***Online Dating Support Thread***

GoddessMaker said:
So I cancelled my POF account.I wasn't getting any hits at all.I don't know maybe being fat trying to date men not thugs is illegal and I wasn't notified.I would only get emails from trolls never the nice guy unless I started it and even then it was something like oh thanks and that would be the end of it.

I'm hopeless ladies,all I want is a nice guy who is caring,nice and can be patient.I want a baby and I'm starting to think maybe I should lower my ideal or just take whatever comes my way now as it seems I'm not lucky or blessed in the dating dept.I don't know if its a sign that I'm not made to be loved intimately and I should just stop wanting what I may never have.

I have been a bit down that last few days and this just slaps me down a bit more...Im happy for you ladies who are getting some nice hits and going on dates.
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Hey...I'm skinny and dont nobody want me either.:look: I'm thinking of lowering my standards too, but I'm trying to wait at least 3 more years so no one can't say I didn't try. :lachen:

Cheer up girl! You are not alone in this, trust me :kiss:
 
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Goddess Maker would you be willing to try match?

I don't have any experience with POF but I read somewhere that POF have been providing guys with Plenty of Sex, it seems to attract a certain ummm caliber, match seems like it would be a better bet for what you are looking for, HTH.
 
yeh i use a google vm number tht goes directly to my phone.

im wonderin how i can put it in my profile nicely that i don't want any bald guys. i want men with hair:lol:
 
Thank you ladies for the pick me up.The dudes at work are one who is 53 yrs old and I even tinkered with the idea since we flirt alot.

The other is a janitor at the center I work for.I try not to judge anyone basis one's occupation.I mean he could have other things to do on the side.But he always says hello beauitful every time he sees me..like yesterday he said that and there was another lady sitting near and we both said hello then he repositioned him self to where he was looking dead at me like a sly way to say I wasnt talking to the other chick I was speaking to you.

I may look at match since you ladies have had some mad success on it.
 
Sooooo I'm about to give up on okcupid. All 3 of the guys I decided to take to the "next" level and text have turned out MEH. One was real cool personality-wise, and we had good conversation even via text, but then he started talking about his "music" and I obliged initially and listened to his songs on his FB artist page (he was actually pretty good), but then he kept bringing it up, so I got annoyed and stopped replying, and he hasn't texted me since, lol. The other 2 seem a lot more easy going, one of them sort of nerdy, and both have asked me to go out. I told both maybe. Both kept texting me a ton all day, and anyone who knows me IRL knows I am a SLOW responder sometimes when it comes to texts......a lot of times I read a message and then get distracted and go do something else. Plus, I do not use my phone while I am at work. I keep it on silent/pager and stowed away in my purse. So a lot of the times when they texted me in the morning I didn't answer until like the late afternoon or evening, and one even asked me if I was annoyed by him. Lol. It's kind of made me realize maybe I come off as too busy or unreachable. Anyway, I'm kind of annoyed by neediness.

I just hate when people expect you to drop everything you're doing or whatever to reply, or they become super insecure if you don't answer right away. I feel like work is a valid reason. Because of my job, I am literally busy almost the entire time I'm there. Other than when I'm on night shifts, I don't really have periods of down time where I'm like I SHOULD TEXT PPL!!! So the way I figure it, if these dudes can't understand that, oh well.

I don't want to give up, but.....I just am skeptical I'm gonna find a decent guy. Someone who is not crazy needy, who is good conversation, who is stable, and patient enough to wait until I am comfortable to meet face to face. Maybe it's just me, but I find the idea of meeting a stranger off of the internet something serious.

Do I need to stop being so critical about this? I mean, how long do you ladies wait before you face-to-face meet up with a guy? :ohwell:

sylver2 said:
i just joined match.com last night around 9. already i have 318 profile views, 50 emails, 65 winks. wth..these dudes that thirsty for new fish :lol: im almost turned off. 1 dude was like ooh you new and fresh around these parts, as if he's been there for years ..rotting:perplexed: :lachen:
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LOL.....hilarious! Thank you for the laugh.:lol:
 
im different, i like to meet them in person immediately!!! don't like to have back & forth text/email/phone convo which builds up all types of stuff(expectations).
out of 100 i would narrow it down to the top 2 i like,then a couple emails and bam meetup the next week and go from there. i need that in person vibe b4 im able to waste time & take it further.
 
