Misshairdiva
Well-Known Member
I dont even know what the title of this should be. I am so mad...
OK, so here it goes, gonna put my business all out there...
My husband is an overseas contractor in Afghan. He has worked there three years. He orginally went over because he had alot of debt. He handles all of the finances and gives me a nice big allowence. The problem with this arrangement is that I have no idea of what the "books" look like. He does all the banking online, we will plan to do things,then a week later he'll say to cancel whatever or to not to write the check, or to tell the person to rip up the check that I wrote and to write it from another account... and then when I ask him where the money is, he just says " I can't do everything" well, I know that he doesn't balance a check book. He pays bills and does budgets stuff from his head.. which to me is CRAZY!! And, this week was it. I had budgeted buying stuff to landscape the yard and to get some work done in the house, when it came to write the check he was like well, the money isn't there. I was like where is it? He said I had to pay bills, and I am like no sweety, you calculated this in remember?
I am to the point where now I am demanding that he show me over the phone how he does the bills online. Where the money goes, which bills he pays and how its paid. I finally told him that a marriage is a partnership and this is not a partnership. I feel like the hired help. I get paid, but have no input of the money that comes in this relationship and to me that is crazy. This is not even about me getting a job,because if I did and ingnored the sitution, he'd still be screwing up his end of the money!! With the big amount of money he makes to me he is not good at doing finances. If he were, with the money he makes he should be debt free. No one can understand how can he make what he makes and still have bills (I dont use any credit cards at all)
I sent him an email telling him how I feel, saying that I will no longer sit by and let him do the finances alone. That this is a partnnership and I need to be included. Final straw was when I get a piece of mail today. He took out a half a million insurance policy for me without telling me. Well, I read the fine print and if he were to die tommorow in Afghan, they wouldn't even cover him. I told him that he should have confided in me, that I would have asked the company to send me the fine print and I would have read it first before I dished out any money. Now, since I have power of attorney I have to call the company on Monday to cancel a policy that wont cover him all because he had to do it by himself.
OK, I am off my rant.
Input please ladies.
OK, so here it goes, gonna put my business all out there...
My husband is an overseas contractor in Afghan. He has worked there three years. He orginally went over because he had alot of debt. He handles all of the finances and gives me a nice big allowence. The problem with this arrangement is that I have no idea of what the "books" look like. He does all the banking online, we will plan to do things,then a week later he'll say to cancel whatever or to not to write the check, or to tell the person to rip up the check that I wrote and to write it from another account... and then when I ask him where the money is, he just says " I can't do everything" well, I know that he doesn't balance a check book. He pays bills and does budgets stuff from his head.. which to me is CRAZY!! And, this week was it. I had budgeted buying stuff to landscape the yard and to get some work done in the house, when it came to write the check he was like well, the money isn't there. I was like where is it? He said I had to pay bills, and I am like no sweety, you calculated this in remember?
I am to the point where now I am demanding that he show me over the phone how he does the bills online. Where the money goes, which bills he pays and how its paid. I finally told him that a marriage is a partnership and this is not a partnership. I feel like the hired help. I get paid, but have no input of the money that comes in this relationship and to me that is crazy. This is not even about me getting a job,because if I did and ingnored the sitution, he'd still be screwing up his end of the money!! With the big amount of money he makes to me he is not good at doing finances. If he were, with the money he makes he should be debt free. No one can understand how can he make what he makes and still have bills (I dont use any credit cards at all)
I sent him an email telling him how I feel, saying that I will no longer sit by and let him do the finances alone. That this is a partnnership and I need to be included. Final straw was when I get a piece of mail today. He took out a half a million insurance policy for me without telling me. Well, I read the fine print and if he were to die tommorow in Afghan, they wouldn't even cover him. I told him that he should have confided in me, that I would have asked the company to send me the fine print and I would have read it first before I dished out any money. Now, since I have power of attorney I have to call the company on Monday to cancel a policy that wont cover him all because he had to do it by himself.
OK, I am off my rant.
Input please ladies.
I presumed this too..ITA with the rest of your post.
If he's been working overseas for 3 years he should have easily eliminated the debt by now. I'm not suggesting he's maliciously hiding debts, but if he's not good at handling finances he may be embarrassed to show you the full extent of the damage.
