Lessons your mother taught you about men...

B

BroadstreetBully

New Member
We all have heard our mothers (or older female family members), tell us about men, and often...in our youth...we ignored these lessons, we thought we knew it all. But what lessons from your mother have you found to be true? This can include older female family members as well.
 
A man won't want to buy the cow if you give away the milk for free.

I learned this from watching my cousin, she used to call me a prude because I was a virgin, and she would just sleep with whoever. . . now, I'm married and her cow is still for sale. :perplexed
 
Starr1 said:
A man won't want to buy the cow if you give away the milk for free.

I learned this from watching my cousin, she used to call me a prude because I was a virgin, and she would just sleep with whoever. . . now, I'm married and her cow is still for sale. :perplexed
Click to expand...

I have always loved that quote. It's the truth. :yep:
 
Be with a man that loves you more than you love him. I didnt understand at first but now I do.
 
Starr1 said:
A man won't want to buy the cow if you give away the milk for free.

I learned this from watching my cousin, she used to call me a prude because I was a virgin, and she would just sleep with whoever. . . now, I'm married and her cow is still for sale. :perplexed
Click to expand...

As you can see it's still going on today.
 
Marry a man who loves you more than you love him.
All men cheat, deal with it.
Manage all the money and give him an allowance.

But my mom is on her 3rd marriage, and that one is soon to expire, so I take what she says about men with a grain of salt. :blush:
 
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1. Always end the phone call first...this one works like a charm.

2. Never give a man money...once you start he is always going to look for it.
 
My Mom told me not to accept, or ask guys for money.

This lesson came when I was in the 6th grade, and this boy brought some perfume in a brown paper bag to my house. Mommy answered the door and let him know that I wasn't allowed to have boyfriends or accept gifts from boys. She told me about it later on, I guess I was out playing. But her lesson was that some men will think they own you, or that you are obligated to them, when you accept money and gifts from them.

Years later when I was dating, I always had some "just in case" money on me when I went out with a new guy. Of course, I could accept b-day or X-mas gifts from my boyfriend, that started at age 15, with a promise ring from a dude that wasn't even my boyfriend... memories :spinning:
 
That I should always be a priority in a man's life, not a chore.

To realize that even though the man in my life is great, to remember that I am wonderful too and he should always be happy that I am in his life.

To never write letter! (this was when I was in high school, lol)

To never depend on a man
 
From my mom: stop whoring around. she basically thought i was dating too many guys and she said i had to calm down! :look: She always tell me to use my common sense and follow my instincts with a new guy.

From my dad: "Dont take money from a guy or let a guy pay your bills. If you cant afford anything, come and ask me and i will give it to you as long as im still alive"
 
never love a man unconditionally, there should always be conditions to your love for him.

do not force a man to love you or treat you the way you expect to be treated, if it is not working be grown and leave...something bigger and better will come along, it always does have, faith

alwaya ask me or your sisters what we really think about your man because we are not blinded by love we can tell you the honest truth...it is now up to you to accept what we let you know or not.
 
My always told me forget about the race of a man, the only important man is the green ($$$) man (basically marry a man with money).

Never tell all of your business to a man.

If a man really wants to be with you, he'll do everything in his power to be with you.

She also told me to make sure I don't get true love confused with being in love with the idea of being in love.

My dad used to tell me to never take money from a man also (although my mom used to tell me the opposite, lol).
 
None....:look:

I love my mom to death, but she was one of those mothers who did the basics of what she was supposed to do as a mom (kept a roof over our head, feed us, etc). But when it came to discussions about relationships, men, sex- the woman was a vault!

Between that and not having a father around to give me that perspective, I was pretty clueless. :rolleyes:
 
oh and always have your own money on the side. and never pay for a date (especially if he is the one that is asking you out) That last one is a problem with some guys, but I just cant bend, What I look like paying for a grown arse man to eat and you the one that wanted to go on a date?
 
reena said:
oh and always have your own money on the side. and never pay for a date (especially if he is the one that is asking you out) That last one is a problem with some guys, but I just cant bend, What I look like paying for a grown arse man to eat and you the one that wanted to go on a date?
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I usually offer and if he accepts my offer, there will be no 2nd date.
 
My mom and aunts always told me to be careful about being with a man that doesn't not respect his mother or any other females in his family. If he doesn't treat his own mother with respect then there is a slim chance that he will treat you any different.

Keep communication open but don't tell him everything.

Don't be with anyone that is afraid to let you shine.

And like some others mentioned make sure he loves you more than you love him.
 
stargoddess said:
never love a man unconditionally, there should always be conditions to your love for him.

do not force a man to love you or treat you the way you expect to be treated, if it is not working be grown and leave...something bigger and better will come along, it always does have, faith

always ask me or your sisters what we really think about your man because we are not blinded by love we can tell you the honest truth...it is now up to you to accept what we let you know or not.
Click to expand...

I have to agree with the part that's bold. This is one of the main reasons why I had to end my relationship (if thats what you would call it) just last night! I felt that it was too often that I would have to get on him about doing things that a "boyfriend" should do. It just turned into me nagging him all of the time and I'm not a nagger(sp?)! I didn't like the person I was changing into just to try and make a good boyfriend out of him. He would always say "I can't read your mind, you have to tell me". The whole time I am thinking "You dumbass! You are a grown ass man and I have to tell you when to take me out or spend time with me? I don't have to say anything when you want some ass! Nevertheless, his ass had to GO!!!

