My family hates my natural hair

I am from the Arawak Indian tribe...

sorry, you had to go through this e-bullying:nono:....but hope you find what you are looking for in this forum.
 
Uh I didn't realize that post was posted yesterday. Anyways, I read that horribly offensive post and I almost made my cry. Thanks everyone for sharing that racist **** with me. Really. It was great. Yall are the worst troll catchers ever. Honest to God, do not ever go into that profession because yall have really hurt me deeply. I paid ****ing 6 dollars to just get criticized. Same **** my mom is doing to me.
 
NaturalNative said:
Wait...so yall think I am a troll because you don't think my tribe is legitimate enough for you? Oh, thank you. No really, thanks a whole ****ing lot. As if we don't get that enough. It's ****ing bad enough that a group of WHITE MEN decided the criteria for what it means to be a ****ing Native American, but now there is a group of people of color who have undergone similar struggles to Native peoples who are also telling me that I am not Indian enough. Thank you, really. We are on the eastern seaboard so we obviously came in first contact with European settlers and African slaves, so of course our tribe has some triracial heritage. But that does not making us any less Indian, just like Barack, Beyonce, and Halle are no less black. Thank you all for reinforcing the sterotype that in order for me to be Indian enough I have to look like a ****ing Pocahontas Disney Princess. This **** is bogus. At least now I know where not to look for support about my struggle with my hair. Yall are the ****ing trolls with your rude, racist asses.
Click to expand...

NaturalNative Whoa, calm down. A few people questioned whether you were a troll b/c of a Lumbee thread that was started yesterday. It has nothing to do with believing whether Lumbee people truly are Native American. I don't think I've ever seen or heard of Lumbee until yesterday; likewise, there has not been a person from your tribe to show up on the board until a day after the controversial thread. Just focus on getting advice and you will be fine! Plenty are willing to help.
 
NaturalNative said:
Uh I didn't realize that post was posted yesterday. Anyways, I read that horribly offensive post and I almost made my cry. Thanks everyone for sharing that racist **** with me. Really. It was great. Yall are the worst troll catchers ever. Honest to God, do not ever go into that profession because yall have really hurt me deeply. I paid ****ing 6 dollars to just get criticized. Same **** my mom is doing to me.
Click to expand...

NaturalNative - Please don't let a few meanies put you off..the majority of folks here are very helpful
 
I'm honestly just trying to get help with my family problem. Many of you are being wonderful, but others are being very unsupportive. Those of you who have negative comments, please just keep them to yourselves. And if you think I'm being dramatic, I think you're being annoying and unhelpful. Why even post if you have nothing constructive to contribute?
 
virtuenow said:
@NaturalNative Whoa, calm down. A few people questioned whether you were a troll b/c of a Lumbee thread that was started yesterday. It has nothing to do with believing whether Lumbee people truly are Native American. I don't think I've ever seen or heard of Lumbee until yesterday; likewise, there has not been a person from your tribe to show up on the board until a day after the controversial thread. Just focus on getting advice and you will be fine! Plenty are willing to help.
Click to expand...
Thank you. Wow.

Also, op, people tend to get 'jumped in' here. We're a tough crowd, but if you're here for hair help, I can't think of a better place.

eta: I quoted exactly what I thought was over-dramatic. I did not quote you.
 
NaturalNative said:
I'm honestly just trying to get help with my family problem. Many of you are being wonderful, but others are being very unsupportive. Those of you who have negative comments, please just keep them to yourselves. And if you think I'm being dramatic, I think you're being annoying and unhelpful. Why even post if you have nothing constructive to contribute?
Click to expand...

NaturalNative - Folks try to put others down, so they can feel better about themselves...put them on ignore and save your blood pressure..they are not worth it..
 
Kiowa said:
It is what it is..e-bullying ...folks can't even ask a question without being jumped on..:nono::nono:
Click to expand...
Actually no. She asked a question, several people answered, others questioned the timing. Stop trynna make this something it's not.
 
Honey Bee said:
Actually no. She asked a question, several people answered, others questioned the timing. Stop trynna make this something it's not.
Click to expand...

It is what it is..and reflects the tone of this board lately....and negative aspect trending on LHCF...
I've been here a while now...
You seem to have nothing better to do than e-stalk me from thread to thread...:grin::lol: it's getting old...
 
