"It's not official until it's facebook official!"

[EllePixie]

When I was dating my ex in college, we both had our relationship statuses up - when we broke up 4 years later (out of college), I had all kinds of people hitting me up trying to get the tea. It pissed me off, because these were people I rarely even spoke to, so after that I took my relationship status off and kept it off - it didn't even say single. Fast forward a few yrs, I had a new bf, and he had our status up on Facebook, and encouraged me to do the same. I told him no, I did not have a status up AT ALL, because it was no one's business, and if you are a person who speaks to me on a regular basis or if you ask, I will tell you. I wasn't going to change it to "in a relationship" lookin' like I was all kinds of thirsty and bragging that I had a man.

Well, he didn't like this answer, and his feelings were hurt that I wouldn't put it up - he would monitor my Facebook page and question me about every man that wrote on my wall or commented on one of my statuses. He thought that every man who communicated with me was secretly hitting on me, and that saying I was taken would squash all of that noise. I found it EXTREMELY immature and it was a huge RED FLAG for me. He even checked to see who tweeted at me. Couldn't take it. So yea no, my relationship statuses are not relayed via social media unless I am communicating with my SO via one of these outlets and I call him babe or something.

 

[ThickHair]

Facebook does not define you, no, but I don't see why people go on and on with the anti facebook and still have a damn page...go back to the old school way and email or call. You can still keep in touch

It apparently does define some people because if relationship status isn't listed they really trip.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Right now I know someone folks like this. ALLLLL her profile pictures are with him and her in them. She also has "in a relationship"

HE has absolutely NO pics of her on his fb, just him, his buddies and his family and he does not have ANY relationship status. I have to admit, I do give the side eye to that. Plus I know how he is...he tried to talk to me at a club once (trying to get at me through his brother who's my best friend's boyfriend) and I shut him DOWN.

 

[snillohsss]

Right now I know someone folks like this. ALLLLL her profile pictures are with him and her in them. She also has "in a relationship"

HE has absolutely NO pics of her on his fb, just him, his buddies and his family and he does not have ANY relationship status. I have to admit, I do give the side eye to that. Plus I know how he is...he tried to talk to me at a club once (trying to get at me through his brother who's my best friend's boyfriend) and I shut him DOWN.

Did he try to get at you while he was dating your friend?

 

[ChasingBliss]

Did he try to get at you while he was dating your friend?

LOL, I'm sorry I realize I was not clear. I saw that particular guy in a club, I was with my best friend and her boyfriend who happens to be his brother. When he saw me, he asked his brother--my bestfriend's boyfriend to hook him up...over a very short period of time it came out that he had a girlfriend. When I became facebook friends with his brother, I was able to see both his and his gf's pages.

 

[UrbainChic]

I wasn't going to change it to "in a relationship" lookin' like I was all kinds of thirsty and bragging that I had a man.

That's exactly how I feel!

 

[EllePixie]

That's exactly how I feel!

Yep. Sorry, but putting your relationship status up is like ASKING people to laugh at you unless you are in it for the long haul - I think I would have to be dating someone for at least 6 months to even consider putting it up. I know this one dude who had like the WORST pic of him and his gf up...they were like laying on a beach and kissing...I was like wtf is this bullish...save that for your personal photo album...status up, everything. Two weeks later, pic was gone, status was changed...every single pic he had with the chick was deleted. I was like womp womp sad fizzle. Way to jump the gun bucko.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Yeah, sometimes when my FB friends excitedly change their status to 'in a relationship' it makes me pity them. But, then, I'm a little mean sometimes. lol

 

[Aviah]

On both our pages we left it out. The people who know us know we're together. People who know him and I separately know as well. I'd only feel a way about it if it said single, because that's not true. My pet peeve status is in a relationship with/ its complicated/ its complicated with. Nah, too much. I might put married up there when I am, but even that I don't care too much for.

It really is just facebook, and the purpose for me is to communicate with those I already know- therefore they should know about me and I don't have to put it on my page, if they don't they may just end up getting deleted because we don't speak anyway...

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

This might be slightly to the left but I noticed that the kiddies on FB have "FB husbands/wives" meaning people they are not in a "real" relationship with but claim them on FB?! WTH. So weird. Kinda reminds me of people claiming siblings with no blood ties

 

[anon123]

This is what I am saying all that private person yada, yada- whatever! Nobody is going to come stalk you if you say your in a relationship so what is there is hide.

