Ladies are any of you fearful of...

[imstush]

When I was younger I used to be fearful that the girls that use to bully me would chop off my hair. Now that I am older I think it's humerous. On the train one day these two girls were talking and one of the girls while staring at me, raises her voice and says "I want a yaki weave like that" The other day in Golden Crust, I had my hair in a wng, this girl was standing next me at the counter, she was leaning so far back looking at my hair no one can't convince me she wasn't looking for tracks. It was so bad that I wanted to bend over, and part my hair for her so she could see.

 

[YoungWavey]

Yea, i have a friend(well an hi and bye friend) i swear on everything i love. Everytime she saw me she would say "Oh is that all your hair"...Or the best one is "How do you keep your weave in soo long without washing it"...And everytime i would say its my hair...and try to laugh it off without slapping the sh*t out of her...I figure she is jealous...and that she pays $70 every two weeks to get her hair done for it to look like a mess. I guess i get pleasure when she asks me how it looks and i would say "wow, she did a good job maybe i should go to her"...lmao...really i want to say you look like a fool...i guess thats how i get back at her...lmao

 

[beaux cheveux]

OFF Topic: Girl what relaxer you use, your hair looking silky and flowing!

 

[Energist]

In reference to the bolded:

Do they search for a track literally or are you talking about visually??? I wish someone would touch my hair with out my permission!

No visually... lol

 

[misskris816]

WOW! These stories are rather alarming, to say the least! I remember when I was younger my best friend's mom would make comments about my hair. She would also talk about how it was so thick, but the way she would say it insinuated that it was a negative thing.She used to talk about how I must have to use a strong relaxer, and so on. Meanwhile, her daughter's hair was fried, died, and laid to the side. We are almost 24 now and her hair is the same length and condition as it was when I was 7.

 

[guesswho]

all of this hate for hair! this is so sad, it's actually quite disturbing, don't let these stories hold you'll back or keep you'll back from your hair goals we are growing our hair to show it not keep it in a bun and when my ish is waistlength I'm gonna be swinging from left to right just move when you see me coming through

 

[***Toy-Pisces***]

No visually... lol

OH...I was like hell naw!!! Any way, girl your hair is beautiful and never mind those haters. I know it can get to you at times but forget them!!! If it's down run your hands through and show em some scalp and no tracks. I bet they would be really mad. Just don't turn your back after you do it.

 

[prettygrl]

other women becoming envious of your hair as it grows longer? I live in an area of Oklahoma where a lot of Black women don't take care of their hair to the point that they will look at my hair and search for a weave track What makes it worse, is that White and Native people over here are convinced that Black hair doesn't grow, to where they will stare at my hair and search for a track as well. It's either that or they assume you're not all Black! I personally think it's ridiculous, because I still feel that my hair is in the baby stages of getting long, compared to many women on this board and would wonder what some of these women would do if they saw some of the head of hair on you ladies. Anyways, sometimes I feel self conscious about wearing my hair out and worry about how I'll feel when it gets longer. I think I feel this way, because a female almost tried to burn my friends hair off with a lighter in a club many years ago out of jealousy, because she had wavy beautiful long hair and was getting a lot of attention. If I didn't catch the girl, my friends hair would have gone up in flames. I think about this from time to time. I wonder if there is a price to pay for achieving long and beautiful healthy hair

Anyways, I'd like to be happy about my progress without feeling self conscious about it, but I don't know how. I smile and try to be friendly out of nerves, but I don't always get a smile in return. Am I making sense to you ladies?? Do any of you go through these fears or am I being irrational?

OT: i'm just excited you are from Oklahoma! you are one of the few people i've seen here from OK.

Back on topic: I really don't think it has to do with being in OK no matter where you go you will find jealous people.