I'm getting reeeeaaaal tired of the word "bully" being thrown around all willy-nilly. :rolleyes:

Ain't nobody putting op down and ain't nobody no damn jealous. :rolleyes: A few people noticed the coincidence of that thread and her join date. We've been here long enough not to fall for the okey-doke.
 
Kiowa said:
It is what it is..and reflects the tone of this board lately....and negative aspect trending on LHCF...
I've been here a while now...
You seem to have nothing better to do than e-stalk me from thread to thread...:grin::lol: it's getting old...
Click to expand...
Now who's being messy? :rolleyes: :yawn:

And you actually edited your post to include that, I see you! Is this the 'negative aspect' of which you speak? :lol:
 
^^ I love this gif..

denialariverinegypt.jpg
 
Honey Bee said:
Now who's being messy? :rolleyes: :yawn:

And you actually edited your post to include that, I see you! Is this the 'negative aspect' of which you speak? :lol:
Click to expand...

Just calling you out...shoe seems to fit though..:grin::lol:

If you don't like my posts, why don't you put me on ignore, instead of acting like thread police?
 
Kiowa said:
Just calling you out...shoe seems to fit though..:grin::lol:
Click to expand...
Isn't that against forum rules, though??? :nono:

Ftr, I don't follow people from thread to thread because that's too much like work. No1curr.

It's a shame that you somehow managed to make this thread about you (and me, apparently). :spinning: If you got beef, take it to pm and leave this girl's thread alone. :yawn:
 
Honey Bee said:
Isn't that against forum rules, though??? :nono:

Ftr, I don't follow people from thread to thread because that's too much like work. No1curr.

It's a shame that you somehow managed to make this thread about you (and me, apparently). :spinning: If you got beef, take it to pm and leave this girl's thread alone. :yawn:
Click to expand...

That's ironic..since you were the first one to do that...especially since my responses were to NaturalNative and not to you...and you keep responding,so you must care:lol::grin::lachen:

Like i said, it take a lot more energy to be stalking me from forum to forum,than to hit the ignore button..
 
To be honest, it sounds like e-bullying to me. But... I've been lurking for a while so I know that's just the MO around here. People like drama and if they find good reasons to tag drama to a thread, poster, etc., then it's on.
It's not right but there's nothing you can do to stop it other than either calling 'em out (not a good idea, it adds fuel to the fire), or just let it wash over you and brush it off.
I can see how people would be suspicious but at the same time, seems like people like to jump to conclusions and immediately shut the door.
Don't worry bout the negatives on here.
Also, the thing with having ancestry in a different race is that you aren't any less of one than the other. You simply embrace all sides that make you up. Whether its .0025% African, 4.35% European, 88% Native, etc., it doesn't matter. Remember, whoever gave you that heritage (great great great great granddaddy, etc.) was a whole person. Percentages may have an effect on genetics and how you are biologically made up, but they've got nothing to do with anything else. It seems that some people on here are still in the mindset that you can't "claim" things that you don't look like.. Pfffft. You are what you are lol.
 
NaturalNative I think your hair looks fine in that picture. Pretty texture though to be honest your hair might have looked slightly dry. But that's very hard to tell and may be incorrect because sometimes when the camera flashes it gives hair a false sense of moisturization/shininess so that lack of shininess from a camera that didn't flash doesn't proove unhealthy hair...

Anyways all I was going to say is to search for products that work best for your hair/budget. Once you embrace your hair and get a regimen down pat maybe your family with turn around as well. If not then i would personally straight up tell them "this is how i plan to wear my hair...it is just hair and it makes me happy to wear it this way". They need to get over it.
 
NaturalNative I am very sorry that you have to witness the prejudice of your family. I have been part of this from my family and the little girls I grew up with about hair and other things. there is nothing you can do about your mother hitting you in your face. and I know you feel bad and it makes you not want to be home or come back once you get out on your own and do your thing. You will have to find the strength within yourself to let it by pass you. they will always be the way they are you have changed but don't let it all put a bridge between you and your family where you end up not talking to them again because of the way they treat you. just keep being you and say to yourself it is their lost, their lost that they didn't get to know you. and because your Lord made you different from your tribe so they can learn and they chose not to. because now we all know how they feel about us and my great grand parents were from NC but I think they were black foot. and we never got to know that side of the family and just now finding out after all these years that we have uncles. it had to be a reason for that.

