Married Ladies Random Thoughts

@Miss617 I hope you feel better now.
I know you are busy with work and the house, is it possible for you to pick up a hobby? Something to keep you engaged for some time of your day that is just for you? I started sewing this year. The stress of work and parenting and being a wife melts away when I am sewing. It takes me 6-7hours spread over a week to sew a single garment...lots of time when I could just buy it but I take it like a therapy time.
I really hope you feel joyous again soon. Glad things are better with your DH
 
@tolly I feel a little better but it's still there. Just trying to push it out of my mind so I can enjoy spending time with my son. I have been wanting to try jewelry making, I just haven't gotten around to getting the tools yet, so I should just do it already.

I think the other thing I need to do is deactivate my Facebook :-\ It's so stupid, but I feel inadequate compared to my peers. I have been thinking about going back to school for years, and now is when I'm seeing pictures of people's graduations and awards ceremonies. Or vacation pictures. I didn't really get to enjoy my 20s because I had my son the year after I got married, and now I feel like I'm working myself to death with multiple jobs to pay off my student loans... ugh. I'm rambling. It's just been harder than usual to block all this stuff out lately. I have to stop letting it get to me.
 
tolly said:
@Miss617 I hope you feel better now.
I know you are busy with work and the house, is it possible for you to pick up a hobby? Something to keep you engaged for some time of your day that is just for you? I started sewing this year. The stress of work and parenting and being a wife melts away when I am sewing. It takes me 6-7hours spread over a week to sew a single garment...lots of time when I could just buy it but I take it like a therapy time.
I really hope you feel joyous again soon. Glad things are better with your DH
Click to expand...
I need to get back to my sewing. I have an obscene amount of fabric just waiting to be used.
 
Miss617 said:
@tolly I feel a little better but it's still there. Just trying to push it out of my mind so I can enjoy spending time with my son. I have been wanting to try jewelry making, I just haven't gotten around to getting the tools yet, so I should just do it already.

I think the other thing I need to do is deactivate my Facebook :-\ It's so stupid, but I feel inadequate compared to my peers. I have been thinking about going back to school for years, and now is when I'm seeing pictures of people's graduations and awards ceremonies. Or vacation pictures. I didn't really get to enjoy my 20s because I had my son the year after I got married, and now I feel like I'm working myself to death with multiple jobs to pay off my student loans... ugh. I'm rambling. It's just been harder than usual to block all this stuff out lately. I have to stop letting it get to me.
Click to expand...


Hey Miss617 - do not do this to yourself. Its like self abuse. They have a saying don't compare someone else's highlights with your whole life or something like that. I'm not on Facebook but trust if I was I would breed a whole lot of hateration. I've traveled. I have a beautiful home. My kids are very attractive and accomplished. However you wouldn't see my broken marriage that I've been repairing for the last year , the addiction that runs in my family , my sky high debt , my insecurity , al anon meetings , etc. but I could post a pic today that would be authentic featuring some of my major recent accomplishments. a lot of times people may be posting things for themselves so they can stay encouraged for their own sanity. Plus the grass is always greener right. You have a child and a husband. I have friends right now that would give anything for both. Don't take your blessings for granted. If someone looked at a pic of you and your husband they would also think " wow she has a husband a kid , she's so lucky". My point being it's all relative , it's all for show and at the end of the day if it's not inspiring you or making you feel some kinda way then by all means stop. That's why I'm not on there. I'm too busy creating and making stuff happen to chronicle it; someone else can do that.
 
@Sky I'm familiar with that saying and I know it, logically. I've even written about how heavy Facebook use is linked to depression. So the irony isn't lost on me that I'm struggling with this. I do understand what you're saying though and you're right, it is all relative. I am taking my blessings for granted. I've never been a "glass half full" kind of person when it comes to myself, but there is a lot more going right than going wrong in my life. This just isn't what I envisioned, but it's OK. Thank you for the reality check and helping me put things in perspective, I needed it.
 
perhaps you should get off Facebook for sometime.
I am completely off Facebook for similar reasons, I know my triggers and I avoid them. As a previous poster said its a look at the highlights of other people's lives.
You son is very young and needs a lot of attention, I remember those days. In some years, he will be less dependent on you so hang in there.
It seems going back to school is very important to you, if you can do so right now please keep making moves to ensure it happens soon.
Hugs
 
tolly said:
perhaps you should get off Facebook for sometime.
I am completely off Facebook for similar reasons, I know my triggers and I avoid them. As a previous poster said its a look at the highlights of other people's lives.
You son is very young and needs a lot of attention, I remember those days. In some years, he will be less dependent on you so hang in there.
It seems going back to school is very important to you, if you can do so right now please keep making moves to ensure it happens soon.
Hugs
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've deactivated my profile in the past when I've had one of these phases, it might be time to do it again. I don't really post much anyway, I generally just share articles or posts.

