Taleah2009
Well-Known Member
This is exactly what I'm going to do. And you are completely he is so hard headed
Married Ladies Random Thoughts
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PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
Lol this is so hard. I feel like a control freak at times because I feel like I would try to help him and push him to pay it off. Or secretly pay it for him. I gotta get better at that. That's how I found about DH bills and stood my ground until he paid every single one. I guess it's slightly different because it affects his credit but really that has nothing to do with me! In my parents relationship my dad has horrible credit and my mom's credit is A1. Do you think she cares about my dad's credit? Heck no lol.
Taleah2009
Well-Known Member
I am kind of feeling like everything that can go grow these past 2 weeks are going wrong.
curlykimmy
Well-Known Member
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Thank you! I've learned most of what I know the hard way, unfortunately, and so I try to share my little bit of wisdom.
HappywithJC723
Well-Known Member
My husband told me today that he has a hard time reading me and understanding me. He further explained that I don't show any other emotion except anger. I don't know how I feel about it.......
Sis I'm saying this in the kindest way
Are you loving and kind to him? Do you show affection, stroke his ego?
Praise him when he has done well?
When a man is only getting anger from his lady they shut down.
Whether you agree or not it's something to think about
Communication is a marriage is key
Wishing you two all the best.
Are you loving and kind to him? Do you show affection, stroke his ego?
Praise him when he has done well?
When a man is only getting anger from his lady they shut down.
Whether you agree or not it's something to think about
Communication is a marriage is key
Wishing you two all the best.
HappywithJC723
Well-Known Member
Sis I'm saying this in the kindest way
Are you loving and kind to him? Do you show affection, stroke his ego?
Praise him when he has done well?
When a man is only getting anger from his lady they shut down.
Whether you agree or not it's something to think about
Communication is a marriage is key
Wishing you two all the best.
Thank you and you are right. At this moment in my life I've been sooooo stressed that, honestly, my husband and marriage have taken the back burner. I'm about to fix it though. I've been praying over some things and examining my life and all signs are pointing that it's time for me and my job to part ways. It's the cause for about 90% of the stress in my life. Dh and I have been discussing me leaving my job for a while now to either just be a full time SAHM or just find a part time job. I was hesitant at first but after working out the numbers and stuff, it's time for me to take the leap of faith. I'm not going to allow this job to take over my life any more than it already has.
Thank you again. As soon as things died down with the discussion me and dh were having, I ran in here. I knew I could count on you ladies to help me examine things further and see things from a different point of view. I love ya'll like I know ya'll for real
So happy you found the root of the issue
Now go love on your hubs.....kiss him and hug him for a long time and just tell him you appreciate him....
Please don't let that job stress you further and affect your marriage....I'm sure he misses is sweet kind happy wife....
Now go love on your hubs.....kiss him and hug him for a long time and just tell him you appreciate him....
Please don't let that job stress you further and affect your marriage....I'm sure he misses is sweet kind happy wife....
Thank you and you are right. At this moment in my life I've been sooooo stressed that, honestly, my husband and marriage have taken the back burner. I'm about to fix it though. I've been praying over some things and examining my life and all signs are pointing that it's time for me and my job to part ways. It's the cause for about 90% of the stress in my life. Dh and I have been discussing me leaving my job for a while now to either just be a full time SAHM or just find a part time job. I was hesitant at first but after working out the numbers and stuff, it's time for me to take the leap of faith. I'm not going to allow this job to take over my life any more than it already has.
Thank you again. As soon as things died down with the discussion me and dh were having, I ran in here. I knew I could count on you ladies to help me examine things further and see things from a different point of view. I love ya'll like I know ya'll for real
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
DH has a big interview today. I'm very scared because this job is closer to home and pays more money. He would be doing the same thing he was doing at his last job. But his job currently is in his hometown. His mother blames me for him wanting to change jobs. She also thinks he's making a horrible mistake and they will fire him any chance they get. I have faith that DH will make a great decision when it comes to taking the job or not. And I pray that his mother doesn't come for me. I'm tired of being nice and Christ-like to her.
OAN: I bought two new bras and 10 panties from that Victoria Secret Sale yesterday and they all match.
