Ladies are any of you fearful of...

[mscocoface]

I am not fearful but I get comments from my non black colleagues and for some reason they are really bad from the ladies I work with that are from Atlanta.

I am getting ready for a meeting now where I will see them in SF and I am NOT in the mood to deal with the hair comments. One got right upiddy about my hair at another conference and I had to put her in her place in front of my boss and all of my colleagues.

Yeah, some of this is not your imagination. Some people will be okay and others won't and I have chosen at this time not to use heat on my hair so the longer it gets in its natural state it is causing some eybrows to raise and folks to make comments.

I am ready for them though. It is my hair and it has taken time and work to get it where it is and I am ready to defend it and my choice of how I wear it and style it!

I don't have a poker face so I can say something with my eyes and expressions and not utter a single word. In other words...they don't want a piece of this! Ya feel me!

 

[Lusa]

OMG, where do you come into contact with these sick people??? This is certainly not something I have ever given any thought to nor do I think I will because I don't know of any people that are into other people's business like that. erplexed

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Envy is a mother, and it is sad but true that others will want what you have sooo bad they will try to destroy it. Bmoreflygirl is right, if it's not your hair it will something else, it could be a pair of shoe's you got for $2 at a darn yard sale.

Now a days I only let certain folks see my hair and depending on who's going to be at certain events I just may not remove my hijaab because I don't have time to waking up bald the next day because of envy. I also stopped sharing my ideas of what I want or may do with folks also, because like it was already said if it's not your hair it will be something else.

It's a shame...

ETA: Energist your hair is gorgeous girl, mashaAllaah.

I knew a girl who got her ponytail snipped off in class in grade school. She had 2 pigtails and the girl sitting behind her cut one of them off. Nobody said anything. By the time she found out she just cried and cried and cried. I understand what you're talking about but women will be catty. If it's not your hair, it'll be something else. You can't live your life for other people.

 

[PinkPeony]

Yes there are people that would cut your hair if it is long... I think Mermaid mentioned that this happened to a friend of hers.
However in my eyes that goes far beyond jealousy,IMO there's a big difference between being jealous and assaulting someone.

 

[The Girl]

see I am a homebody so I am cool but my baby is the lil out going one. I really worry about this for her...let her come home with a chopped/gummed/etc ponytail...you would see me on cnn!

 

[Energist]

As the old saying goes "knowledge is power" If a lot of women knew of a site like this or realized that Black hair in any condition can become healthy, beautiful, and long then I think that some of these women wouldn't feel as threatened! There are some young ladies here with DRAMATIC differences and that could make a lot of women who are struggling with their hair hopeful! I'm thinking of making some business cards with vistaprint that says "you too can achieve long beautiful hair" and put the website info down, so that I can give to some approachable girls. The cards are free and they only charge like $8 shipping which isn't a big deal. I think I may do that!

 

[Energist]

double post...

 

[chica_canella]

My mom said this girl in her high school had her hair set on fire from another girl. Man, jealousy has to be eating someone up daily to plan to even do something like that.

It quite sad.

 

[PinkPeony]

As the old saying goes "knowledge is power" If a lot of women knew of a site like this or realized that Black hair in any condition can become healthy, beautiful, and long then I think that some of these women wouldn't feel as threatened! There are some young ladies here with DRAMATIC differences and that could make a lot of women who are struggling with their hair hopeful! I'm thinking of making some business cards with vistaprint that says "you too can achieve long beautiful hair" and put the website info down, so that I can give to some approachable girls. The cards are free and they only charge like $8 shipping which isn't a big deal. I think I may do that!

I thought about doing that for a second but Inever did because eventually this can come back and bite you.
Some people are NOT ready for LHCF,if you hand them a business card they might accuse you of setting them up for a scam(cuz everyone knows blk woman CANT grow hair longinocchio ) or they dismiss you and LHCF as a bunch of fanatics and start talking ish about you.
And even if they believe the hype and their hair still won't grow you will end up as the bad guy with some folks.
I think most people that came here were READY for it,either we were looking for information that would better our hair health or we were plain desperate and at our wits ends like I.
It's not like we are a secret society or anything,all you need to do is type black hair into Google and they will lead you straight to us.If you're really interested and determined to turn your hair around you WILL find LHCF.