I swear that I am not the best grammar wise but dude... Did you really put "woundering"? I can't get with that! :nono: NEXT!!!!!!!!!
 
sylver2 said:
im different, i like to meet them in person immediately!!! don't like to have back & forth text/email/phone convo which builds up all types of stuff(expectations).
out of 100 i would narrow it down to the top 2 i like,then a couple emails and bam meetup the next week and go from there. i need that in person vibe b4 im able to waste time & take it further.
Click to expand...

This is me! When I first started online dating I made the mistake of letting the back and forth thing go on for a few weeks, then when I finally met them in person...huge let down! :perplexed .

You are right about building up all these expectations along the way. You try not to but you just can't help it..especially when then is still a lot to be left up to our own imagination and vision of this person. It happened to me 2 times and after that I was all about meeting as quickly as possible which always surprises the guy but I'm like "there is no need for us to be possibly wasting each others time".
 
I don't like the back and forth either, especially via text/e-mail. It's worked out better if I meet the guy sooner, rather than later.

I've met a few great guys online via Craigslist in the last couple if years. Friends with 2 (good friends with 1), dated another long-term until I moved.

Had an amazing time with a guy that completely blew me away today. I met him through Craigslist. I mean, it was like someone read my journal or my mind and then presented me with my ideal man. It was really profound.

This was after feeling like the above poster. Like, I'll try for a few years and then, maybe lower my standards a little. Problem is my standards revolve around lit/philosophy/family values. I was listening to music and getting sad, but then snapped out of it and repeated some positive affirmations about love.

It's only been one date, but it feels right. :o)
 
for those that are meeting people from craigslist: are you putting up the ad or responding?
 
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EtherealEnigma said:
I don't like the back and forth either, especially via text/e-mail. It's worked out better if I meet the guy sooner, rather than later.

I've met a few great guys online via Craigslist in the last couple if years. Friends with 2 (good friends with 1), dated another long-term until I moved.

Had an amazing time with a guy that completely blew me away today. I met him through Craigslist. I mean, it was like someone read my journal or my mind and then presented me with my ideal man. It was really profound.

This was after feeling like the above poster. Like, I'll try for a few years and then, maybe lower my standards a little. Problem is my standards revolve around lit/philosophy/family values. I was listening to music and getting sad, but then snapped out of it and repeated some positive affirmations about love.

It's only been one date, but it feels right. :o)
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Thanks! I've actually met great guys off CL. My last two BF's were from CL and I've dated two other great guys from there. People give me the side eye when I suggest CL, BUT it really does take patience and knowing how to "read" the ads properly and avoid the subtle and definitely obvious hints at anything undesirable. I'm glad to know someone else has found decent guys on there too. So, then there were two, LOL.
 
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Oasis said:
for those that are people people from craigslist: are you putting up the ad or responding?
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I'll tell you what I USED to do. I'm not on there anymore.

But, I only used to respond. There may be other ladies who have put up ads, but I personally didn't want to be bombarded with a million emails and fishing through them for a decent guy. Plus, since it's free, I didn't want my pic plastered up there, although you don't have to put your pic up there; it's just that most men are visual and you could possibly do better with a pic.

Funnily enough though, I don't think any of the guys that I contacted had pics. BUT, I liked what they had to say and something about their ad stood out and appealed to me. But you have to be careful on CL, there are certain buzz words and sentence structure that I have learned to discern when someone is possibly serious or just looking for sex, when some guys aren't for real (like his profile reads like Prince Charming and in his pic he's model-esque---generally, those aren't real), or someone is just totally undesirable.

Hopefully some ladies who have posted ads will respond.
 
