Ladies are any of you fearful of...

[HauteHippie]

I've definitely thought about this because I tend to have "problems" with certain kinds of girls. It's seems like, "Oh no, just one more thing to be catty about..." But I refuse to ever shrink myself to fit. So...that's it. Just keep on, keeping on. That is CRAZY about the girl in the club and your friend! What a psycho!

 

[beans4reezy]

other women becoming envious of your hair as it grows longer?

Fearful of envy? No, I welcome it. That means I am doing something right.

 

[caribeandiva]

Fearful of envy? No, I welcome it. That means I am doing something right.

Now I feel the same way but in past i thought it was my fault for some reason. crazy huh?

 

[claud-uk]

My sister was burned in the face as a baby by her/our aunt (it was my mother's half sister, they had different mothers). My sister can't have been more than 2 or 3 when it happened.

My sister STILL has that large scar covering her whole chin and part of her jaw to this day... she's almost 40

My mother's half sister is called BLOSSOM and she lives right there in the US.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

I've grown up eating so much envy and bullsh!t, and the whole time I thought it was me. I worked so hard to hide my light, I almost ruined my life behind it. I had WL hair, and i chopped it off to EL to please those bald headed chicks when I was in Jr. High. But I'm a grown woman now....I don't have time to worry about other women's feelings. If you're mad, step ya game up!

 

[caribeandiva]

My sister was burned in the face as a baby by her/our aunt (it was my mother's half sister, they had different mothers). My sister can't have been more than 2 or 3 when it happened.

My sister STILL has that large scar covering her whole chin and part of her jaw to this day... she's almost 40

My mother's half sister is called BLOSSOM and she lives right there in the US.

claud-uk I'm confused. Is this hair related?

 

[greenandchic]

I never feared for my hair, but my mother was extra cautious for me growing up. Her sister's hair was BCed by a hair dresser in LA back in the '60s out of jealousy so my mother always had her radar up when it comes to my hair.

I was not allowed to have anyone at school touch it. She knew the person who would braid/cornroll/bead it (it was always the same girl), I had the same hair dresser from the age of 8 for an occasional press until I was 24.

In Jr. High it was not uncommon for a girl to get "jumped" by 5+ girls and had her hair cut off for no reason. I was not allowed to wear my hair down - not even a loose ponytail until high school.

Right now I feel OK for the most part. I do get some side eyes when I'm in the BSS buying hair product and not hair - especially when my hair is out. Many women here do not have healthy hair so sometimes I stick out like a sore thumb.

 

[afroette]

I never feared for my hair, but my mother was extra cautious for me growing up. Her sister's hair was BCed by a hair dresser in LA back in the '60s out of jealousy so my mother always had her radar up when it comes to my hair.

I was not allowed to have anyone at school touch it. She knew the person who would braid/cornroll/bead it (it was always the same girl), I had the same hair dresser from the age of 8 for an occasional press until I was 24.

In Jr. High it was not uncommon for a girl to get "jumped" by 5+ girls and had her hair cut off for no reason. I was not allowed to wear my hair down - not even a loose ponytail until high school.

Right now I feel OK for the most part. I do get some side eyes when I'm in the BSS buying hair product and not hair - especially when my hair is out. Many women here do not have healthy hair so sometimes I stick out like a sore thumb.

greenandchic, dang, where did you grow up??

 

[afroette]

My sister was burned in the face as a baby by her/our aunt (it was my mother's half sister, they had different mothers). My sister can't have been more than 2 or 3 when it happened.

My sister STILL has that large scar covering her whole chin and part of her jaw to this day... she's almost 40

My mother's half sister is called BLOSSOM and she lives right there in the US.

This is terrible. I hope your sister knows she is still beautiful.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

greenandchic, dang, where did you grow up??

Must be the Bronx, cause I've seen that happen too....Many times. Bottles upside the head, and everything...

 

[greenandchic]

@greenandchic, dang, where did you grow up??

Oakland, CA. The schools were Calvin Simmons and Frick Jr. High (now called middle school). I heard its better now, but those were some rough, typical ghetto school years back in the late '80s - early '90s.

 

[LightEyedMami]

I am not fearful but I get comments from my non black colleagues and for some reason they are really bad from the ladies I work with that are from Atlanta.

I am getting ready for a meeting now where I will see them in SF and I am NOT in the mood to deal with the hair comments. One got right upiddy about my hair at another conference and I had to put her in her place in front of my boss and all of my colleagues.

Yeah, some of this is not your imagination. Some people will be okay and others won't and I have chosen at this time not to use heat on my hair so the longer it gets in its natural state it is causing some eybrows to raise and folks to make comments.