Just think you will be out of there in a few weeks and you can be free from all the madness. what is it that you like doing to take your mind off of it?
 
NaturalNative Though my situation was not as extreme as yours, I know exactly what you are going through. I recently big chopped and at first my mother was anything but supportive. She said things like "your natural hair is ugly", "you'll never look nice ever again", "No one would hire you", "No one will marry you", "You look BAD!". Mind you, she said all this while I was cutting off my relaxed ends. To stop her, I didn't yell, but just firmly said, "Look, I know how to style my hair. I know what I'm doing". She left after that and I didn't hear a peep out of her for the rest of the night.
The point that I'm trying to make is to fight them with confidence. Don't let them see you cry, or yell, or look effected by their words and actions. Instead just show them that you love your hair. Once they see that their words have no effect on you, they might just quiet down and focus their negativity on something else.

(Typed on an iPhone)
 
I don't think she is a troll.

NaturalNative Sorry you're going through this. I would agree with the above. Have confidence in yourself and never let them see you sweat or fret about your hair. And I would add one thing that worked for me is to not let anyone engage me in negative conversation about my hair. If someone said something crazy to me I would change the subject or just flat out say "i'm not talking about my hair with you right now." That would stop it right in its tracks for me. Good luck to you!
 
NaturalNative said:
Wait...so yall think I am a troll because you don't think my tribe is legitimate enough for you? Oh, thank you. No really, thanks whole ****ing lot. As if we don't get that enough. It's ****ing bad enough that a group of WHITE MEN decided the criteria for what it means to be a ****ing Native American, but now there is a group of people of color who have undergone similar struggles to Native peoples who are also telling me that I am not Indian enough. Thank you, really. We are on the eastern seaboard so we obviously came in first contact with European settlers and African slaves, so of course our tribe has some triracial heritage. But that does not making us any less Indian, just like Barack, Beyonce, and Halle are no less black. Thank you all for reinforcing the sterotype that in order for me to be Indian enough I have to look like a ****ing Pocahontas Disney Princess. This **** is bogus. At least now I know where not to look for support about my struggle with my hair. Yall are the ****ing trolls with your rude, racist asses.
Click to expand...

Going by ur comments that ur tribe is anti black that would mean ur racist as well unfortunately having kinky hair would imply some blackness there . Also I dont know about this tribe but based on the other thread u guys are basically descendants of mulatto slaves which is why some view it as illegitimate almost comical (the whole idea of it all)

BTW- its hypothetical if the op is real.
 
The hayle...it does not mean she's racist BellaMarie. I'm black hispanic, where I'm from nobody trying to claim black but that doesn't mean that I personally am racist too. She hasn't said anything to belittle black so why call her racist? C'mon now. :perplexed

It would be a great idea to stop diminishing her tribe/roots right about now.
 
So Op my question to you mom would be: If I allow my hair to grow the natural way God intended to grow that means I am acting black right?

So if I relax my hair and make it straighter not the way in which it intended to grow what am I trying to be then?

Not saying everyone who straightens wants to be something they are not just trying to follow her line of thinking.

So sorry she laid hands on you, that is truly disrespecstful.

Give the forum a chance pls. Yes I even thought you were a troll for a moment. Guess I pre judged you and for that I am sorry.
 
I thought the drama and e-fighting was reserved for the ET and OT threads. Sheesh, I come here for a little bit of relief.

As far as the OP goes, I say just do what you like with the hair you were born with. Your mom has her own issues she has to deal with and you can do nothing about that. You aren't "trying to be black" You are working with what you have. And nothing is wrong with that. Give your mom a hug and tell her that you accept you and the hair you were born with and you hope someday she can too. And then, just keep on taking care of those cute curls.
 