@Mummys Girl - I can't answer that but i met a great guy on Plenty of Fish. I met a total of 4 guys. The 3rd guy was lovely but just too boring for me! The forth guy is great and we have both deleted our profiles. Lots of choice on that site including lots of black guys. Hope that helps.
 
my coffee date went well, well it turned out not to be a coffee date, he was hungry so we went to a restaurant instead. We was attractive (though he clearly had a tan in his pics lol) and intelligent. We had great getting to know you convo, so far so good.
 
So what's the rule, a guy has given me his # and says he hopes he's not moving too fast - wants me to call him. I don't feel any pressure from him, I think he'd call me if I asked him to.

So should the guy call first? I set up a dummy Skype account and I also have FaceTime. Help a sista out, I have been off the market for so long I don't even know what to do any more! :lol:

ETA: I briefly looked at CL, but was so turned off by all the explicit warnings. I lasted about 30 seconds on that site. :nono: I'm shocked anybody is able to find someone looking for a serious relationship there.
 
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LOL @ this (Lovestruck):

"Hello! Stumbled across your profile and I couldn't resist writing to you. I find "selling myself" in few lines to find a potential "especial friend"/partner somewhat unnatural, though am in HR consultant! *smile* In short, I am well-traveled with huge diversity & backgrounds in every sense including professional sport and massage theropy. I been described as extremely open-minded, fun- loving, witty and adventurous. I have been single for just over 2 years, focusing on my career which I managed well but had neglected an important part of my happiness on the process. Without a doubt, it's the time to share some quality time and plenty of fun & banters with quality lady; Who knows what the future holds if both of us are in the right frame of mind. Oh yeah, and did I mention that dancing floor is my second home!? *smile* There are plenty of me to offer & share but I'd let you to get glance of me through my profile & plenty more over coffee/drink/meal which I am inviting you to on a time that suits you. Please feel free to drop me a line or text on 07960 *** *** and we can take it from there. Yours hugs, Yahya x"

:rolleyes::lachen:
 
sylver2 said:
im different, i like to meet them in person immediately!!! don't like to have back & forth text/email/phone convo which builds up all types of stuff(expectations).
out of 100 i would narrow it down to the top 2 i like,then a couple emails and bam meetup the next week and go from there. i need that in person vibe b4 im able to waste time & take it further.
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Exactly...
I just joined BPM... and if come across someone i'm interested in, we'll need to chat on the phone quickly. From the phone alone and the way he speaks I'll have an idea if I want to go further. From the phone we'll def need to meet up. I agree.. I think the longer you speak to someone before meeting them, you'll both tend to project these expectations that you have for your 'ideal' mate and you'll be even more disappointed if you meet the dude and it's a flop.
 
Ok, I created my Match profile today. I'm feeling pretty optimistic about the whole online dating thing, though I've tried OKCupid before and let's just say that did not work out so well for me.

We'll see how this goes!
 
yeh i cancelled my match after only 1 month..lol. Im waay to picky. i had over 200 winks & emails and maybe liked 1. I noticed that a couple guys i did like were not interested in Black women. They would have every ethnicity checked for their mate except for black..lol.
 
I feel like because most men that I've seen have a relatively short distance set ( <30 miles), I don't even come up in most of their searches, especially in the area that I'm in. Any one else notice that? The thing is, I don't even plan on staying in this area and am open to those in the DMV where I'm from. I'm thinking of initiating some messages but I don't know the best way to do that. Tips?
 
:lachen:

From some fool's profile that just emailed me:

need some body that can take care me and my kids. love sport and like going out with me to the movie and hang out have fun and have blast with different she got be fine and look good to me have a car and own place

:lol:

then

:sad:
 
SuchMagnificance said:
:lachen:

From some fool's profile that just emailed me:

need some body that can take care me and my kids. love sport and like going out with me to the movie and hang out have fun and have blast with different she got be fine and look good to me have a car and own place

:lol:

then

:sad:
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:nono: Really? :ohwell:
 
Sound like a POF kneegro. :rolleyes:

Probably messaged you something like, "heY betifull, i lik yoll smile. can i git 2 no u betta"


:nono:

Oh, how I love online dating. Great for humor.
 
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