***Online Dating Support Thread***

This guy i talking to (plan to meet next weekend) is forming an attachment with me. I have to keep reminding him that we haven't met yet. He text me a pic of himself and he is not attractive to me - a bit different to the pic on his profile.
He is intelligent, funny, great job etc, even great body.
I'm sticking with this though because i'd be doing myself a dis-service to be shallow. If he wasn't so overly keen it would be all good but it's like he has already decided that i'm the one for him.
 
belletropjolie said:
jazzerz my date idea was to stroll through our local museum exhibits....hmmm on second thought maybe that wasn't interesting enough??
Click to expand...

I like it. But, sorry, you're not my type. :)

Can you see the other date ideas?

*sigh* Am I being too picky by ignoring messages that include any of the following:

Poor grammar
Text message language
Announcements of your career and/or baby daddy status
 
Tried and failed three times with the online thing. The first guy (shorter than I liked anyway) was just...strange. Very fit, but bragged about eating the same meal plan every day for three years straight and complained about the noise and unhealthy diet in a sports bar (huh?)

The second guy was the date from hell!! Not only was he about 30 pounds heavier than his profile pic, but he BUTCHERED the English language (clearly someone else must have written his profile), he smacked when he ate, and he had TERRIBLE breath!!! The date was sooo funny I honestly thought a man in a devil suit was gonna jump out of the coat closet.

The third guy, though nice, ended up being REALLY clingy and insecure (he would go through my things), so I just said NO to cyber dating. I'm thinking of getting a puppy instead.
 
jazzerz said:
I like it. But, sorry, you're not my type. :)

Can you see the other date ideas?

*sigh* Am I being too picky by ignoring messages that include any of the following:

Poor grammar
Text message language
Announcements of your career and/or baby daddy status
Click to expand...

I don't think so because I do the same thing.....And if you send me a message saying Hello...:ohwell:
That's not gonna get a response either....
This guy just asked me why I didn't respond to his message? Who does that?
I'm laughing so hard right now......:lachen::lachen:
I started to say "because HELLO...isn't really a message!"
At least put some thought into it....

Messages I have gotten this week,
Hello...
Nice and thick how are you doin?:nono:
You are my favorite...:sad:
Hi Ms. Lady....
Kisses.....:lachen:
Hey sexy lady.....:ohwell:
Give me some money WTH?
 
belletropjolie said:
ugh soooo annoyed...no one serious has messaged me on howaboutwe.com

however, random decrepits have messaged me on okcupid
I see I'm going to need to do a lot of sifting
Click to expand...

Yours was polite! I just joined okc and one of my first messages was "Mistress, may I kiss your feet?" Lol! Lawd...the others are just random "hi". That's the whole message. Very stimulating...
 
Girls how long before you give a guy you've been messaging your number?

With all the stuff I've seen on this website, I'm thinking I may wait around a bit longer and try to find someone the old fashioned way.
 
Though I haven't met anyone yet, my pref is to actually meet quickly to not waste anyones time. Maybe a week of chatting then phone then meet asap. Ppl probably think I move too fast! However I hear nightmare stories of ppl who seemed to chat for months, then meet, then one finds the other unattractive and they never hear from them again. Sad because usually someone is already attached and feels heartbreak.

I ain't going out like that. Nope.
 
Have any of you ladies tried Eharmony or Match? I've tried OkCupid, but I've only met some real creepsters and dead-ends. My friend and I have a theory: maybe we would have more luck on a paid-subscription dating site rather than on a free site. Our logic: men looking for serious relationships may be more willing to pay for a dating site rather than someone that only wants casual encounters.
So, what do you think about our theory? Anyone have any success storied with EH or M?
 
Last edited:
bosswitch said:
Girls how long before you give a guy you've been messaging your number?

With all the stuff I've seen on this website, I'm thinking I may wait around a bit longer and try to find someone the old fashioned way.
Click to expand...

With a guy that I met online and felt pretty confident about, I waited for about a week (chatting online) then he asked me for my number/date. It didn't end up working out but I felt comfortable with that week's time frame because it gave us more time to build up things to talk about on our first date. I got a feel for his personality online, but you'll never know their actual personality until you've spent face time with them.
Why not look in both places? Continue hunting online and in public, you'll only increase your chances for meeting someone. Follow helpful online dating types, be safe and trust your judgement, you'll be okay.
 