 

[ChoKitty]

I have the same fears as you. I wear my hair up a lot because I feel a little self concious about it. I love my hair and how long its getting, but when I go to work and out where I know I have to deal with people. Other black women always grab my hair to see if its real, and its not even that long. Its almost brastrap.. I pull away and tell them its real, they ask who does it and what flat iron i use. I say no one (I learned to never let anyone other than me put anything on my hair) and I never use heat. At that point, the either start trying to point out what's wrong with it or they say the only reason it looks nice is because my mother is white. It makes me so angry. The only aspect I got from my mother with hair is the red in it. Otherwise, I have my daddy's hair 100%. Also, when I didn't know how to take care of it, and it was tore up and short, dry, crackly..wouldn't grow past my ears and stuck up everywhere my biracial backround was never brought into play. I was "normal" when it came to hair. Now that I've learned how to take care of it and its starting to look good, its immediately the only reason. That's why I keep it up a lot...more so when I have certian classes at school, or have to work on certian floors of the hospital. I know its sad that I've become so self-concious around other black women about my hair, but when that is what I go through everytime I wear it down, its kind of hard not to be...

I have noticed though, that wearing my hair down causes me to get hit on more, lol. Boys who I walk by every day and never get a hello, suddenly turn around when I wear my hair down.

 

[Cleve_gryl]

All of the stories of woman on woman hate make me really sad . I've never given hair hate a second thought. I've honestly been experiencing hate my entire life because of how I look, dress, carry myself etc...So, as my hair grows longer I should just get used to hearing more sideways comments and glances. Haterism actually flatters me to a certain degree, because obviously if someone has something to say about how you look or how "fake" your real hair looks it must be FABULOUS!!! Stay up beautiful ladies, there are others out there just like us that work hard to have the things we want

 

[STLCoverGirl]

I have a fear that someone will come up behind me and cut my ponytail off, lol. I don't know why or what made me think this, but I am paranoid about someone standing behind me or too close, lol.

 

[taraglam2]

I hardly ever where my hair down. It is in a bun, wash-n-go bun or pinned up or scarved 90% of the time. Well I had my hair down for the first time in like months and a lady that knew that I was actively growing my hair told me, "DANG you can stop growing your hair now. It's long enough goodness". Those were her exact words. I knew it was sheer jealousy because of remarks she had made in the past. I also was like if she thinks mine is long what would she think of some of the ladies on LHCF ??? About 2 months later this same person was saying she wished she could have half the hair I had. And that time I had my hair in a bun.

My question is people see ladies with long weaves, wigs and extensions every day all day. The minute they see a black woman with long hair that is hers it is a problem? I just do not get it.

 

[LaReyna756]

In high school, one of my cousin's friends was held down by a couple of girls, while another one cut her hair off. That story scared me. I think when I do go to certain places, I wear my hair up with that in the back of mind.

I bun anyways, because it's convenient, but like someone else mentioned, sometimes it's easier to go to class or to go to work in a bun and not have worry about jealous females.

 

[LaReyna756]

Its almost brastrap.. I pull away and tell them its real, they ask who does it and what flat iron i use. I say no one (I learned to never let anyone other than me put anything on my hair) and I never use heat. At that point, the either start trying to point out what's wrong with it or they say the only reason it looks nice is because my mother is white. It makes me so angry. quote]

I know that that must make you upset. I once overheard a couple of people talking about my hair outside of my dorm room, saying that it was very long. Someone said I must be biracial, and one girl who knew me demanded that I wasn't. Then a guy jumped in and explained that I was from the South, and that my long hair could be explained by miscegenation. I burst out laughing at his lengthy explanation and at everyone's ignorance.

But later, when I told this story to one of my guy friends, he responded like, yeah, that explains it. That made me so angry. I hadn't realized before that so many people really believe that black women can't grow long hair without being of mixed heritage.

 

[shunta]

Wow, some of these stories are just crazy! I cant believe how some people can be. OP, you are so pretty, and so is your hair. Ummm, can I have the password to your album?

