Just Feeling Down. Sorry.

[Zuleika]

He has not served me with papers. He just got up this morning and started packing because I do not want him to touch me. I know this is TMI. But if I keep talking for this minute I will not do what I really want to do...

I thought you were still in hospital? Are you back home or was he visiting?

It seems he's having a hard time coping with your depression, which is understable because he's only human. Does he have someone, perhaps a therapist to help him vent and cope? Obviously I don't have all the facts and I am only going by the information you've provided but you've been away for a month (longer?) and he misses you. You not allowing him to touch him probably hurt his feelings and maybe he overreacted.

I am not excusing his actions, just playing devil's advocate.

 

[Ganjababy]

Still in hospital. Out for the weekend. Going back in a couple hours. I think

I thought you were still in hospital? Are you back home or was he visiting?

 

[FlowerHair]

I'm sorry to hear that. But you have to focus on yourself right now.

 

[Ganjababy]

I will be okay. I need to get a life geez!

 

[Zuleika]

I need to get a life geez!

You've got one. There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable and venting your feelings and thoughts.

 

[hopeful]

I will be okay. I need to get a life geez!

How much more time do you have to be in the hospital? Go back and focus solely on your healing. Work through everything with your doctors and therapists. You already have a life. You just need support and help, and you are getting that.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Do you have to leave for weekend passes? Can you just stay there and focus solely on your healing?

 

[Ganjababy]

I can but I get paranoid and wonder what he is doing

Part of me wishes he would cheat so I can leave him. But part of me is terrified that he will. We are supposed to go to marriage counseling. He also agreed to go to counseling on his own. But at this point we are both fed up of each other and the dislike is growing...

I get intensive individual and group therapy everyday during the week...

Do you have to leave for weekend passes? Can you just stay there and focus solely on your healing?

 

[hopeful]

Perhaps the weekend passes are setting you back? If he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat. You only have control of you. I know it's hard to let go of everything and everyone and just focus on you. I get it. But nothing will change until you heal the most important, precious, valuable person to you -- YOU. Honestly nothing else matters if you aren't well.

 

[lesedi]

I think it's too fresh and raw for you to see light and shade in the situation. Both of you sound hurt...and it sounds like both of you feel vulnerable and abandoned too. If he has agreed to go to marriage counselling, I think it will be really beneficial for you to go, even if it is just to answer some questions you may have.

 

[hopeful]

The Journey
By Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life that you could save.

 

[lesedi]

The Journey
By Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life that you could save.

I can't stop reading this.

 

[hopeful]

I can't stop reading this.

Isn't it beautiful? Touches something in your soul.

 

[lesedi]

Isn't it beautiful? Touches something in your soul.

Hauntingly beautiful....

 

[NOEChic]

@Ganjababy how ya doing?

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Hugs @Ganjababy love & light. You're healing is very important. Please make this a priority.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

The Journey ..... Deep

@hopeful

 

[Ganjababy]

Much better. Thanks.

@Ganjababy how ya doing?

I am just concentrating on getting better. I told him to do him.

 

[NOEChic]

Much better. Thanks.

I am just concentrating on getting better. I told him to do him.

Take care of yourself

 

[DarkJoy]

 

[ArrrBeee]

Thinking of you @Ganjababy. Rest, recover and heal.