Besides I don't WANT everyone and their mama all up in my business

 

[PinkSkates]

You're not alone. If I press my hair bone straight and put it in a ponytail, I get women (and hate to say this but its 99% black women) who have actually pulled on my ponytail as they are telling me "oh your hair is pretty...". Or I'll get "oh look at her features, she must be mixed with something. And of course I've had women try and run their fingers thru my hair. WTH . It really makes me sad that so many black women choose to be envious of another black woman's hair, when all thay have to do is pick up a book and educate themselves on how to care for and grow their own hair. Then they could stop playing the hair haters game. Its really sad.

 

[secretdiamond]

double post..

 

[chica_canella]

You're not alone. If I press my hair bone straight and put it in a ponytail, I get women (and hate to say this but its 99% black women) who have actually pulled on my ponytail as they are telling me "oh your hair is pretty...". Or I'll get "oh look at her features, she must be mixed with something. And of course I've had women try and run their fingers thru my hair. WTH . It really makes me sad that so many black women choose to be envious of another black woman's hair, when all thay have to do is pick up a book and educate themselves on how to care for and grow their own hair. Then they could stop playing the hair haters game. Its really sad.

You know that is really sad. I'm so sorry that this has happened because your hair looks real, regardless if it didn't no one has the right to invade another person's space.

But some black women aren't open to expanding their horizon's and notions about what it means to be black, period. That's why every women won't have long hair; it's not that they can't but if they don't want to take the sacrafices along that come along with long hair then they will keep what they have always had. Unhealthy hair.

 

[secretdiamond]

other women becoming envious of your hair as it grows longer? I live in an area of Oklahoma where a lot of Black women don't take care of their hair to the point that they will look at my hair and search for a weave track What makes it worse, is that White and Native people over here are convinced that Black hair doesn't grow, to where they will stare at my hair and search for a track as well. It's either that or they assume you're not all Black! I personally think it's ridiculous, because I still feel that my hair is in the baby stages of getting long, compared to many women on this board and would wonder what some of these women would do if they saw some of the head of hair on you ladies. Anyways, sometimes I feel self conscious about wearing my hair out and worry about how I'll feel when it gets longer. I think I feel this way, because a female almost tried to burn my friends hair off with a lighter in a club many years ago out of jealousy, because she had wavy beautiful long hair and was getting a lot of attention. If I didn't catch the girl, my friends hair would have gone up in flames. I think about this from time to time. I wonder if there is a price to pay for achieving long and beautiful healthy hair

Anyways, I'd like to be happy about my progress without feeling self conscious about it, but I don't know how. I smile and try to be friendly out of nerves, but I don't always get a smile in return. Am I making sense to you ladies?? Do any of you go through these fears or am I being irrational?

Do you know I'm fearful of this too! Whenever I wear my hair out (even if it's a pony) and I'm around a lot of black females (particularly younger ones/teens), I actually get nervous b/c of the way they start looking at me. My worse nightmare is that one of them will cut my hair off without me knowing! They look like hyenas ready to attack!.......... I'm so paranoid. lol.

 

[chica_canella]

Do you know I'm fearful of this too! Whenever I wear my hair out (even if it's a pony) and I'm around a lot of black females (particularly younger ones/teens), I actually get nervous b/c of the way they start looking at me. My worse nightmare is that one of them will cut my hair off without me knowing! They look like hyenas ready to attack!.......... I'm so paranoid. lol.

I wouldn't say you are experiencing paranoia but I would say that if someone is giving you odd looks you should watch out!

 

[amwcah]

My sister deals with this all the time. People come up to her wanting to touch her hair and look for tracks. Once I achieved my WSL hair, I certaintly won't be fearful. People can point and stare all they want, but just don't touch.

BTW~I get harrassed(yes, harrassed) all the time by people wanting to quiz me on my 2 year old twin girls. First, they ask me if they are twins like they can't visually see that and the list goes on, and on. I can never go out in public in peace. Sometimes is okay, but ALL THE TIME is not.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

OMG these are some scary stories!

My hair is usually up so when I bun I don't have to worry about it as much. Things like this make you apprehensive about wearing your hair down ya know?

