***Online Dating Support Thread***

MizAvalon said:
I have to agree with this wholeheartedly. For a long time, I only had face shots because I live alone and I was taking the pictures myself. A couple of months ago, I put up a couple of full length shots that someone else took of me when I was going out on the town, all dolled up and the response has been overwhelming. The quality AND quantity of men that contact me now has gone way up. I know it's because of those two pictures because the other ones are the same ones that I was using all along.
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:yep::yep: Yep. Men are visual creatures and I believe the better quality men want women who take care of their bodies (they say as much in their profiles), so this is ONE of the major things that will put you at an advantage.
 
lushcoils said:
^^^
Usually a lot of views. Sometimes no or only a small amount of views. 1 or 2 messages at the most. Usually no message though from my updates.
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I don't know what to say. As I said before, I just threw something together at the spur of the moment and within that week between the "Want to Meet You" and the messages, I got between 30-35 men. Many of them seemed to be professional men but many of them were not my type, plus one was married and another was just weird. I had to take my profile down because I really won't have time to actually start meeting up with people until February because of projects I'm doing around the house, but I know when I go back on there with a full body pic, dressed conservatively showing a full body pic, the response rate will increase.

Umm, how do I ask this, but, er, uh, are you considered to be "attractive" by others?:look:
 
Question:

Do you all run into a lot of serial on-line daters? Like, men who just troll ALL the internet dating sites to meet a lot of women? I think that one of the men who had responded to me was like this and was wondering how prevalent that was.
 
RossBoss said:
:lol: What about your profile? Do you have an interesting profile? I did, and with a lot of the men that responded, they always mentioned how my profile intrigued them.
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Yea, I put what I'm currently doing with my life, interests/hobbies, goals, a few jokes, etc etc.

But many people are saying that profile content doesn't matter, because men don't read it anyway.

@Serial dating.
It seems like a lot of men just copy and paste the same message, and mail it to a lot of women to see how much women they can successfully pick up.
 
i've been talking to this guy for a few weeks on OkStupid and he seems really nice. a little older than i'd like and he only had one picture. he wasn't my type but he looked decent. so anyway he asked me out this weekend and i agreed. i decided to check his profile last night to see if he put more pictures up so i could get a better look and he did. my reaction to those new pics? :lol::barf::nono::ohwell::cry::mad::lol:

why did i agree to go out with him? i think i'm just gonna delete my profile for good and call it a day.

i feel kinda bad :look: (ok, not really) *shrugs* by why waste my time with someone i'm not attracted to?
 
Oasis said:
i've been talking to this guy for a few weeks on OkStupid and he seems really nice. a little older than i'd like and he only had one picture. he wasn't my type but he looked decent. so anyway he asked me out this weekend and i agreed. i decided to check his profile last night to see if he put more pictures up so i could get a better look and he did. my reaction to those new pics? :lol::barf::nono::ohwell::cry::mad::lol:

why did i agree to go out with him? i think i'm just gonna delete my profile for good and call it a day.

i feel kinda bad :look: (ok, not really) *shrugs* by why waste my time with someone i'm not attracted to?
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Oh no! :nono: :rofl:

Um...if it was that bad I would have to cancel. But I can't really say without seeing the picture. :look: Does he have your phone number? If not then it will be real easy to just email him & say that it's not going to work out, you met someone else, etc. I definitely agree that you shouldn't date someone you're not attracted to. But I will admit that my SO did not look all that in his pics, but I loved talking to him so much that I went out with him anyway. Thank God he looked better in person. :look: :lol:
 
Oasis said:
i've been talking to this guy for a few weeks on OkStupid and he seems really nice. a little older than i'd like and he only had one picture. he wasn't my type but he looked decent. so anyway he asked me out this weekend and i agreed. i decided to check his profile last night to see if he put more pictures up so i could get a better look and he did. my reaction to those new pics? :lol::barf::nono::ohwell::cry::mad::lol:

why did i agree to go out with him? i think i'm just gonna delete my profile for good and call it a day.

i feel kinda bad :look: (ok, not really) *shrugs* by why waste my time with someone i'm not attracted to?
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That's what I did. Last week, I put my profile up on AfroRomance, Soul Singles and Locate your love. I did get a number of, however, my reaction to the guys who contacted was :nono: - Is that all there is? Afro Romance was the worst of the lot. I deleted all three accounts on Friday. Maybe I'll try again when the weather gets warmer. I'm too thru with my short stint at online dating. If I'm honest with myself tho, i really don't think i'm ready to date...
 
How soon do you all give out your full name/email address? I'm not a member of any of these sites but I do have an app on my ipod...I used my middle name. I'm thinking of using Face Time with guys I first meet either in person or online, but I was wondering about the safety of them knowing my email address because it includes my full name.

Or am I being overly cautious? :lol:

A couple guys have been asking for my number but that ain't happening yet. :nono:
 
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Butterfly08 said:
How soon do you all give out your full name/email address? I'm not a member of any of these sites but I do have an app on my ipod...I used my middle name. I'm thinking of using Face Time with guys I first meet either in person or online, but I was wondering about the safety of them knowing my email address because it includes my full name.