 

[Nefertiti0906]

Its almost brastrap.. I pull away and tell them its real, they ask who does it and what flat iron i use. I say no one (I learned to never let anyone other than me put anything on my hair) and I never use heat. At that point, the either start trying to point out what's wrong with it or they say the only reason it looks nice is because my mother is white. It makes me so angry. quote]

I know that that must make you upset. I once overheard a couple of people talking about my hair outside of my dorm room, saying that it was very long. Someone said I must be biracial, and one girl who knew me demanded that I wasn't. Then a guy jumped in and explained that I was from the South, and that my long hair could be explained by miscegenation. I burst out laughing at his lengthy explanation and at everyone's ignorance.

But later, when I told this story to one of my guy friends, he responded like, yeah, that explains it. That made me so angry. I hadn't realized before that so many people really believe that black women can't grow long hair without being of mixed heritage.

I've had "long hair" (SL or APL) most of my life and I have and still experience the comments and stares. At one point I was so uncomfortable that I had cut my BSL hair to 2 inches (I know crazy decision)

I still remember when I was in 9th grade, the guidance counselor (a black female) who knew of my Nigerian heritage said to me infront of everyone "you can't be all black with hair like that, the white slave traders must be in your blood." And her tone was so mean.

 

[Chromia]

Anyways, sometimes I feel self conscious about wearing my hair out and worry about how I'll feel when it gets longer. I think I feel this way, because a female almost tried to burn my friends hair off with a lighter in a club many years ago out of jealousy, because she had wavy beautiful long hair and was getting a lot of attention. If I didn't catch the girl, my friends hair would have gone up in flames. I think about this from time to time. I wonder if there is a price to pay for achieving long and beautiful healthy hair

I have thoughts like this once in a while.

Sometimes I think about the scene in the movie 200 Cigarettes where this guy whips out scissors at a bar and cuts the hair of a long-haired guy in the bar. And a scene in a Lifetime movie where these women are being held captive in their home by thieves, and one theif grabs a woman's hair and cuts it off. That scene really bothered me.

Sometimes I think what if some crazy drunk person does that in a bar, or what if someone attacks me or carjacks me or whatever and cuts my hair, too? I think about how it takes one second to take away years of progress and hard work.

 

[ChoKitty]

Its almost brastrap.. I pull away and tell them its real, they ask who does it and what flat iron i use. I say no one (I learned to never let anyone other than me put anything on my hair) and I never use heat. At that point, the either start trying to point out what's wrong with it or they say the only reason it looks nice is because my mother is white. It makes me so angry. quote]

I know that that must make you upset. I once overheard a couple of people talking about my hair outside of my dorm room, saying that it was very long. Someone said I must be biracial, and one girl who knew me demanded that I wasn't. Then a guy jumped in and explained that I was from the South, and that my long hair could be explained by miscegenation. I burst out laughing at his lengthy explanation and at everyone's ignorance.

But later, when I told this story to one of my guy friends, he responded like, yeah, that explains it. That made me so angry. I hadn't realized before that so many people really believe that black women can't grow long hair without being of mixed heritage.

Isn't it amazing that healthy hair automatically means that? And if we had broken, damaged hair we'd be "normal". Yes, I am mulatto. I am proud of what I am, but my hair is the way it is because I TAKE CARE OF IT. Thats it. I wish people would realize it...

Nefertiti0906
I can't believe your counselour said that. Nowadays, that comment would cost her job. That's not right.

 

[Str8~Curly]

That would have been the end of the chick's life.

other women becoming envious of your hair as it grows longer? I live in an area of Oklahoma where a lot of Black women don't take care of their hair to the point that they will look at my hair and search for a weave track What makes it worse, is that White and Native people over here are convinced that Black hair doesn't grow, to where they will stare at my hair and search for a track as well. It's either that or they assume you're not all Black! I personally think it's ridiculous, because I still feel that my hair is in the baby stages of getting long, compared to many women on this board and would wonder what some of these women would do if they saw some of the head of hair on you ladies. Anyways, sometimes I feel self conscious about wearing my hair out and worry about how I'll feel when it gets longer. I think I feel this way, because a female almost tried to burn my friends hair off with a lighter in a club many years ago out of jealousy, because she had wavy beautiful long hair and was getting a lot of attention. If I didn't catch the girl, my friends hair would have gone up in flames. I think about this from time to time. I wonder if there is a price to pay for achieving long and beautiful healthy hair

Anyways, I'd like to be happy about my progress without feeling self conscious about it, but I don't know how. I smile and try to be friendly out of nerves, but I don't always get a smile in return. Am I making sense to you ladies?? Do any of you go through these fears or am I being irrational?