This weekend is supposed to be a date night for DH and I. Romantic dinner tonight. Breakfast at a restaurant and Pokemon looking tomorrow morning. Lol *tryna be lame together*. Grilling with my coworker and and the dog tomorrow afternoon. Then church and Sunday school and probably FroYo Sunday. Now I hope I can stay awake the whole weekend. Haha.
OAN: I bought two new bras and 10 panties from that Victoria Secret Sale yesterday and they all match.
This weekend is supposed to be a date night for DH and I. Romantic dinner tonight. Breakfast at a restaurant and Pokemon looking tomorrow morning. Lol *tryna be lame together*. Grilling with my coworker and and the dog tomorrow afternoon. Then church and Sunday school and probably FroYo Sunday. Now I hope I can stay awake the whole weekend. Haha.
Miss617
Always left of center
Sending lots of positive vibes your DH's way! I'm sure he'll nail the interview. That mother of his sounds like a handful, don't even pay her any mind. I hope y'all have a great weekend!
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
The interview went well. They told him that if they accept and it's a big possibility they will they will send him an offer within the next two weeks or so. The position is a brand new position that is directly tied to what DH was doing at his old job but not really getting paid for. It's only ten minutes from home too. They said no weekends or nights. It would be the perfect job for him. I hope he gets whatever his heart's desires are.
Taleah2009
Well-Known Member
Sis I'm saying this in the kindest way
Are you loving and kind to him? Do you show affection, stroke his ego?
Praise him when he has done well?
When a man is only getting anger from his lady they shut down.
Whether you agree or not it's something to think about
Communication is a marriage is key
Wishing you two all the best.
Your advice is pretty own point with a video I was watching yesterday. The video was about bringing out the king in your man. That video really had me thinking,
HappywithJC723
Well-Known Member
This sounds very interesting. Do you have any information for the video? A link or title?
secretdiamond
Well-Known Member
Confession:
I've been avoiding this thread, since I last posted.
I'm trying to find a way to save my marriage. I've only been married 2 years.
My DH has no idea. He's great. Really, he is. For some reason, it's like I just don't want to be married anymore. Like, I need to find myself. WTF?
I was with him for 10 years before we married. No surprises. He hasn't changed. Only become better. By all accounts, I'm lucky -- he's very attractive, tall, smart, classy, hard-worker, provider, doesn't have a temper, has incredible patience, clean, neat, doesn't require much from me at all, very easy-going.
I feel so bad. I'm trying to work it out myself, because I don't want to hurt him. He thinks I'm going through a crisis because of work. He has no idea. I still love him. I can never stop loving him. He is still my best friend. But, that's it.
Oh, and for anyone who was following 7 months ago regarding his family: Things were better for all of a week. His family came down to visit and **** hit the fan. I no longer speak to his family. He doesn't either. My family has instructed me to stay away from them. I totally agree. I no longer consider them family.
So, with all this, I feel bad. I should be his rock. Be the best wife I vowed to be on our wedding day. Can't figure out why this is happening.
Going to start seeing a therapist next week.
I just wanted to let that out.
I've been avoiding this thread, since I last posted.
I'm trying to find a way to save my marriage. I've only been married 2 years.
My DH has no idea. He's great. Really, he is. For some reason, it's like I just don't want to be married anymore. Like, I need to find myself. WTF?
I was with him for 10 years before we married. No surprises. He hasn't changed. Only become better. By all accounts, I'm lucky -- he's very attractive, tall, smart, classy, hard-worker, provider, doesn't have a temper, has incredible patience, clean, neat, doesn't require much from me at all, very easy-going.I feel so bad. I'm trying to work it out myself, because I don't want to hurt him. He thinks I'm going through a crisis because of work. He has no idea. I still love him. I can never stop loving him. He is still my best friend. But, that's it.
Oh, and for anyone who was following 7 months ago regarding his family: Things were better for all of a week. His family came down to visit and **** hit the fan. I no longer speak to his family. He doesn't either. My family has instructed me to stay away from them. I totally agree. I no longer consider them family.
So, with all this, I feel bad. I should be his rock. Be the best wife I vowed to be on our wedding day. Can't figure out why this is happening.
Going to start seeing a therapist next week.
