PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
Yeahhhh I know better. My MIL would tell me that's my job as his wife and say something like DH Never bought his clothes. It's okay baby I'll buy you some clothes!
Married Ladies Random Thoughts
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Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Love love love the way dh takes up for the black women in his class. He told me this good ol boy in his class is always trying one of the women and he gives it to him at every turn.
Give him hell boo.
Give him hell boo.
Fotchygirl
Well-Known Member
Now this is wisdom right here!!!Ok, one last time. It is not your job to teach him how to dress or iron his clothes. That was his mommy's and daddy's job and now it is his job. Let people think what they want. You think you are going to teach him how to take care of his clothes, etc. But he is teaching you how to be his mommy. How to feel responsible for him. How to work yourself into a tizzy dressing yourself, him, and then a little baby too. And then he will focus on doing things that make him happy. And then you'll become exhausted and a nag and start looking haggard and everyone will be like what's wrong with Priss? Her Dh is always so relaxed and happy, what's her problem? When you could have just listened to Hopeful years ago and stopped parenting a grown man who full well knows how to clean, wash, press clothes, and/or take things to the cleaners. Again, repeat after me, he is being passive aggressive. Mommy and daddy dropped the ball and now he's training you to continue babying him. Being a baby is easy. Being a grown up is hard work and that is what he is avoiding. Okay, now I'm done.
OriginalBeauty
Well-Known Member
Almost ready to tell in-laws that I don't share the details of our finances like I don't share the details of our bedroom, but both are well-managed.
I'm not going to, but I almost want to.
I'm not going to, but I almost want to.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Aight, so if you're with your dh and someone acknowledges him, shouldn't they acknowledge you too? For the second time someone has spoken to dh while I was either seated or walking with him and not even given me a glance. I give 2 shts about them not knowing me. Don't you see a damn person right here!?
Or am I being petty?
Or am I being petty?
Taleah2009
Well-Known Member
Nope not being petty
This has only happened to me with women. But usually DH will say have you met my wife and introduce me.
OriginalBeauty
Well-Known Member
I choose to walk in faith and not in fear any more.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
.Femmefatal1981
Well-Known Member
not petty...
Dh and I go thru these long stretches of harmonious peace
Where we are extra sappy and everything is like heaven on earth
Then Bam it's as if world war 2 broke out and we have a mega fight lolol
It never fails, I laugh because it's almost as if we're both like enough of this peace lmao it's on!!!!
This weekend was a beautiful wknd
Sappy but we did a run in Central Park it started raining and we just walked together until it stopped and the sun came out, ofcourse we have a sappy lovey dovey video that he recorded of it...
I'm always surprised after all these yrs we are still quite romantic, we spend wknds at hotels in our city, he wrote me some sappy story and posted it on my women cave door lol.... I still dress up for him xxx...dh is alpha he is sweet as sugar with me but not the guy ppl would go up to and strike up a convo lol he is still fine as fluck to me, ofcourse as he works out every day, smh
Whenever I can't sleep I ask him to tell me a bed time story and it's always a story with different names but it relates to us in a cheesy way....we are beyond cheesy but also very " I have a life I don't need to be attached to you every sec" it works
Somehow it all just works for us
Where we are extra sappy and everything is like heaven on earth
Then Bam it's as if world war 2 broke out and we have a mega fight lolol
It never fails, I laugh because it's almost as if we're both like enough of this peace lmao it's on!!!!
This weekend was a beautiful wknd
Sappy but we did a run in Central Park it started raining and we just walked together until it stopped and the sun came out, ofcourse we have a sappy lovey dovey video that he recorded of it...
I'm always surprised after all these yrs we are still quite romantic, we spend wknds at hotels in our city, he wrote me some sappy story and posted it on my women cave door lol.... I still dress up for him xxx...dh is alpha he is sweet as sugar with me but not the guy ppl would go up to and strike up a convo lol he is still fine as fluck to me, ofcourse as he works out every day, smh
Whenever I can't sleep I ask him to tell me a bed time story and it's always a story with different names but it relates to us in a cheesy way....we are beyond cheesy but also very " I have a life I don't need to be attached to you every sec" it works
Somehow it all just works for us
Miss617
Always left of center
I could cry.
We applied for a housing lottery a few months ago, and even though we were over the income limit by a little less than $1k, they kept our application. If we couldn't prove our income was under the limit if our name came up for the lottery, the application would be rejected.