 

[deejoy]

Slightly. I had long hair in elementary school, high school, and college. I had some hair hateration in elementary when someone cut a piece of my hair off. Then I had to deal with the "is yo hair a weave"? questions in high school and college. I'm hoping now that I'm older I wont have to go through that. But I live in the hood so you never know.

 

[SandySea]

First, you and your hair are lovely. Don't be afraid to be what you are, because there will always be haters. Women have a real tendency to be jealous of anything that their insecure about, whether hair, skin, figure, education, etc. Just enjoy your blessings, including your hair. Try not to concentrate on the hate that you receive, but try to think about the positive. I'm sure you will get plenty of compliments along with the hate, and you'll have lots of opportunities to inspire and help someone else with good hair advice.

 

[FineChyna]

one thing i have learned is that people are digusting and will hate on you for any ole reason-whether you have long hair, are pretty, well dressed, have a great figure...it NEVER ends.

All i can say is watch your back and your hair since you never know. it's a sad world we live.

Energist -you and your hair is very pretty

 

[locabouthair]

I thought about doing that for a second but Inever did because eventually this can come back and bite you.
Some people are NOT ready for LHCF,if you hand them a business card they might accuse you of setting them up for a scam(cuz everyone knows blk woman CANT grow hair longinocchio ) or they dismiss you and LHCF as a bunch of fanatics and start talking ish about you.
And even if they believe the hype and their hair still won't grow you will end up as the bad guy with some folks.
I think most people that came here were READY for it,either we were looking for information that would better our hair health or we were plain desperate and at our wits ends like I.
It's not like we are a secret society or anything,all you need to do is type black hair into Google and they will lead you straight to us.If you're really interested and determined to turn your hair around you WILL find LHCF.

Besides I don't WANT everyone and their mama all up in my business

exactly. if people really want to see some changes in their hair then will do some research. it's 2007 most people go on the internet if they are having a medical problem, or even if it's a problem with their skin. i decided I wanted healthy hair and I knew I could find info on the net. so yes as our race is miseducated as to how t take care of our hair but if they really wanted it they would search.

 

[FineChyna]

exactly. if people really want to see some changes in their hair then will do some research. it's 2007 most people go on the internet if they are having a medical problem, or even if it's a problem with their skin. i decided I wanted healthy hair and I knew I could find info on the net. so yes as our race is miseducated as to how t take care of our hair but if they really wanted it they would search.

basically it is easier to HATE and bring people down than to do the work yourself. some people have such hatred and low selfesteem i don't even think they can help themselves. its like they are mentally ill or something.

 

[Energist]

I thought about doing that for a second but Inever did because eventually this can come back and bite you.
Some people are NOT ready for LHCF,if you hand them a business card they might accuse you of setting them up for a scam(cuz everyone knows blk woman CANT grow hair longinocchio ) or they dismiss you and LHCF as a bunch of fanatics and start talking ish about you.
And even if they believe the hype and their hair still won't grow you will end up as the bad guy with some folks.
I think most people that came here were READY for it,either we were looking for information that would better our hair health or we were plain desperate and at our wits ends like I.
It's not like we are a secret society or anything,all you need to do is type black hair into Google and they will lead you straight to us.If you're really interested and determined to turn your hair around you WILL find LHCF.

Besides I don't WANT everyone and their mama all up in my business

You know what, you're right! I never thought of all of that and I agree. I found this site after doing a few searches and yes it was because I was ready to meet others who were on this journey! Yeah, they should know that they can find anything on the net, so I'll leave it to them.

 

[FineChyna]

energist you are very pretty and so is your hair. people are just being envious of you because they think you have something they can't have. but the truth is you worked hard for your hair and they can too

 

[CAPlush]

Wow! All I have to say is, just wow...

 

[Energist]

awww thank you :Blush2: and to all who have given me compliments here. It's hard for me to even take compliments graciously, because honestly I feel ashamed and this is NO JOKE! But I appreciate all of you and the support that you all offer!

