Married Ladies Random Thoughts

locabouthair said:
Besides counseling and this thread, who do you vent to about marital stress? You're always told not to tell everyone your marital problems and I agree but sometimes you need to vent right?
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I believe women need someone they can talk to for advice that they can trust. All this overly secretive stuff is keeping women stuck in bad relationships. No, you shouldn't be discussing every little argument and how good he is in bed or not etc. Shouldn't share with people you can't trust and who don't love you. And honestly I think it's good to have people in your corner who care way more about you than your marriage. People overly invested in marriage will always focus on you staying married vs. you being happy and loved. Oftentimes women are truly suffering and can't figure out what is wrong. They deserve love and support. All this well you chose him mess is bs. Women need help, love, support, guidance, etc.
 
locabouthair said:
Besides counseling and this thread, who do you vent to about marital stress? You're always told not to tell everyone your marital problems and I agree but sometimes you need to vent right?
Click to expand...
I have two married girlfriends and one single one I talk to. They listen and don't offer advice unless I ask for it. They all believe in marriage. So as long as there's no cheating or beating(or other abuse) they always encourage me to work it out. I don't tell anyone everything.
There also a really sweet lady on here I pm sometimes. Sometimes you need a really objective listener.
 
locabouthair said:
Besides counseling and this thread, who do you vent to about marital stress? You're always told not to tell everyone your marital problems and I agree but sometimes you need to vent right?
Click to expand...

No one, I only vent here, and even then I only say so much. On one very rare occasion, I ranted to my sister and it was because I really was at a loss. For the most part I just deal with stuff on my own, but I'm like that with everything.
 
My mil is angry with me. 2nd time in 16 years of marriage. The first time after my husband checked her for talking about his wife in a way that was not acceptable to him. She had an attitude for 2 years. Then it was all good.

Last night I was cooking dinner and could not find the rice. He had put it away and she just happened to call while I was having a meltdown over trying to find this rice. I started screaming down the phone:look: like a lunatic. Sobbing. She calmed me down and told me to make potatoes instead:look: (innaproprate and extreme mood reactions):look:

This morning I texted her ( forgot about the meltdown) and she shouted back at me in caps.

At this rate I won't have any relatives speaking to me. They are all sick of me. I need to just disappear for a while. Holds head in shame. I just cannot wait. This too, shall pass.
 
I want to take over more bills. Specifically the water and alarm monitoring bill. Simply because I still feel insecure that his sister and mother feel like I'm taking all his money now that he pays the house note and cable and water and Adt and he claims he is so broke after he pays bills but he makes more than me.

But then I woke up and said this is probably and example of how I mother him right? I don't understand. We've written down our budget and everything. I don't see how he could be broke unless he still gives money to his folks.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I want to take over more bills. Specifically the water and alarm monitoring bill. Simply because I still feel insecure that his sister and mother feel like I'm taking all his money now that he pays the house note and cable and water and Adt and he claims he is so broke after he pays bills but he makes more than me.

But then I woke up and said this is probably and example of how I mother him right? I don't understand. We've written down our budget and everything. I don't see how he could be broke unless he still gives money to his folks.
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Gotta be.
Don't let them guilt you into taking on more.
Why do they know who pays what anyway? Y'all gotta get them out of y'all pockets.
 
CafedeBelleza said:
Gotta be.
Don't let them guilt you into taking on more.
Why do they know who pays what anyway? Y'all gotta get them out of y'all pockets.
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They don't know unless he tells them. They assume a lot. Like sense he's always barely getting by but has a great job and salary they feel it's me raining all his money. Then they make up what they assume he's paying
 
PrissiSippi said:
They don't know unless he tells them. They assume a lot. Like sense he's always barely getting by but has a great job and salary they feel it's me raining all his money. Then they make up what they assume he's paying
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@PrissiSippi you said
you feel feel insecure that
his sister and mother feel like
you're taking all his money

Sound to me like you are assuming
Just like they are
Even if they said it to you
It ought to have no effect on you
It ain't the truth, for one
And what OTHER people think of you
Is none of YOUR business

Quit letting others thoughts
live rent free in your head
There ain't no guest room for them anyway

What is your busines
Is figuring out why Mr is broke
I know I would do the Math if it bothered me
that he is broke like it seems to bother you

He makes X,XXX a month
so let's say he brings home 0.7 of that
He pays XXXX + XXX + XX
Saves XXX
That leaves XXX
Split that by 4
He has an average of that available per week
So is he really broke?
 
