in man and more that I never knew I wanted. He's a humanitarian, very successful, creative, tolerant, humble, Christian, understanding, mature....I could go on forever.

It just feels different with him. It almost feels perfect.
Ok.....I went into this with my guard up and it just came crashing down with him. It's still very, very early so I'm still a bit scared.
Is it possible to know someone is The One when you first meet them?
He thinks I'm The One and the feeling is so mutual.
I don't know what I've gotten myself into. I didn't expect this to happen like this and so fast. Somebody shake me.

I'm off to dream land.....
Click to expand...

kweenameena Congrats! How long have you been dating him?
 
Bam!

Landed a date with the professional Nigerian. We meet in 2 hrs!! That was quick! Gotta get up off here and do my nails....

*deciding whether to go au naturel hair of if that kinky half wig will work*
 
LilMissSunshine5 said:
I responded to a man without a picture :look: I'm scared :lol: I always usually ignore those messages, but he had liked 3 of my pics, made me a favorite, and sent me a message, so I figured I could give him a chance :lachen::lachen: He said he could send me a pic in his initial message, so I requested one :look: Anybody had good experiences with guys without pictures? I have heard mixed reviews...
Click to expand...

i did once and he was super cute! total surprise. :yep:
 
So I finally met up with this man months after our initial contact on match. We did a brief lunch during his lunch break at work.since I'm off and was going to be in the area. He was nice, looked different in person, still attractive, funny and respectful. I think he was feeling self conscious about his slight belly because he kept mentioning how he is trying to get in shape. Overall it was a light and wholesome meeting.

I'd like to see him again but will wait on him to arrange something. The thing is I tend to give men aloof vibes early on..and have been told I come across as indifferent. Should I mention meeting up again?
 
Duchesse said:
The thing is I tend to give men aloof vibes early on..and have been told I come across as indifferent.
Click to expand...

Guy1 called me last night and mentioned something similar to me. He's very emotional and expressive and I'm not, so we're going to have to figure out how to deal with that. I felt crummy after we hung up, but hopeful at the same time since we both are interested in each other and want to continue. I just felt really guilty, because I'm not distant on purpose -- I don't even notice it. I'm glad he was willing to call and ask me about it directly though, since I was totally oblivious. I was feeling all sorry for myself and wrote about it in my journal. We're supposed to meet for dinner on Thursday. I'm thinking about reading him some of what I wrote, but I'm scurred :lol:

In other news...
Guy4 and I went out for pizza on Sunday. He was late because he fell asleep :rolleyes: We had a nice convo though. I just feel friendly with him, not any kind of romantic connection :ohwell:

Guy3 and I met last week and were going to see a show but it was sold out so we had frozen custard and then played Mario Kart on his Wii :lol: He wants to meet again this week but I don't know if I'll even have time.

Guy5 has stopped texting me. I think I wasn't answering fast enough for him. I'm not a big texter (this is something else guy1 mentioned). *shrug*

Oh and the guy whose okc message I responded to recently (likes my favorite author) wants to meet. I guess that makes him guy6, but we'll see.

I feel the fatigue creeping in...I need to dial this okc business down a bit.

My parents are visiting this weekend--maybe I'll just whine to my mommy :lol:
 
Date last night was interesting. Idk if he liked me or not. Was extraordinarily couteous and polite tho which is nice. I will let him initiate contact. Think I might have been too much of a motor mouth for him tho. Lol
 
This guy messaged me: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Denvette

I've been messaging with this cute, kinda-nerdy, white musician. He takes forever to respond though. Enough time goes by in between messages that I've already assumed he moved on by the time he sends another one. Idk if he just doesn't sign on often... or if something else is going on. I refuse to look at his profile to see if he's signing in because I don't want him to think I'm e-stalking... or e-attached.
 
Dang....this stuff is getting annoying.....one more came back after disappearing. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.....smh....but did talk to a guy for almost two hours just now...we shall see....At one point today I was messaging Three different dudes....SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER TIME!!!!!!........I'm getting practice...:lachen:
 
Why NOT to talk for weeks before meeting

Let me start by telling you the end of the story.........