I just wanted to let that out.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
(((Hugs))) @secretdiamond
I'm so sorry. Hopefully the therapist can help. It's not uncommon for people who have been together for years to quickly break up after marrying. Idk why though. Come back and share more or pm some of us if you think that will help. I'm so sorry for you and him and I really hope things work out. Best of luck to you.
I'm so sorry. Hopefully the therapist can help. It's not uncommon for people who have been together for years to quickly break up after marrying. Idk why though. Come back and share more or pm some of us if you think that will help. I'm so sorry for you and him and I really hope things work out. Best of luck to you.
MrsMe
Well-Known Member
I wish I could hug you. Your posts always resonate with me, including this one. It's explaining what I'm going through with DH.
secretdiamond
Well-Known Member
Thanks @hopeful
He's just so great. We have what many call a 'fairy tale' life and story. It took 10 years because I was in school, then training. As soon as I was out of training, we were married. Everything happened "the right way" according to everyone who knows us. Yet.......
secretdiamond
Well-Known Member
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I'm praying for y'all. I honestly believe marriage goes through seasons and this is just a season for y'all. It's amazing that you're able to reflect on yourself and your life and not criticize your marriage or him and realize it's probably something inside your spirit. With you continuously seeking answers....you'll find them. Sending positive vibes your way.Thanks @hopeful
He's just so great. We have what many call a 'fairy tale' life and story. It took 10 years because I was in school, then training. As soon as I was out of training, we were married. Everything happened "the right way" according to everyone who knows us. Yet.......
secretdiamond
Well-Known Member
Thanks so much hun.
Miss617
Always left of center
@secretdiamond I feel you, girl. I'm going through this too (have been for a while, I've posted about it before). Our three year anniversary is next week and I just feel so... meh about it. We've also been together 10 years, but on and off. He's a great husband and father, very supportive. Cooks, cleans. Doesn't ask for much other than for me to help out around the house. And that should be enough, right? But his lack of ambition kinda makes me not respect him. I feel like he's OK with being mediocre while trying to push me to reach higher and I can't deal with that. I want him to want more for himself and for our family.
summertimewine
*sips tea*
So how can complacency be avoided in marriages?
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
@Miss617 Ive had problems with this too. DH's long term goal is to have a successful side business that earns him extra money to play with. I don't see him accomplishing it because he makes excuses for everything.
It's either he gets off too late, it's too far, he doesn't know how to start it, he needs more start up money, He forgot to sign up for the classes that will teach him how to do xyz. It's something.
But at the end of the day I think I'm the one that needs to change. He has a great job and career he loves. He takes care of all his bills. Maybe he's not a great saver but I am soooo I guess that balances out. And his biggest thing is the want to be a family man like his dad so maybe he doesn't have the time for a side business right now.
I think I'm comparing himself to me. I'm ALWAYS doing domethjng in the works to better myself or create more income. But that's just my personality.
It's either he gets off too late, it's too far, he doesn't know how to start it, he needs more start up money, He forgot to sign up for the classes that will teach him how to do xyz. It's something.
But at the end of the day I think I'm the one that needs to change. He has a great job and career he loves. He takes care of all his bills. Maybe he's not a great saver but I am soooo I guess that balances out. And his biggest thing is the want to be a family man like his dad so maybe he doesn't have the time for a side business right now.
I think I'm comparing himself to me. I'm ALWAYS doing domethjng in the works to better myself or create more income. But that's just my personality.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
I've been going back and forward about posting this.
Dh says he is depressed. He dealt with depression in college once and it was diagnosed & treated. Part of me is really angry because he did not tell me this until after we married. Also about three months ago I vetted a bunch of doctors and made an elaborate ass spreadsheet on possible providers. Of course he never made a move on it and I assumed things had gotten better. I have a basic understanding of depression and I am ashamed to say that I am having a hard time empathizing.
Anyone experience in this area? Any tips?
Dh says he is depressed. He dealt with depression in college once and it was diagnosed & treated. Part of me is really angry because he did not tell me this until after we married. Also about three months ago I vetted a bunch of doctors and made an elaborate ass spreadsheet on possible providers. Of course he never made a move on it and I assumed things had gotten better. I have a basic understanding of depression and I am ashamed to say that I am having a hard time empathizing.
Anyone experience in this area? Any tips?
MrsMe
Well-Known Member
Right back at ya!
I know you need this just as much as I do, then. Glad to know I am not alone.
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