My mom hates my hair!

[prettywhitty]

So I showed my mom my BC. She looked at me like I grew a second head and told me my dead grandmother would have a stroke if she saw me now. And it looked like she wanted to cry. I told her that I was growing it out again, just natural this time. She is still not happy. I have about 2-3 inches of natural hair. I like it. Hopefully she'll come around. Just had to vent.

 

[krissynick]

awww its okay shell come around once she see how well it grows.. maybe cause it was so drastic...

 

[Colliecole]

Awww (((HUGS)))

OP, you gotta understand a TWA on a black women is anything but traditional and we all know them older folks hold on to that traditional stuff for dear life. I mean, is it not a new day and age or what...

When you go againts the grain, there will always be resistance and sometimes rejection. Brush it off, dont hold it againts your mom. You have an understanding, a conciousness, and a personal connection to your new hair that she doesn't and may never understand...

ETA: I think it's a darn shame that black women wearing their beautiful, natural, God given curl and kink is considered "taboo" to some

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

Dag! I think you need this right about now....


Hopefully she will come around.

 

[Moroni]

Hey, just know we're behind you. Mothers are SUPPOSED to be skeptical if it's not their idea, after all, "Mother knows best!" Just know that she loves you, and wants what (she thinks) is best for you. I'm sure she's smart, though, because...well, she's your mother! So, she'll see the light when your growth takes off and your hair's the BOMB!!! Be patient, loving and humble in the meantime!

 

[anon123]

Awww *hugs*. We know what having long straight hair is for a lot of folks. They think you have to be crazy to cut it off. Fortunately, you don't have to think like that. And fortunate for mommy, it was your own hair you cut off and not hers. Just remember, this is something you did for yourself. I'm sure your hair is beautiful!

 

[Chromia]

I second what krissynick said. Your mom will come around, she's just not used to it yet.

 

[nappity]

As your hair grows and becomes even more lush and even more beautiful you'll get less resistance. Trust. She means well.

 

[prettywhitty]

Thanks so much! I knew on the front end that she probably would not like it, and my hair was BSL before. The only part that was hard was when she took a piece of my hair in her hand and said "It's nappy!" (Like it's the worst thing ever). I just said "I know." I will be patient and let it grow.
My dad just came home, looked at me, and shook his head. I'm moving after I pass nursing boards, which will be at the end of the month.

The funny thing is, everyone else who sees me, has complimented me. It will be ok.

 

[growth2come]

((hugs)) I wouldnt worry too much, I am sure she was just reacting to the drastic change you have made....I did that with my sister once...but that was from the sheer shock of how my sister could have thought it a good idea at the time to cut of most of her hair (out of envy for the long hair she cut that i didnt have erplexed)....I am sure she didnt mean it the way it came out she will come around when she knows your mission to grow healthy natural hair....happy growing!!!

 

[momi]

After I BC'd my grandmother told me "You are married to a preacher - what if all the other ladies use you as an example?" Huh? I just let it roll off of my back. Another generation....

You have to have the confidence you are doing what is best for you and your hair...

 

[momi]

After I BC'd my grandmother told me "You are married to a preacher - what if all the other ladies use you as an example?" Huh? I just let it roll off of my back. I said "worse things could happen"... Another generation....

You have to have the confidence you are doing what is best for you and your hair...

 

[drasgrl]

Wow, that's crazy. Such a strong reaction. Just shows how deep this brainwashing about how "bad" and "awful" our natural God given hair is. It's a real shame.

 

[Tallone]

Its hilarious that they take it so...PERSONAL!

 

[PinkSkates]

Congratulations...I'm sure your natural hair is beautiful!!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Old school black folks may be critical, but you have to do you. We are here to encourage you.

 

[gharp001]

As your hair grows and becomes even more lush and even more beautiful you'll get less resistance. Trust. She means well.

Exactly! She does means well, and still loves you!

My mother is my biggest fan and worst critic! She has Type 1 hair naturally straight, and I can honestly say, that I hid/avoided her while transistioning. I was nervious that she would be disappointed in my going natural, and surprising enough she took it well. After I explained that my hair is very fine like her's and that I felt that I was doing more damage with the relaxers than good. Over time she started to see the benefits for herself and started complimenting me on my hair and now wants a curly perm so that she can have curls.

Stay strong and true to yourself!