I received 2 abusive texts tellng me I am a bit*h, that he hopes God punishes me, that I am deciever, I wasted nearly a month of his life and....that is his female best friend wanted to beat me up because I have destroyed on of God's special people. :ohwell:

We talked for 2 weks because our schedules clashed but when i suggested we meet for a quick coffee then go on a proper date he declined saying that I was very special and that he wanted to do this properly.
Over the 2 weeks the man near wante to walk me down the aisle. He got emotional a few times and told me he was crying. I could hear him sniffing.
Kept talking about how our dd's would really get along.
I wasn't all that attracted to his picture but i thought i wouldn't be shallow and go with it but the Red Flags were drip feeding in.

I told him, no begged him to not get emotionally invested in me as we really need to meet up but he ignored me saying that on every level we were a match.....and to a great degree he was right.

He talked and talked and talked for hours nearly every evening. Sometimes I didn't answer the phone because i don't have that amount of time on my hands.

Oh and towards the end of our 2 week convo he became very crude with his jokes...a little below the belt.

Anyway we met up and he as UGLY. Not a da*n thing I was attracted to...but he dressed nicely and had a nice car :look:.
During dinner he drowned me in crude comments or jokes. I adressed this with him and he apologised and said he was nervous then added that we 'already' know each other so feels comfortable is saying certain things.

We walked for a bit and he we saw a very young girl (about 16 years old). She was wearing a pair of knickers for hot pants...yes, like french knickers. I said that it was a shame the way girls were dressing these days and that I was afraid for her safety. He said, 'I hope she shaved'.
I was offended and told him so adding that we both have daughters so how could that be the first thing to fall out of his mouth. He said it was just a joke blah blah blah.
I explained to him that this is a first date and I am now thinking that I couldn't take him anywhere for fear he say awful, crude stuff outloud, like infront of family and friends. This discussion went on for a whole hour in his car and he ended up tearful and rubbing my hand saying he didn't want to lose me. I told him maybe i overracted and mayb he should drive me back to my car. I wasn't about to dump him there and then.

We said our goodbyes and he called me on Sunday to say the date was so wonderful blah blah blah.

Yesterday I text him very very politely to say that perhaps we shouldn't have spoken for so long as we are really not a match and I wished him all the best.

Lord, he then sent texts with the contents above.

Emotionally unstable, delusional, weird and ugly to boot.....i dodged a bullet.
 
Re: Why NOT to talk for weeks before meeting

Bublin said:
Let me start by telling you the end of the story.........

I received 2 abusive texts tellng me I am a bit*h, that he hopes God punishes me, that I am deciever, I wasted nearly a month of his life and....that is his female best friend wanted to beat me up because I have destroyed on of God's special people. :ohwell:

We talked for 2 weks because our schedules clashed but when i suggested we meet for a quick coffee then go on a proper date he declined saying that I was very special and that he wanted to do this properly.
Over the 2 weeks the man near wante to walk me down the aisle. He got emotional a few times and told me he was crying. I could hear him sniffing.
Kept talking about how our dd's would really get along.
I wasn't all that attracted to his picture but i thought i wouldn't be shallow and go with it but the Red Flags were drip feeding in.

I told him, no begged him to not get emotionally invested in me as we really need to meet up but he ignored me saying that on every level we were a match.....and to a great degree he was right.

He talked and talked and talked for hours nearly every evening. Sometimes I didn't answer the phone because i don't have that amount of time on my hands.

Oh and towards the end of our 2 week convo he became very crude with his jokes...a little below the belt.

Anyway we met up and he as UGLY. Not a da*n thing I was attracted to...but he dressed nicely and had a nice car :look:.
During dinner he drowned me in crude comments or jokes. I adressed this with him and he apologised and said he was nervous then added that we 'already' know each other so feels comfortable is saying certain things.

We walked for a bit and he we saw a very young girl (about 16 years old). She was wearing a pair of knickers for hot pants...yes, like french knickers. I said that it was a shame the way girls were dressing these days and that I was afraid for her safety. He said, 'I hope she shaved'.
I was offended and told him so adding that we both have daughters so how could that be the first thing to fall out of his mouth. He said it was just a joke blah blah blah.
I explained to him that this is a first date and I am now thinking that I couldn't take him anywhere for fear he say awful, crude stuff outloud, like infront of family and friends. This discussion went on for a whole hour in his car and he ended up tearful and rubbing my hand saying he didn't want to lose me. I told him maybe i overracted and mayb he should drive me back to my car. I wasn't about to dump him there and then.

