***Online Dating Support Thread***

I tried OKC and met my SO there :D Also, I had tried match and met decent guys there. Dated a few guys from there, and met a couple exes there. Both were self-centered and apparently weren't looking for the kind of relationship I was. This of course is not specific to any dating site.
I tried POF and it was too ratchet for me to deal.
 
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^Congrats. Why is POF so popular then? seems like most people are getting good matches with OKC so why do people give POF more time when it seems to have more ratchetness?

arent they both free? I havent tried either so Im confused
 
O-ren said:
^Congrats. Why is POF so popular then? seems like most people are getting good matches with OKC so why do people give POF more time when it seems to have more ratchetness?

arent they both free? I havent tried either so Im confused
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I have a profile(hidden) on POF. It is ratchet but I don't think it's any more ratchet than the paid sites. At least from my experience. So why pay for ratchetness when you can get it for free :look:. (I should have listened to my own advise)

Also, as briefly mentioned up thread, I prefer to date black men. I may be wrong but I don't think very many black men use OKC.
 
kandake said:
I have a profile(hidden) on POF. It is ratchet but I don't think it's any more ratchet than the paid sites. At least from my experience. So why pay for ratchetness when you can get it for free :look:. (I should have listened to my own advise)

Also, as briefly mentioned up thread, I prefer to date black men. I may be wrong but I don't think very many black men use OKC.
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i met a cool black dude on okc around the same time i started talking to my now-bf, that i would have been extremely interested in had he made a move... unfortch, he didnt show enough initiative for us to meet irl (or prob would have needed some incentive such as the possibility of sex) and someone else moved in before he got it together so....

i just think the quality of users overall is better, both black and white men (even if there are fewer black men, if they are of better quality, what difference does it make?). i literally think that black men of poor quality CHOOSE NOT to use okc, and sign up for pof instead, because they know they would be required to meet a higher standard at okc.
 
O-ren said:
Other than messch has anyone else tried OKC or is it just match and POF?
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I did OKC but like I said I knew too many ppl on there. A guy I recently went out with is on OKC but I knew him IRL way before I ever joined the site. But then he found me and started sending me crazy messages, he's a cool dude though. I like him. I wouldn't say OKC brought us together tho:lol:

But yeah he's only person I've met up with and dated off a dating site.... I think OKC is a good site, it would be even better if I was more open to dating nonblack guys. At least in my area, there just aren't a lot of black guys on there.

I've never done plenty of fish or black people meet or any of the other ones really do I can't speak on anything else
 
kandake said:
Also, as briefly mentioned up thread, I prefer to date black men. I may be wrong but I don't think very many black men use OKC.
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Are you going based on hear-say or have you tried OKC

I ask because if both OKC and POF are free, I find it weird that OKC would lack black men.
 
O-ren said:
Are you going based on hear-say or have you tried OKC

I ask because if both OKC and POF are free, I find it weird that OKC would lack black men.
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i didnt find AS MANY black men on okc as white men, but even though they are outnumbered there was still a good chunk of them on there. which makes sense bc prob in the racial make up of the city i live in, the sample is representative of the proportion of the population as a whole. more white men than black men doesnt mean no black men... and plus, why does it have to be 50,000 of them when all you need is one? (eta: general you, not you, o-ren :lol:) i tend to subscribe to the quality over quantity school of thought, but i think some people just like wading through siht, maybe. *yeshrug*

as far as the quality goes, i would wager white people are more open to the idea of using the internet for DATING... whereas among black people overall i feel like the prevailing attitude is still more like "internet dating is only for losers." and for black men in particular i can see justifying using a site like POF as just looking to hookup (:look: which explains a lot about all the complete :thud: women are finding trying to use that site)

for those wondering about finding black men on okc, sign up and do a search - you can search specifically for a certain race.

apart from the fact that i just think pof is a garbage site for black american women, i just dont think it makes any sense to keep wading through crap going "LOOK AT THE CRAP I FOUND TODAY" instead of, like, maybe looking through a different pool... if only just to check it out... (also i have been on other message boards that agree the quality of users on pof is just lower. white people think the quality of white users on pof is not as good as okc, so it's not just black guys. the site is just NOT GEARED to those that are looking for, and qualified for :look: lasting relationships.)
 