DS definitely requires a lot of attention, especially since he has some developmental delays. EI is helping a lot in that regard though, and we are seeing progress, which is great. He's slowly becoming a little more independent but we still have to watch him carefully because he's very reckless. He is my biggest concern and I worry about him all the time, but I know we're doing our best to help him catch up.

I'm slowly working on going back to school. I've been working on my application and requested copies of my transcript from my undergrad school. I need to get letters of recommendation; I am going to ask my current and previous supervisors at my job and a former professor. I am hoping to start in the spring, so I plan to spend that time working on getting money for it. I've been looking at this particular program for at least two years, so I know it's time to just go for it already.
 
tolly said:
@Miss617 I hope you feel better now.
I know you are busy with work and the house, is it possible for you to pick up a hobby? Something to keep you engaged for some time of your day that is just for you? I started sewing this year. The stress of work and parenting and being a wife melts away when I am sewing. It takes me 6-7hours spread over a week to sew a single garment...lots of time when I could just buy it but I take it like a therapy time.
I really hope you feel joyous again soon. Glad things are better with your DH
Click to expand...

I sew too. I love it! I actually just turned into a business.
 
Hubby really hurt my feelings last night and I haven't spoken to him today because I still have hurt feelings. I feel I am always defending myself over something he takes offense to. I can never figure out how something so small, turns into all out rants. I can say something and it ALWAYS has an underlying tone or meaning that is taken negatively. I am always left feeling confused because I know what I said was just in normal conversation with no ill intent. Lately, I have been feeling like I have to proceed with caution with everything I say, because he will get all sensitive/angry about it. I don't want to live that way always trying to communicate no harm was intended.
 
Sky said:
Hey Miss617 - do not do this to yourself. Its like self abuse. They have a saying don't compare someone else's highlights with your whole life or something like that. I'm not on Facebook but trust if I was I would breed a whole lot of hateration. I've traveled. I have a beautiful home. My kids are very attractive and accomplished. However you wouldn't see my broken marriage that I've been repairing for the last year , the addiction that runs in my family , my sky high debt , my insecurity , al anon meetings , etc. but I could post a pic today that would be authentic featuring some of my major recent accomplishments. a lot of times people may be posting things for themselves so they can stay encouraged for their own sanity. Plus the grass is always greener right. You have a child and a husband. I have friends right now that would give anything for both. Don't take your blessings for granted. If someone looked at a pic of you and your husband they would also think " wow she has a husband a kid , she's so lucky". My point being it's all relative , it's all for show and at the end of the day if it's not inspiring you or making you feel some kinda way then by all means stop. That's why I'm not on there. I'm too busy creating and making stuff happen to chronicle it; someone else can do that.
Click to expand...

@Sky Thank you for this!! I am not married but I sneak in here every once in a while to see how much fun everyone is having. But what you said applies to most people. We publish our best sound clips but it is that kind of vulnerability and courage that helps people heal. Relationships are HARD work!! All relationships. When we commit we commit to everything that comes with that person - for better or for worse. Gratitude usually redirects my focus....I may be back but....

Thanks!
Nina!
 
syze6 said:
Hubby really hurt my feelings last night and I haven't spoken to him today because I still have hurt feelings. I feel I am always defending myself over something he takes offense to. I can never figure out how something so small, turns into all out rants. I can say something and it ALWAYS has an underlying tone or meaning that is taken negatively. I am always left feeling confused because I know what I said was just in normal conversation with no ill intent. Lately, I have been feeling like I have to proceed with caution with everything I say, because he will get all sensitive/angry about it. I don't want to live that way always trying to communicate no harm was intended.
Click to expand...


Hmmmm I can relate. Had a situation just like this yesterday
 
Over the weekend, my DH & I attended his Mom's birthday party. It was semi-formal and was held at a very nice restaurant.

When we walked in, were told that my DH along with all of his brothers would be seated with their mother on the daiz. However, all of the sister-in-laws were to be seated together an another table. My DH was livid and insisted on sitting with me. But I insisted that he would not because I knew that it would cause a big scene.

I along with my sister-in-laws were not pleased, but we handled the matter in a decent manner.

When it came time for my mother-in-law to thank all of her guests, she called the names of several guests and thanked them for coming. She even thanked her ex-daughter-in-law by calling her name. She then said, Thank my daughter-in-laws," and proceeded personally thank her other guests. (There were only 3 daughter-in-laws present).

Some of the guests came asked why were not not seated with our husbands. One of my sister-in-laws replied, "Because they assigned us to sit at this table."

Mother-in-law called me the next morning to tell me how much she appreciated me coming to her party and how much that she loved me. She also said that she didn't have any hatred in her heart against anybody. Um, where did that come from?

My DH said that I don't have to call nor visit with his mother anymore. Be that as it may, I still enjoyed myself cause I sat next to my sister-in-law whom I love dearly. She's extremely funny and is the life of the party. I also met some of DH's relatives where were extremely warm and also kind.
 
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