Or am I being overly cautious? :lol:

A couple guys have been asking for my number but that ain't happening yet. :nono:
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No such thing as too careful. :nono: I don't give out my real name until after we've talked for a while and we're on the first date! Nicknames or middle names are fine. :yep: I use an alternate email too. Make up a new one on yahoo. call it peachykeen18 or something, who cares lol. Better that than randoms getting your real name so they can spokeo.com you. :nono:
 
^^How do you communicate then - since you say you speak with them several times before giving out your name? My apple id is already connected to my primary email address so I think it will show up?

You know it's a good thing I read this thread, with guys I meet IRL I do give them my name (not my #) or they will give me their name and ask me to add them on FB. I set up a Skype acct though just for meeting new guys so I'm gonna do better in the future about protecting myself.
 
Butterfly08 said:
^^How do you communicate then - since you say you speak with them several times before giving out your name? My apple id is already connected to my primary email address so I think it will show up?

You know it's a good thing I read this thread, with guys I meet IRL I do give them my name (not my #) or they will give me their name and ask me to add them on FB. I set up a Skype acct though just for meeting new guys so I'm gonna do better in the future about protecting myself.
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I email or IM (yahoo, msn aim), with a nickname. I'm a very talkative person, I can talk on the internet for weeks :lol: It's usually very easy for me to tell whether I will like a guy enough to date him. We can set up the date in email or IMs and if I like the guy a lot I may give my cell number to make it easier to meet up. Twice I've been able to have that first date without giving my number, dudes were punctual and I met them right in front of the restaurant.

I don't add people i just met on facebook. :nono: All you need is one dippy friend to friend that guy you barely know and then you'll NEVER be rid of him :lol:
 
Well i have been on my 4th date with a guy i met online and we are really liking each other. On Saturday we went to his work function and he introduced me to all his work mates. Since the venue was closer to his address i offered to pick him up and so that way i got to see where he lives. He did invite me in but as we were running late i suggested another time but i didn't drop him back home till 5am so i didn't get to see his home that night!!!

This relationship has potential and i'm enjoying.
 
runwaydream said:
ETA: I get a lot of responses from cL. I'm not interested in most of those guys but there are a lot of quality ones that write me too. unfortunately i keep getting flagged. i'm not sure why bc im not bashing anyone. i re wrote my last one and it stayed up for quite awhile, but this one (which is the same exact thing reposted) just keeps getting flagged. i tried twice already. i think cL should change it to where they review the ad first b4 they actually take it down. these little sensitive arse boys keep playin games on here tryin to flag every girl who's criteria they dont meet, or who rejects them. and in the end all that happens is theres hardly any female ads up anymore. boys are so stupid. they want women..but then they make it difficult for them to actually GET women riiiiight. that's a smart move. idiots.
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:rofl: i just put up an ad and it was flagged a few hours later. i have no idea why. my friend said i came off as rude and confident. i didn't know being rude and confident was against the rules on CL. all i said was do not be delusional about your level of attractiveness.:look: i guess that was too much.:lachen:
 
Oasis said:
:rofl: i just put up an ad and it was flagged a few hours later. i have no idea why. my friend said i came off as rude and confident. i didn't know being rude and confident was against the rules on CL. all i said was do not be delusional about your level of attractiveness.:look: i guess that was too much.:lachen:
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Yep, it's really common. My guy friends admitted they do flag ads of girls they like after they email them. It doesn't matter what you said in the ad. If they want to date you, they are going to do whatever they can to keep you from getting emails from other guys.:nono:
 
i just joined match.com last night around 9. already i have 318 profile views, 50 emails, 65 winks. wth..these dudes that thirsty for new fish :lol: im almost turned off. 1 dude was like ooh you new and fresh around these parts, as if he's been there for years ..rotting:perplexed: :lachen:
 
Daeuiel said:
Yep, it's really common. My guy friends admitted they do flag ads of girls they like after they email them. It doesn't matter what you said in the ad. If they want to date you, they are going to do whatever they can to keep you from getting emails from other guys.:nono:
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wow :lol: i didn't even stop to think it was someone who'd already emailed me. guys are such interesting creatures.:drunk:

but you would think someone would check to see if the post was actually violating the terms.
 