NaturalNative said:
I have kinky hair, i think it's 3c/4a, and have got relaxers from age 5 until I was 21, in November of 2011. I'm Native American from the Lumbee tribe of NC, and since my other Natives do no have hair like mine, my mom has always gone to great lengths to keep it straight. Last year after I told her I was going natural and expressed excitement about it, she hit me in my face because she thinks I'm "trying to be black". She still today continues to make very negative comments about my hair. My cousins have called me "trashy" and said that i "probably have lice." Other family members make it a point to try to intervene about my hair (like I have a drug problem) by telling me how bad they think it looks or offering to pay for a relaxer or even sending my mom pictures of it curly and asking if it's okay if they say something to me about it. I am home for a few weeks this summer before beginning an internship in DC and am on the verge of becoming depressed at all of their comments. Could any of you please give me some advice or feedback on how to deal with the negativity? Anything would help.
Click to expand...
@NaturalNative,

Unfortunately, the experience of having those closest to you make snide remarks about your hair once you've decided to go natural is a common one.

You could say something like, "You've made it clear that you don't like my hair. This is what I'm doing to it now and you're free to not like it. Making snide remarks every time you see it is not going to change my mind. Attempts to wear down my resistance will fail."

Search threads here to see how 3c/4a folks are rocking their hair and try some styles.

Congrats on your internship.

If your mom decides to lay her hands on you again, call the cops.

You said you were going to be home for a bit but I'm not sure if you mean simply being back in your hometown or literally in mama's house. Try to limit your contact with them by staying busy.
 
Last edited:
Shadiyah said:
@NaturalNative I am very sorry that you have to witness the prejudice of your family. I have been part of this from my family and the little girls I grew up with about hair and other things. there is nothing you can do about your mother hitting you in your face. and I know you feel bad and it makes you not want to be home or come back once you get out on your own and do your thing. You will have to find the strength within yourself to let it by pass you. they will always be the way they are you have changed but don't let it all put a bridge between you and your family where you end up not talking to them again because of the way they treat you. just keep being you and say to yourself it is their lost, their lost that they didn't get to know you. and because your Lord made you different from your tribe so they can learn and they chose not to. because now we all know how they feel about us and my great grand parents were from NC but I think they were black foot. and we never got to know that side of the family and just now finding out after all these years that we have uncles. it had to be a reason for that.

Just think you will be out of there in a few weeks and you can be free from all the madness. what is it that you like doing to take your mind off of it?
Click to expand...
Your post makes no sense. So there is nothing she can do about verbal and physical attacks?? Stay around the family that is ridiculing her?? You would encourage someone to stay in an abusive and/or degrading situation b/c it's family????? OK, great advice.

BellaMarie said:
Going by ur comments that ur tribe is anti black that would mean ur racist as well unfortunately having kinky hair would imply some blackness there . Also I dont know about this tribe but based on the other thread u guys are basically descendants of mulatto slaves which is why some view it as illegitimate almost comical (the whole idea of it all)

BTW- its hypothetical if the op is real.
Click to expand...

Your post also makes no sense. Huh?? How does this make her racist!?? Between that and the run-on sentences, I can't!

There are trolls in this thread, but I don't think it's the OP people!!!! LOL!
 
Last edited:
Amarilles said:
The hayle...it does not mean she's racist BellaMarie. I'm black hispanic, where I'm from nobody trying to claim black but that doesn't mean that I personally am racist too. She hasn't said anything to belittle black so why call her racist? C'mon now. :perplexed

It would be a great idea to stop diminishing her tribe/roots right about now.
Click to expand...

Well i called her racist based on the TONE of her comments...maybe im reading between the lines too much but it sound to me like she was saying "who do blacks think they are criticizing another group of people".
She seemed very upset with the comments. Does she get this upset when her tribe members make negative comments about blacks too?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

prettywhitty
My mom hates my hair!
Replies
26
Views
5K
pazyamor
pazyamor
F
My Natural hair HATES shampoo!
Replies
23
Views
5K
Krystle~Hime
Krystle~Hime
DigitalRain
My mom hates my natural hair..
2
Replies
37
Views
9K
BlkOnyx488
BlkOnyx488
LightEyedMami
Father In Law Hates natural Hair!!!..VENT!
2
Replies
35
Views
5K
LookingandListening
LookingandListening
lovely_locks
mom hates my nappy hair.
Replies
24
Views
5K
lovely_locks
lovely_locks
Back
Top