Married Ladies Random Thoughts

DH offered to take me on a date to an Italian restaurant but instead my sister in law called and asked us to keep the kids because an emergency came up. DH wasn't mad at all even though we had to get up on a saturday at 8 am lol. We went to church together with the kids, went to the park, Pizza Hut for the kids and now watching Inside Out (great kids movie btw). DH is so good with kids. Way more patience than me. I had so much fun with him today. *swoons*
 
I'm needing to hear positive marriage stories of people who had issues but then made it through...I either hear stories of ratchetness that ended in divorce; or relationships that are awesome where the couples dont have any serious issues (or choose not to share them)....I need some real talk....I've been discouraged :(
 
Th
sunnieb said:
@Sky I understand!

Well, 20 years ago we were in divorce court after only 2 years of marriage. Things were bad.

He came to me and asked me to give us one more chance. I did. We still argue and get on each other's nerves, but I love the big lug and know he loves me because I'm spoiled. :giggle:
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Thanks - I appreciate that.
 
sunnieb said:
@Sky I understand!

Well, 20 years ago we were in divorce court after only 2 years of marriage. Things were bad.

He came to me and asked me to give us one more chance. I did. We still argue and get on each other's nerves, but I love the big lug and know he loves me because I'm spoiled. :giggle:
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I think it was key that you were willing to leave so early in. I think more women should leave sooner, before certain behavior becomes entrenched. No to suffering and sacrificing. Well done @sunnieb :notworthy:.
 
For those of you who are working wives/ moms, what is your cleaning schedule? I tend to neglect the bathrooms because as a new mom, there is so much to do and during the weekend, the laundry, cooking and cleaning the kitchen takes up most of my time.

Thoughts?
 
delitefulmane said:
For those of you who are working wives/ moms, what is your cleaning schedule? I tend to neglect the bathrooms because as a new mom, there is so much to do and during the weekend, the laundry, cooking and cleaning the kitchen takes up most of my time.

Thoughts?
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I'm not a mom yet... I'm just a working wife... and I don't do all of that... I pretty much do the bathrooms because DH does the laundry. Cooking and cleaning the kitchen is kind of a trade off between the two of us.

As a new mom this would be the best time to go ahead and get your DH to be a part of the cleaning schedule, if he wasn't doing it beforehand, so he doesn't think you can "do it all".
 
Dee-Licious said:
I'm not a mom yet... I'm just a working wife... and I don't do all of that... I pretty much do the bathrooms because DH does the laundry. Cooking and cleaning the kitchen is kind of a trade off between the two of us.

As a new mom this would be the best time to go ahead and get your DH to be a part of the cleaning schedule, if he wasn't doing it beforehand, so he doesn't think you can "do it all".
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Thanks @Dee-Licious. Hubby has gotten better. However, I'm trying to get him in on the cleaning but if I don't tell him something needs to be cleaned, he wont clean it. :(
 
Sky said:
I'm needing to hear positive marriage stories of people who had issues but then made it through...I either hear stories of ratchetness that ended in divorce; or relationships that are awesome where the couples dont have any serious issues (or choose not to share them)....I need some real talk....I've been discouraged :(
Click to expand...

We've definitely been there. You both just have to be willing to do the work. You can't do it by yourself and neither can he.
 
FoxxyLocs said:
We've definitely been there. You both just have to be willing to do the work. You can't do it by yourself and neither can he.
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Yes realizing that marriage is A LOT of work. And the truth is no two people stay the same (or should!) . So your husband will grow and change and you will too and the beautiful thing is when that happens together. I realize I have to stay "woke". I was sleeping on a lot of things and didnt have my priorities straight. Sometimes its like we get married and think, Ok , thats it now I am married. But thats really just the beginning. Even though my parents have been married for eons, I still didnt know how to be a wife. And I realize I have listened to a lot of negativity from bitter individuals. Many of my friends are single because they just dont want to risk getting hurt. They dont want to be disappointed so they wont allow themselves to really commit and get scared if a man comes along and wants to settle down - they find a reason to not do so. I am now convinced, based on my own circle of friends, that a lot of black women (30 and up) are single because they fear commitmment and intimacy. They find fault with men under the guise of"high expectations". When it really is to mask their own fear and pain. I would've been that woman, had it not been for the grace of God. Being married and commiting to someone the way you really have to for a successful marriage is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life.
 
ChasingBliss said:
Do any of you guys believe in the Mandela Effect? And if so, do you think it affects relationships?
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Hmm. I admittedly had to look that up. After reading the examples, I'm still not sure. I believe that people process and therefore remember the same events differently because of different perspectives but I'm not sure it's because of seen alternate/parallel universe.

It's an interesting theory though. But I'm kinda weird, I find interest in the paranormal. :blush2:

ETA: I do believe in the power of thought, visualization and even fate to some extent and that they affect our relationships. And that dreams can have meaning which affect our relationships. I also wouldn't be surprised if there were alternate/parallel universes.
 
I was listening to a really good series by TD Jakes on grounded family. He also talks about marriages. It was sooooo deep. I've been legally married all these years but I'm finally reflecting like I don't want ive been doing but being a wife wasn't it ! He also talks about if you want to go really high in your career you have to have the right support to be able to keep your family right. Oh don't I know this .....and I've realized the career goal so weren't worth it :(
 
I really wanted DH to get a hobby. He chose to start bowling with a bowling league. He's been doing it for two months so far. I am sooo happy that he is involved in one activity outside of me where he can be in his natural element.

Me on the other hand I've been stand off ish. I stopped complaining and just got cold and distant. I've been really to myself. Mainly because of the constant need for sleep lol and wanting to adopt a more positive mindset. Plus I want to get some things done and I know he can't help me with that. I know it's my choice but I hope I come around in the next few months.
 
delitefulmane said:
What do you do with your bonuses you receive from work? (Add it to your join savings account? Go on a shopping spree? )

I'd especially like to hear from @hopeful @HisBestFriend @Taleah2009 !!!
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I don't get bonuses, but I will tell you what I do with my tax return, so same would apply with a bonus. My DH and I do not have 100% joint finances. We have a shared account where bills get paid out of we each have our own personal account. Soo I would use to pay debt, by myself a little something and then it the remainder will go into my personal savings. I don't know if we will always have semi-separate funds, but that is how role now. We sort of fell into this role when we first got engaged and moved into together and never really changed anything.
 
delitefulmane said:
What do you do with your bonuses you receive from work? (Add it to your join savings account? Go on a shopping spree? )

I'd especially like to hear from @hopeful @HisBestFriend @Taleah2009 !!!
Click to expand...

It goes in the joint account and we decide together what to do with it. Last time I got a bonus we paid off debt with it. Last time he got one, he bought me some gifts and put the rest in savings.
 
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