Oasis said:
wow :lol: i didn't even stop to think it was someone who'd already emailed me. guys are such interesting creatures.:drunk:

but you would think someone would check to see if the post was actually violating the terms.
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We WISH there was someone on a free website with thousands of ads in hundreds of categories, whose job is to check the validity of every flag or complaint about an ad. Nope. :ohwell:
 
so I read every email and replied with either a no thanks or thank u. Every single one was respectful in their intro except for one. His first email is Hey Baby lets chat..wth. so I just send him a no thank u good luck on your search generated response. This fool emails back..oh I see u looking for Denzel Washington huh? So I reply back that No Denzel is not my type. I like who I like and that's that. He replys back with 'Picky a.s.s nicca' :ohwell:
So i responded with 'Bitter a.s.s nicca'
what an A-hole. I know he ain't gettin any play.
if u are on Match his name is Cancer5000000 ladies :lachen:
 
sylver2 said:
so I read every email and replied with either a no thanks or thank u. Every single one was respectful in their intro except for one. His first email is Hey Baby lets chat..wth. so I just send him a no thank u good luck on your search generated response. This fool emails back..oh I see u looking for Denzel Washington huh? So I reply back that No Denzel is not my type. I like who I like and that's that. He replys back with 'Picky a.s.s nicca' :ohwell:
So i responded with 'Bitter a.s.s nicca'
what an A-hole. I know he ain't gettin any play.
if u are on Match his name is Cancer5000000 ladies :lachen:
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Wow, there's always one. :nono: Good response though, that's something I would have said! :lol:
 
sylver2 said:
i just joined match.com last night around 9. already i have 318 profile views, 50 emails, 65 winks. wth..these dudes that thirsty for new fish :lol: im almost turned off. 1 dude was like ooh you new and fresh around these parts, as if he's been there for years ..rotting:perplexed: :lachen:
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This was my experience when I was a member of Match last summer. Unfortunately, I do believe some of these guys are on there have been there a LONGGGGG and are just trolling for new women. Some of the men that contacted me were thirsty as hell :nono:
 
So I cancelled my POF account.I wasn't getting any hits at all.I don't know maybe being fat trying to date men not thugs is illegal and I wasn't notified.I would only get emails from trolls never the nice guy unless I started it and even then it was something like oh thanks and that would be the end of it.

I'm hopeless ladies,all I want is a nice guy who is caring,nice and can be patient.I want a baby and I'm starting to think maybe I should lower my ideal or just take whatever comes my way now as it seems I'm not lucky or blessed in the dating dept.I don't know if its a sign that I'm not made to be loved intimately and I should just stop wanting what I may never have.

I have been a bit down that last few days and this just slaps me down a bit more...Im happy for you ladies who are getting some nice hits and going on dates.
 
^^
I don't think it has to do with being fat. I'm skinny and the thugs on POF keep bothering me. Non-thug guys won't send a message for some reason. I even put a picture of myself with natural hair to try to deter the thugs and attract the more intellectual types, but nope. Nada.

Didn't you say you were turning heads at your new job? What about those men? Maybe focus more on men in real life.
 
Butterfly08 said:
How soon do you all give out your full name/email address? I'm not a member of any of these sites but I do have an app on my ipod...I used my middle name. I'm thinking of using Face Time with guys I first meet either in person or online, but I was wondering about the safety of them knowing my email address because it includes my full name.

Or am I being overly cautious? :lol:

A couple guys have been asking for my number but that ain't happening yet. :nono:
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I usually just give guys my 1st name, it's so common...not like they can do much with it.

We are like total opposites because I give my number out right away. I hate emailing back and forth, I need to hear your voice and I like to see a guy in person before I really want to get to know him. Then again, I can block people from calling me, so if it dont work out on the blacklist you go! If I didnt have that feature on my phone I would hesitate to give my number out too :yep:

ETA: Maybe you can setup a number through google voice or something just for online dating as well as a seperate email account?
 
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I just happened to pop in here and read you ladies' experiences. Then decided to go on cl just to see what's on there. And saw a guy from my school who wanted to take someone to this ethiopian place I've always wanted to go to just because he wants something to do on his day off. Sounds fun.....too bad I have a bf :sad: lol

Well I'm off to read the rest of the thread!
 
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GoddessMaker said:
So I cancelled my POF account.I wasn't getting any hits at all.I don't know maybe being fat trying to date men not thugs is illegal and I wasn't notified.I would only get emails from trolls never the nice guy unless I started it and even then it was something like oh thanks and that would be the end of it.

I'm hopeless ladies,all I want is a nice guy who is caring,nice and can be patient.I want a baby and I'm starting to think maybe I should lower my ideal or just take whatever comes my way now as it seems I'm not lucky or blessed in the dating dept.I don't know if its a sign that I'm not made to be loved intimately and I should just stop wanting what I may never have.

I have been a bit down that last few days and this just slaps me down a bit more...Im happy for you ladies who are getting some nice hits and going on dates.
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I hope you dont lower your standards GM, a lowlife temporary man is not worth a good permanent one trust me.:yep: Do not give up! My friend was talking junk for years when I suggested he try online dating and now he's very happy with his current SO he found on a site. I really think some of you should let a friend or someone here you trust review your profiles. I wrote before sometimes an outside look helps and it cant hurt.
 
I'm just popping in. The last guy I met on match and I have been dating for 5 weeks and last week became my "boyfriend". Still like him. He is super sweet and so far a total gentleman even though attenna are still up for red flags.

All this to say I went through ALOT of loosers prior to meeting this guy. ALOT! Becareful (more careful than me, I was too nice to some of those fools) but you could find some one.

Good luck
 
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