It's not you, it's me

[anon123]

Have you ever felt it's really true for you? That it's not him, it's you? That he would be a good partner for you, but you might not be the best thing for him, in whatever way?

We talk a lot on this forum how to weed out guys that don't fit our criteria. But what if you don't fit his? Were you weeded out? What if he's not playing by "the rules" for himself, would you weed yourself out (leave him)?

 

[envybeauty]

I have been there. I have left relationships (or sabotaged) them when I felt like the man deserved that which I could not offer.

I did what I would have wanted done for me. If a person feels like he is not the best person for me, then move on so I can meet a better man. Don't stick around hoping you'll change into this great person for me, when you know it is not likely. It's ok to say ...'Maybe there is someone better out there for you and I hope you meet her/him.'

Each scenario is different and requires time to make that decision.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

It's been true for me before. We were wildly attracted to each other, had common interests and beliefs. Our relationship just scratched the surface over the few months we were seeing each other. Nothing went 'wrong' with us but I got to a point where I did not want to continue and told him. He was a catch but timing wasn't on our side. I felt he'd be better off with someone else and knew I would find someone more fitting when the time was right. I wasn't ready for a relationship, so in our conversation when I ended it, the gist of it was "It's not you, it's me". He was so understanding. The best breakup ever, and we've communicated since. No love lost.

 

[tiara76]

plenty of times.....meet alot of great guys, just not great for me on the levels they want to be on and I feel if I'm not in it 100% they deserve somebody who is and i deserve somebody who Im totally into....lots of men are willing to settle for what they can get and i can't even be the one to let them do that...if they don't think they deserve to have it all, then at least i do and I don't like leading people on....i'd rather let them go then to hold on to them out of selfish reasons, esp if they can't handle any other type of relationship other than the one they want

 

[anon123]

Thanks for all the stories.

 

[anon123]

I have been there. I have left relationships (or sabotaged) them when I felt like the man deserved that which I could not offer.

I did what I would have wanted done for me. If a person feels like he is not the best person for me, then move on so I can meet a better man. Don't stick around hoping you'll change into this great person for me, when you know it is not likely. It's ok to say ...'Maybe there is someone better out there for you and I hope you meet her/him.'

Each scenario is different and requires time to make that decision.

This is actually the particular thing I was thinking of. So not so much that one person isn't ready to be in a committed relationship. But rather that you feel you don't meet the other person's needs and wants in a partner.

 

[Lucie]

Deleted...

 

[lux10023]

yes if I met a guy and realized I didn’t want to hurt him or bullish him—I would let him go-
my worst fear has always been ruining a guys faith in woman—I don’t want to be the camel that broke that back
I use to always meet the husband material guys when I was out “doin the most” aka bein a play girl—so I would always say its not the right time for us right now
But the good thing is I let them go—some came back and a great one came back my FH

But I would not be with someone knowing damn well I am not serious esp if they are a “good guy”—because their future wife could be out there and im ova here playin games

 

[a_g_doren]

yes if I met a guy and realized I didn’t want to hurt him or bullish him—I would let him go-
my worst fear has always been ruining a guys faith in woman—I don’t want to be the camel that broke that back
I use to always meet the husband material guys when I was out “doin the most” aka bein a play girl—so I would always say its not the right time for us right now
But the good thing is I let them go—some came back and a great one came back my FH

But I would not be with someone knowing damn well I am not serious esp if they are a “good guy”—because their future wife could be out there and im ova here playin games

To bad everyone doesn't think like this.