I got a promotion and raise last month.
I get a call today saying our name came up for the LAST two bedroom unit available. But now we're more than 3k over the limit.
I'm so upset. We're in such a terrible income bracket because we make *just* too much for most affordable housing and nowhere near enough for market rate. That place would have been perfect too because it was near our old apartment and closer to both of our jobs.
Excuse me while I curl up in the fetal position in the corner.
ETA: I called the guy back and asked him if we could add my stepdaughter. He said yes and it would work in our favor since it raises the limit. I think we are still cutting it close, but he said the rest of our application was in order. I'm gonna go in Friday to go over paperwork.
We applied for a housing lottery a few months ago, and even though we were over the income limit by a little less than $1k, they kept our application. If we couldn't prove our income was under the limit if our name came up for the lottery, the application would be rejected.
I got a promotion and raise last month.
I get a call today saying our name came up for the LAST two bedroom unit available. But now we're more than 3k over the limit.
I'm so upset. We're in such a terrible income bracket because we make *just* too much for most affordable housing and nowhere near enough for market rate. That place would have been perfect too because it was near our old apartment and closer to both of our jobs.
Excuse me while I curl up in the fetal position in the corner.
ETA: I called the guy back and asked him if we could add my stepdaughter. He said yes and it would work in our favor since it raises the limit. I think we are still cutting it close, but he said the rest of our application was in order. I'm gonna go in Friday to go over paperwork.
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Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
Me too. That's why I told him about it.
He said that because they were not close to us- one was across a restaurant patio and the other was across a narrow street, he did not see it as rude and that if we were face to face he would not let that happen.
Whatever, tell them hoes to act brand new with you if they can't speak to me.
Supervixen
Well-Known Member
Today I want 2 more kids in a few years. DH said, "I dont know," instead of HELL NO like usual. I'm wearing him down!
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PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I cook. DH eats all the food before dinner. No problem. DH goes to get pizza for us. Gets to dominoes and he said his card does not work. He says he goes to the ATM and it also doesn't work. I halfway feel like he's lying cuz they could have manually typed it in. DH comes back home empty handed. I feel like all the other times he wants me to solve the problem. So I say I'm about to take a shower. Think about what we're going to eat. He just sits there. I end up making me a sandwich and some chips. (But end up waiting too long and getting sick because now it's 9 and I haven't eaten since 12). He just sits there in the living room.
I told him calmly this is why I feel like everything falls on me at the end of the day. You didn't think to get your credit card and go get us something? You mean to tell me you don't have any cash on you for a $10 pizza? You mean to tell me you would let your pregnant wife be hungry and u come back empty handed rather than figure it out?
He drops his head and says he feels useless and worthless. I didn't say all that but he should be better prepared. He shouldn't give up for his family so easily. He should have not waited for me to figure it out that's what boys do. He could have figured it out what to eat.
He does this ish all the time. It makes it hard for me to respect him. He told me on the other hand he also sacrifices too. He told me he didn't eat out at lunch to give me money towards house maintenance once. And he pays all the bills even if he won't have much afterwards.
That's the problem too. Why are you finances ALWAYS low when you make more than me. I know he pays $1000 for the house note, cable, water but that's like less than one third of his check. What's the problem? Am I just ungrateful?
I told him calmly this is why I feel like everything falls on me at the end of the day. You didn't think to get your credit card and go get us something? You mean to tell me you don't have any cash on you for a $10 pizza? You mean to tell me you would let your pregnant wife be hungry and u come back empty handed rather than figure it out?
He drops his head and says he feels useless and worthless. I didn't say all that but he should be better prepared. He shouldn't give up for his family so easily. He should have not waited for me to figure it out that's what boys do. He could have figured it out what to eat.
He does this ish all the time. It makes it hard for me to respect him. He told me on the other hand he also sacrifices too. He told me he didn't eat out at lunch to give me money towards house maintenance once. And he pays all the bills even if he won't have much afterwards.
That's the problem too. Why are you finances ALWAYS low when you make more than me. I know he pays $1000 for the house note, cable, water but that's like less than one third of his check. What's the problem? Am I just ungrateful?
MzSwift
Well-Known Member
@PrissiSippi
to you my fellow hormonal sista.
