Dating for 6months, he bought me no X-mas Gift!!

[Le Papillon]

He appeared surprised, have not discuss it with him because I wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting.
Yes, we are casually dating. We see each other 1x/week b/c I work nights and he work days plus we both go to school.
IMO just cause we're not exclusive does not mean that I can't make the other person feel special, especially on holidays. I mean we do spend time together, what's da harm in getting a 99cents card? Some guys are just dumb! I am so over this one!
Thanks for all your responses ladies!!!!!!!

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Ok ladies, here's my dilemma......
I've been dating this guy for 6 months. We see each other about once a week due to both of our busy schedules. For X-mas, I went ahead and bought him something even though we didn't discuss exchanging gifts. When I went to see him and give him his gift, he had nothing for me. Although I was disappointed, I didn't question him about it because I should not have been expecting something in return. So if this guy cared for me wouldn't he have bought me something just to bring a smile to my face eventhough we didn't discuss exchanging gifts? Or am I wrong for getting him something w/o first discussing it with him?

ETA: yes, he does celebrate X-mas and bought gifts for his family
members

I've been dating this guy for 6 months. We see each other about once a week due to both of our busy schedules.

Ummm...first, have the both of you agreed that you two were exclusively in a relationship? If not, then perhaps you should re-evaluate the situation, because if you guys are bed buddies (i.e., sleeping with each other), then bed buddies or f__k buddies don't get gifts...sorry but that is one of the rules, especially if it's once a week.

Now, if you two are exclusively in a relationship (mutually agreed upon), then that's a different story.

So if this guy cared for me ...

There is your answer. He's just not that into you.

 

[drasgrl]

Do you have male friends or a brother you can ask their opinion about? Seriously. Men are the best source to find out information about why men do the things they do. They aren't women, they don't think or act like women. For a lot of women things like that are important but for men it's not. You did not discuss getting gifts so don't be mad and assume he will get you a gift just because you have some kind of dating relationship. Is he even your boyfriend or just dating meaning you aren't really exclusive just talking and hanging out once in a while.

 

[Paradox]

I'm not asking for much, because I don't even buy gifts for Christmas but he could of atleast given her a touching card, take her out to dinner or make dinner,some roses or buy her a simple symbolic gift, my goodness even a take her to a FREE museum and pack some sandwiches......I don't think that is too hard.
He made no effort to make her happy on a special day. A guy that can't even make an effort on Christmas( an obvious day to show love)...what can he do?
Since you guys didn't discuss anything, this would have been the perfect time for him to surprise you, men who are fond of their women LOVE to surprise them.

 

[Lenee925]

I'm not asking for much, because I don't even buy gifts for Christmas but he could of atleast given her a touching card, take her out to dinner or make dinner,some roses or buy her a simple symbolic gift, my goodness even a take her to a FREE museum and pack some sandwiches......I don't think that is too hard.
He made no effort to make her happy on a special day. A guy that can't even make an effort on Christmas( an obvious day to show love)...what can he do?
Since you guys didn't discuss anything, this would have been the perfect time for him to surprise you, men who are fond of their women LOVE to surprise them.

Dump his ***. I was dating SO for 4 months (seriously from the day we met) and he gave me adiamond necklace, I bought him a playstation 2 when they were hot. The guy didn't have to buy anything that expensive though...and he didn't. It's all about being considerate and thoughtful IMO.

 

[discobiscuits]

I hate when ppl get me gifts after I tell them not to. In this case, u 2 did not discuss it. Soooo...he may feel bad b/c he did not have something 4 u. He may be befuddled b/c he may have thought that the gift expectation was not there & then u give him one. U may be putting more emphasis on ur "relationship" than he is. He may c u as friends or still new but not @ the gift stage or something. Maybe w the economy he could not afford it (he may have planned, budgeted & bought the family gifts in advance). Who knows.

I would not have bought him anything if we had not discussed it in advance. In my experience, if I'm in a relationship or a couple, we don't even need to discuss exchanging gifts, it is a given.

I'd just keep it moving & u should hope that he likes & enjoys his gift. U should definately not worry or be salty cause he did not give u a gift.

*sigh* this is 1 reason y I can't stand Christmas season.

 

[MzTami]

I knew this lady that had that happen to her. She and her ex-boyfriend were dating for seven months. When Christmas came she bought him a gift but homeboy didn't buy her one. After she gave him his gift he had the nerve to say, 'Uhhh. yours should be here pretty soon.' Honey, she took the gift back from him and said, 'Well I'll keep yours until it gets here and we can excnange gifts at the same time.' Homeboy was caught off guard with that. He never got her anything but she returned his and got her money back.

Gurl....are u talking about me? This is EXACTLY what happened to me back in my days...except, we were dating for 3 months...and I bought him a gold chain and I received nothing...I gladly took the chain and got my money back....Homie don't play that!