Hi ladies! As I was reading through some of the posts in this thread, it seemed as though there were very few success stories. I guess I'm one of the lucky few that was able to have success with online dating. I met my current boyfriend on okcupid and we've been together now for 5 months. I can honestly say that I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend.

We started chatting on New Year's Eve and on January 12th we became official. I don't think I did anything special really. I just knew that when I saw his picture that he was going to be my boyfriend. Please feel free to ask me any questions and hopefully I can offer some advice!
 
crlsweetie912 said:
I don't think so because I do the same thing.....And if you send me a message saying Hello...:ohwell:
That's not gonna get a response either....
This guy just asked me why I didn't respond to his message? Who does that?
I'm laughing so hard right now......:lachen::lachen:
I started to say "because HELLO...isn't really a message!"
At least put some thought into it....

Messages I have gotten this week,
Hello...
Nice and thick how are you doin?:nono:
You are my favorite...:sad:
Hi Ms. Lady....
Kisses.....:lachen:
Hey sexy lady.....:ohwell:
Give me some money WTH?
Click to expand...

That's a d@mn shame. :nono:
 
@Applecake718

If you don't mind...
What was the first message like? Did he message you first or did you message him first? What was your computability %? What's his race? :look: What is your/his religion? What's your/his age group (early/late 20s, 30s..)? What region are you in? (NE, S, midwest, w...) What kind of pictures did you use? What was your main pic? Profile content?

Just seeing if there are any patterns, or if it's just mostly luck/timing.
 
Last edited:
lushcoils said:
@Applecake718

If you don't mind...
What was the first message like? Did he message you first or did you message him first? What was your computability %? What's his race? :look: What is your/his religion? What's your/his age group (early/late 20s, 30s..)? What region are you in? (NE, S, midwest, w...) What kind of pictures did you use? What was your main pic? Profile content?

Just seeing if there are any patterns, or if it's just mostly luck/timing.
Click to expand...

Did he message you first or did you message him first? I messaged him first. We were online at the same time, so he got a popup message alerting him that I was looking at his profile. However, he said that he probably would have messaged me first if he hadn't needed to go pick up the pizza that he ordered that night.

What was the first message like? He had a picture of him and his dog, so I said that the dog was very cute and I asked him a question about school. It was only a couple of sentences long.

What was your computability %? It was in the high 80s - something like 87% I think.

What's his race? He is Filipino, Spanish, Irish, Italian, German, French, English and Native American.

What is your/his religion? We are both non-religious.

What's your/his age group (early/late 20s, 30s..)? We are both 25 years old - born about 2 weeks apart.

What region are you in? I'm originally from NYC, but I live in Arkansas now.

What kind of pictures did you use? I think I only had 3 or 4 pictures. 2 of my pics were of me with natural hair and 2 were of me with straight hair. 2 were close up pics of my face and 2 were full length pictures. In the 2 full length pictures, I was wearing dresses. I smiled in each picture and I didn't try to be sexy or anything like that.

What was your main pic? My main pic was a picture of me with straight hair (I'm natural).

Profile content? I said that I was currently in school & what my major was, listed some of my hobbies (community service & reading), listed some movies that I liked and listed what I was looking for. I said that the main things I wanted were someone who likes to cuddle and someone who had goals in life. It was pretty broad.

My boyfriend was the 4th person I want on a date with. It took about 3 months to find him.
 
bf's coworker is a cute little teeny asian chick who met her bf on okcupid. (i normally dont think asian women are pretty :look: but shes attractive - would prob say very attractive if i was a dude) when we were talking about online dating, she said she went on 14 dates before she met her bf (bf said that she was his first date; which may or may not have been a lie, i dont know dude). and one of my friends from school who met her bf on okcupid used it for a r-e-a-l-l-y-y-y-y-y long time before she became exclusive with one person (but to be fair i think she was getting a lot of mileage [which is to say kicks] out of boning randoms).

you just have to use it for fun. i think a lot of the head against the ceiling wtf online dating going on in this thread is because people's expectations are very high while simultaneously being disparaging of the quality. you need to meet it in the middle and just CHILL OUT.