Glad I let that out!!:yep::yep:

This brings me to one thing that my momma told me about him and every other guy. Never ignore/overlook the warning signs and stop signs! Some guys have them posted on their foreheads. Take it for what it is and move on!
 
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my dad says always marry someone ont he same level with you..same out look on life, same education level and someone who will be able to take care of you financially, a quality man will not marry a girl (someone who has never worked, doesnt have a job, has never lived on her own has) and try to turn her into a wife.
 
MiSs_RoChELLe said:
I have to agree with the part that's bold. This is one of the main reasons why I had to end my relationship (if thats what you would call it) just last night! I felt that it was too often that I would have to get on him about doing things that a "boyfriend" should do. It just turned into me nagging him all of the time and I'm not a nagger(sp?)! I didn't like the person I was changing into just to try a make a good boyfriend out of him. He would always say "I can't read your mind, you have to tell me". The whole time I am thinking "You dumbass! You are a grown ass man and I have to tell you when to take me out or spend time with me? I don't have to say anything when you want some ass! Nevertheless, his ass had to GO!!!

Glad I let that out!!:yep::yep:

This brings me to one thing that my momma told me about him and every other guy. Never ignore/overlook the warning signs and stop signs! Some guys have them posted on their foreheads. Take it for what it is and move on!
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i had a relationship like that in the end i let him go cause it wasn't my job to teach him how to be a man
and you're right about the signs, when he told me that he doesnt know what to do in a relationship i should have listened, but im glad you are now out of it girl :yep:
 
MzLady78 said:
None....:look:

I love my mom to death, but she was one of those mothers who did the basics of what she was supposed to do as a mom (kept a roof over our head, feed us, etc). But when it came to discussions about relationships, men, sex- the woman was a vault!

Between that and not having a father around to give me that perspective, I was pretty clueless. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

*raising hand* my mom never spoke about how I was to comport myself in relationships either. My mom was not absent or uninvolved, she was VERY involved and caring and loving in all that I did and did everything in her power to give me everything I needed and most things I wanted, she just never really mentioned boys or men or sex, unless I specifically asked. I never even asked anything until I was 20 something. She is a shyer type who doesnt want to impose. She REALLY got lucky cuz I could have made some much bigger mistakes. lol Now I have to ask her specifically...and if things are going well, she still doesnt give much of an opinion,...only when stuff is going off course.

I remember the 1 time she got upset with me regarding a boy. I was about 15-16...just starting to like boys (hadnt even kissed anyone yet). I had all these telephone romances. Anyway, this guy I met...he was cool...he eventually became my first kiss. Well...he got locked up...and I wrote him a letter or two while he was in jail.....or juvie...he was like 17 or 18 or something. Well I fell asleep while I was writing one of the letters. I recall using red ink...lipstick, etc. When I woke up, the letter had magically disappeared. I was scared. My mother was so mad. I thought she was mad because he was older (only by 2 yrs).

About 5 yrs ago I asked her why this instance made her so mad...she said it wasnt so much that I was writing a letter to a boy or that he was older....it was that I just started liking boys and I'm already starting out on the wrong foot with someone who is incarcerated. I constantly tell her the importance of telling me her opinion...lol I get it now. Anyway, that was the 1 and only incarcerated guy I dealt with...so maybe her say nothing methods work in some sort of weird subliminal way...lol

Now me, on the other hand, I cannot see raising kids, either sex, without telling them how I feel about relationships in general, and specifically with the person they may be dealing with at the time...lol
 
sunbasque said:
From my mom: stop whoring around. she basically thought i was dating too many guys and she said i had to calm down! :look: She always tell me to use my common sense and follow my instincts with a new guy.

From my dad: "Dont take money from a guy or let a guy pay your bills. If you cant afford anything, come and ask me and i will give it to you as long as im still alive"
Click to expand...


That sounds like my Daddy's philosophy :lol:. I watched Chris Rock Never Scared the other night and he was saying how, now that he has a daughter, he realizes his only job in life is to keep her off the pole :poledancer:

As for my mom, she does not trust my taste in men :look: so now she rarely offers her advice...but she always told me to never chase a man. Let them approach and court you.

The best lesson I've ever received was that men will do as much (or as little) as you let them get away with doing!
 
reena said:
Be with a man that loves you more than you love him. I didnt understand at first but now I do.
Click to expand...

Me too, it's so true, and the one about saving time for yourself....it gives the impression that you have a life outside the relationship, not clingy/needy, and that your self sufficient which is a really good quality to men, they have to know that when the chips fall down YOU can pick them up, you know the "Superwoman" sydrone..
 
LadyEsquire said:
Marry a man who loves you more than you love him.
All men cheat, deal with it.
Manage all the money and give him an allowance.

But my mom is on her 3rd marriage, and that one is soon to expire, so I take what she says about men with a grain of salt. :blush:
Click to expand...

NO, that goes to show she keeps it pushing which is another rule, NEVER have a man thinking that you will settle for less, they value you more!
 
rmwms said:
1. Always end the phone call first...this one works like a charm.

2. Never give a man money...once you start he is always going to look for it.
Click to expand...

Girl! Isn't that the truth! I need to start doing this in my future relationships. I feel so odd when he ends it first:rolleyes:



I'm loving these life lessons ladies, keep 'em coming. :yep: I'm taking notes.
 
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