Married Ladies...were you attracted to your husbands when you all met?

[meecee]

Same here. DH was actually one of the first few people I met at work on my first day. I walked near his office and BAM there he was! He started making small talk and I was so nervous because it was my first day that I scurried off like a mouse. I really didn't pay his face any attention. Later that day he caught me in the hallway and started talking to me AGAIN. I tried to blow him off and told him to email me thinking that he didn't know my name. Wouldn't you know that by the time I returned to my desk, I had an email from him. Been stuck with him since.

Cutest story ever!

 

[hopeful]

I had not idea so many people weren't initially attracted to their dh's. I always thought "most" people were like me and smitten right away! Very interesting...

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I had not idea so many people weren't initially attracted to their dh's. I always thought "most" people were like me and smitten right away! Very interesting...

I agree!!

I'm actually quite surprised from the poll that some people were even REPULSED by their SO/Husband when they first met them!! I'm sorry, but I don't think I could end up with a guy who repulsed me at first meeting. First impressions run deeeeep! lol!


But honestly, I'm not even looking for an "Adonis" in looks....just a guy who when I first meet him, he catches my eye somehow. OR, even if he DOESN'T catch my eye, I want to at least think he's sorta cute, not hard to look at, and be drawn to getting to know more and more about him. If he has a nice body then that's an ADDED bonus! However, personality and intelligence is what really REELS me in and causes me to be ATTRACTED to a man.

I've known some very nice-looking guys, but they just didn't do "IT" for me. They weren't bad, and they definitely weren't ugly, but there just wasn't any attraction there. So it's definitely not JUST about looks. In fact, a lot of times no offense but when I see or meet a man who is very nice-looking or easy on the eyes, I automatically assume that he's either:
-taken already/married
-a player
-gay
-a womanizer
-dumb
-or egotistical and arrogant

I REALLY need to work on this mind-set though....

Hmm....come to think of it, if this is what I subconsciously think about good-looking men, then it's no WONDER that I haven't attracted a nice-looking man that I'm actually attracted to!!! WOW!! :scratchch

Hmmmm.... :scratchch I think I just had an epiphany!

 

[Skyfall]

I agree!!

I'm actually quite surprised from the poll that some people were even REPULSED by their SO/Husband when they first met them!! I'm sorry, but I don't think I could end up with a guy who repulsed me at first meeting. First impressions run deeeeep! lol!


But honestly, I'm not even looking for an "Adonis" in looks....just a guy who when I first meet him, he catches my eye somehow. OR, even if he DOESN'T catch my eye, I want to at least think he's sorta cute, not hard to look at, and be drawn to getting to know more and more about him. If he has a nice body then that's an ADDED bonus! However, personality and intelligence is what really REELS me in and causes me to be ATTRACTED to a man.

I've known some very nice-looking guys, but they just didn't do "IT" for me. They weren't bad, and they definitely weren't ugly, but there just wasn't any attraction there. So it's definitely not JUST about looks. In fact, a lot of times no offense but when I see or meet a man who is very nice-looking or easy on the eyes, I automatically assume that he's either:
-taken already/married
-a player
-gay
-a womanizer
-dumb
-or egotistical and arrogant

I REALLY need to work on this mind-set though....

Hmm....come to think of it, if this is what I subconsciously think about good-looking men, then it's no WONDER that I haven't attracted a nice-looking man that I'm actually attracted to!!! WOW!! :scratchch

Hmmmm.... :scratchch I think I just had an epiphany!

The bolded struck a very deep chord with me, now how can I change mindset thus changing the behavior?

 

[DarkHair]

He was cute. He looked like a 16 year old boy, but was 20. He had a great presentation. I fell in love with his eyes and the way he walks. I still am attracted to those things about him.*goes to get ice*

 

[Kimberly]

When I first met FH 22 1/2 years ago, I was VERY attracted to him. When I bumped into him again last year, notsomuch... He looked a MESS! I told him that had he been anyone else, I would not have given him the time of day. That we could be friends but I didn't see it going any further than that. I gave him tips/suggestions thinking I'd help him fix himself up FOR SOMEONE ELSE...I was absolutely NOT interested!

It's funny to think back on that now. First things he had to do was shave and clip and clean those nasty @ss fingernails. I understand he's a mechanic...but I was like, you eat with those and want to hold someone's hand...MY hand...with your hands looking like that So far, he has pretty much done everything I've asked him to do...I just need to make his dental and doctor's appointments and we'll be all good for the wedding!

 

[Zaynab]

Shoot no....I thought he looked like a banana and was goofy as hell

He wore me down though. He was so down to earth, gentlemanly, humble and quietly smart. and now I think he's like the finest, love will do that to you, ok and good sex

 

[OneShinyface]

Nope. Met in college. He was the star sprinter on the track team. Very loud and very arrogant. I already had a man - my high school sweetheart who was the star football player at another college and they were fraternity brothers.

Guess his persistence won me over in the end.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

The bolded struck a very deep chord with me, now how can I change mindset thus changing the behavior?

Good question Danibeeja! I wish I knew the true answer to that question as well.

I guess I have a mental block because the last guy friend that I truly fell in love with was handsome, and he ended up playing games w/me, treating me like dirt, etc. Plus, I've seen a lot of handsome guys do my girlfriends wrong, or I've seen that a lot of them are players. So now days I don't really trust good looking men. In fact, when I see a nice-looking guy I just automatically assume that I couldn't get with him because he's probably either taken already, or is a "player" like the rest of them. I guess part of me believes that if he's THAT good looking, then he'd be taken already by SOMEONE.

But I REALLY need to get over this mindset...otherwise I'll never give any good-looking guys a chance, and deep down I'll be wondering why I can never "attract" some attractive-looking men! LOL! It's a never-ending cycle!