We said our goodbyes and he called me on Sunday to say the date was so wonderful blah blah blah.

Yesterday I text him very very politely to say that perhaps we shouldn't have spoken for so long as we are really not a match and I wished him all the best.

Lord, he then sent texts with the contents above.

Emotionally unstable, delusional, weird and ugly to boot.....i dodged a bullet.
Click to expand...

You did dodge a bullet. I am glad you made it through that unscathed. Sounds like you met one of those crazies I usually meet. I'm glad you talked to him for weeks before meeting though. If you had only talked a day or two and then went out, you may have not seen all of the warning signs and not gotten out as fast. Maybe. Hope your next date is better. :yep:
 
Re: Why NOT to talk for weeks before meeting

Bublin said:
Let me start by telling you the end of the story.........

I received 2 abusive texts tellng me I am a bit*h, that he hopes God punishes me, that I am deciever, I wasted nearly a month of his life and....that is his female best friend wanted to beat me up because I have destroyed on of God's special people. :ohwell:

We talked for 2 weks because our schedules clashed but when i suggested we meet for a quick coffee then go on a proper date he declined saying that I was very special and that he wanted to do this properly.
Over the 2 weeks the man near wante to walk me down the aisle. He got emotional a few times and told me he was crying. I could hear him sniffing.
Click to expand...

...was he nigerian?
 
Re: Why NOT to talk for weeks before meeting

faithVA said:
You did dodge a bullet. I am glad you made it through that unscathed. Sounds like you met one of those crazies I usually meet. I'm glad you talked to him for weeks before meeting though. If you had only talked a day or two and then went out, you may have not seen all of the warning signs and not gotten out as fast. Maybe. Hope your next date is better. :yep:
Click to expand...

Yes, that is agood way to look at it. I got to really know him and the date confirmed it all.

meesch said:
...was he nigerian?
Click to expand...

Nope. Both parents Jamaican.
 
Last edited:
Bublin said:
Let me start by telling you the end of the story.........

I received 2 abusive texts tellng me I am a bit*h, that he hopes God punishes me, that I am deciever, I wasted nearly a month of his life and....that is his female best friend wanted to beat me up because I have destroyed on of God's special people. :ohwell:

We talked for 2 weks because our schedules clashed but when i suggested we meet for a quick coffee then go on a proper date he declined saying that I was very special and that he wanted to do this properly.
Over the 2 weeks the man near wante to walk me down the aisle. He got emotional a few times and told me he was crying. I could hear him sniffing.
Kept talking about how our dd's would really get along.
I wasn't all that attracted to his picture but i thought i wouldn't be shallow and go with it but the Red Flags were drip feeding in.

I told him, no begged him to not get emotionally invested in me as we really need to meet up but he ignored me saying that on every level we were a match.....and to a great degree he was right.

He talked and talked and talked for hours nearly every evening. Sometimes I didn't answer the phone because i don't have that amount of time on my hands.

Oh and towards the end of our 2 week convo he became very crude with his jokes...a little below the belt.

Anyway we met up and he as UGLY. Not a da*n thing I was attracted to...but he dressed nicely and had a nice car :look:.
During dinner he drowned me in crude comments or jokes. I adressed this with him and he apologised and said he was nervous then added that we 'already' know each other so feels comfortable is saying certain things.

We walked for a bit and he we saw a very young girl (about 16 years old). She was wearing a pair of knickers for hot pants...yes, like french knickers. I said that it was a shame the way girls were dressing these days and that I was afraid for her safety. He said, 'I hope she shaved'.
I was offended and told him so adding that we both have daughters so how could that be the first thing to fall out of his mouth. He said it was just a joke blah blah blah.
I explained to him that this is a first date and I am now thinking that I couldn't take him anywhere for fear he say awful, crude stuff outloud, like infront of family and friends. This discussion went on for a whole hour in his car and he ended up tearful and rubbing my hand saying he didn't want to lose me. I told him maybe i overracted and mayb he should drive me back to my car. I wasn't about to dump him there and then.