 

[***Toy-Pisces***]

other women becoming envious of your hair as it grows longer? I live in an area of Oklahoma where a lot of Black women don't take care of their hair to the point that they will look at my hair and search for a weave track What makes it worse, is that White and Native people over here are convinced that Black hair doesn't grow, to where they will stare at my hair and search for a track as well. It's either that or they assume you're not all Black! I personally think it's ridiculous, because I still feel that my hair is in the baby stages of getting long, compared to many women on this board and would wonder what some of these women would do if they saw some of the head of hair on you ladies. Anyways, sometimes I feel self conscious about wearing my hair out and worry about how I'll feel when it gets longer. I think I feel this way, because a female almost tried to burn my friends hair off with a lighter in a club many years ago out of jealousy, because she had wavy beautiful long hair and was getting a lot of attention. If I didn't catch the girl, my friends hair would have gone up in flames. I think about this from time to time. I wonder if there is a price to pay for achieving long and beautiful healthy hair

Anyways, I'd like to be happy about my progress without feeling self conscious about it, but I don't know how. I smile and try to be friendly out of nerves, but I don't always get a smile in return. Am I making sense to you ladies?? Do any of you go through these fears or am I being irrational?

In reference to the bolded:

Do they search for a track literally or are you talking about visually??? I wish someone would touch my hair with out my permission!

After reading this thread I will be sure to watch out for hair hating heffas, when ever my hair gets long enough for haters! I'm use to haters and I experience haters now because of my body figure. (mainly my butt)Sometimes it's annoying and it use to piss me off because some people act like they never have seen anyone with a nice shape and a big butt!!! I've seen plenty of women with big butts and nice shapes so I don't know why some people act like they haven't.

I seriously doubt that someone will be BOLD enough to cut my hair! (I'll put a look on my face that says: Don't f**K with me!!!)

 

[GoldenBreeze]

I'm so sorry this happened to your friend . I'm glad I didn't have the length of hair I do now in HS (which would be considered longish where I come from). Girls are so freaking petty! This right here is my worse hair fear. At least with gum, depending on how high up it's stuck, I could try to get it out without losing too much length. But scissors or fire?!

I had to deal with the gum issue as a little girl. My mom took it out by hardening it with ice cubes. It was pretty easy, and I didn't lose any hair, but the girl that did it had a black eye from me slamming her in the face with my math book. For some odd reason I didn't have anymore hair issues at school.

As an adult, I haven't had any problems so far. I've had the occasional "your hair looks pretty", "is that a relaxer", or "is that your hair", but nothing more than that. I'm aware that there are some jealous people out there, but I would definetly have someone brought up on assault charges for any cutting, burning, or acid throwing craziness. erplexed

 

[***Toy-Pisces***]

I had to deal with the gum issue as a little girl. My mom took it out by hardening it with ice cubes. It was pretty easy, and I didn't lose any hair, but the girl that did it had a black eye from me slamming her in the face with my math book. For some odd reason I didn't have anymore hair issues at school.

As an adult, I haven't had any problems so far. I've had the occasional "your hair looks pretty", "is that a relaxer", or "is that your hair", but nothing more than that. I'm aware that there are some jealous people out there, but I would definetly have someone brought up on assault charges for any cutting, burning, or acid throwing craziness. erplexed

LOL!!!

 

[cheetarah1980]

I've never really thought about this in terms of females hating on my hair. When I wear my fro out, the people who are usually asking me all types of questions about whether or not it's all mine are men. I guess I just don't think other females are looking at me that tough. I'll admire a nice head of hair in heartbeat, but I won't get jealous and angry over another woman having a great head of hair.
I never considered my hair to be long when it was relaxed, however I was occassionally asked if my hair was a wig or weave due to its thickness. I didn't take offense and I don't think I'll take offense as my natural hair gets even longer. Actually I take it as a compliment because it must mean my hair is looking really nice.
My point is, you can't worry about what other people think of you and your hair. All you can do is make your hair as healthy and gorgeous as possible and flaunt it cause you earned the right to. If haters wanna hate, then let 'em.

 

[mscocoface]

As the old saying goes "knowledge is power" If a lot of women knew of a site like this or realized that Black hair in any condition can become healthy, beautiful, and long then I think that some of these women wouldn't feel as threatened! There are some young ladies here with DRAMATIC differences and that could make a lot of women who are struggling with their hair hopeful! I'm thinking of making some business cards with vistaprint that says "you too can achieve long beautiful hair" and put the website info down, so that I can give to some approachable girls. The cards are free and they only charge like $8 shipping which isn't a big deal. I think I may do that!

You know I was going to create a Tshirt with this type of information but a card with comparison shots would be much better. I think that is a great idea.