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The whole experience did drive the message home just how much i limited my dating pool by only dating black guys... Oh well :lol:
 
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O-ren said:
Oh so POF is more of a hook-up site? I thought it was marketed the same as OKC?
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nope. thats why the first thing you see on pof is all the pictures and you have to scroll to the bottom of the profile to get to the about me text.

eta: additionally (im sure ive mentioned this in this thread before) you can tell bc the demographics of the users are different. users on okc tend to be more highly educated and lean toward liberal political views. users on pof tend to be more high school educated and are more likely to have kids. in my personal experience from the brief time i was on pof, the guys there also always appeared to be taller than the guys on okc :look: but perhaps they were just more likely to lie about it. :lol:

i mean, in that case, i guess it's a trade off depending on what you want. i want someone that's highly educated, and when you spend a long time in school you put off having kids, and a lot of the time liberal school nerds end up on the agnostic end of the spectrum. so, okc caters to the demographics of men that i would be interested in... i wouldnt be interested in religious guys who didnt go to college which i would imagine pof would tend to skew more into.
 
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O-ren said:
^Congrats. Why is POF so popular then? seems like most people are getting good matches with OKC so why do people give POF more time when it seems to have more ratchetness?

arent they both free? I havent tried either so Im confused
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I get more messages from POF. I personally do not give more time to either site. I don't sit searching for guys. I may look at a few that catch my interest.

Right now I am messaging a decent guy from ok Cupid. He sometimes get too deep when talking about simple things (lol) but he is cool.

Edited: typos
 
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O-ren said:
^Congrats. Why is POF so popular then? seems like most people are getting good matches with OKC so why do people give POF more time when it seems to have more ratchetness?
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I was just about to post this before meesh brought it up.

Answer to your question: Because most here prefer to date bm.

Not saying bm = ratchetness, but there are more bm on pof.

I had to delete my pof because the ratchetness on there was constant. And I rarely saw anyone my type (college educated, no kids, physically attractive, my age group/area, could write in complete sentences...) on there.
 
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POF= hot ghetto mess (ghetto black AND white dudes)
OKC= liberal; quirky; educated (mostly advanced degrees, in my experience); younger population

ETA: I think I lucked out meeting my SO on OKC. With online dating, a huge percentage of it is just the luck of the draw. Our compatibility % were through the roof. It was scary. We both found out so many bizarre similarities we shared. For example, we both have a birthmark in the EXACT SAME SPOT on our hips; we both have a weird teeny bump on our left index fingers (I'd call it a sixth finger but that just sounds freaky). He's Bajan and I'm Nigerian and I didn't realize before that the African and Caribbean cultures still share so many similarities. He emailed me without a picture on his profile and I almost dismissed his email as some 419 mess (yes, I had one try to hit me with some BS on match). But his message was different. It had thought. He had read my profile. He used the word "converse" rather than "conversate". LOL! He sent his pictures a few messages later without prompting and it was totally worthy it :D

He is a pay for everything, fix stuff around the house, give you his car when yours is in for a service, drive 2 hours each way to see you after a long day at work, calls daily and when he says he will, text every morning with a sweet message kinda guy. OK, now I'm gushing. My point is, with online dating, there are great guys out there who are online for the same reasons you are (doctors in residency, marine guys, finance managers who work ridiculous hours, etc) and then there are idiot losers mixed in there as well. The fact that you have the info you need in front of you, makes it so much easier to weed out the losers, in my opinion. Good luck!
 
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O-ren said:
Other than messch has anyone else tried OKC or is it just match and POF?
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i met some really awesome guys on OKC including my (black) ex.:yep: i deleted my profile because i have no need for it atm but it's definitely my site of choice.

i wouldn't use POF because of the horror stories and it reeks of rachet and low-budgetness. the pics always look distorted, it doesn't seem user friendly, most of the guys look like Kangs etc. etc. etc. no bueno.:nono:
 
I'm not completely certain about black men on Ok Cupid. It was assumption and I'm not quite sure where it came from. I actually thought it was a hook-up site for college age white kids.

I do agree that POF is trash.
 
after reading all of these posts curiosity got the best of me and i posted a quick profile on pof and.....ewwwwwwwwww those dudes on there are an horrible mess. When i did a search for the type of men that i wanted i got a long list of crusty half nekkid men who only wanted to hook up and didn’t want relationships. lol i immediately went to delete my profile lol no thanks. the guy that i am currently talking to i met on okc.

i have a quick question i am new to this site...what is a kang? i have an idea but i just want to know...thanks
 
O-ren said:
Other than messch has anyone else tried OKC or is it just match and POF?
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O-ren I've tried them all but I met my sweetie on bpm. Which I know is known for players and such. But we actually met there in 2007 and then we both wound up back on it in January of this year and it was a wrap.

I didn't stay on OKC long enough, but I was on POF for a minute and yes it is everything everyone said it was a free for all. I told this one guy that I met someone and was taking my profile down he told me "no no leave it up I just want to be able to look at you everyday...:ohwell:"
 
I got a message today from a guy after disabling my okc account for the last week and a half. He is bit older thought 35 but if he is on point in all other areas ie no kids,is ok with me being who I am then I can let certain things go.

