Marrying a White Man for Hair

vtoodler said:
On another discussion forum, I read a post by a black woman who dated white men not only because she was personally attracted to them, but also because she wanted her children to have nice hair.

What do you guys think of this? Do you know people who do such things?
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I think its a retarded, stupid, self hating, and a whole lot of other things.

People do it all the time only its not limited to white men. They can be Asian, Puerto Rica, Indian, ect. :(
 
I know too many people with this mentality. On the flipside I also know women who will sleep with black men because they want a dark baby.


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vtoodler said:
On another discussion forum, I read a post by a black woman who dated white men not only because she was personally attracted to them, but also because she wanted her children to have nice hair.

What do you guys think of this? Do you know people who do such things?
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women & girls use to do this all the time... typically not white....but picking light, MIXED, and curly haired guys to project a certain LOOK in their offspring

I remember people always saying (college/highschool) "he has got that baby daddy hair":lachen::lachen:... quite common

guys do it too actually (ask all the guys you know whether this was considered in highschool & college)
 
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I don't know anyone personally that has done this but I saw a YT vid where a black man said he's gonna marry a latina so the kids will have good hair. Of course he's to stupid to realize that those chances are very slim! I wonder myself how that's gonna work but it will be a good minute before I find out.
 
i've actually been told i should marry a white man for this reason. my friend and i were playing Super Mario Brothers and all the sudden she blurts out "you should marry a white dude." i asked why and she said my hair was too nappy and i shouldn't pass that on to my future kids. :rofl: i couldn't even be mad because it was so random.

one of my cousins has 2 kids by a white guy. she dates black men but she does everything in her power to NOT get pregnant by one. she's never actually said she wants mixed kids but it makes me wonder.
 
Elle97 said:
OMG! I remember the first time I heard anyone say this. I was eleven and she was twelve. She says, "I like him but I'm gonna marry a white man so my babies can have guud hurr!" I was like, "What?! That doesn't make any sense!" I promise.... I wish I had stayed in the dark about that type of thing...

ETA: This racial stuff is learned. My friend obviously grew up around someone or something that introduced the idea to her that her "black" hair was bad and a white person's was good. She can unlearn it. Too bad we can't "unlearn" a whole society's way of thinking. Or can we?
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Boom! This is correct.

This thread is timely because I came across a young lady who point blank said, "I date black guys, but I'd never marry one, I want to have bi-racial kids because I have n*gga hair." :blush: She was dead serious, apparently it's due to her family's prodding and the fact that her younger half-siblings are racially mixed. I guess she's trying to make up for something from her childhood?
 
qchelle said:
Jesus Christ. I think a genetics class should be required before people have children. So stupid :nono:
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Yes, I recall my Bio I prof. talking specifically about racial mixing during genetics :look: and in terms of percentages of traits expressing in the offspring, it really is a toss up.
 
People have been doing this forever. Finding traits in a man that the want in their children has been happening since caveman times. People may see it as selfish or stupid but its their own preference so if someone tells me they want mixed babies I say "ok do what you do" and keep it at that.
 
Spiffy said:
Boom! This is correct.

This thread is timely because I came across a young lady who point blank said, "I date black guys, but I'd never marry one, I want to have bi-racial kids because I have n*gga hair." :blush: She was dead serious, apparently it's due to her family's prodding and the fact that her younger half-siblings are racially mixed. I guess she's trying to make up for something from her childhood?
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......:ohwell:

Why do BW hate their hair so much? I can understand being upset when having it braided, but seriously.... Why do BW hate their hair? I mean we love our bodies, faces, and what not... But the hair hatred, I just don't get.
 
I'm shaking my head. Slavery sure did mess us up. I look at other nationalities, and they just seem to be so proud of who they are and where they came from. I don't hear them self-depreciating themselves. They don't bragg when their children are biracial. You will never hear them say, "Ooh my child is mixed with white, or my child is mixed with black". On the other hand you will often here a black person, who has a biracial child proudly say "Ooh my child is mixed with white, or my child is mixed with Asian". We as black people need to be proud of where we came from and who we are. There is not one darn thing wrong with our hair, and we as black people are 1000% beautiful.
 
CarmelCupcake said:
I'm shaking my head. Slavery sure did mess us up. I look at other nationalities, and they just seem to be so proud of who they are and where they came from. I don't hear them self-depreciating themselves. They don't bragg when their children are biracial. You will never hear them say, "Ooh my child is mixed with white, or my child is mixed with black". On the other hand you will often here a black person, who has a biracial child proudly say "Ooh my child is mixed with white, or my child is mixed with Asian". We as black people need to be proud of where we came from and who we are. There is not one darn thing wrong with our hair, and we as black people are 1000% beautiful.
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You haven't looked at all then... I thought I got tore back this Christmas.
Do you know any asian or hispanic people?
 
