Marrying a White Man for Hair

[werenumber2]

Halle Barry ain't "light-skinned"!!!! ??? He trippin'.

Oh to black men she most certainly is. She's one of their patron saints of biracial beauty.

 

[Kurlee]

ya'll always skewing the scale. Halle is light skinned and BM definitely consider her that. Is she ain't then Gabby Union must be charcoal.

 

[qchelle]

^^^yea, I was soo confused...people are saying she's not light-skinned? I have just witnessed an entirely new level of subjective *Thinks to self: not light-skinned? In what world? *

 

[Princess Tam Tam]

Ugh.....





A white father doesn't always equal to good hair.

My best friend had issues with her hair. She rocked short orphan Annie hairdo until High School.

 

[LunadeMiel]

ya'll always skewing the scale. Halle is light skinned and BM definitely consider her that. Is she ain't then Gabby Union must be charcoal.

That confused me too. I guess in to some you have to be damn near white to be considered lightskinned

 

[jennboo]

This happens because many blacks are brainwashed. It's not all the way our fault...but at a certain point you have to investigate, critically think about ish...and question why the status quo is the way it is...that's the only way to not fall for the okey doke...but sometimes it's just easier to take in what is spoonfed to us

 

[pisceschica]

I'm shaking my head. Slavery sure did mess us up. I look at other nationalities, and they just seem to be so proud of who they are and where they came from. I don't hear them self-depreciating themselves. They don't bragg when their children are biracial. You will never hear them say, "Ooh my child is mixed with white, or my child is mixed with black". On the other hand you will often here a black person, who has a biracial child proudly say "Ooh my child is mixed with white, or my child is mixed with Asian". We as black people need to be proud of where we came from and who we are. There is not one darn thing wrong with our hair, and we as black people are 1000% beautiful.

Strongly disagree. I don't think the texture of hair may be as much of a motivation for other ethnicities as it is for black women and men who purposely seeking non-black co-parents.

I've seen and heard of east indian women and men exclusively dating white so that their children's skin wouldn't be as dark as them.

I've heard mestizo (european/native american) women getting bleaching creams so they could be as light as their more white latina counterparts.

I'm pretty sure there are plenty of non-blacks/whites that brag about their children being bi-racial particularly when the child is half white and exhibits light features like hair and eye color. They may not brag about it but they are happy when their children come out with white features that differentiates their children from children of the other half.

Other groups' problems may not be as openly discussed as ours but they have them.

 

[pisceschica]

......

Why do BW hate their hair so much? I can understand being upset when having it braided, but seriously.... Why do BW hate their hair? I mean we love our bodies, faces, and what not... But the hair hatred, I just don't get.

Because its difficult to manage especially if you're someone that is low maintenance like myself. Yes I know this messageboard has very good tips but I don't like having to put all this effort into my hair for styling, health, and growth purposes.

I would say to an extent in some situations my hair dictates my life, namely my schedule. I will NOT go to the gym before I go to work unless I have at least 3 hours to get ready after I'm done working out? Why because I have fine 4b hair that I cannot simply wash, blow dry, flatiron and still have hair on my head. I would have none. But you see other groups of women have multiple chemicals in their hair still well past brastrap.

I personally wouldn't date someone simply because of features they have that I would want my children to have. But I can definitely see why looser hair textures are more favorable. I see young black toddlers/children visiting the salon on a weekly or bi-weekly basis because their mother doesn't want to spend hours trying to do their hair. Yes I know there are mothers of bi-racial black girls that do the same thing but generally speaking you don't see other groups taking their daughters to the salon as frequently as blacks.

 

[softblackcotton]

I know too many people with this mentality. On the flipside I also know women who will sleep with black men because they want a dark baby.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Where do they do that? Shocks the hello outta me! Never met a woman in my life that wanted darker kids.

 

[qchelle]

Because its difficult to manage especially if you're someone that is low maintenance like myself. Yes I know this messageboard has very good tips but I don't like having to put all this effort into my hair for styling, health, and growth purposes.

I would say to an extent in some situations my hair dictates my life, namely my schedule. I will NOT go to the gym before I go to work unless I have at least 3 hours to get ready after I'm done working out? Why because I have fine 4b hair that I cannot simply wash, blow dry, flatiron and still have hair on my head. I would have none. But you see other groups of women have multiple chemicals in their hair still well past brastrap.

I personally wouldn't date someone simply because of features they have that I would want my children to have. But I can definitely see why looser hair textures are more favorable. I see young black toddlers/children visiting the salon on a weekly or bi-weekly basis because their mother doesn't want to spend hours trying to do their hair. Yes I know there are mothers of bi-racial black girls that do the same thing but generally speaking you don't see other groups taking their daughters to the salon as frequently as blacks.

Is your hair natural or relaxed?

 

[pisceschica]

relaxed...