Having been married before for almost 16 years, one BIG lesson I learned was that I can't change my spouse - I am only in control of my responses to him. I spent years banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why he just wouldn't do right. It wasn't until I decided to accept who I had married instead of trying to "teach" him that I saw a breakthrough in his behavior.
I like someone else's suggestion of finding alternate ways to get those things done instead of you doing them (dry cleaning his clothing). It may also be a good idea, if you haven't already, to sit down and discuss the expectations each of you has for the other. Sounds like his idea of who he is differs from your idea of who he is. He's expecting you to mother/baby him and you're expecting him to take more initiative to take care of things.
I'm sure it's flavored by the pregnancy hormones but try to step back and take a breath. He's not going to change until he wants to and you won't be able make him do it. Pregnancy is not the time to be stressing so I hope you can find some way to cope soon. Hang in there!
to you my fellow hormonal sista. Having been married before for almost 16 years, one BIG lesson I learned was that I can't change my spouse - I am only in control of my responses to him. I spent years banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why he just wouldn't do right. It wasn't until I decided to accept who I had married instead of trying to "teach" him that I saw a breakthrough in his behavior.
I like someone else's suggestion of finding alternate ways to get those things done instead of you doing them (dry cleaning his clothing). It may also be a good idea, if you haven't already, to sit down and discuss the expectations each of you has for the other. Sounds like his idea of who he is differs from your idea of who he is. He's expecting you to mother/baby him and you're expecting him to take more initiative to take care of things.
I'm sure it's flavored by the pregnancy hormones but try to step back and take a breath. He's not going to change until he wants to and you won't be able make him do it. Pregnancy is not the time to be stressing so I hope you can find some way to cope soon. Hang in there!
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
@PrissiSippi
Having been married before for almost 16 years, one BIG lesson I learned was that I can't change my spouse - I am only in control of my responses to him. I spent years banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why he just wouldn't do right. It wasn't until I decided to accept who I had married instead of trying to "teach" him that I saw a breakthrough in his behavior.
I like someone else's suggestion of finding alternate ways to get those things done instead of you doing them (dry cleaning his clothing). It may also be a good idea, if you haven't already, to sit down and discuss the expectations each of you has for the other. Sounds like his idea of who he is differs from your idea of who he is. He's expecting you to mother/baby him and you're expecting him to take more initiative to take care of things.
I'm sure it's flavored by the pregnancy hormones but try to step back and take a breath. He's not going to change until he wants to and you won't be able make him do it. Pregnancy is not the time to be stressing so I hope you can find some way to cope soon. Hang in there!
Thanks love. I aint stressing. lol I fixed ME a sandwich and went to bed but dang. I explained it to him calmly and nicely. He just looked at the floor and said he feels useless. Did I do something wrong? I just can't communicate? Dang?
LeftRightRepeat
Well-Known Member
I
Have you thought about combining money and u take charge of bill paying? It seems that it came down to the fact that he didn't have money in his account? And since it seems to be a common theme it would probably make sense to have the spouse who is better at it take charge
LucieLoo12
Well-Known Member
@PrissiSippi
Having been married before for almost 16 years, one BIG lesson I learned was that I can't change my spouse - I am only in control of my responses to him. I spent years banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why he just wouldn't do right. It wasn't until I decided to accept who I had married instead of trying to "teach" him that I saw a breakthrough in his behavior.
I like someone else's suggestion of finding alternate ways to get those things done instead of you doing them (dry cleaning his clothing). It may also be a good idea, if you haven't already, to sit down and discuss the expectations each of you has for the other. Sounds like his idea of who he is differs from your idea of who he is. He's expecting you to mother/baby him and you're expecting him to take more initiative to take care of things.
I'm sure it's flavored by the pregnancy hormones but try to step back and take a breath. He's not going to change until he wants to and you won't be able make him do it. Pregnancy is not the time to be stressing so I hope you can find some way to cope soon. Hang in there!
This post is so true. You can't change anyone. I stopped letting DH stressed out. Lol. Ironically, when I stopped nagging him about stuff, he got better. Men expect us to be vocal about how you feel but when you stop talking about it, it makes them nervous because they don't know what's going on in your head
.
divachyk
Instagram: adaybyjay
Thank you @Loving.
