Never Been In Love

[Harina]

Yes, but at the moment I'm only in love with Alexander Hamilton and Benjamin Franklin.

 

[missyanne]

Is it better to have a man love you or be in love with you?

I was with someone for a few years and looking back I cant say I was in love. I voiced it cause it seem like the right thing to do but in reality I didnt love him and have yet to love any men. I have been with guys I adore and want to be with but never that passionate Ill die for you

 

[greight]

Is it better to have a man love you or be in love with you?

I was with someone for a few years and looking back I cant say I was in love. I voiced it cause it seem like the right thing to do but in reality I didnt love him and have yet to love any men. I have been with guys I adore and want to be with but never that passionate Ill die for you

I don't think I'll ever be one of those I'll die for you kind of women I'll die for my kids, but not for a man. He better protect/cover me though.

 

[30something]

Yes, I have 3 times.
I wish it was only once. the first two time cost me. The 2nd cost so much of my own self, falling in love with the wrong man. The 3rd is my ultimate soulmate! I really just could not be with him, he like my sun. But love isn't always this beautiful thing.

I know we have all heard about women who feel in love with abusive men who couldn't let go until 10-20 years later of having enough. Or the women who fall in love with a broken man/ alcoholic and become the co-dependent and live in anguish trying to fix the man, love just couldn't set them free.

 

[Lucie]

No offense to anyone on here but whenever someone asks a question like this and a person answers with 'yes the one I'm with now' I side eye it...not because I feel the person is being dishonest but because usually that current relationship feels like it's the best thing that ever happened and everyone in the past is forgotten about...they left no significant imprint on your soul.


Imo/observation and personal experience...there was always someone who was the the be it end all WHILE you guys were in the relationship.

I think when someone can say "yeah, it was someone from my past" they are showing that they are still impacted by that relationship perhaps on a soul level. If that person can still be relevant to you after you've moved on to the next person...it seems more believable that they might have been "that One"...

I can see why you'd feel this way, but I can be with a man and not be in love. I've been with various men from different backgrounds, however what I feel with my current dude, is truly once in a lifetime for me. I finally understand why some widows do not date or remarry when their lover passes on. I feel his energy in ways I never knew possible! I am used to quality and know what is good for the moment and what is timeless.

I don't feel you ever stop loving or caring for a good ex. Soul ties are real. Even shaking a person's hand binds their energy to you forever. So how can a man that made love to you, maybe traveled the world with you, shared his life with you, that was your best friend just cease to live in your heart and mind?

My ex-husband will always be in my heart. Always. But has never made me feel for a man what I feel now. I am grateful for it all.

 

[awhyley]

I've been in lust before, that's for certain, but I don't feel that I've ever been in love before. There were men that I clicked with, (even though many were unavailable), but that blinding, spell-binding love, nah.

 

[aviddiva77]

Yep. My SO is the biscuit head I'm in love with.

It is the best feeling ever! And I say this with no shade, but it saddens me when people have not experienced it yet. It's like an orgasm, when you have one you definitely know what it is.

Lucie I thought you were married! Color me shocked.

 

[Lucie]

Lucie I thought you were married! Color me shocked.

I used to be. LOL!

 

[aviddiva77]

This is the fluff/mushy stuff I'm talking about. It's all about the moment, it seems. Definitely more believable if a person can look back and say "yeah, I was in love". But who knows, I've never been in love so maybe it's a legit thing.

However, I do love somebody and the feeling is...unique. He is a friend, and while I most likely would not date him, I get a sentimental feeling when I think of him. A special place in my heart, I guess? But I am not dying on the inside, or anything like that. It's just...special.

If I care about you and call you my friend. I love you. Which might be confusing regarding relationships. How do you know if you love them like how I love my friends/family or I love them romantically? Is it the same? Is the difference is I want to have sex with them?

It's really hard to imagine the feelings of "in love." Maybe it's like @Lucie said. You don't know until you are.

 

[aviddiva77]

I used to be. LOL!

