"It's Okay To Be Single"...Is That Just Something Unhappy Single Ppl Say??

[ebonylocs]

I have always had an issue when my single friends would say "girl it's okay to be single, enjoy your single life" and all that other stuff. Well I noticed married people aren't saying that, the ones who have found a true companion aren't going around telling singles to stay single which leads me to think that this phrase "its okay to be single" is only said to make single people that can't find anyone, feel better about their situation.

To the bold: Really??? I see that you are a relative newbie to the board. Hang around long enough (or just check old threads on marriage) and you will see that there is no shortage of married women (including happily married ones) telling single women to chill and enjoy their singlehood, or even saying they wouldn't marry again if given the option. In fact I even remember one thread where it caused a conflict because some of the marriage-minded single ladies (I remember Bunny77) said they objected to married people telling them that "marriage wasn't all that" when said married people had at least had the opportunity to experience both states, whereas the single ladies were being asked to take their word for it.

Also, keep in mind that "It's okay to be single" doesn't necessarily mean "Stay single." It just means it's okay to be single. Just like it's okay to be married. It's just another state of being. I don't even understand why people feel the need to point that out.

ProfectivGirl - I think the single friends say that because they simply enjoy meeting, dating, kicking it, or hooking up with different men. Some single women may not care to find "the one" and love the single life.

But I'm a one man woman. I don't enjoy that, and it looks like you don't either. And your friends apparently do not understand that. Some may think it's cool, makes them look good, or shows that they can pick up several men, but I don't care nor want to be known for being with several men in casual relationships.

I think you are really taking it to the lowest common denominator if you ascribe a woman's enjoyment of singlehood to her enjoying being free to hook up with several men. Many enjoy the freedom to travel, pursue their career unhindered, develop skills and hobbies, or even basic things like simply having their houses to themselves or not having to account to or consult with anyone.

 

[Poohbear]

I think you are really taking it to the lowest common denominator if you ascribe a woman's enjoyment of singlehood to her enjoying being free to hook up with several men. Many enjoy the freedom to travel, pursue their career unhindered, develop skills and hobbies, or even basic things like simply having their houses to themselves or not having to account to or consult with anyone.

ebonylocs

I was NOT saying that being free to hook up with several men was the only enjoyment for a woman's singlehood. You're taking my post out of context. OF COURSE a single woman can enjoy the "freedom to travel, pursue their career unhindered, develop skills and hobbies, or even basic things like simply having their houses to themselves or not having to account to or consult with anyone"...and MORE! I wasn't denying that in my post. Personally, I would ascribe a woman's enjoyment of singlehood to these things you listed, not hooking up with several men. I just know that there ARE women out there that enjoy hooking up with several men. I wasn't saying this was true for ALL single women.

And by the way, women can enjoy these very same things as a married woman too, just depends on the situation and the man they are married to.

 

[ebonylocs]

ebonylocs
I was NOT saying that being free to hook up with several men was the only enjoyment for a woman's singlehood. You're taking my post out of context...

Well, I didn't make it up. What you said was this:

ProfectivGirl - I think the single friends say that BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY ENJOY MEETING, DATING, KICKING IT, OR HOOKING UP WITH DIFFERENT MEN. Some single women may not care to find "the one" and love the single life.

My point is that the "because..." in your statement could instead be followed by all the things I listed, which have NOTHING to do with meeting, dating or hooking up with different men.

Then you continued:

But I'm a one man woman. I don't enjoy that, and it looks like you don't either. And your friends apparently do not understand that. Some may think it's cool, makes them look good, or shows that they can pick up several men, but I don't care nor want to be known for being with several men in casual relationships.

You strongly imply that ladies who think it's okay to be single do so because, unlike you, they are not "one-man women", but instead are "multiple-men women". Not true.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

That's funny lol, because most of the people who tell me to "enjoy your singleness" or "stay single" are all married!! Some in happy marriages.....some....not.

But usually my single girl friends are the LAST to say "girl, it's okay to be single" or "being single is the best thing since sliced bread!" No, most of the time we're all in the same boat and wanting to be in a relationship lol.

But honestly, these days I say just be HAPPY in whatever state you happen to find yourself in at the current moment. I think when people say "be happy that you're single" I think that all they really are meaning to say is that you should just be HAPPY regardless of what state you're in at the moment.

Don't continue to live life constantly in want for something else that you dont' have at the current moment. Your life can always change in an instant, but living most of your life being unhappy due to your state is no way to live.

 

[Poohbear]

Well, I didn't make it up. What you said was this:
My point is that the "because..." in your statement could instead be followed by all the things I listed, which have NOTHING to do with meeting, dating or hooking up with different men.

Then you continued:

You strongly imply that ladies who think it's okay to be single do so because, unlike you, they are not "one-man women", but instead are "multiple-men women". Not true.

ebonylocs,

Of course my post didn't list the things you listed because I was only focusing on one thing with my post which was single women and men. Not everything else that comes with being single. The OP questioned what happened to partnership, love, etc? So that made me touch on single women being with men.

And I didn't strongly imply anything. My quote STILL doesn't say that hooking up with several men is the ultimate enjoyment of woman singlehood for ALL single women.

And I did not say that women who say "its ok to be single" are not one man women. You are twisting my words. Did you even see my last part of my initial post where I said some single women may be unhappy if they want a serious relationship and can't land one?

I've come to the conclusion that you're just making out my post to what you want it to be. I'm trying to tell you different so you could understand but you are still adamant about forcing your interpretation of my post on me.

Sent from my PG06100 using PG06100

 

[ProfectivGirl]

Wow I am loving the posts right now! Great advice ladies!! I understand this whole "enjoy being single" thing alot better, and to answer someone's post, yes I am a newbie I was just referring to all of the married people in my life that haven't told me that. It's always been my single friends that do go out with every guy they meet, then get upset and talk about how they hate relationships, and how being single is better when the dates dont work out.

Sent from My Android

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

That's funny lol, because most of the people who tell me to "enjoy your singleness" or "stay single" are all married!! Some in happy marriages.....some....not.

But usually my single girl friends are the LAST to say "girl, it's okay to be single" or "being single is the best thing since sliced bread!" No, most of the time we're all in the same boat and wanting to be in a relationship lol.

But honestly, these days I say just be HAPPY in whatever state you happen to find yourself in at the current moment. I think when people say "be happy that you're single" I think that all they really are meaning to say is that you should just be HAPPY regardless of what state you're in at the moment.

Don't continue to live life constantly in want for something else that you dont' have at the current moment. Your life can always change in an instant, but living most of your life being unhappy due to your state is no way to live.

The bolded is really what it's all about. I think someone else mentioned not wasting your single years bemoaning your single status. I soooo WISH I had not done that for so long. By the time I stopped, I met my DH six months later (I had a fun six months) and there was no turning back. Looking back now my only regret is that I didn't fill those hours of angst and worrying about who wasn't calling and who I wasn't meeting with higher pursuits, travel plans, and hobbies I'll never have the time to explore now!