***Online Dating Support Thread***

It seems like the messages are getting worse smh. I'm deactivating my account on pof when I get near a computer.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
tinkat said:
I have been thinking about deleting mine too. Its rachet!

But some guy recognized me from work and was like I know you. I'm like and??? Ugh I hope he doesn't say anything to me. He looks very teddy ruxpsten (sp?) like the dream :look:.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

This is why I haven't put up a picture yet. I don't want anyone I know to recognize me. But a profile with no pics doesn't get many views.
 
Guy1 and I both have late meetings tomorrow so we're going to rendezvous at a cafe afterwards. And then he says "and we'll see about Friday" :lol: I think he's just trying to get some face time since he knows I'll be out of town for a conference next week. Bless his heart :)
 
aprils13 said:
This is why I haven't put up a picture yet. I don't want anyone I know to recognize me. But a profile with no pics doesn't get many views.
Click to expand...

I am more put off by him recognizing me. It would be different if it was someone I wanted to run into. :lol:

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I may need some assistance ladies. Would anyone mind letting me see their OKC or PoF profiles? Or you can review mine. I don't think I've done a good job with my explanation of 'who I am.'
 
Maracujá- Such things exist?! I am intrigued now...I don't even need to know about this LOL I already have issues with gluttony without someone cosigning my ignorance :lachen::lachen:

Victorian- Awww...I feel your pain! I am trying to not get too attached too! But it is difficult when it feels like you have known someone waay longer than you actually have :look: I have been sleeping on dating musicians :lol:

UPDATE: Our official date #2 was wonderful. The issue is our dates always end up being 7h long :look: And our phone convos are always 2h long too...I am a bit worried about getting too attached too soon (we are both scorpios- :perplexed), but it is hard to say goodbye when you are having fun :ohwell: Plus he is an absolute gentleman, which has not been my experience in the past...I find myself having to consciously focus on not touching him so much instead of the other way around :lachen::lachen: I am having a hard time believing this man lived in the same town as me for 5 years (10 min away) and we never crossed paths :spinning: I have decided I won't talk to him today, so we can both cool off a bit...so hopefully he doesn't call bc I know I will pick up :look:
 
jazzerz- I am willing to review yours. I sent you a link to mine OKC profile...we gotta stick together in this thing :lol: If it weren't for the support and helpful tips in this thread, I would have given up on cyber dating already :grin: Last summer, I only made it 2 months before I deactivated my Match and OKC accounts :lachen::lachen: It took 8 months until I was willing to try again :nono: I made some tweaks and changed my photos and had a completely different experience this time! This process definitely has helped me practice/develop patience...
 
jazzerz said:
I may need some assistance ladies. Would anyone mind letting me see their OKC or PoF profiles? Or you can review mine. I don't think I've done a good job with my explanation of 'who I am.'
Click to expand...
jazzerz - you can pm me, I'll exchange links :yep:


Guy3 and I walked around a lot and got dinner and walked some more. I wasn't really expecting a 5 hour date on a week day, but I was having fun so I didn't insist upon escaping. He seems like someone I would be friends with in high school, telling jokes in class and whatnot, and then randomly in junior or senior year I would realize I have a crush on him. I know that's a weird description, but that's totally the vibe. He has a wicked sense of humor, and likes a lot of the same stuff I like.
He'd be a fine distraction from guy1 :lol:

I just talked to guy4 on the phone for like an hour. He actually seems pretty nice, so we'll see how the date goes on Thursday.

I received an interesting new message today. We'll see if he becomes a numbered guy :lol: I need to replace guy2...
 
Victorian said:
jazzerz - you can pm me, I'll exchange links :yep:


Guy3 and I walked around a lot and got dinner and walked some more. I wasn't really expecting a 5 hour date on a week day, but I was having fun so I didn't insist upon escaping. He seems like someone I would be friends with in high school, telling jokes in class and whatnot, and then randomly in junior or senior year I would realize I have a crush on him. I know that's a weird description, but that's totally the vibe. He has a wicked sense of humor, and likes a lot of the same stuff I like.
He'd be a fine distraction from guy1 :lol:

I just talked to guy4 on the phone for like an hour. He actually seems pretty nice, so we'll see how the date goes on Thursday.

I received an interesting new message today. We'll see if he becomes a numbered guy :lol: I need to replace guy2...
Click to expand...

Victorian you got them rolling in! I know that's right!!!!!
 
Ladies! Don't give up on the online dating thing (or dating in general!) I've met a great guy on OKC and we are now in a relationship! I'm trying not to get too excited about it as it is all very new, so I'll just say that I truly enjoy his company. :) I have mostly been a lurker in this thread (and on the forum in general) I'll continue lurking around here for updates from you all!
 
For the ladies that made a profile with okc, do you put stock into personality graphs? I just made an account with a pic:look: According to my answers I'm old fashion :lol:
 
i feel like this thread is kind of a skewed perspective tbh, i thought online dating was thebomb.com (pun intended :spinning: :lol:)
 
Has anyone tried howaboutwe.com?

