Married ladies - IF you were single how would you meet Mr. Right?

L

lana

Well-Known Member
I just read a lot of the thread about "Why don't women put as much work into dating as they do into finding a job?"

If you do not like the topic of this thread, that's okay...stop reading now unless you wish to continue.

If you are happy being single and have no desire to be married one day...no need to read further unless you want to continue.

I thought it would be helpful for single ladies (that hope to be married one day) to get a married woman's perspective.

Married ladies - IF you were currently single how would you go about meeting Mr. Right? What steps would you take, if any? Please post. Your comments might help one of our LHCF sisters find her future hubby. :) You never know.
 
Personally. I would travel. You meet so many interesting people when you do. Even if you don't meet anyone that you're interested in, it will give you a more rounded viewpoint of people in general, and help you narrow down the personality type you're most interested in and open your mind to people from different places.

I'd also join social groups that focused on my interests AND some that might not be but where I know men frequent. For instance Sports, Investing, Technology and the like.

Most of all, in my opinion focusing on being the best you that you can be, will attract the right people in your life both men and women. HTH :)
 
Depends on what type of man I want, if I want a dude to be taking home diff girls home I will hit the club, if I want a thug I will hit the hood, blue collar maybe a office hangout like star bucks, now this doesn't apply for all dudes because some live in the hood and not thugs at all and etc, but this is what i would go by
 
This is a great topic. I'm divorced so no advice, just saying I am looking forward to the feedback.
 
I agree that traveling is a great way to meet new people.

IF I was currently single, I would honestly do a lot of the things that I do right now.

Keep myself in the best physical condition possible (for me) but it's attractive to others.
Maintain the highest standard of cleanliness, personal grooming, skincare and dental health (lol) hey, I'm in braces and loving it. I personally never leave the house without looking great, unless it's an emergency (then all bets are off).

But I would add:

Pray to meet the right person.
Bookstores, sporting events, hanging with a great crowd of friends, joining a social group or - for me - a running/jogging/biking/hiking group.
Remain open and approachable even when doing the simplest thing like grocery shopping or running errands.
Follow the advice of a man that gave out unsolicited advice: Keep it marketable for yourself, not for him - but he will like it too.

I did all that before I was married and whew-hoo - I met my DH while running normal errands and I was looking supercute (just because) and we're celebrating another anniversary this year. Boy, was I glad I didn't go to out looking crazy and not caring what anyone else thought. Thank goodness for that little piece of advice!
 
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If were divorced, I would move to a city with more black people and get out. When I was single, I was never home. Never.
 
nysister said:
I'd also join social groups that focused on my interests AND some that might not be but where I know men frequent. For instance Sports, Investing, Technology and the like.
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Definitely this.

Also, husbands, fiancees and boyfriends of your girlfriends can be a great resource for single women to find a marriage minded man. Ask them if they know anyone you might click with.

I think that in social circles, marriage is 'contagious' for lack of a better word. All of DH's college friends were in LTRs by the time they were in their late 20s and married by their early 30s. Some of them sooner.

I my experience, it's rare to see 1 married man with a group of single guys. If all of your boyfriend's friends are single and playing the field, he's less likely to take it to the next step with you. Start bringing him around couples you know so that he sees marriage is not a 4 letter word.
 
I agree with nysister I would travel.

I would also just get out...and do day to day things in hopes that those I run into would be interested in the same things I would be interested in. Outside of that, I have no idea. I've been married for a long time and met my dh while being out and about. I know my sis keeps a man. She is on marriage #2 to what I consider a UE black man. She isn't in the best shape at all, but she is constantly out doing something (because that is who she is...it wasn't to find men) Charities, social groups, etc. She is a social butterfly.
 
oh...and like someone said technology groups/functions. I attended a technology awards dinner/social event with dh...and the place was CROWDED with early 20's single men with million dollar tech companies THAT THEY OWNED. There were quite a few black men there as well. I even said to dh, if I were single...I would have my behind right in here...snatching up all these available men with means. :lol: So many women sleep on the nerds.

There were two black women at this funcion..I was one of them. Outside of that...the WW and Asian women were in abundance...catching those men early.
 
I would probably meet him on the internet (where I met DH) or I'd move to either Europe or Africa.
 
snillohsss said:
oh...and like someone said technology groups/functions. I attended a technology awards dinner/social event with dh...and the place was CROWDED with early 20's single men with million dollar tech companies THAT THEY OWNED. There were quite a few black men there as well. I even said to dh, if I were single...I would have my behind right in here...snatching up all these available men with means. :lol: So many women sleep on the nerds.

There were two black women at this funcion..I was one of them. Outside of that...the WW and Asian women were in abundance...catching those men early.
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um, what event was this? :look:
 
Layluh said:
I would probably meet him on the internet (where I met DH) or I'd move to either Europe or Africa.
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I was about to say the bolded as well. But you'd have to be very smart about the bolded, particularly as an American who is often placed in the "have" instead of the "have not" category.
 
beebstt said:
um, what event was this? :look:
Click to expand...