We said our goodbyes and he called me on Sunday to say the date was so wonderful blah blah blah.

Yesterday I text him very very politely to say that perhaps we shouldn't have spoken for so long as we are really not a match and I wished him all the best.

Lord, he then sent texts with the contents above.

Emotionally unstable, delusional, weird and ugly to boot.....i dodged a bullet.
Click to expand...

I have a crazy story that's sort of similar to this. I'm at work now so I will type it up later when I get home.
 
So I'm messaging this guy back and forth and I ask what he means by 'Business Admin' as his occupation.
He replies that he runs a business for a retail company.
So I say he would have to explain exactly what he means by 'run a business' because to a simpleton like me Admin means filing and running errands :look:.

He messages back saying that he is Store Manager for Iceland (a budget food store here in the UK) :ohwell:.

The quality of black men in their 30's here in London is just abismal.

Next...........
 
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This dude messaged me on okcupid. Looked at his profile
The six things I could never do without
Drink, Cheat on my lady, and make bad hits in music I pray lol.
Click to expand...

Should I tell him he should reconsider his answers?
 
Oasis- Gurl, you ain't never lied! This man was FINE!!!!!!!! I mean, chocolate, bald, 6'4" with a banging body and gorgeous smile...I was floored :lol: I had to ask why he hid his photos :lachen::lachen: He was also intelligent, well educated, and Christian. He had me thinking what's the catch?! He just moved to town a few weeks ago & we met up that same day we connected...I figured out his issue though! He is EXTREMELY sarcastic, bordering on mean. I told him so at the end of the date (that lasted 45 minutes lol). He apologized and asked for another chance, but I'm not sold. I think we just might not be compatible...he hurt my feelings with some careless comments. I'm too sensitive to be dealing with a critical and sarcastic man SMH Funny and kind-hearted is more my speed :yep:

P.S. Why are the ones who are perfect on paper always the biggest disappointments/the most incompatible?! :lol:
 
Bublin said:
So I'm messaging this guy back and forth and I ask what he means by 'Business Admin' as his occupation.
He replies that he runs a business for a retail company.
So I say he would have to explain exactly what he means by 'run a business' because to a simpleton like me Admin means filing and running errands :look:.

He messages back saying that he is Store Manager for Iceland (a budget food store here in the UK) :ohwell:.

The quality of black men in their 30's here in London is just abismal.

Next...........
Click to expand...

What's wrong with a store manager? Or is it that he wasn't straight forward with telling you?
 
Ok, both profiles are disabled for awhile, was starting to become a daily habit :spinning:

I've finally cut folks back and narrowed the field to 3.

Guy 1 and I have crazy physical chemistry, like :blush: but our personalities and viewpoints tend to clash.

Guy 2 is "in the music industry":perplexed and lives with his mom who has health problems but we talk for hours and hours, he's really interesting, sweet guy and I love music so it's fun to pick his brain plus I'm physically attracted to him.

Guy 3 I hope to meet in person tomorrow, he's educated, successful, good looking and fun to talk to. He has 3 kids though :ohwell: I have 3 kids too so I'm not saying it's a bad thing but it will severely limit our time together. It's part of the reason we haven't met in person yet.

I started this for fun, have no intentions of getting into a full blown relationship...will be interesting to see how this all plays out. Guys 1 and 2 have both talked about exclusivity at some point in the future:spinning: I just said we'll see:look:
 
UGH! What does it mean when you have gone on a date with a guy twice and he puts his profile back up.

I went out with him twice, his profile was hidden for a little while and I'm thinking cool mine is too so we are really liking each other. The last date was this past Sunday and he asked to see me again this weekend. I was waiting to hear from him by Wednesday to set up a date and time, but nada. So I contact him today with a text of Hi :). I got home and went to see if he put his profile back up, sure enough it's back up. I checked it this morning and it wasn't there. Why did he put it back up, especially after I text him today? Is he sending me a passive aggressive kiss off? :spinning:
 
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