New guy is giving me gifts all the time and I am just not used to it.

[HoneyDew]

HD,

I just read your blog. Didn't you move to MD just for that job or were you commuting? Have you found a new job yet?

No, I got an offer to relocate to Massachusetts. After much thought, I decided it was better for me to stay in MD. Even with the relocation money and pay raise, it would not benefit me financially or professional to move up there, so I think. Well, no I have not found a job yet. I am still working for the company but the site where I work will be closing in 9 weeks. I am getting a nice financial parachute to help me for a while, but I need to look for a new job. I have actually been thinking of working as a consultant. We'll see - but something will come along I'm sure.

 

[HoneyDew]

I worry about that type of behavior and I'll explain why.

Most people are on their best behavior when they first start dating. Trouble comes when our SO accustoms as to a lifestyle he cannot sustain.

I saw this happen with one of my friends. Her guy would buy her ridiculous gifts. If she wanted an I-Pod he bought her one in every color. He bought her mom flowers every week. You'd think he was ballin'.

Nope. He had just come from Iraq and had all this tax-free cash saved up. Sure enough he ran out of his cash and couldn't even afford an engagement ring for her, and he is now taking out a loan to pay for the wedding.

His girl is spoiled as heck now because he got her used to it, and now their relationship feels boring. She still expects gifts and he goes out of his way to get them for her.

I would say OP, enjoy the gifts but keep an eye out:
1. Is he using the gifts to compensate for something else?
2. Is he expecting anything in return?
3. Can he sustain this lifestyle?
4. Can he afford this lifestyle?

Basically be concerned about his finances and his investment in this. will it all stop once he has you? Are you ok with that?

Goodness, I would definitly be concerned about off the wall gifts like I-pods in all colors! That is just nuts. I am not impressed with things like that. I would actually look at him like he was crazy if he did that.

This guy is giving smaller gifts. Little things, but very thoughtful, nonetheless. Nothing has been expensive or crazy, thank goodness.

But, I like the points you mentioned.

1. Is he using the gifts to compensate for something else?
2. Is he expecting anything in return?
3. Can he sustain this lifestyle?
4. Can he afford this lifestyle?

Those are the things I have considered. I know he is nor rich or anything like that, but for what he does for a leaving, he should be doing pretty well, but you never know about someone's debts. Or maybe the American Express action that is going on. Anyway, it is still early, and I will have to see how things play out.

I am going to brunch with him in about an hour. I am going to give him a little something just to make myself feel better. I know some of you said I shouldn't have to do that, but I just feel like I need to for some reason. We both love wine and it is the topic of conversation often. We are actually going to a wine bar for brunch this morning. I got a hand painted wine bottle stopper that I am going to give him. I gave these as favors to my guests when i have a little party last year and I have about 8 of these babies left. I wrapped on in tissue paper, just like I did for my guests, and I will give him that. Nothing fancy. I just feel like I need to give him something.

 

[kayte]

Ahhhhhhhh that's so sweeet. I personally have trouble receiving..period
And gifts are given all the time.....
Please allow your self to enjoy LIFE.......w/out guilt or weird predictions

We both love wine and it is the topic of conversation often. We are actually going to a wine bar for brunch this morning. I got a hand painted wine bottle stopper that I am going to give him.

is that sweet and considerate ..or what..
Listen you can always give those gifts to ME

Seriously... Let the future take care of itself ....you are an aware and smart lady...so keep it .....''y'know ..very zen .... ONE DATE AT A TIME

lol..one gift a time

 

[DragonPearl]

I am going to brunch with him in about an hour. I am going to give him a little something just to make myself feel better. I know some of you said I shouldn't have to do that, but I just feel like I need to for some reason. We both love wine and it is the topic of conversation often. We are actually going to a wine bar for brunch this morning. I got a hand painted wine bottle stopper that I am going to give him. I gave these as favors to my guests when i have a little party last year and I have about 8 of these babies left. I wrapped on in tissue paper, just like I did for my guests, and I will give him that. Nothing fancy. I just feel like I need to give him something.

There is nothing wrong with giving him a gift too once in a while as a thoughtful gesture. I am sure he will appreciate it. Just don't feel that you HAVE to give him gifts as in tit for tat.

 

[Mestiza]

Yeah girl. Issues girl (he broke it off, actually). (if you have time one day, check out my blog)

I think that is why I am taking this one slow. You cannot just drop someone from your heart like that. Anyway, I met this new guy a while back but only recently have I allowed myself to just go ahead and enjoy his company and go out with him. Why not? I asked myself It is just simple, easy, mature fun. And my previous relationship is another reason why I am choosing NOT to be too physical with this new guy. It is just too soon. I am just taking it easy and having fun.

I enjoy the attention though. It is flattering.

Smart Girl!

It sounds like you really enjoy his company. I hope that things continue to go well for you. BTW, if you want to give him a gift, then go ahead. Nothing is wrong w/ that.

 

[klb120475]

Smart Girl!

It sounds like you really enjoy his company. I hope that things continue to go well for you. BTW, if you want to give him a gift, then go ahead. Nothing is wrong w/ that.

You must ain't read the latest.......

 

[Kiadodie]

Girl, did you read my "he's cheap" thread that I just started?lol

You enjoy it and look at it as a good thing, even though you're not used to it.

I LOVE to be spoiled and have special attention from a man that I like.