Ladies are any of you fearful of...

[BrownBetty]

I have a fear that someone will come up behind me and cut my ponytail off, lol. I don't know why or what made me think this, but I am paranoid about someone standing behind me or too close, lol.

I thought this was a crazy irrational fear that I had... I don't wear my hair in a ponytail out in the street. Broads are nuts!!

MV

 

[frankie]

I've never really been too concerned or fearful about my hair once it gets longer. I have several friends with long hair and they've never been attacked or put in fear of someone cutting it off (aside from the scissor happy stylists of course) so I guess I never even gave it a thought. I hope you ladies don't let fear consume you and ruin the joy that you should feel as a result of your hard work an dedication.

ETA: Energist your hair is gorgeous!!! Weave checks are the highest compliment...lol. Your hair looks so good it can't be real!!!

 

[prospurr4]

Wow, some of these stories are so crazy!

Really makes me re-think something that DH told me at the start of my hair journey when I told him that I was going to grow my hair to waistlength. DH, who "admires" my body, said to me, "Oh, a hot body and long hair too? Them jealous heffas gonna be coming out the woodwork!"

I laughed, but he was serious...maybe he knows something that I don't. Hmmmm.

ETA: Energist, you and your hair are beautiful. Don't allow anyone/anything to cause you to live in fear. I plan on thoroughly enjoying my hair, as I do now.

 

[tenderheaded]

This has preyed on my mind for several months since I read a thread on TLC. The lady lived in London and a coworker kept threatening to cut her hair The human resource director issued a warning but the woman continued. She was eventually fired for creating a hostile work environment.

Another lady told the story of her mom's waistlength hair when she got married. Her SIL would always give her the evil eye. One day the SIL offers to brush all this lovely WL hair and cuts it ABOVE the shoulder

People, hair haters exist, and some are truly evil!!!!

 

[Blackrican]

Girl, ever since I was younger, people have been all up in my hair. In Jr. High, this girl had the nerve to come up to me and say, "is that horse hair?" and tried to touch my hair (she really pissed me off!). I am sooo used to it. BUT, I have not been 100% natural since I was in elementary school, so being natural does scare me. That comes with more issues than being relaxed, as a majority of black women in the US relax their hair.

But yes, I do hate having to explain, and I do hate the stares. I wish I could have a LHCF wallet card that I could pass out to the 'haters', and let them know that they can also have healthy hair.

Perhaps that would invite a friendly attitude rather than jealousy?

As for other races....they have NOT been educated as to blacks people hair types (just as we have not until a few years back), so it is expected. Such a shame though.

 

[DSP]

These stories are scary but not uncommon. My niece (11 at the time) was jumped on her way home from day camp by a group of middle school girls jealous of her APL type 3a hair. They tore a handful out of the side of her head. I've seen with my own eyes grown women give that little girl the evil eye over her hair. My sister has the same hair type, but I'd never seen that level of hate directed at her. Sis says it's because her daughter has a dark complexion that her long curly hair offends these women and girls so much. My sister is lighter in hue, so people assume she's mixed and is "allowed" to have that kind of hair, but how DARE her dark child have long flowing curls. People are SICK.

 

[chocolatesis]

These stories are scary but not uncommon. My niece (11 at the time) was jumped on her way home from day camp by a group of middle school girls jealous of her APL type 3a hair. They tore a handful out of the side of her head. I've seen with my own eyes grown women give that little girl the evil eye over her hair. My sister has the same hair type, but I'd never seen that level of hate directed at her. Sis says it's because her daughter has a dark complexion that her long curly hair offends these women and girls so much. My sister is lighter in hue, so people assume she's mixed and is "allowed" to have that kind of hair, but how DARE her dark child have long flowing curls. People are SICK.

This reminds me so much of some things a co-worker said to me. She's white but her children are all mixed (half black). Her oldest daughter is very dark skinned and has long MBL curly hair. On one occasion she said that girls in her daughter's school were always giving her a hard time regarding her hair. Then once, when her daughter was at work with her (take your kids to work day), she had her hair up in a bun and my co-worker says "that's all she ever does with it....it's always in a bun...she never wears it out". At the time I just thought she was one of those girls who just doesn't like doing hair, but now I'm thinking that she probably wore it up all the time to avoid all the hate.

 

[sareca]

I've had women be anywhere from extremely hateful to just plain weird about my hair. So pretty I much always watch my back.

 

[locabouthair]

man this thread has me with my mouth open. i think it's really sad that people have to resort to violence over some hair. it is so not that serious. as a child i got teased SO badly about my hair because it was short 4b and in my 22 years i never thought that someone who has "good" hair would get beaten up over it. you're damned if u have long hair damned if you dont. I'll admit these stories do scare me.

 

[DSP]

Okay, my husband just walked into the room and asked what the heck am I reading. He said I'm all huddled up like I'm looking at ghost stories. I told him hair haters ARE scary if you're a black woman trying to grow some hair!