I am ready for them though. It is my hair and it has taken time and work to get it where it is and I am ready to defend it and my choice of how I wear it and style it!

I don't have a poker face so I can say something with my eyes and expressions and not utter a single word. In other words...they don't want a piece of this! Ya feel me!

I feel ya', now give me 5 on the black hand side!!..

 

[DarkJoy]

Oakland, CA. The schools were Calvin Simmons and Frick Jr. High (now called middle school). I heard its better now, but those were some rough, typical ghetto school years back in the late '80s - early '90s.

@dang greenandchic. I went to calvin too! And yes very rough back then...my parents transfered me to mcchesney to get me out of that mess.

 

[greenandchic]

@dang @greenandchic. I went to calvin too! And yes very rough back then...my parents transfered me to mcchesney to get me out of that mess.

DarkJoy - It was even worse when my brother went there in the early/mid '80s! My mother eventually had me transferred to Kings Estates which was much better. There was a couple of gun and knife incidences, but it wasn't like the previous schools I went to.

 

[DarkJoy]

DarkJoy - It was even worse when my brother went there in the early/mid '80s! My mother eventually had me transferred to Kings Estates which was much better. There was a couple of gun and knife incidences, but it wasn't like the previous schools I went to.

greenandchic: I was there around 86 or so. My friend was horribly gang r@ped for hours on the school grounds when trying to go home. My parents xfered me after that. It was like running the gauntlet to get home. The 72 stairs was a minefield! Always fights there. I still got ptsd issues from those days (seriously).

As for hair, I was teased about it relentlessly (pressed) until my mom caved on the perm. Hair has not been the same since. Never able to retain after that.

 

[DarkJoy]

oh yeah. Going to mcchesney was real culture shock. Mostly whites and asians. From the old school being mostly black and latino. Never had any real dealing with wp in my peer group til then. And u know what? At the black school I was teased for my hair to the point of tears.

At the white school? Nobody even looked twice at it. Stress over my hair died. I even bleached it, shaved it and dyed it pink! Nobody cared! Lol

That's a damn shame.

 

[greenandchic]

@greenandchic: I was there around 86 or so. My friend was horribly gang r@ped for hours on the school grounds when trying to go home. My parents xfered me after that. It was like running the gauntlet to get home. The 72 stairs was a minefield! Always fights there. I still got ptsd issues from those days (seriously).

As for hair, I was teased about it relentlessly (pressed) until my mom caved on the perm. Hair has not been the same since. Never able to retain after that.

DarkJoy - That's horrible!
That actually happened at Frick which is why my mother transferred me a second time. Hell, this happened in elementary school too (Horace Mann). School was no joke...

My mother never gave in to the perm, so I was teased for getting my hair pressed though my pressed hair looked 1000% better than the broken off, gelled to death hair they had.

 

[Lynnerie]

I went to a predominantly white school but there were a few black girls. I remember girls not liking you for several reasons.

A. Having long hair
B. Being light skin
C. Attention from guys
D. Being a cheerleader
E. Talking "white"

My hair has never been what I would consider long but there was this woman a grown woman at my church who would grab and pull my hair and say "you think you are cute don't you." I was in my twenties when this happened. This woman has kids older than me. So my point is even as we grow older people will still be envious for whatever reason.

 

[candy626]

greenandchic: I was there around 86 or so. My friend was horribly gang r@ped for hours on the school grounds when trying to go home. My parents xfered me after that. It was like running the gauntlet to get home. The 72 stairs was a minefield! Always fights there. I still got ptsd issues from those days (seriously).

As for hair, I was teased about it relentlessly (pressed) until my mom caved on the perm. Hair has not been the same since. Never able to retain after that.

Wow that's real...

I went to predominantly white school. Nobody cared about my hair being long, short, frizzy, straight, curly. I guess looking back on it it was probably a good thing. I always wanted to go to a black school because I thought it would be more "fun." But I think it was for the best I was in the environment I was in. In fact, I know it was for the best.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

I went to a predominantly white school but there were a few black girls. I remember girls not liking you for several reasons.

A. Having long hair
B. Being light skin
C. Attention from guys
D. Being a cheerleader
E. Talking "white"

My hair has never been what I would consider long but there was this woman a grown woman at my church who would grab and pull my hair and say "you think you are cute don't you." I was in my twenties when this happened. This woman has kids older than me. So my point is even as we grow older people will still be envious for whatever reason.

These things were the reason I was attacked for YEARS of my life. Years.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Yes there are people that would cut your hair if it is long... I think Mermaid mentioned that this happened to a friend of hers.
However in my eyes that goes far beyond jealousy,IMO there's a big difference between being jealous and assaulting someone.

