Men Have No Incentive To Get Married.

[MD_Lady]

Many men can get all the benefits of marriage without the commitment of marriage. They can get regular sex, home coooked meals, house cleaned, kids, housemate, and pretty much anything else they could want from a woman with not even the promise of marriage. So yea I agree with your friend.

But the argument can also be made that the incentive for women has also been diminished because women can work and earn their own money and there is no stigma attached to being a single mom anymore.

The days of needing two incomes to lead a comfortable life are behind us. While I think the stigma of single motherhood exists (but varies between cultures and communities), the stigma of sex outside of marriage has DEFINITELY decreased for women through the years.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I agree that only a certain type of man thinks this way, who no one would probably want to be married to anyway (for personality reasons, not finances). At the end of the day, if you're a woman who wants to get married, stay away from men like this. Easy peasy.

Sent from my HTC Evo

 

[MD_Lady]

I disagree with OP's friend. Men DO have an incentive to get married. Many studies have been done on married men and the benefits they get....they rise professionally, economically, socially and healthwise, married men are healthier. They also get to perpetuate their legacy via their children from the marriage.

That aside, when women allow men to have all the trappings of marriage without the marriage, then....there is no incentive. Women need to stop falling for it and giving up everything they have to give to men who are not their husbands.

If both people are cool with co-habitation and marriage isn't in the cards any time soon (or at all), have at it. But (IMO) giving the man all of what he wants (the conveniences of a LTR) without getting any of what you want (marriage) is foolish.

 

[MonPetite]

The men I associate with have a timer ticking away in their heads, in regards to marriage.

They know they are getting married at some point.

They all know and some exploit the fact that some women will play wifey for them for now and they plan to turn around and marry what they really want later (leaving her high and dry). I let these types fall out of my social circle after discovering this.

The men I court/stay friends with don't shack up or sleep around because they are too busy working to get where they want to be to get married. The harder they work, the sooner they can enjoy the benefits of a wife (cooked meals, sex, companionship, etc.)

This means no time for foolishness.

This is why if/when we discover we're not a love match, we can still be friends.

I respect their priorities and they respect I won't tempt them or be a distraction.

They know I intend to be SOMEONE'S wife, so "coming at me like that" is a waste of time. They know another man like them (with things in common with me) is going to come along and I'll get married and that's that.

They just enjoy feminine company (platonic, no physicality) from time to time and that's fine. I enjoy getting a man's perspective on things from time to time myself.

They also know that I'll direct any galpals I have that may be a good match their way and vice-versa. It's a win-win.

Just being around other marriage-minded young people, even if we're meant to be friends and not spouses is reassuring. Were often told that were old-fashioned or stupid or nuts for wanting and believing in marriage --the good, bad, and ugly sides of it.

It's as though we're trying to bring back segregation or take the vote away from women just because WE want to get married (not even preaching everyone should be married, just that SOME of us DO believe in marriage).

Marriage minded men DO exist.

 

[ambergirl]

Well Dh's incentive to get married was me.... No seriously, I wonder if these men would view otherwise if they met the woman that really did it for them that they would do anything for her to spend the rest of their life with her.

There are men who are just wired to be married or single forever, but most men are like your DH. They will steady argue about how much they don't want to get married until they're either just done with being single or meet the woman they want to marry.

 

[yardyspice]

The only reason men think there's no incentive to get married is because sex is so easy and cheap. As someone said before, "The hoes are flucking it up for everybody."

 

[NYDee]

What is the stuff you see on here?

This is what my male friend concluded after our marriage/divorce/child support discussion ..but he's an attorney plus with some of the stuff I see on LHCF I can honestly understand his opposition to marriage, lol.

Is there anyone that agrees or disagrees with this sentiment?