Its a paid site and basically the whole point is that you post date ideas as in "how about we go to dinner at xyz place". The site supposedly encourages more actual dates rather than just messaging since each person has already posted their ideal date.
I've never done online before and I'm frankly terrified. Mostly at putting myself out there. I'll be setting up my profile tonight. Any tips?

My plan is to put up a few pics: 2 from when I've been out(think hair did, make up right, smizing at the camera). I look very glam if I do say so myself :-) and then maybe a couple from when I've been hiking. Does this sound like a good plan?

Also since the point of the site is to encourage actual dates, how long should I message before we meet? Oh and talking beforehand is a must right??

TIA!!
 
I have way less dating experience than most people my age, so I don't have any special knowledge, y'all :lol:

I will say that in my current profile one thing that is different compared to my old version is that I don't talk about what I want in a mate AT ALL. I figured I can decide upon seeing his profile, messaging, and/or meeting if he seems suitable, and instead leave my profile seeming more open. I do make it clear that I want to meet in person rather than being online forever (I dealt with that a lot last time), but in a cheeky sort of non-accusatory way.

Otherwise just talk about the stuff that makes you unique :yep:

aprils13 I'm old-fashioned too :lol: My graph thingy actually describes me somewhat accurately. I think they're incomplete and extremely open to interpretation, but not totally off either.
 
So I'm back in the online dating saddle.
I'm on OKC (haven't been brave enough to get back on POF yet)..
This guy reached out to me and when we finally spoke on the phone...we just clicked.

But when I met him in person...I was so taken aback.
His profile said he was 6 feet tall. He was no more than 5'9. He wouldn't walk near me and I think he didn't want me to actually see for sure that he was a tad bit shorter than me with my heels on.
His teeth looked like they were fighting over the sam spot.
He had locs (which he didn't have in the pics). I love locs but his were thinning and sloppy.
He was such a string bean of a man. Not in a tall, sexy, lanky way either.
He reminded me of my younger brother.
BUT he has a fabulous job and a great personality. But I need to be at least half way attracted to a man.
But with him, my ovaries shriveled up.

Woe is me.....
 
kweenameena said:
So I'm back in the online dating saddle.
I'm on OKC (haven't been brave enough to get back on POF yet)..
This guy reached out to me and when we finally spoke on the phone...we just clicked.

But when I met him in person...I was so taken aback.
His profile said he was 6 feet tall. He was no more than 5'9. He wouldn't walk near me and I think he didn't want me to actually see for sure that he was a tad bit shorter than me with my heels on.
His teeth looked like they were fighting over the sam spot.
He had locs (which he didn't have in the pics). I love locs but his were thinning and sloppy.
He was such a string bean of a man. Not in a tall, sexy, lanky way either.
He reminded me of my younger brother.
BUT he has a fabulous job and a great personality. But I need to be at least half way attracted to a man.
But with him, my ovaries shriveled up.

Woe is me.... .
Click to expand...

:rofl:

this just made my crappy day a whole lot brighter.
 
kweenameena said:
So I'm back in the online dating saddle.
I'm on OKC (haven't been brave enough to get back on POF yet)..
This guy reached out to me and when we finally spoke on the phone...we just clicked.

But when I met him in person...I was so taken aback.
His profile said he was 6 feet tall. He was no more than 5'9. He wouldn't walk near me and I think he didn't want me to actually see for sure that he was a tad bit shorter than me with my heels on.
His teeth looked like they were fighting over the sam spot.
He had locs (which he didn't have in the pics). I love locs but his were thinning and sloppy.
He was such a string bean of a man. Not in a tall, sexy, lanky way either.
He reminded me of my younger brother.
BUT he has a fabulous job and a great personality. But I need to be at least half way attracted to a man.
But with him, my ovaries shriveled up.

Woe is me.....
Click to expand...

Wow.....I just met a dude who said he was five six......this dude couldn't have been more than 5'1"........When I met him I had on 3 inch wedges and I TOWERED over him!!!! I'm only 5'3".....I was so mad!!!!!
 
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crlsweetie912 said:
Wow.....I just met a dude who said he was five six......this dude couldn't have been more than 5'1"........When I met him I had on 3 inch wedges and I TOWERED over him!!!! I'm only 5'3".....I was so mad!!!!!
Click to expand...

Girl yes....already my dating pool has become much smaller now that I'm letting dudes know up front that I'm celibate til marriage.

And now they wanna lie to kick it.:nono:
 
I think I'm too paranoid for internet dating. This morning on the metro this dude kept staring at me..he was cute..but he looked familiar and kinda had this weird smirk. I feel like I've seen him online :ohwell:

At any rate..I'm going to give it another day for this dude who I just messaged to get back to me before I take my pic down.
 
aprils13 said:
For the ladies that made a profile with okc, do you put stock into personality graphs? I just made an account with a pic:look: According to my answers I'm old fashion :lol:
Click to expand...