This particular one was called the Moxie Awards. In fact, one million dollar company that won 3 that night was founded by 2 black men (Code Academy...now they are called The Starter League)....who are single...under 25. Wait...I think one of the guys is like 26 or 27yrs. They are paid. Not flashy dudes...so they would slip under your radar if you just saw them in the library.

These technology events have drinks FLOWING non-stop....so its a laid back atmosphere.
 
As snillohsss mentioned earlier, don't sleep on volunteering with charities. It's good for your soul plus it's a great way to meet PEOPLE who could introduce you to other people......
 
1. Attend local 100 black men events, grad frat events, hbcu alumi events, any events where I thought I'd find the type if guys I like.

2. Join a gym and get hot.

3. Take some pole classes

4. Go to happy hour a couple times a week

5. Go hang out with my 2 single friends who I've never heard complain about the shortage of men.

6. Travel

7. Go back to school

8. Volunteer with my political party and on local campaigns

9. Go to tailgate parties and sporting events.

10. Put a profile on a dating site.

And I'd do this all at once. If I were to be single again I wouldn't want to be out there too long.
 
allmundjoi said:
Stripclubs. I feel many are who they really are when liquored and making it rain.
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I don't know. I'd probably travel and meet him via sight-seeing. I met my husband in college. He is my college sweetheart. So, I don't even know how I'd date now.
 
EverythingOldIsNew said:
1. Attend local 100 black men events, grad frat events, hbcu alumi events, any events where I thought I'd find the type if guys I like.

2. Join a gym and get hot.

3. Take some pole classes

4. Go to happy hour a couple times a week

5. Go hang out with my 2 single friends who I've never heard complain about the shortage of men.

6. Travel

7. Go back to school

8. Volunteer with my political party and on local campaigns

9. Go to tailgate parties and sporting events.

10. Put a profile on a dating site.

And I'd do this all at once. If I were to be single again I wouldn't want to be out there too long.
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You mean you would approach it like finding a job? :lol:
 
Ditto to travel. I would go places ALONE, not with other women, it's intimidating to men. I would look up any free community event, expo, art exhibit, lectures, et. al and do something out the box. I'd also go where men go, take up a hobby like exercise, join a gym, run a 5K (there may not be many AA women there but there are always black men IME) Also--I've noticed that men find it attractive that you make the effort work out--regardless of your size. If you live in a urban area, I'd hang in the city center, single men EAT out and they live near where they work-typically downtown. They go to happy hour and eat there:yep:
 
Maybe it's because I'm married and I am not looking but man I see men like all the time, free, single, legit decent, UE whatever you wanna say and I'm like It's a buffet of men out there:look::lol: I get kinda jealous:look:
 
EverythingOldIsNew said:
1. Attend local 100 black men events, grad frat events, hbcu alumi events, any events where I thought I'd find the type if guys I like.

2. Join a gym and get hot.

3. Take some pole classes

4. Go to happy hour a couple times a week

5. Go hang out with my 2 single friends who I've never heard complain about the shortage of men.

6. Travel

7. Go back to school

8. Volunteer with my political party and on local campaigns

9. Go to tailgate parties and sporting events.

10. Put a profile on a dating site.

And I'd do this all at once. If I were to be single again I wouldn't want to be out there too long.
Click to expand...

This list is lovely and I've done about 80% of that list and have met some great guys. What if the issue is sealing the deal? Because again not everyone's issue is meeting/dating quality men, it's sealing the deal.
 
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EverythingOldIsNew said:
1. Attend local 100 black men events, grad frat events, hbcu alumi events, any events where I thought I'd find the type if guys I like.

2. Join a gym and get hot.

3. Take some pole classes

4. Go to happy hour a couple times a week

5. Go hang out with my 2 single friends who I've never heard complain about the shortage of men.

6. Travel

7. Go back to school

8. Volunteer with my political party and on local campaigns

9. Go to tailgate parties and sporting events.

10. Put a profile on a dating site.

And I'd do this all at once. If I were to be single again I wouldn't want to be out there too long.
Click to expand...

Doing these three currently all at once..and going on year 3 of single life.
 
EverythingOldIsNew said:
1. Attend local 100 black men events, grad frat events, hbcu alumi events, any events where I thought I'd find the type if guys I like.

2. Join a gym and get hot.

3. Take some pole classes

4. Go to happy hour a couple times a week

5. Go hang out with my 2 single friends who I've never heard complain about the shortage of men.

6. Travel

7. Go back to school

8. Volunteer with my political party and on local campaigns

9. Go to tailgate parties and sporting events.

10. Put a profile on a dating site.

And I'd do this all at once. If I were to be single again I wouldn't want to be out there too long.
Click to expand...

Yes. all of this. And at the bolded, I see lots of eligible men at sporting events, lots, lots.
 
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