The TRUTH is, there ARE some men who are not bad looking, who ARE also smart, gentlemanly, humble, serious about relationships, and are looking to find a woman who doesn't play games and would make a good wife some day. These men DO exist!


I guess the best way to get out of that mindset is to tell yourself to TRUST any man that comes your way (not just the ugly ones lol ), and give ALL men a chance until that particular man shows his "true colors". I mean, looks aren't everything....so I guess the main lesson here is to not judge a man by his looks....even the "nicer" looking ones.

 

[exoticmommie]

Yes I was attracted to him, and as the dating progressed and we fell more in love, I wanted to rip his clothes off, and I did on our honeymoon night.

 

[SOdie429]

It's funny...before we even met I used to him around and I'd always say to myself "Ohh Emm Geee, who is that!?" I had the biggest crush on him.
We met officially on a detail (we're in the army) and when he walked into the room I swear he had angel wings or something because there was a light around him LOL. I couldn't stop staring at him. We got to talking for a little bit and went on dates then we got married like a month later!

 

[NOEChic]

with my ex when i first saw him i thought he was CUTE...then i say him the next day and and was dumbfounded bc he was not cute lol

 

[nubiennze]

If I may ask, why didn't you guys get together the first time (22 1/2 years ago)? What was different this time around--after you saw him looking a mess?

When I first met FH 22 1/2 years ago, I was VERY attracted to him. When I bumped into him again last year, notsomuch... He looked a MESS! I told him that had he been anyone else, I would not have given him the time of day. That we could be friends but I didn't see it going any further than that. I gave him tips/suggestions thinking I'd help him fix himself up FOR SOMEONE ELSE...I was absolutely NOT interested!

It's funny to think back on that now. First things he had to do was shave and clip and clean those nasty @ss fingernails. I understand he's a mechanic...but I was like, you eat with those and want to hold someone's hand...MY hand...with your hands looking like that So far, he has pretty much done everything I've asked him to do...I just need to make his dental and doctor's appointments and we'll be all good for the wedding!

Hmm...did he stop exhibiting those characteristics?

Nope. Met in college. He was the star sprinter on the track team. Very loud and very arrogant. I already had a man - my high school sweetheart who was the star football player at another college and they were fraternity brothers.

Guess his persistence won me over in the end.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

Oh yes! I remember when I first met up with him again as adults (we met as teens), I got that "urge to conquer". But as we got to know each other I found that I was connecting to him on deeper levels. I'm still very attracted to him on all levels.

 

[GaiasDaughter24]

I thought my husband was cute but I wasn't ATTRACTED to him. I was going after another guy. My husband typically isn't my type either, looks wise. My ex was my type, tall,skinny, white with blonde hair and blue eyes. But I can honestly say my ex and I NEVER would have worked out. It took four years to realize that he was HOTT but was as dumb as a rock. Sweetheart, though but stalker-ish and obsessive. He was like the type that would kill me before he'd let me break up with him

My DH is tall, mulatto and 300llbs. When I first met him he walked up to me and picked me up with one hand and said "See, you're not fat" (It was a convo I was having with mutual friends) All I could think was "Who the hell is this and why is he picking me up? Oooh, he has nice hair though"

We hung out and he tried to date me but I just didn't see it because he was quiet. But once I found out that he liked Harry Potter, enjoyed anime AND could hold an intelligent conversation, I was hooked. He's perfect for me. He's a sweetheart and treats me EXTREMELY well. Now, I look at him with different eyes.I always thought he was attractive but now I notice just HOW beatiful he is and I tell him that all the time since he doesn't believe it so much himself. But he really is physically beautiful. I definetly find him attractive but I think it's enhanced because I'm attracted to him. Does that make sense? lol

 

[blkbeauty]

Well just like in astrology. There are various personality and what drives some doesn't drive others. For instance, an intelligent man with a great personality is a beautiful man to me. I can have burst of silent orgasms just by a man's intellect and bypass men who are sterotypical physically beautiful. There have been men that I have turned down who some women would take the drawers off for and say "girl he is Fionnnee!!! e.g Reggie Bush (arrogant) instant turndown, Jay-Z great personality, instant turnon.

Since my interest notice intellect/personality first, when I met my husband who was my neighbor, I liked him and after dating him a couple of weeks, I really really was into him. After getting engaged, he met most of my friends and family and they thought he was fione. And I can easily say he is, but the attraction was deeper than that!

Added:
Its funny to how some woman only see the physical. My ex was half Italian/half black. He was light skin with curly hair and was very verbally abusive and ARROGANT. I was a teen when I started dating him and later I realized that I wasn't attracted to him. I dating him mainly because my peers kept drowning my ears on how he was fine which equals A CATCH! Everytime I would leave, I would hear I was stupid, because he was soo soo fione! his ex before me pressed charges on him twice for assault and now even 13 years later, she is emailing me for his info.

 

[fletches]

No, I wasn't initially attracted to DH. He's attractive, but he wasn't "my type". I ignored him at first, but he was persistent.

One day I agreed to go to dinner with him & we started talking and that's when I became hooked. His intelligence attracted me the most and then I started looking at him differently.

 

[fletches]

Nope was not attracted to DH at all. But he was so PERSISTENT. I did everything possible to ignore him and he still didnt go away It wasnt that he wasnt attractive, I just wasnt feeling him.

Fast forward 9 years of dating and married 17 years

OMG, I didn't even read this before I posted. It's almost exactly what I wrote

 

[LisaLisa1908]

I met DH when I was 13 and he was 14, so I wasn't thinking about ripping off NOTHING. LMAO. But yes, I thought he was a cutie then, and 22 years later, I think he's a cutie now!