 

[Nay]

Wow, crazy stories!

I'm never fearful of anyone doing anything to my hair, but the reactions/statements of other people definitely show the ignorance of some folks.

The other day I was in line at El Pollo Loco ordering some chicken, when the Hispanic cashier said to me, "Is that all your hair?" (My hair was down in a twistout big ponytail). I replied, "Yes, it all mine." Then he said in somewhat broken english, "I know that people like you usually can't grow long hair." I guess by the "like you" comment that he meant black folks. I replied, "Oh, African Americans can grow their hair long, it's just that some of them do things to their hair that damage it and cause it to break off." I walked away, and that was the end of that.

But as I walked to my car, I wondered why is it that people feel compelled to ask "Is that your hair?" Why do they just have to know?

 

[MochaSilk]

I'm not fearful but I am cautious about my hair and who's around me. Growing up, I had girls in high school pull my ponytails and act like they were gonna cut it. When I was 15 we went out of state to visit a relative and he snatched the ish outta my ponytail! It wasn't even that long! It still hurt like a mugg though, physically and emotionally.

Other guys be hatin' on my man's hair, and it's mostly guys with long hair! I told hubby about this thread, and we both watch each others' backs. Guys in clubs have tried to light his hair on fire in the past. There's this one woman up at his salon that keeps joking like she's gonna cut his hair. That doesn't know who's hubby she's messing with. He said he's got it under control and she's only joking, but if I ever catch her joking like that...... oooh, lemme stop.

**deep cleansing breath**
I like to think I'm a nice, approachable person but one with personal boundaries. I don't mind people asking if it's all my hair or staring. No one's been bold enough to put their hands in my hair. Should the day arrive, that person will most likely get hit. I'm picky about who I let get near me, let alone touch me. Should someone damage my hair (or my husband's), you'll see me on the news.

 

[sugarose]

There is this one lady at my church who has always had the longest hair in church (APL). She was so happy to have the longest hair, she would walk up to the black women and flip her hair 1" from their face. She did this to me too many times to count. Now, I hadn't been to church consistantly for about 1 year, and when I did go I had my hair in a bun. The last time she saw me with my hair down I was between shoulder and APL.
Fast foward to about 1 month ago, here I come with my hair past BSL, right above midback. She see's me with all this flowing, shining hair and starts glaring and .
Now, if she see's me coming, she will straight turn around and walk the other way. One time I was going in a door and she was walking out the same (double) doors, and she turned her back to me while she passed me.
Seriously, I never thought it would be such a huge deal.
I'm not fearful though. People can look at me whatever way they want, as long as they don't mess with me.
Wait till I show up at WL.

 

[Ladyhenri]

This thread has horrified me. Why are people so evil?
All these girls that had their hairs set on fire could have been seriously scarred or even dead!!

I think this problem might be worse in the states though...British people are mostly snubbish/ unfriendly, which often means that few people would ever confront you. They would mostly pretend they havent noticed your hair is very long.
In my weavaholic days i often did very natural looking weaves that people thought were my hair. When worn down, i got hit on a lot, and girls often asked if it was my hair. But they always did this in a nice way, and when i said no, they would ask for the name of the person that did my weaves.

Negative attention...no...but then again, it wasnt my hair

 

[chocolatesis]

I've had "long hair" (SL or APL) most of my life and I have and still experience the comments and stares. At one point I was so uncomfortable that I had cut my BSL hair to 2 inches (I know crazy decision)

I still remember when I was in 9th grade, the guidance counselor (a black female) who knew of my Nigerian heritage said to me infront of everyone "you can't be all black with hair like that, the white slave traders must be in your blood." And her tone was so mean.