 

[AsTheCurlzTurns]

Wow, I agree with everyone here, it may come as a shock to others, but when it comes down to it, you have to do you. I admit when I did my first BC, I got lots of one question "WTF you cut off all your hair for?". And the best one as of late is by my dad, he actually asked me why I cut off all that hair since it was so long, I told him simply straight up, I was done with relaxers and I want to embrace what god gave me. He's very religious, and he couldn't say a word after what I stated, since it's true, that god gave us this hair. But no matter what outsiders say, just keep your head up and do what's best for you. I'm sure lots of LHCF'ers got your back up in this joint! I've gotten lots of interesting info from seniority naturals about things to do and some awesome tips. I plan to put them to good use as soon as I do my second BC to cut off the 1 inch of texturized ends from a texturizer I put in 2 days after my BC. Just keep your chin up, cuz I think on down the line when they see that beautiful head of yours, they'll be definitely complimenting it and WISHING they had that beautiful hair too. Big hugs to ya!

 

[Mystic]

Awww, so sorry to hear that. Try to hide it form her to minimise conflict but she will get over it real fast when she sees your long flowing natural hair; you will be an inspiration to her to go natural, mark my word. Hang in there.

So I showed my mom my BC. She looked at me like I grew a second head and told me my dead grandmother would have a stroke if she saw me now. And it looked like she wanted to cry. I told her that I was growing it out again, just natural this time. She is still not happy. I have about 2-3 inches of natural hair. I like it. Hopefully she'll come around. Just had to vent.

 

[blazingthru]

SO SORRY, to hear that I went through it too, My father didn't say much, he just looked at me and my mother was shocked. My brother said I looked a hot mess and my sister said girl you need make up and earrings because that just does not look right - It really doesn't, its so dry looking. I didn't have much support at all. But I didn't sway. My cousin and I BC at the sametime and since she lives in Atlanta she had to send her pictures via email and her family had nothing but negative things to say. I was the only one to respond to the email to tell her she looked wonderful. A year later after we persisted and made up new styles her mother my aunt got the razor and shaved her head completely bald. I mean the shiny head and has been natural every since. So do not get discourage about your parents they will come around. Your mom - to your shock might go natural too. You never know. My sister who is armpit length relaxed has been considering it as well.

 

[wannabelong]

Awwww, I'm sorry she doesn't like your hair. Give it some time, she's just not used to seeing you with your hair like that.

 

[Oasis]

You just have to keep it moving. My mom tried to make me get a text and my grandpa said I was setting a bad example for my 12 yo sister. Nevermind the fact that my 18 yo sister has 2 kids. I have about the same length as you, I'm sure they'll come around once it gets longer.

 

[Supervixen]

I didn't even do the BC, I've just been transitioning since Aug06 and my mom (and brother) make LOTS of fun about me.

I do hold their opinions in high regard, so I can understand that you feel 'some kinda way.' It'll be okay thought, once you start finding styles you like.

 

[Ms Lala]

Girl my mother hated my hair when I first went natural. SHe was always asking me "when are you going to comb your hair". Now years later my hair is thicker and longer than it's ever been and she's asking me for hair advice. Go figure, she'll most likely get over it and if she doesn't you'll still have head full of beautiful natural hair.

 

[Southernbella.]

So I showed my mom my BC. She looked at me like I grew a second head and told me my dead grandmother would have a stroke if she saw me now. And it looked like she wanted to cry. I told her that I was growing it out again, just natural this time. She is still not happy. I have about 2-3 inches of natural hair. I like it. Hopefully she'll come around. Just had to vent.

Aww...I hope you feel better! I know how a mother's words can cut like a knife. My mom saw my BC, and all she could say was, "Well, I'm sure that took a lot of courage." It hurt at first, but I realized that mothers mean well and want the best for us, and they are from an era when straight was best.

She'll come around, trust me. My mom was all up in my hair when she saw my twistout, asking if hers could do that.

 

[prettywhitty]

Wow, I just came home from church and logged on and was like when I read all of the warm and supportive replies. Thank you so much! For me, this is a new hair adventure, and I am so excited about what's ahead.
You guys rock!

 

[pazyamor]

My mom hates my choice of career, my choice of men, the way I dress, all 16 of my piercings, and the college I'm going to...and all your mom hates is your hair? Girl, you're lucky!

But on a serious tip, she's just not used to it and she's probably from the "straight is better" school of thought (like my family), so give her some time; and know, we got yo back! LHCF STAND UP! LOL!