Last edited:
Awwww guess hubby is not tired of being around me yet lol. He asked me to go on his jobsite with today :-) he also wants to take a ride down to Maryland and stay there for the night. We shall see
 
PatDM'T said:
@PrissiSippi you said
you feel feel insecure that
his sister and mother feel like
you're taking all his money

Sound to me like you are assuming
Just like they are
Even if they said it to you
It ought to have no effect on you
It ain't the truth, for one
And what OTHER people think of you
Is none of YOUR business

Quit letting others thoughts
live rent free in your head
There ain't no guest room for them anyway

What is your busines
Is figuring out why Mr is broke
I know I would do the Math if it bothered me
that he is broke like it seems to bother you

He makes X,XXX a month
so let's say he brings home 0.7 of that
He pays XXXX + XXX + XX
Saves XXX
That leaves XXX
Split that by 4
He has an average of that available per week
So is he really broke?
Click to expand...
Great advice!!
 
Def sounds like he is giving them money
I would he to the bottom of that immediately
No reason why anyone married should be low on funds consistently like that....


PrissiSippi said:
I want to take over more bills. Specifically the water and alarm monitoring bill. Simply because I still feel insecure that his sister and mother feel like I'm taking all his money now that he pays the house note and cable and water and Adt and he claims he is so broke after he pays bills but he makes more than me.

But then I woke up and said this is probably and example of how I mother him right? I don't understand. We've written down our budget and everything. I don't see how he could be broke unless he still gives money to his folks.
Click to expand...
 
lux10023 said:
Def sounds like he is giving them money
I would he to the bottom of that immediately
No reason why anyone married should be low on funds consistently like that....
Click to expand...
I asked to see his budget months ago. I looked at it and it looks like mine. After every bill (inc car has groceries cable water etc) we both have about 600 to blow for the month.

I have more often times because I have two side hustles but still.

So I don't see how he's broke unless he's giving it away or frivolously spending it but he's not a big spender at all.

I talked to BFF and came to my senses. I'm into mothering again. I'm not picking up any extra bills. If he truly had a problem with his funds and how little he had after bills he would pick up a side hustle. It must doesn't bother him that much so it shouldn't bother me.

He actually went out with some friends yesterday. I'm just over it. We argue about how he never spends time with any male friends. It's important to me because he never learned how to be a man growing up. I can't teach him that. It sounds 6itchy coming from a girl but from a man he understands. But he complains that no one ever likes talking to him even from church and no one wants to spend time with him. Tough titty.

He complains he can't get a side job because when they see his resume they laugh in his face because he has too much education/income. Liesor excuses.

We argued about him doing man responsibilities and he acts right for about two weeks but then goes back to being him. So he DID go out with the church last night and mowed grass this morning but I'm still in my feelings because I know things will go right back to how they were.
 
I exchanged my wedding set for an upgraded version because I wasn't completely satisfied with the original, so DH suggested I just return it. I feel so guilty for making him spend thousands more, but he has been so supportive throughout this process. I feel like such a brat, but I'm so happy I married someone who is the opposite of me when it comes to stressing out and feeling guilty over every little thing. He's so calm. Hopefully some of that rubs off on me :/
 
DayStar said:
We are moving into our new home tomorrow. It took us 9 months to build and we are so glad it's over! I feel like it made our marriage stronger.

I thought I was pregnant a few months ago but I'm not... DH was so excited and now he wants a baby :look:
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Is it stressful building a house? Congrats!!
 
If this man don't take care of the lawn in the front of the house and the hedges. Making the house look abandoned. Next year hiring lawn care service. Don't have time to be waiting for him to keep things nice
 
Taleah2009 said:
If this man don't take care of the lawn in the front of the house and the hedges. Making the house look abandoned. Next year hiring lawn care service. Don't have time to be waiting for him to keep things nice
Click to expand...

Welp someone stole our weed wacker because someone had the bright idea to leave it outside :mad::angry2::hammer::pullhair::wallbash:

We went from having a good week on vacay to hubby annoying the ish out of me. I feel like :cowgirl: off to a girls night with a big drink lol
 
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