Married Ladies Random Thoughts

CafedeBelleza said:
I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. He eats whatever I cook. Even when it's not good and I toss my plate. He'll still eat it.

I try not to buy any man made foods.
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Ima do my part Ima try to clean up our diet anymore. I cook a lot of easy foods like Kraft Mac and cheese or Campbell's cream of mushroom or chicken which I know has a lot of sodium. I decided I'm going to pay for him to see a personal trainer for two weeks for $160 and Ima make sure there are healthy snacks in the house at all times like fruit, grilled chicken and salad mix, brown rice no more white wheat bread
 
PrissiSippi said:
Ima do my part Ima try to clean up our diet anymore. I cook a lot of easy foods like Kraft Mac and cheese or Campbell's cream of mushroom or chicken which I know has a lot of sodium. I decided I'm going to pay for him to see a personal trainer for two weeks for $160 and Ima make sure there are healthy snacks in the house at all times like fruit, grilled chicken and salad mix, brown rice no more white wheat bread
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Sounds good!
Dh has hypertension and all those diet related issues on his mom's side and his dad had prostate cancer. I know that anything can happen to anyone but I control what I can.
We did crossfit together last year and it was fun and sexy :D
 
Question for the married ladies.

How important is it for you to marry for the lifestyle he can afford you, whatever that may be (career woman, SAHW/SAHM, somewhere in the middle, lots of traveling, etc)?

Like when you're considering a man as a potential husband, how highly does that rate for you compared to the other qualities you'd want in/from him?
 
hunnychile said:
Question for the married ladies.

How important is it for you to marry for the lifestyle he can afford you, whatever that may be (career woman, SAHW/SAHM, somewhere in the middle, lots of traveling, etc)?

Like when you're considering a man as a potential husband, how highly does that rate for you compared to the other qualities you'd want in/from him?
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No amount of love was special enough for me to struggle. I would say there's a sliding scale with some level of non-negotiables. Like I know a single mom who was doing well on her own but is now struggling financially after getting married. She seems happy with the relationship but I wouldn't be able to be happy if I'm worried about needs.
Every need had to be met from his income only. That means different things to different people.
 
Femmefatal1981 this is so true. My DH lost a few pounds and bought some new shorts. When he put them on, he just stood there waiting for me to admire him. I almost asked him why was he just standing there like that looking all goofy. But then I saw that he wanted me to compliment him, lol. So glad I did.
 
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hunnychile said:
Question for the married ladies.

How important is it for you to marry for the lifestyle he can afford you, whatever that may be (career woman, SAHW/SAHM, somewhere in the middle, lots of traveling, etc)?

Like when you're considering a man as a potential husband, how highly does that rate for you compared to the other qualities you'd want in/from him?
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It was important. If DH had all the same qualities but no ambition, no job, etc., I wouldn't have married him. I'm not willing to be the breadwinner.
 
hunnychile said:
Question for the married ladies.

How important is it for you to marry for the lifestyle he can afford you, whatever that may be (career woman, SAHW/SAHM, somewhere in the middle, lots of traveling, etc)?

Like when you're considering a man as a potential husband, how highly does that rate for you compared to the other qualities you'd want in/from him?
Click to expand...

I may be in the minority when I say this, :look: but I knew I made more money than DH before I married him and that did not bother me at all. I wasn't bothered because DH is a teacher and they don't get paid six figures a year and I understood that. His career "title" was not more important than his work ethic. I loved his loyalty and maturity. I didn't go into marriage with the mindset "what can he do for me" but more of "what can we build together". He had a stable career and was doing what he loved to do. I am a senior Recruiter and I work for a corporate company and manage my own branch. Now you don't wanna go into any marriage with a lazy man or a man with his hand out. Me and DH both came into the marriage with something offer. But I didn't count him out because he didn't make more than me. I would have missed out on a wonderful man. :love3: And yes I make more money than he does but I NEVER bring that up and I make sure he feels like the king of his house. But that's just me. :laugh:
 
hunnychile said:
Question for the married ladies.

How important is it for you to marry for the lifestyle he can afford you, whatever that may be (career woman, SAHW/SAHM, somewhere in the middle, lots of traveling, etc)?

Like when you're considering a man as a potential husband, how highly does that rate for you compared to the other qualities you'd want in/from him?
Click to expand...
I wouldn't have married my husband if I thought my lifestyle would have to decline. When I was by myself I was comfortable and together we are comfortable. If we were just living on one salary we couldn't do the things we enjoy doing now.
I think a woman has to look at every asset a man brings to the table and determine what matters most. In my case, I'd rather have my husband than a man with twice his income who has children and baby mama(s).
 