 

[nappystorm]

Where do they do that? Shocks the hello outta me! Never met a woman in my life that wanted darker kids.

I have I have a friend like this.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I have I have a friend like this.

Yes, as I stated earlier, I was one of them and I knew several women my complexion and lighter that felt the same way and GOT what they wanted. First off I'd have to say that these women were in LOOOOVE with darker skinned men period so a nice mid brown to dark baby was like the icing on the cake. My daughter is a tad darker than me...but I was over the whole thing by the time she was born. She was healthy and beautiful, what more could a mother possibly ask for...But overall it's still a complex that I would say is just as bad as all the other complexes. I wish I just appreciated who and what I was THEN like I do know. I dont care what complexion you or I am now. I care about how you treat me and what's in your heart... on the superficial tip...I do care that you are attractive though (which of course is as subjective and skin tone)...

I've heard the whole thing about Halle and Aaliyah not being light too. And old friend of mine, Bobby S who used to do Flava Videos told me that when he interviewed Aaliyah on the show, he realized that she was way darker than she appeared...*shrugs*

 

[chocolat79]

Where do they do that? Shocks the hello outta me! Never met a woman in my life that wanted darker kids.

My cousin's wife did. She's white, he's bi-racial. Her son looks just like her with straight hair But she said she wanted brown babies...um, #fail. She probably shouldn't have married someone bi-racial, but whatever.

 

[anon123]

Of all the dumb reasons to marry somebody, hair?! I don't care, I judge, and I'll say unabashedly that if this is one of the most important characteristics you have in choosing a spouse, you are an idiot.

 

[Solitude]

Where do they do that? Shocks the hello outta me! Never met a woman in my life that wanted darker kids.

Really???? You never noticed the occurrence of extremely light-skinned black people purposely seeking out dark-skinned mates? Or white women who exclusively date black men?

One of my white childhood friends just loves that her daughter is bi-racial (mixed with black). She only dates black men, even though she has friends of all races.

 

[softblackcotton]

Oh ok. She's a rarity. In regards to BW I've never met a woman in my life who intentionally wanted darker babies. They maybe attracted to darker men due to the contrast of skin tones or perceived false notion of greater masculinity in darker skin but not intentionally for the sake of darker babies especially if they went to predominantly black American schools.

 

[pisceschica]

Really???? You never noticed the occurrence of extremely light-skinned black people purposely seeking out dark-skinned mates? Or white women who exclusively date black men?

One of my white childhood friends just loves that her daughter is bi-racial (mixed with black). She only dates black men, even though she has friends of all races.

Maybe its just my experience but I have noticed the majority of light skinned or bi-racial mixed with black light skinned women would date very dark skinned black men. Even on this board I have noticed some of the women that fit this physical description say they don't care for light skinned men and preferred their dark chocolate.

Like others have said I don't think people will openly admit that they are dating a specific type seriously because they want their children to exhibit their features. I strongly feel people would have a more puzzled response to someone saying they wanted their child to be darker than them instead of light.

Everyone gets made fun of for something regardless of how light or dark they are. There are a number of dark skinned people that selectively breed with people of a lighter hue so their child can be light I don't find it difficult to believe that a fair or very dark skinned person would procreate with someone so their child can have a little or a lot more color. It may not happen as often but it does happen.

 

[nysister]

On another discussion forum, I read a post by a black woman who dated white men not only because she was personally attracted to them, but also because she wanted her children to have nice hair.

What do you guys think of this? Do you know people who do such things?

Oh good grief. Yes others do it, but it's still dumb. No thankfully I don't know anyone like that, and if they are, I really hope they never say it out loud to me.

My latino acquaintancethat if she marries a white guy with blue eyes, her children will have blue eyes. She's becoming a doctor....so I thought she understood that genetics isn't that simple.

I NEED a private island, because I cannot deal with what passes for human these days.
I'm so glad you called her an acquaintance and I hope she doesn't graduate as a Doctor, because obviously not intelligent enough to. We are talking basic genetics here.

You know, I hope with this "Natural Hair Movement" and people like Mwedzi proving that our hair is absolutely fabulous, this mentality with die out.

So sad, because our hair is VERY unique. Even animals do not tend to have afro-textured hair/fur.

It is both of those things, and powerful. Just like our skin. POWERFUL! I'm only just learning how much so.

 

[nysister]

When I was with my white Ex, I was always afraid of getting pregnant with a little girl with blond (highlighted) hair. I know it was wrong, but I thought that people would think she a (ahem) empty headed pretty girl. I don't like blond hair at all, and have some... problems with blondes. But I reconciled that even if my child ended up with that crappy color, I would just have another "talk" about the society's perceptions about her.

That's because it's colorless and looks like dry wheat or corn. I don't want my hair to be the color of vegetables .