This has been one of the most challenging times of our life but in spite of it all, we're being blessed in so many ways. God has covered dh from the start. I refuse to believe this is where it ends. Instead, this is where life begins. There's something beautiful in the making here that he and I will be able to share to anyone that will listen. Our God is greater than stage IV. We're walking by Faith and not by sight because there's truly no other way.
This has been one of the most challenging times of our life but in spite of it all, we're being blessed in so many ways. God has covered dh from the start. I refuse to believe this is where it ends. Instead, this is where life begins. There's something beautiful in the making here that he and I will be able to share to anyone that will listen. Our God is greater than stage IV. We're walking by Faith and not by sight because there's truly no other way.
HappywithJC723
Well-Known Member
Thank you @Loving.
This has been one of the most challenging times of our life but in spite of it all, we're being blessed in so many ways. God has covered dh from the start. I refuse to believe this is where it ends. Instead, this is where life begins. There's something beautiful in the making here that he and I will be able to share to anyone that will listen. Our God is greater than stage IV. We're walking by Faith and not by sight because there's truly no other way.
I am loving your post, liking is not enough. I'm praying for you and your dh sis!
divachyk
Instagram: adaybyjay
I am loving your post, liking is not enough. I'm praying for you and your dh sis!
We will mess around and have church up in here! @HappywithJC723
Qtee
Member
Our 1 year anniversary is in 3 days .. These last 3 months have been the hardest .. Like somedays I wasn't sure if we were gonna make.. But I'm super excited for this milestone N look forward to years N years of learning loving fighting n the best make up sex I've ever had.. I love me some him
Taleah2009
Well-Known Member
Dh is sooo much more social than I am. I'm sitting here ready to go and he over here ordering me drinks. Dude lets go!
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
His mama though....
They had a family reunion. We stayed for six hours (12-6). I asked him could we leave so I could go to a friend's baby's birthday party and I needed to get the baby a gift. His mama came up in my face and tuns to DH and tells him he should have left me at home because everytime he's at home without me he stays for a long time.
(He had stayed til 10 the previous night) but when I'm around we can't stay for long. Then she asks who's idea was it to leave? Like did I tell him I wanted to go or did he tell me he wanted to go.
I said Mam it really doesn't matter because I am he and He is me. Just know we're leaving. She gon say she was gonna buy me some baby stuff but since I didn't tell her the sex first she didn't buy anything. **** do you think I care? This baby is well taken care of already by his parents and maternal grandparents. Nobody want them poor quality arse gifts no way. lol I didn't let this one get under my skin like the other times but dang...I don't really like her that much. I'm trying...but I don't.
They had a family reunion. We stayed for six hours (12-6). I asked him could we leave so I could go to a friend's baby's birthday party and I needed to get the baby a gift. His mama came up in my face and tuns to DH and tells him he should have left me at home because everytime he's at home without me he stays for a long time.
(He had stayed til 10 the previous night) but when I'm around we can't stay for long. Then she asks who's idea was it to leave? Like did I tell him I wanted to go or did he tell me he wanted to go.
I said Mam it really doesn't matter because I am he and He is me. Just know we're leaving. She gon say she was gonna buy me some baby stuff but since I didn't tell her the sex first she didn't buy anything. **** do you think I care? This baby is well taken care of already by his parents and maternal grandparents. Nobody want them poor quality arse gifts no way. lol I didn't let this one get under my skin like the other times but dang...I don't really like her that much. I'm trying...but I don't.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
@PrissiSippi And your dh said nothing? Let you spar with her? Let you handle the situation?
Supervixen
Well-Known Member
@PrissiSippi was she kidding around with you
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
She was. But we don't have a good enough relationship to kid. She always "kids". Fourth of July she told me she's glad I'm relaxed now because I looked a mess natural. And she told me she guesses Ima lock my baby in the back of the house like I do the dog when guests come over. All those are "kidding remarks" and I know you supposed to let stuff roll off your back but she is always criticizing me. I don't like her enough for her to kid with me.
I noticed something too. She won't say negative stuff around my mama but when my mama leaves....she criticizes and criticizes hard. So I think she knows what she is doing.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
He takes it as a that's her moment. Plus I feel like I'm probably overly sensitive to her remarks now. ANYTHING she says hurts my feelings cuz I don't like her. So I don't bring it up anymore cuz some of the stuff like this incident is sooo miniscule.
But now I just dread having to spend time with them. I canceled my gender reveal just so I wouldn't have to invite them.
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