See...I don't really have a problem with people having preferences for mates because of what they want their offspring to look like. Because, right, people always do this...have been doing this, will continue to do this...it's only natural. Right.

What bothers me is when the person gets babies that don't look like what they wanted...and then they make that child feel inferior because of it. That's called breeding ignorance. That's not cool and only does damage.

And this applies to any child. Whether you want nappy-haired brown ones or curly-haired light ones. If any child is being made to feel less-than (even a little)...that's a problem.
 
shes so dumb.my dad has 1a/b hair and my hair is mostly 4a.

I remember one guy i was talking to told me that he doesnt want to marry a black girl because he wants his kids to have light skin and "good hair" and then he proceeded to tell me that the only black girl he would marry is me because i have light skin and "good hair" Im 99.95% sure if he had met me when i was natural he wouldnt have said that
 
Yes, I've heard of this. So sad :nono:. But it can also go both ways, as I've even heard that some white women do it too with black men, because they want "cute babies with cute hair and cute skin". What a vain mentality :nono:
 
I don't think people are stupid for this. They're only spitting out what's been told to them for years. If they grow up around other races, their ideals of beauty changes significantly. There are some people who prefer what they grow up around, and others who prefer what is different from them.

I've seen many stories of "preferences"

Once I read about a white guy who only dated dark skinned, afro haired black women because he loved the difference in appearance and the texture of the hair.

I have a friend of Swedish descent who has very blonde hair and light blue eyes. She wants to marry a blonde haired. blue eyed guy and have little blonde haired boys. She's the sweetest person I ever met. It's just her preference.

There are people of other races out there who find afro hair to be so exotic looking that they are naturally attracted to it. There's a guy at my college who is mixed with big afro hair...you can tell he loves it so much. Girls are really drawn to him (he's very pure though lol).

I know several white girls who come from very white towns and who love black babies and dark curly hair.
 
A close friend of mine is quite unapologetic concerning her preference for only lite skinned men to have children with. She feels light skinned kids are cuter and will grow up and have an easier life.
 
HAHAH I always thought that was funny. I've dated mostly guys with long hair ( all races)--- mostly because I've always liked wilder guys and their is a correlation. and a lot of girls would say that our kids will have hair. THAT IS HILARIOUS !having a kid with a guy for that reason is really dumb.... instead of having a kid with someone you love and who will take care of the baby!
 
Hmm, more people feel this way than they will EVER admit. Everybody's gonna say what sounds good. Oh how I wish someone would just keep it realer that real deal holyfield. :lol:

I am a product of this type of mix....some would look at my dad and say, oh you just married her (my mom) because she was Hispanic or whatever. My dad was in love with my mom's beauty and her fiyah. At least that's what he told me :lol: anywho I digress perhaps. Just wondering who would really admit to that.

I'm the chick that wanted a dark skinned man for a hopefully a mid brown to darker baby. I admit that I had a complex too...it goes both--hell many many ways.
 
frida1980 said:
When I was with my white Ex, I was always afraid of getting pregnant with a little girl with blond (highlighted) hair. I know it was wrong, but I thought that people would think she a (ahem) empty headed pretty girl. I don't like blond hair at all, and have some... problems with blondes. But I reconciled that even if my child ended up with that crappy color, I would just have another "talk" about the society's perceptions about her.

IR children are a genetic gamble. They can look like any combination of things. One of my uncles married a German woman and had 9 children together. Only one of them have "good hair" but everyone's hair ALWAYS looked just awful! Even though it was technically between 2 and 3. It was like there were a bunch of straight hair and curl hairs mixed together and it they looked just strange. there was just something about it that wouldn't tolerate basic styling. It couldn't be braided, it couldn't be pressed. In the end their mom decided to cut them into odd frizzy shoulder length. The appearance was kinda embarrassing. I think now that I'm older I realize that their hair was just being mistreated and needed to be handled differently. Too late now. The moment all of them got to middle school, they all relaxed, including the one with the "good" hair.
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i knew some girls like this and their hair was awful and their mom (white) cut their hair into a 2inch fade.:nono: Those girls had identity issues for days.

ETA: I never understood the obsession with blonde hair either. I don't see the big whoop over it. And blue eyes:look:
 
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My cousin knows someone who said she didn't want her children to have "nappy" hair, so she married a Filipino guy. Welp, she got her wish. Her children have 1a/b hair and they look NOTHING like her! I mean, you can't even tell they are mixed seriously. They look like they belong to him and only him, LOL. Then she would get mad because people would question if those were her children....:lachen::lachen:

Be careful what you ask for.

BTW, she is a dark-skinned BW.
 
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