GIRL!! What?! Well blow me over with a feather.

I don't know why but I pictured you as a very sweet Southern Belle who got married after college and who has lavished with the finer things in life. Goes out shopping every day. Stuff like that. Not bougie or anything. But it never made you snobby. You always tip your driver (yes you have a driver) and your hairdresser. And secretly go home and listen to underground rap/hip-hop/trap music in your basement/secret place until your husband comes home

 

[Lucie]

GIRL!! What?! Well blow me over with a feather.

I don't know why but I pictured you as a very sweet Southern Belle who got married after college and who has lavished with the finer things in life. Goes out shopping every day. Stuff like that. Not bougie or anything. But it never made you snobby. You always tip your driver (yes you have a driver) and your hairdresser. And secretly go home and listen to underground rap/hip-hop/trap music in your basement/secret place until your husband comes home

LOL! I start college tomorrow to finish my undergrad. I'm from Queens, NY, I can be sweet, but can curse a grown man so bad he would cry. My family is from the south of Haiti. I do tip well, but can be a friendly snob. I love hip-hop, but my voice is a bit valley girlish. I do like the finer things and shopping. Hilarious!

 

[PeaceFlow]

No offense to anyone on here but whenever someone asks a question like this and a person answers with 'yes the one I'm with now' I side eye it...not because I feel the person is being dishonest but because usually that current relationship feels like it's the best thing that ever happened and everyone in the past is forgotten about...they left no significant imprint on your soul.

Imo/observation and personal experience...there was always someone who was the the be it end all WHILE you guys were in the relationship.

I think when someone can say "yeah, it was someone from my past" they are showing that they are still impacted by that relationship perhaps on a soul level. If that person can still be relevant to you after you've moved on to the next person...it seems more believable that they might have been "that One"...

This is not true for me.

I have a lot of insight at the time. I was in love with my first, but not with my second and not with my 3rd. They were nice, upstanding guys that I felt love and cared for and that was all I wanted at the time. I knew it wasn't the most amazing love while I was actually in it.

 

[Rsgal]

Well I was always told a soul mate was someone who comes into your life and causes a noticeable change there's a pic quote that I really loved that explained it but I can't remember where I saw it.
But a soul mate to me is someone who you feel is just supposed to be in your life and they cause a you to grow to another level. Soul mates dont have to be romantic.

So true. My soul mate is a lady. She is my big sis/friend who grounds me like something else. She just got married last week!

 

[lux10023]

Yes have never loved a man like him ever....
It's something you know when your experiencing it and if it ends....
But yes once... Ahhhhh
I've never quite felt like that ever... I was chasing that in love-ness for awhile but have accepted it's once in a life time for me
Verrrryyyyy different from hey I love him
It's so hard to explain though....

 

[missyanne]

GIRL!! What?! Well blow me over with a feather.

I don't know why but I pictured you as a very sweet Southern Belle who got married after college and who has lavished with the finer things in life. Goes out shopping every day. Stuff like that. Not bougie or anything. But it never made you snobby. You always tip your driver (yes you have a driver) and your hairdresser. And secretly go home and listen to underground rap/hip-hop/trap music in your basement/secret place until your husband comes home

. This made me burst out laughing.

 

[missyanne]

I dont get the whole soulmate/twin flame thing. How is someone your soulmate/twin flame but they are unavailable to you? If the two of you can not be a part of each other lives then its just someone whom you love and can not be with.

I just had this convo with a friend and I kept my mouth shut, to not appear abrasive.

 

[aviddiva77]

. This made me burst out laughing.

Ok yall know Lucie got that gansta streak in her. Her SO better be on his Ps and Qs.

 

[Sosa]

This is not true for me.

I have a lot of insight at the time. I was in love with my first, but not with my second and not with my 3rd. They were nice, upstanding guys that I felt love and cared for and that was all I wanted at the time. I knew it wasn't the most amazing love while I was actually in it.

Are you me? This is also my story.
Lol.