This right here.

 

[claud-uk]

claud-uk I'm confused. Is this hair related?

Damn, I just re-read what I wrote and I see what you mean. I was feeling quite emotional when I wrote that!

Sorry, yes it is hair related. My mother and her sister only have the same father, they have different mothers. My sister's hair was quite something as a baby - when she was older it was big like Rudy Huxtable's from the 80's? Our aunt was apparently making comments about my sister from the day she was born, and comparing her to her own child. Looks like envy turned into jealousy and she was driven to harm a baby shocking. She was babysitting my sister and when my mother came to collect her my sisters face was burned from the kettle, my aunt said it was "an accident" and hadn't even called the doctor, she said my sister had "pulled the kettle down or something" even though my sister was only 4 or 5 months old at the time, not crawling or sitting up,

My sister has to look at herself every day in the mirror, makes you wonder how my aunt can continue to look at and live with herself.

 

[claud-uk]

This is terrible. I hope your sister knows she is still beautiful.

Thanks sweetheart, it breaks my heart to say that just isn't true although she is very much so on the inside - she's outgoing, friendly, kind and caring and she certainly puts me to shame!

 

[God_Favor]

Thanks sweetheart, it breaks my heart to say that just isn't true although she is very much so on the inside - she's outgoing, friendly, kind and caring and she certainly puts me to shame!

I'm still a little lost on your post, forgive me. So you are saying that your sister is NOT beautiful on the outside due to a scar on her face ? Hopefully one day you can see that her on the inside beauty radiates on the outside.

I think your post should be in the off topic section. I would love to hear more about how this has changed the relationship with the aunt. That entire story is crazy and so sad..

 

[claud-uk]

I'm still a little lost on your post, forgive me. So you are saying that your sister is NOT beautiful on the outside due to a scar on her face ? Hopefully one day you can see that her on the inside beauty radiates on the outside.

I think your post should be in the off topic section. I would love to hear more about how this has changed the relationship with the aunt. That entire story is crazy and so sad..

This could get a little sensitive: the scar is ugly, no doubt, but I did stress that her inner beauty does radiate through to the point where it doesn't matter what her physical appearance is because she really is one of those people that everyone loves, and I must say I don't even see her scar any more (my DH mentioned it a while back and I had to really think what he was talking about, I'm so used to it) but anybody who doesn't know her won't help noticing that scar and noticing it over anything else, and that is all down to pure jealousy of an adult towards a baby over hair, so hopefully my post is still relevant to this thread.

I'm just a year younger than my sister (I'm 37) and have never met my aunt - we've never been told the full story but you know how you hear whisperings and bits and pieces growing up?

I'm not the best with words as you might have guessed, I've never really discussed this with anyone before and I guess I just vented and went a bit OTT, definitely not looking to start a new thread on it but just wanted to give my account, and how hate/jealousy/envy and so on knows no barriers, even blood

 

[caribeandiva]

Damn, I just re-read what I wrote and I see what you mean. I was feeling quite emotional when I wrote that!

Sorry, yes it is hair related. My mother and her sister only have the same father, they have different mothers. My sister's hair was quite something as a baby - when she was older it was big like Rudy Huxtable's from the 80's? Our aunt was apparently making comments about my sister from the day she was born, and comparing her to her own child. Looks like envy turned into jealousy and she was driven to harm a baby shocking. She was babysitting my sister and when my mother came to collect her my sisters face was burned from the kettle, my aunt said it was "an accident" and hadn't even called the doctor, she said my sister had "pulled the kettle down or something" even though my sister was only 4 or 5 months old at the time, not crawling or sitting up,

My sister has to look at herself every day in the mirror, makes you wonder how my aunt can continue to look at and live with herself.

Your aunt is wrong on so many levels.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

That is just crazy and yet I can believe every word of it! That's the society we live in though. Sad. I haven't had an issue with this but people and family have always told me that I'm intimidating so I doubt anyone would approach me with weirdness. I believe they might just stare from afar and stay quiet. *shrugs*

 

[caribeandiva]

That is just crazy and yet I can believe every word of it! That's the society we live in though. Sad. I haven't had an issue with this but people and family have always told me that I'm intimidating so I doubt anyone would approach me with weirdness. I believe they might just stare from afar and stay quiet. *shrugs*

pre_medicalrulz I've been told I'm intimidating too (maybe because I'm 6 ft tall?). And you're right I think it works to my advantage because people tend to not even try me when it comes to foolishness. I count that as a blessing.