@aprils13-I think the personality graphs are pretty accurate...it says I am old-fashioned too, among other things :lol: It also says I am more spiritual and extroverted and less sex-driven :look: I guess the waiting until marriage thing highly influenced those results :lachen::lachen:

belletropjolie said:
Has anyone tried howaboutwe.com?

My plan is to put up a few pics: 2 from when I've been out(think hair did, make up right, smizing at the camera). I look very glam if I do say so myself :-) and then maybe a couple from when I've been hiking. Does this sound like a good plan?

Also since the point of the site is to encourage actual dates, how long should I message before we meet? Oh and talking beforehand is a must right??

TIA!!
Click to expand...

@belletropjolie- I have never tried that site, but it sounds pretty cool! You should go for it :yay: As far as tips, I would put up a lot of different types of pics, which it sounds like you are going to do. The more pics, the better it seems with men :yep: A couple glam shots, some more regular shots, and some pics that are fun/show off my personality are usually what I go with.

As far as messaging, I don't think there is a set amount of time to do it. I usually do it until I feel comfortable. I wouldn't wait too long though...I only messaged the guys I currently go out with one or two times before we exchanged numbers. Then we spoke once and went out on a date soon afterwards. I used to do it more slowly, but now I like this new system! In my experience, there are some cues and personality quirks you can only pick up in person! Less wasted time and less chances the guy can misrepresent himself by crafting tailored messages that don't show who he truly is :yep: HTH

Good luck!
 
LilMissSunshine5 said:
@aprils13-I think the personality graphs are pretty accurate...it says I am old-fashioned too, among other things :lol: It also says I am more spiritual and extroverted and less sex-driven :look: I guess the waiting until marriage thing highly influenced those results :lachen::lachen:



@belletropjolie- I have never tried that site, but it sounds pretty cool! You should go for it :yay: As far as tips, I would put up a lot of different types of pics, which it sounds like you are going to do. The more pics, the better it seems with men :yep: A couple glam shots, some more regular shots, and some pics that are fun/show off my personality are usually what I go with.

As far as messaging, I don't think there is a set amount of time to do it. I usually do it until I feel comfortable. I wouldn't wait too long though...I only messaged the guys I currently go out with one or two times before we exchanged numbers. Then we spoke once and went out on a date soon afterwards. I used to do it more slowly, but now I like this new system! In my experience, there are some cues and personality quirks you can only pick up in person! Less wasted time and less chances the guy can misrepresent himself by crafting tailored messages that don't show who he truly is :yep: HTH

Good luck!
Click to expand...


@LilMissSunshine thanks so much for the encouragement!! I really appreciate it since I've been so nervous about this whole process. I'm extremely private so I' just getting over my reservations.

So I already received an invite from a guy saying: I like your date idea, can we message before we go out?" He lives quite far from where I live so not sure why he even messaged me:ohwell:. I will probably not respond and just wait for more viable options to come.

p.s: I'm joining OKcupid tonight...this horse done left the:lol: gate

ETA: I just realized that the guy who messaged had bright blue hair:lachen::lachen:I must be slow how did I miss that?
 
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Question for the vets and non vets: Do you message guys you are interested in? I am the type to wait to get approached IRL but I figure I should be more proactive online. My question is what are do you put in a message? I am thinking something along the lines of "I think you seem interesting and would like to discuss/get to know you" UGH, that seems so corny to me but idk, is that par for the course?? I do know I definitely don't want to do the hi then drop mic routine
 
Guy4 and I went out for sushi tonight. He's so adorkable :lol: We did have good conversation and talked way longer than I expected. See, I'm glad I gave a brotha a chance...But um, he's totally shorter than he said on his profile :rolleyes: Why dey always gotta lie, tho? Just sayin'...

Guy1 and I are going to the movies tomorrow night. I'll be sure to let him know how much he better appreciate the privilege of seeing me twice in 3 days :giggle:
 
belletropjolie said:
Question for the vets and non vets: Do you message guys you are interested in? I am the type to wait to get approached IRL but I figure I should be more proactive online. My question is what are do you put in a message? I am thinking something along the lines of "I think you seem interesting and would like to discuss/get to know you" UGH, that seems so corny to me but idk, is that par for the course?? I do know I definitely don't want to do the hi then drop mic routine
Click to expand...

I've gone back and forth on this. It works out for people sometimes, but for me personally I'm not doing the messaging first thing anymore. I send messages to guys only if I'm not actually interested in dating them but just want to ask a question about something in their profile :lol: I used to try to initiate but it seriously never went anywhere, even if they replied and we started a dialog. Those are the guys that didn't ever try to take it offline, etc. You basically become a pen pal. I was sort of okay with that thinking, "maybe he's just shy," "maybe he just takes more time," until I started going on actual dates after 2-3 messages with the guy initiating and realized I shouldn't have to be doing that much work :lol:
 
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