LucieLoo12 said:
I may be in the minority when I say this, :look: but I knew I made more money than DH before I married him and that did not bother me at all. I wasn't bothered because DH is a teacher and they don't get paid six figures a year and I understood that. His career "title" was not more important than his work ethic. I loved his loyalty and maturity. I didn't go into marriage with the mindset "what can he do for me" but more of "what can we build together". He had a stable career and was doing what he loved to do. I am a senior Recruiter and I work for a corporate company and manage my own branch. Now you don't wanna go into any marriage with a lazy man or a man with his hand out. Me and DH both came into the marriage with something offer. But I didn't count him out because he didn't make more than me. I would have missed out on a wonderful man. :love3: And yes I make more money than he does but I NEVER bring that up and I make sure he feels like the king of his house. But that's just me. :laugh:
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We are the same. I make more than my DH and it doesn't bother me either. I like you, never bring it up. My DH has a great work ethic and is always working and building for us, so one day I am sure he will out earn me. But if he doesn't that's cool too. lol. We will build together.
 
Taleah2009 said:
We are the same. I make more than my DH and it doesn't bother me either. I like you, never bring it up. My DH has a great work ethic and is always working and building for us, so one day I am sure he will out earn me. But if he doesn't that's cool too. lol. We will build together.
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I'm not trying to be snarky, but do women or men for that matter bring up who makes more money? My husband makes more than I do but I can't imagine why he would throw that out there.
 
LivingInPeace said:
I'm not trying to be snarky, but do women or men for that matter bring up who makes more money? My husband makes more than I do but I can't imagine why he would throw that out there.
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I personally don't know any who do, but just from hearing stories and reading stories on the internet there are some women who do.
 
It has gone back and forth throughout our relationship who makes more. First he made more, then me, then we made the same, then he made more again. When we got married, I think I made more. We don't care about that. The main thing was his ambition, willingness to work, etc. I knew that if he lost his job, he would do whatever he had to in order to make sure we didn't go without. He would never be comfortable sitting around letting me take care of everything.

I knew that we would eventually have kids, and I didn't want to be worried about how we would handle things while I was on maternity leave, or if I wanted to take time off to care for our children, so that was something I thought about when we were dating.
 
LivingInPeace said:
I'm not trying to be snarky, but do women or men for that matter bring up who makes more money? My husband makes more than I do but I can't imagine why he would throw that out there.
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Taleah2009 said:
I personally don't know any who do, but just from hearing stories and reading stories on the internet there are some women who do.
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I know one couple where the man points out that he makes more, that he works hard allllll the time and it would be pointless for her to go get her Master's because it will only make more bills for them, but....they are white.
 
OriginalBeauty said:
Y'all I need an Anti-Pettiness Prayer. I'm not even being funny. It would be like the Serenity Prayer and I would say it every day for the month of June because my inlaws are coming and I need strength not to let my Mama come out and tell people about themselves.
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My friend signs up for as many extra shifts as she can when her inlaws are in town
 
I was trying to think of ways to gently push DH into doing stuff on his own around the house. Earlier I read somewhere on here I think about having a to-do list but I never kept up with it. This time I updated the to-do list but made sure not to put in time constraints on it and just wrote it and acted like it was never there....no referencing it...bringing it up...criticizing...nothing.

He actually accomplished most of the stuff even though they're some big tasks. I had been pushing him earlier that we needed a home maintenance fund so that if anything ever came up with the house that was small (hot water heater, ac maintenance, cleaning the carpets, etc) that we could pool our money from that and just slowly build it back up until needed. So now we have residual money just to spend on the little stuff we need to get done as well. I'm geeked.

lol I asked DH to get a personal trainer. He reluntantly agreed to a month worth of sessions. This is his second session with an official trainer. He is tired as heck hahaha. Men turn into babies with any ache or pain. I'ma rub all over them muscles when I get home hahaha. Smelling like Ben Gay #RelationshipGoals

I really miss it when I was doing something nice for DH every day. I'ma switch it up and go out of my comfort zone and do more of his Love language things and not just random nice stuff. After awhile I had forgotten of nice lil things to do. It was kinda silly but I was writing down what I did for him everyday. I think I'ma get back to that. It held me accountable. Until it becomes second nature.
 
So now he's mocking my hair care. He says, "Yeah, girl. I had to wash my hair. I got in the shower and did my deep-con-poo. I think I'm going to ride my motorcycle with the vents open on my helmet so my hair can dry. If it's not dry when I get home I'll just sit under the dryer for the next sixteeen hours."
Whatever man.
 
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