OP...You should have took the gift back, despite, whether you all discussed exchanging gifts are not. He didn't have construction paper and glue? He couldn't make you a X-MAS card? Nawww....he's foul...

 

[discobiscuits]

He aint foul. He's not her man and we should not put those expectations on him. She's not his lady. They r friends. I didn't get my friends nething this year & vice versa & we're no less friends than b4. Gift exchanging is SO NBD. Let the man enjoy whut u got him if u gave it from the heart w/ no expectations.

 

[firecracker]

Does he even celebrate Christmas?

If he doesn't he wouldn't be accepting gifts from others thats fo sho. Many ah fools get dumped this time of year and V day for good reason. They ain't new to this NEXT!

 

[justNikki]

I say make a note that he doesn't see this "situation" as you do and keep dating other people. I wouldn't necessarily stop dating him, but I sure hope yall aren't doing the nasty and you didn't get a gift. In that case, I would NEXT him too.

It is what it is. I don't know if I would even bring it up in a discussion. I just judge based on the actions. ITA with you OP. It's not hard to buy anyone you're dating for 6 months at least a card or SOMETHING.

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

My babe and I have been dating for six months. I got him a PSP3 and he got me a Tiffanys Necklace and a charm necklace and bracelet from Macys.

 

[*KP*]

If he doesn't he wouldn't be accepting gifts from others thats fo sho. Many ah fools get dumped this time of year and V day for good reason. They ain't new to this NEXT!

Not necessarily. If you discussed it beforehand then yes but if not. I would rather accept the gift than make you take it back even if out of politeness



OP, please have a convo with your man about how you feel before taking any advice to "dump his a$$"

 

[hopeful]

He appeared surprised, have not discuss it with him because I wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting.
Yes, we are casually dating. We see each other 1x/week b/c I work nights and he work days plus we both go to school.
IMO just cause we're not exclusive does not mean that I can't make the other person feel special, especially on holidays. I mean we do spend time together, what's da harm in getting a 99cents card? Some guys are just dumb! I am so over this one!
Thanks for all your responses ladies!!!!!!!

Casually dating for an extended period generally works nicely for a guy but not for a lady. But I don't believe in casual dating, either we are progressing and moving toward something or I would be moving on. Most women can't roll too long with not being "the special one" or treated nicely on birthdays and holidays. I think this Christmas forced you to accept the relationship for what it really is, holidays and birthdays bring a lot of stuff to light. I am sorry things didn't work out how you hoped though.

 

[hopeful]

My babe and I have been dating for six months. I got him a PSP3 and he got me a Tiffanys Necklace and a charm necklace and bracelet from Macys.

That's how it works when you are seriously dating. I bet you guys saw each other more than once a week too. It sounds like you had a great Christmas.

Not necessarily. If you discussed it beforehand then yes but if not. I would rather accept the gift than make you take it back even if out of politeness



OP, please have a convo with your man about how you feel before taking any advice to "dump his a$$"

The thing is he's not her man. They have been dating "casually" and they are not exclusive.

 

[dangerousvirgo2001]

Not even worth the drama! To the left, to the left!

 

[justNikki]

That's how it works when you are seriously dating. I bet you guys saw each other more than once a week too. It sounds like you had a great Christmas.



The thing is he's not her man. They have been dating "casually" and they are not exclusive.

I wouldn't lay up with a man one more day if he didn't give me a gift, build me something, detail the car or SOMETHING, whether we are dating casually or not. Now, if no sex is involved, just don't buy him anything again, unless your relationship changes.

 

[MJ]

Why do they have to "discuss" whether or not to get each other gifts? I don't get that. If a man likes a woman, he buys her gifts. Why does she have to discuss it with him?

 

[Paradox]

Why do they have to "discuss" whether or not to get each other gifts? I don't get that. If a man likes a woman, he buys her gifts. Why does she have to discuss it with him?

Exactly. My friend was getting clothes and gifts within one month...no wait...week

 

[sereia]

Few years ago, I was dating this guy (3 or 4mths) and bought him a small Christmas gift. We talked about gifts but not exchanging them specifically. When I went to give him his gift, he would not accept because he didn't have anything for me. 2 days later (my b'day)..he had 2 gifts for me and I gave him his.

That´s too cute!

Mimi, did you discuss exclusiveness and/or the state of your relationship?
I am sorry that you were disappointed.
I must say that this never happened to me. I would have a serious talk with him and share your feelings. How does he treat you otherwise?

 

[antisocial]

Why do they have to "discuss" whether or not to get each other gifts? I don't get that. If a man likes a woman, he buys her gifts. Why does she have to discuss it with him?

The dicussion doesn't have to be about gifts per se, but if you know that you're going to be upset if you get NOTHING for Christmas, b-day, etc. then you need to make sure that you and him are on the same page as far as what type of relationship this is. Clearly she likes him a little more than he likes her.....

 

[cupcakes]

happened to me before. SMH