I'm so glad to know it's not just me. ROFL I'll love my child no matter how they come out, but I really hope that they look a lot like me, especially if it's a girl. I've always wanted a little girl that looks like ME! Whatever I have one day, and whatever they look like though, I'll just be happy that they're healthy...I still hope that they look like me.

 

[Lynn84]

I know someone who I suspect did this. You can imagine how ecstatic she was when the child came out & was classified as white on the hospital paperwork. All I could do was SMH and think of that movie The Human Stain. I wonder how she would feel if that ends up happening to her when the child grows up.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

This happens everyday and not just cause the person is white, it could be anyone one who is lighter with softer texture hair. This to me is just self hatred and people who don't want their children looking like them. I am not surprise because this is the society we live in. it is ignorant but hey what can we do.

 

[Lovelylife]

Because its difficult to manage especially if you're someone that is low maintenance like myself. Yes I know this messageboard has very good tips but I don't like having to put all this effort into my hair for styling, health, and growth purposes.

I would say to an extent in some situations my hair dictates my life, namely my schedule. I will NOT go to the gym before I go to work unless I have at least 3 hours to get ready after I'm done working out? Why because I have fine 4b hair that I cannot simply wash, blow dry, flatiron and still have hair on my head. I would have none. But you see other groups of women have multiple chemicals in their hair still well past brastrap.

I personally wouldn't date someone simply because of features they have that I would want my children to have. But I can definitely see why looser hair textures are more favorable. I see young black toddlers/children visiting the salon on a weekly or bi-weekly basis because their mother doesn't want to spend hours trying to do their hair. Yes I know there are mothers of bi-racial black girls that do the same thing but generally speaking you don't see other groups taking their daughters to the salon as frequently as blacks.

This is me. That's why I had to relax. It was hard letting dead protein dictate my life.

I self hate that I'm so bad at science and math. If I could marry that a math or science genius I would be ecstatic.

 

[werenumber2]

I've heard the whole thing about Halle and Aaliyah not being light too. And old friend of mine, Bobby S who used to do Flava Videos told me that when he interviewed Aaliyah on the show, he realized that she was way darker than she appeared...*shrugs*

Yeah, I don't get that. Does he not realize black folks have the ability to tan? And tan quite easily, at that? To say that someone isn't as light or dark as the public may think based on the ONE time you saw them in person doesn't make too much sense. Even in candid, un-retouched pictures Aaliyah's skintone is consistent with how she looked in magazines, music videos, awards shows, etc.

 

[Transformer]

Where do they do that? Shocks the hello outta me! Never met a woman in my life that wanted darker kids.[/QUOTE]


We should arrange to meet then.

 

[Mortons]

Because its difficult to manage especially if you're someone that is low maintenance like myself.

Now this is a lie. My nautural takes me less time and products than my relaxed hair ever did, and its grown a lot longer. I'm as low maintenance as they come. We need to call it what it is. Not wanting to learn a necessary skill.

 

[ppp422]

I had an acquaintance say this to me, "Girl, I have to find a man with good hair so my kids don't have to deal with this. I have to give my kids good hair."

I was shocked because she is a thirty something, natural hair wearing sista........I was driving the car and went into shock. I said, "All hair is beautiful. The way God makes us is just fine." I just can't deal with that mentality. I feel people like that have been brainwashed by society and just aren't good energy. I am very happy that my parents raised me to be confident in myself. We need to accept ourselves, just because someone is lighter, darker, taller, shorter, with straight or wavy hair doesn't make them any smarter or better than you.

I guess it bothers me because black people are failing to realize their strength beauty. A self assured, confident, black person is so special and enigmatic.

 

[arosieworld]

Now this is a lie. My nautural takes me less time and products than my relaxed hair ever did, and its grown a lot longer. I'm as low maintenance as they come. We need to call it what it is. Not wanting to learn a necessary skill.

Harsh
I think that totally depends on you, your hair and the way you style your hair......

Some people may have all the skills in the world but find using one or the other easier as a preference.....

Personally I think relaxed hair is easier but not thick enough on my head.......

 

[Mortons]

I think that totally depends on you, your hair and the way you style your hair......

Some people may have all the skills in the world but find using one or the other easier as a preference.....

Harder to deal with and unmanageable are two completely different things.

 

[ebonylocs]

I'm shaking my head. Slavery sure did mess us up. I look at other nationalities, and they just seem to be so proud of who they are and where they came from. I don't hear them self-depreciating themselves. They don't bragg when their children are biracial. You will never hear them say, "Ooh my child is mixed with white, or my child is mixed with black".

Definitely not true. Many Asians, hispanics etc are quite glad to mix with whites and have lighter skinned children. We need to remember that no pathology is unique to blacks, as much as some of us like to think that we are specially flawed.

Yes, I've heard of this. So sad . But it can also go both ways, as I've even heard that some white women do it too with black men, because they want "cute babies with cute hair and cute skin". What a vain mentality

I have definitely seen this - white people who want brown-skinned, curly-headed babies.