Could y'all imagine a LHCF sleepover camp? We wouldn't be trying to scare each other talking about Bloody Mary or the Boogeyman. It would be "hair haters" and "scissors-happy stylist" stories all night. :::shiver:::

 

[sareca]

Okay, my husband just walked into the room and asked what the heck am I reading. He said I'm all huddled up like I'm looking at ghost stories. I told him hair haters ARE scary if you're a black woman trying to grow some hair!

Could y'all imagine a LHCF sleepover camp? We wouldn't be trying to scare each other talking about Bloody Mary or the Boogeyman. It would be "hair haters" and "scissors-happy stylist" stories all night. :::shiver:::

Thank you very much! I just laughed out loud and now everybody in the neighboring cubicles wants to know what's so funny. Now I'm gonna have to make up something.

 

[DSP]

Thank you very much! I just laughed out loud and now everybody in the neighboring cubicles wants to know what's so funny. Now! I'm gonna have to make up something.

Sorry Chica!

 

[WomanlyCharm]

This thread is scaring the daylights out of me.

I had a woman the other day ask if this was all my hair...she was staring at me so hard I just blurted out, "uh, no."
Then she relaxed and was friendly again.
Damn, what if I'd said YES, it's mine? erplexed

It's amazing to me that people, especially black women, can be so evil over something like HAIR. But then again, if it wasn't hair, it'd be our clothes, our body shape, our car, anything. If someone wants to hate you, they'll find a reason to.

 

[lovenharmony]

The concept has crossed my mind, but it's not a situation that I would fear. It all depends on your environment. I'd say in a club I'd be more aware cause women can be quite catty there. But since I don't go to clubs, I'm alright Plus most of the black women in my area wear weave and wigs anyway, so most likely they'd think I'd have a weave in. I feel for those that have gone though any nonsense because of jealously.

 

[Energist]

LAWD HAVE MERCY! I can't believe the development of a thread that I almost felt too embarassed to start, but am now glad I did. These stories are unbelievable and just sad... really heartbreaking I'm sorry for all of you who have suffered or have had friends to suffer from this ignorant behaviour!

 

[shoelover1972]

Energist - just wanted to say that you have a very pretty face and your hair is also pretty. I would be hating if a saw you - only joking.

 

[MadisonK]

Does anyone think it's amusing how one woman will see pretty hair and respond with compliments and questions and another woman will try to cut it off or be rude in some way?

I get a lot of rude looks and responses because of my hair. I've had people pull it...feel for a track WITHOUT permission...hairdressers cut it off WITHOUT my permission and say "I thought it was better". My ex roommate told me with her friend standing beside her "there's nothing cute about you but your hair!" Wow...how rude!

I use to feel that I had to apologize for my hair to make people feel more comfortable. And honestly I have to resist this feeling a lot.

And I want to THANK all the women on this forum who are so confident about their own beauty that they share their secrets with me. THANK YOU!

 

[Yellowflowers]

To all of you beautiful sisters who have those gorgeous locks or who will have them very soon, please don let fear from emotionally and spiritually wounded women keep you from acheiving your goals. Yes these stories are horrible, but they are more the exception than the rule. These types are more likely to make foolish comments and ask dumb *** questions.

I pity the idot that tries to do some of these things to me. If she needs that hand she'd better keep it to herself.

Don't allow crazy *** women to stand behind you, all up in your head. Don't engage in conversation with them about your hair. Simply state that I do not like to talk about hair. In most cases they will leave you alone.

It is certainly not your responsibility to help these fools grow out thier hair.
They are probably so consumed by thier ugly issues until they will probably not even appreciate your efforts.

They spend most of thier time hating on other women because they are angry at themselves because they feel that they cannot accomplish anything or have anything for themselves. So they might try to take it out on other women who have something they want.

Just remember when all is said and done, after these types of women get through acting a fool, you will still be beautiful and you will still have your gorgeous hair and there is not much they can do about that.

Continue to be the best you can be and be proud. Hold your head up and keep on steppin'.

 

[MizAvalon]

I have never heard stories this extreme!

This thread is eye opening and sick at the same time.

 

[Bint Yusef]

This is something I never thought of in regards to length.

Im used to hair hate in regards to texture.

 

[spelmanlocks]

The only thing I fear is a hairdresser cutting my hair off. I don't fear women staring or making comments. Everyone always says I walk really fast, so I'd probably miss anyone staring anyway. I'm pretty open about my hair with people so if someone makes a rude comment, I don't mind telling them that I spend hours on my hair and that its my hobby. However, I know that my bestfriend from high school was hated on a lot. She is Nigerian and has thick waistlength hair. I have to admit when we first became friends I was shocked that it was her real hair as well, since I'd never seen a black girl with hair that long prior to LHCF. But it is her real hair. However, some girls I know really couldn't stand her because of it. She was constantly accused of lying about it being her real hair. People would also sit around and talk about how her hair was the only pretty thing about her.

