Carolina Girl
New Member
Do you ladies believe the age you got married makes a factor as well?
No, I think your mind set towards marriage is more important than what age you get married.
Do you ladies believe the age you got married makes a factor as well?
It is hard.
I get tired of reminding him that we both work the same amount of hours so he needs to pull his weight when it comes to the house work.
I am tired of him using my stuff. DON'T FREAKING USE MY EXPENSIVE CONDITIONER OR FACE CREAM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!! After years of screaming and threats he finally understood that what is mine is mine.
When we need to talk he has nothing to say. When I don't want to talk he cant seem to shut up.
I hate when he buys stuff for the house without consulting me. This is OUR house and he is clueless when it comes to decorating!
I hate the fact that all important life decisions impacts us both and I cannot just do what I want anymore without his cooperation and any action he decides to take will also affect me.
Sometimes I just want to be on my own. I just want to have my own space instead of someone being in my face everday. I just wish to be single again.
Then I remember what it was like when I was single and hitting 30. All my friends/sisters were married/shacked up with kids and though I was dating very often/regularly, nothing was lonelier than coming home to an empty house or having to spend holidays like Christmas with family members, not because you want to be with them, but because you don't want to be on your own at Christmas. I hated the feeling that I was not a part of something. With marrriage (most times) I feel like I am a part of a unit, though some days I will also feel like I want to disassociate myself from that unit....................
Um no even if you work the same amount of hours, most of the house work falls on the wife's shoulders just like child rearing, you're the one who has to keep the house clean, cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, clean errant dirty Hanes that have been left in the sheets, plus have sex after doing all of that and working an 8 - 10 hour day.
Simply because it's expected of women, and in those early lovey dovey stages when you're going above board doing everything with stars in your eyes you are essentially setting yourself up for failure, cooking 3 course meals, ironing his socks, sex every night, then after the newness wears off and he's not helping with the house work because you've shooed him away for 1 - 2 years you get bitter not realizing you set up your own down fall.
The best advice my memaw gave was NEVER start anything you don't plan on doing for the rest of your marriage
Do you ladies believe the age you got married makes a factor as well?
Do you ladies believe the age you got married makes a factor as well? I am now ready to get married and settle down at 30 then if I were to do that at 25. I have learned many things about myself this past year and although I assumed I knew what it entails to get married but I had no clue about staying married.
For example ;
Learning to be less selfish
Compromising
Not allowing my girlfriends opinions to influence my relationships
Taking care of home. .... And the list goes on
I know I would of been divorced, filing for or separated had I said: I DO @ age 25
I would love to hear from everyone... Especially the married women
Um no even if you work the same amount of hours, most of the house work falls on the wife's shoulders just like child rearing, you're the one who has to keep the house clean, cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, clean errant dirty Hanes that have been left in the sheets, plus have sex after doing all of that and working an 8 - 10 hour day.
Simply because it's expected of women, and in those early lovey dovey stages when you're going above board doing everything with stars in your eyes you are essentially setting yourself up for failure, cooking 3 course meals, ironing his socks, sex every night, then after the newness wears off and he's not helping with the house work because you've shooed him away for 1 - 2 years you get bitter not realizing you set up your own down fall.
The best advice my memaw gave was NEVER start anything you don't plan on doing for the rest of your marriage
I'm not married, nor do I have any prospects down the pipeline, but I think that I would be the exact same way. I wouldn't need to see my husband everyday; I would just need to know that he is there.
This is NOT true. Hubby works usually 6 days a week and today was his day to do the laundry, mop the floors & do the vacuuming. He also cooked us breakfast and did the dishes.
Marriage does not have to be such an unequal division of household chores. I am not superwoman and my husband does not expect me to do everything. He has been taking care of the house since he was a child. I praise my mother-in-law for that although I never had the chance to meet her.
I LOVE being married, but if DH were a different kind of man, I could imagine hating married life. Some guys at the gym make snippy comments to DH when he mentions having to get home to cook to do the laundry (since they say it's "woman's work), but most of them also complain to DH about their crappy married life.
Readyone. You know what's so funny... I was like that with my ex! I wanted to just be alone some days and just watch tv or relax but now I understand why! Lol. But then we had other issues that contributed to that.
Another question I have for the married ladies is. If it is important to have that spark, butterflies, etc with that person you will marry and is that a determining factor for success? In addition. Do you women still keep the sexy (hair, nails , clothes) after marriage? I've read a few of those relationship books that say men are visual and one of the reasons they cheat after marriage is that women lose their vavavoom per se?
(Notebook and pen ready......)
It is hard.
I get tired of reminding him that we both work the same amount of hours so he needs to pull his weight when it comes to the house work.
I am tired of him using my stuff. DON'T FREAKING USE MY EXPENSIVE CONDITIONER OR FACE CREAM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!! After years of screaming and threats he finally understood that what is mine is mine.
When we need to talk he has nothing to say. When I don't want to talk he cant seem to shut up.
I hate when he buys stuff for the house without consulting me. This is OUR house and he is clueless when it comes to decorating!
I hate the fact that all important life decisions impacts us both and I cannot just do what I want anymore without his cooperation and any action he decides to take will also affect me.
Sometimes I just want to be on my own. I just want to have my own space instead of someone being in my face everday. I just wish to be single again.
Then I remember what it was like when I was single and hitting 30. All my friends/sisters were married/shacked up with kids and though I was dating very often/regularly, nothing was lonelier than coming home to an empty house or having to spend holidays like Christmas with family members, not because you want to be with them, but because you don't want to be on your own at Christmas. I hated the feeling that I was not a part of something. With marrriage (most times) I feel like I am a part of a unit, though some days I will also feel like I want to disassociate myself from that unit....................
This is NOT true. Hubby works usually 6 days a week and today was his day to do the laundry, mop the floors & do the vacuuming. He also cooked us breakfast and did the dishes.
Marriage does not have to be such an unequal division of household chores. I am not superwoman and my husband does not expect me to do everything. He has been taking care of the house since he was a child. I praise my mother-in-law for that although I never had the chance to meet her.
I LOVE being married, but if DH were a different kind of man, I could imagine hating married life. Some guys at the gym make snippy comments to DH when he mentions having to get home to cook to do the laundry (since they say it's "woman's work), but most of them also complain to DH about their crappy married life.
The right person is huge. I have a girlfriend who is always asking me how I get my husband to do this and do that. She thinks with effort she can make her marriage like mine. I gently try to tell her that we married completely different types of men, period, and that makes a huge difference.
Um no even if you work the same amount of hours, most of the house work falls on the wife's shoulders just like child rearing, you're the one who has to keep the house clean, cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, clean errant dirty Hanes that have been left in the sheets, plus have sex after doing all of that and working an 8 - 10 hour day.
What qualities make a man right for marriage?