That is such a mean and ignorant thing to say. You can just hear the anger and jealousy in that remark. She should have been fired for making a remark like that--she has no business working with young (and very impressionable) kids.


I usually wear my hair in a braided ponytail. And eventhough it's BSL, I have hair anorexia (when I look at it, it just doesn't seem long to me), so I forget about it. But then I notice a lot of black women looking at it, then I think "I guess it is what people consider long". But after reading these posts, I will defintely watch out for my hair. It's just sad, so sad.

 

[naijamerican]

I've had "long hair" (SL or APL) most of my life and I have and still experience the comments and stares. At one point I was so uncomfortable that I had cut my BSL hair to 2 inches (I know crazy decision)

I still remember when I was in 9th grade, the guidance counselor (a black female) who knew of my Nigerian heritage said to me infront of everyone "you can't be all black with hair like that, the white slave traders must be in your blood." And her tone was so mean.

What?!!! These stories are awful, but the school stories, including this one, take the cake! You can't even feel safe in a school setting!!! And to hear that she attributed your hair to having the White slave traders in your blood? Not only do people think that Black hair can't grow; they also think that all continental Africans have the same kind of hair and that no one's hair could be 3A-3C or even 2! I can't believe the ignorance upon ignorance people rely on to explain away a Black woman's long hair!!!!

 

[cheetarah1980]

I never imagined that people could be so ignorant, catty, and just downright nasty about some hair!! If someone had the nerve to say, "You can't be all black with hair like that, the white slave traders must be in your blood," I would smack the taste out their mouth. That's just beyond insulting.
Unless I wear my hair in an out style that's stretched or have freshly done twists or box braids, most people don't make comments about the length of my hair (I guess shrinkage is a good thing). However, when people do say, "Wow your hair is long!" it's never in a mean or surprised way like I CAN'T grow hair. And honestly, what they see as long I still see as relatively short so I don't think much of the comments. On the occassion that I am asked if it's my hair I just say yes, and keep it moving.
I feel really badly that so many of you have had to deal with so much crap just because your hair is long. It's almost like people think a black woman has no right to long hair. I swear some folks are just sick.

 

[cheetarah1980]

What?!!! These stories are awful, but the school stories, including this one, take the cake! You can't even feel safe in a school setting!!! And to hear that she attributed your hair to having the White slave traders in your blood? Not only do people think that Black hair can't grow; they also think that all continental Africans have the same kind of hair and that no one's hair could be 3A-3C or even 2! I can't believe the ignorance upon ignorance people rely on to explain away a Black woman's long hair!!!!

Hmmm, I think people feel the need to explain away another black woman's long hair so they don't feel inferior. They can feel better telling themselves that the only reason another black chick has long hair is because of mixed ancestry or some other garbage. It allows them to believe that your hair has some type of advantage or is on a higher playing field so a head to head comparison won't make them feel as bad. It's easier than looking at their own hair practices and admitting that maybe they're the reason their hair won't grow.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

YES! I am terrified of this happening to me. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one afraid of this (we appeared to have posted the same thought within minutes of each other! Great minds think alike, lol)

I've heard from others that Atlanta is a tough place to be for BW because there is a real imbalance between the men and women, so the competition for men is fierce and women act crazy.

That's the benefit of wearing hijab, you can choose who sees your beautiful hair. Women who aren't muslim can pin a doily over a bun, that's what I plan to do.

 

[prettypuff1]

I am not really afraid. I cut my hair and we will just be rolling in the dirt fighting.....

 

[Kayluv]

Energist,

You and your hair are absolutely beautiful. Wear your hair with pride and don't let the haters get to you! You have worked hard to get to this point and should enjoy the fruits of your labor.


On another note, may I get your pw to see your album?