IT WILL HAPPEN.

if you are being a fun worthwhile person, you will have fun worthwhile relationships.
 
meesch & Applecake718- I completely agree. While I haven't found a long-term relationship yet from online dating, this experience has been much better from the last time I tried it :yep: Besides dealing with a couple crazies last time, I was WAY too serious about it...and I met more crazies through real life dating anyway :lol: At least this time, I could recognize them before we went out and they knew where I lived :look:

This time, I have a more laidback attitude about it and focus more on just having a good time! Surprisingly enough, the experience is more fun now because of that attitude shift :lol: Imagine that :lachen::lachen: I may, or may not, find my husband through online (or even real life dating) and I can't control that, but I can control whether I have fun during the process, so that is where my focus is :yep: I may complain or vent sometimes, but I am DETERMINED to keep a positive attitude overall and stay hopeful that God will cause this experience to be exactly what I need it to be at this time in my life! Besides, at least it has enhanced my social calendar, so I will continue on in this process until I find a relationship or it isn't fun anymore :look:

P.S. I'm always glad to hear about success stories and ladies just enjoying the process, so thanks for brightening my day :grin:
 
MizzBrown said:
I gotta go meet someone in about an hour. :look: I'm nervous as HELL!!

He's talking bout hangin' out with me all damn day. I can get enough nerve to meet his a$$ at the local Starbucks...forget hanging out all day.

*Goes off to find somethin' to wear*
Click to expand...

MMMk, so we did meetup at Starbucks and I agreed to go to the park with him. He wanted to go to dinner also and I declined.

Things were okay until the next day when I was too damn tired to meet up with him and I said something to him by text, and he took it out of context.

Then he flipped as most online dates do & I had to block his number.

That's all I'm gonna say about that! :lol: Aint no way in hell I'm telling all the details. It's just TOO much. I laugh because I'm just happy it happened sooner than later and I only wasted 6 days of talking to him.
 
first meeting today with Guy 1. Just going to starbucks, this should be interesting!
There are now a total of 4 guys, well there is a 5th guy but I don't take him too seriously (26 year old grad student moving to the area in a month) I'm like 10 years older :lol:

So anyway, I'm still waiting for guy 2 to take things offline...but he's still messaging everyday and so far so good. guy 3 and I are txting but we aren't having meaningful convos if that makes any sense. Guy 4 is cute, around my age, really nice and interesting but he's white:look:...don't have anything against it but it would be different for me, never done the IR thing before but I'm leaving the door open:yep:
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Well...lookie lookie......
You just popped back up....They always come back!!!
Enjoying this!
Click to expand...

I just had one pop up from my black planet days....lol
He is soooooo good im tempted to meet up.
 
From what I've read in this thread overall, I don't think the "negative" experiences are because women here have extremely high standards. I mean there's not much you can do with (for example) "Hello...
Nice and thick how are you doin?
You are my favorite...
Hi Ms. Lady....
Kisses.....
Hey sexy lady.....
Give me some money" type of messages or some men acting creepy on dates or disappearing. :lol:
 
I agree Lushcoils....and I think there are a lot of lurkers in here. And I bet a poll of married women on this site would show a lot of people met online. I'm not discouraged at all. It's actually getting interesting. I'm getting a lot more messages. I think Dudes wanna be booed up for the summer! :lachen:
 
lushcoils said:
From what I've read in this thread overall, I don't think the "negative" experiences are because women here have extremely high standards. I mean there's not much you can do with (for example) "Hello...
Nice and thick how are you doin?
You are my favorite...
Hi Ms. Lady....
Kisses.....
Hey sexy lady.....
Give me some money" type of messages or some men acting creepy on dates or disappearing. :lol:
Click to expand...

thats actually not what i meant. in fact, i dont know that i used the word "standards." im pretty sure i said "expectations" which is a totally different thing. what i meant is that people are EXPECTING a perfect man to sweep them off their feet while simultaneously going "there are no men internet dating except the ones that nobody wants." that's a mismatch. first of all unrealistic expectations is no way to go about doing anything. second of all, if you think men are crap yet you are waiting for the perfect guy to send you the perfect message to ask you on the perfect date, your attitude is gonna send out mixed signals. its just a recipe for NO.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
I agree Lushcoils....and I think there are a lot of lurkers in here. And I bet a poll of married women on this site would show a lot of people met online. I'm not discouraged at all. It's actually getting interesting. I'm getting a lot more messages. I think Dudes wanna be booed up for the summer! :lachen:
Click to expand...

Yes, I think dudes are coming out the woodwork for the summer. :lol:
I'm surprised, I thought it was the other way around.

I don't think that most here met their hubbies online though. But I do think those having positive experiences online probably post about it less.
 
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