I don't think I would be offended by people saying things like wow girl is that all your hair or asking if its a weave. Its good for other black women to know I think because it shows that we can indeed grow our hair.

 

[caribeandiva]

The only thing I fear is a hairdresser cutting my hair off. I don't fear women staring or making comments. Everyone always says I walk really fast, so I'd probably miss anyone staring anyway. I'm pretty open about my hair with people so if someone makes a rude comment, I don't mind telling them that I spend hours on my hair and that its my hobby. However, I know that my bestfriend from high school was hated on a lot. She is Nigerian and has thick waistlength hair. I have to admit when we first became friends I was shocked that it was her real hair as well, since I'd never seen a black girl with hair that long prior to LHCF. But it is her real hair. However, some girls I know really couldn't stand her because of it. She was constantly accused of lying about it being her real hair. People would also sit around and talk about how her hair was the only pretty thing about her.

I don't think I would be offended by people saying things like wow girl is that all your hair or asking if its a weave. Its good for other black women to know I think because it shows that we can indeed grow our hair.

after reading all these stories i went from scared to angry. pardon my french but those stupid bs need to get a life. Stop worrying if it's my hair or not and just worry about yours. Geez is that so hard?

Thank goodness i'm very tall and look very intimidating cause i simply cannot have strangers all up in my scalp WITHOUT my permission. I'd just give them a look that would embarass them like hell and just walk away after that.

 

[KiniKakes]

I'd say in a club I'd be more aware cause women can be quite catty there. But since I don't go to clubs, I'm alright. Plus most of the black women in my area wear weaves and wigs anyway, so most likely they'd think I'd have a weave in.

I agree with this.

But in general, i wear buns so......... most folks dont know i have long hair. I do feel safest in my buns though, esp. after reading that post a few months ago where the elementary school teacher with a BSL ponytail got her ponytail cut off (at the elastic band!!!) while she was at the chalkboard, by that bad little boy in her class. That story freaked me out! Made me glad i wear protective styles daily.

 

[Edie]

You're not alone. If I press my hair bone straight and put it in a ponytail, I get women (and hate to say this but its 99% black women) who have actually pulled on my ponytail as they are telling me "oh your hair is pretty...". Or I'll get "oh look at her features, she must be mixed with something. And of course I've had women try and run their fingers thru my hair. WTH . It really makes me sad that so many black women choose to be envious of another black woman's hair, when all thay have to do is pick up a book and educate themselves on how to care for and grow their own hair. Then they could stop playing the hair haters game. Its really sad.

Women are great for pulling on your ponytails or trying to run their hand through your hair. One time my husband was with me and he told the woman to step back and get her dirty hands out of my hair. My hero!

 

[1Specialk]

Wear it out and wear it proud.

ITA!! Enjoy your hair.

 

[chocolatesis]

Women are great for pulling on your ponytails or trying to run their hand through your hair. One time my husband was with me and he told the woman to step back and get her dirty hands out of my hair. My hero!

Wow! She probabaly won't EVER try to put her hands in anyone else's hair again!



OT: KiniKakes, I've been meaning to tell you, that dress you're wearing in your avatar is absolutely georgous. I love it.

 

[Esmé]

The stories in this thread are really sad. The most anyone's ever done was actually put their hand into my hair to feel around for tracks. Without asking, of course.

I don't feel fearful when I wear my hair down, even when it was longer. I just hated the feel of some stranger touching my hair and scalp all of a sudden and asked them not to do it again.

Of course, there are the repeat offenders. I do a quick "hi, nice to see you again" and keep it moving around some of my cousins because they are hair freaks. To them, if it's long hair and if it's on a black woman, then it must be a weave.

 

[caribeandiva]

The stories in this thread are really sad. The most anyone's ever done was actually put their hand into my hair to feel around for tracks. Without asking, of course.

I don't feel fearful when I wear my hair down, even when it was longer. I just hated the feel of some stranger touching my hair and scalp all of a sudden and asked them not to do it again.

Of course, there are the repeat offenders. I do a quick "hi, nice to see you again" and keep it moving around some of my cousins because they are hair freaks. To them, if it's long hair and if it's on a black woman, then it must be a weave.

i love your name! (that's my name: Esmeralda). back on topic: someone would actually put their hands in your hair after you told them NOT to do it again. some people have no shame huh?

 

[kandi1280]

This is so damn sad. I remember in grade school you got jumped if your hair was long. And God forbid you had the nerve to have long hair AND have light skin too?!?!?!?

I really didn't think that stuff was still going on to this degree now, with wigs and lacefronts and everything.

 

[Esmé]

Thank you, caribeandiva!

I always try to avoid them because "don't touch my hair, please" translates to "feel free!" to them.