ETA:Oh well I guess I will not be continuing convo with that guy. He asked me how may luck on the site was and I said Im a bit picky so I take my time. He told me I should lower my standards. I know some would respond I won't.I shouldn't lower my standards for no body. Don't matter how I look anything I know what I desire and what I am worth..on to the next..
 
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mallysmommy a kang is hard to explain but in my webster dictionary a dude of any race who is only good for slanging colors,drugs,doesn't pay for anything bc he has no job,no worth and will suck the life out of you if you allow it.
 
meesch said:
i didnt find AS MANY black men on okc as white men, but even though they are outnumbered there was still a good chunk of them on there. which makes sense bc prob in the racial make up of the city i live in, the sample is representative of the proportion of the population as a whole. more white men than black men doesnt mean no black men... and plus, why does it have to be 50,000 of them when all you need is one? (eta: general you, not you, o-ren :lol:) i tend to subscribe to the quality over quantity school of thought, but i think some people just like wading through siht, maybe. *yeshrug*

as far as the quality goes, i would wager white people are more open to the idea of using the internet for DATING... whereas among black people overall i feel like the prevailing attitude is still more like "internet dating is only for losers." and for black men in particular i can see justifying using a site like POF as just looking to hookup (:look: which explains a lot about all the complete :thud: women are finding trying to use that site)

for those wondering about finding black men on okc, sign up and do a search - you can search specifically for a certain race.

apart from the fact that i just think pof is a garbage site for black american women, i just dont think it makes any sense to keep wading through crap going "LOOK AT THE CRAP I FOUND TODAY" instead of, like, maybe looking through a different pool... if only just to check it out... (also i have been on other message boards that agree the quality of users on pof is just lower. white people think the quality of white users on pof is not as good as okc, so it's not just black guys. the site is just NOT GEARED to those that are looking for, and qualified for :look: lasting relationships.)
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@meesch Yep...I deleted my profile on POF after I saw my cousin's husband looking at my profile. I think the free sites with less requirements to get a profile working has a direct correlation to the worst types of guys being found on that site. So it only stands to reason that free AND easy will have more eye candy. And women are visual too...we like looking. But you will find at the end of the day...the pickings are slim.

Those sites that require you to have to read or think about your profile content tend to have the better selections The guys who will take the time to complete it will be a cut above.

I lucked out and found a winner on Black People Meet.
 
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I'm on OKC now and I have about 4 and a possible in my line up of men. All of them are black. And they all seem decent. Although, I did get my fair share of emails from Kangs on OKC.

POF does have a ton of kangs. BUT...it is possible to find a good man there. They are just frustrated from having to weed thru the quains to find you.
You just have to be patient. I met my ex on POF but it wasn't right away. He wasn't a kang at all.

Being on POF is like shopping at a messy Ross. It's possible to find something really great but you have to be willing to sift thru a bunch of rubbage
 
kweenameena Im too through with your analogy. Oh I just hollered. POF is like a DD's a sister company of Ross its far worst and they are expensive..but yea my luck on POF was not good at all. Maybe I was asking for too much. I mean can a dude at least have a complete thought in his profile. The ones that were decent didn't like me or I wasn't their cup of tea. Their loss. OKC I get better picks but still no bites. I have hope one day.
 
GoddessMaker said:
@kweenameena Im too through with your analogy. Oh I just hollered. POF is like a DD's a sister company of Ross its far worst and they are expensive..but yea my luck on POF was not good at all. Maybe I was asking for too much. I mean can a dude at least have a complete thought in his profile. The ones that were decent didn't like me or I wasn't their cup of tea. Their loss. OKC I get better picks but still no bites. I have hope one day.
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I say leave up your profile, don't get your feelings wrapped up in the dudes that don't respond when you reach out or in the dudes that reach out to you that you don't like....just keep sifting and weeding thru until you hit gold.

You'll find him. And some kangs know how to act right on the first date at least. So if one asks you out and he doesn't look like a gremlin...gon out and getchu a free meal girl.:look: Like Allen Iverson said...It's just practice.:grin:
 
kandake said:
I'm not completely certain about black men on Ok Cupid. It was assumption and I'm not quite sure where it came from. I actually thought it was a hook-up site for college age white kids.

I do agree that POF is trash.
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You should try it out! since there are those mentioning that sane black men exist on OKC, you might just find the one good for you and doesnt assume liking variety of food means you look like Nobit :lol:
 
my yt girlfriend who only dates black men said she had a date from match on saturday, the guy took her to a really nice restaurant, and when she excused herself to go to the ladies room, he texted her "i suck". when she returned to the table he'd gone and left her with the bill !! :-O
 
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