Facebook does not define you, no, but I don't see why people go on and on with the anti facebook and still have a damn page...go back to the old school way and email or call. You can still keep in touch

Lastly, choose your real friends to communicate with. If your that damn private, why accept friends you dont want in your business.

For networking purposes, I joined FB (as a prof wanted to introduce me to a Google contact through FB). And for work politics reasons, I had to accept friend requests from coworkers and colleagues. All the same, there are some aspects of work that I like to keep separate from personal life. Unlike for many, then, FB is how I connect (if need be) with people who I don't know very well. People who I know well, I talk to in other ways. So no, I don't need people I don't know very well involved in any way in my personal life.

I have no relationship status on FB and hardly check it anyway.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

This might be slightly to the left but I noticed that the kiddies on FB have "FB husbands/wives" meaning people they are not in a "real" relationship with but claim them on FB?! WTH. So weird. Kinda reminds me of people claiming siblings with no blood ties

When FB was brand new, I noticed that a lot of girls would think it was cute to have their best friend as spouse. Like Kayle Jones is married to Felecia Smith, and then write on each other's walls like, "hey, wife, how are ya!?"

 

[EllePixie]

When FB was brand new, I noticed that a lot of girls would think it was cute to have their best friend as spouse. Like Kayle Jones is married to Felecia Smith, and then write on each other's walls like, "hey, wife, how are ya!?"

To me that's better than being obsessed over having your actual SO on there...it's just for giggles. I was thinking of changing my profile to say I'm in a relationship with my hair.

 

[Priss Pot]

I don't see the problem with relationship statuses on FB, as long as they aren't changing every 5 minutes.

My SO and I have never had problems linking to each other, and when we got engaged we changed the status to "Engaged."

Now, I have had 2 of his female friends from school/organizations admit to me that upon befriending him on FB that they immediately stalked my page to see who I was and what I looked like, etc erplexed. Ummmmm, yeah. But then they saw my make-up and hair albums and wanted to ask me for tips. He'd be like, "yeah so and so wants to know if you can help her with her make-up application." I'm like, "who? me and so 'n so aren't friends on FB so how does she know?" People will definitely get nosey in that sense to find out who somebody is with. But it comes with the territory of putting it on FB in the first place.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

this is some juvenile crap if I must say so myself... I c ould see i you were married... Umpfhhhh outta here...

 

[MD_Lady]

My response to the whole relationship status issue (as it relates to someone with an acutal title) would depend on what kind of page he has. If he hardly posted any personal or identifying information about himself, not posting a relationship status wouldn't faze me. However, if his life was an open book, but he all of a sudden got about his relationship status, I'd have to because I'd think he was being extra. IMO, disclosing your relationship status doesn't bring people into your business, disclosing your business brings people into your business.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

When FB was brand new, I noticed that a lot of girls would think it was cute to have their best friend as spouse. Like Kayle Jones is married to Felecia Smith, and then write on each other's walls like, "hey, wife, how are ya!?"

Yep, I'm tired of seeing this too. Especially if you're 18+ .. it's like really? Unless you're a true lezban then what's the point?

 

[curlycoquette]

I think it's nonsense.

 

[Raspberry]

Yep. Sorry, but putting your relationship status up is like ASKING people to laugh at you unless you are in it for the long haul - I think I would have to be dating someone for at least 6 months to even consider putting it up. I know this one dude who had like the WORST pic of him and his gf up...they were like laying on a beach and kissing...I was like wtf is this bullish...save that for your personal photo album...status up, everything. Two weeks later, pic was gone, status was changed...every single pic he had with the chick was deleted. I was like womp womp sad fizzle. Way to jump the gun bucko.

I had a female relative who traveled to the UK to meet some guy from the internet, stayed there for three weeks and got engaged , showed the pics of him and the ring, changed her status a few times and gushed about her man being sent from God.. A few weeks later she tells me they broke up cause she caught him in some lies, she's been real quiet on Facebook lol.

The situation was def. unfortunate but she def jumped the gun with all that FB posting.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Well if you are dating someone and they remain single and seeking women on FB, you're relationship may be in trouble. I don't keep a status. However when I was seeing someone I noticed they kept a single and seeking status.

The relationship is now over.

If you are going to be in a relationship, do it all the way. Claim the person! If you both decide you want to keep your relationship private on social networks, then don't keep a status at all. Even if you think the internet thing is silly and "don't take it serious," you won't think it's silly when you get a notification that your boyfriend is leaving flirtatious messages on another woman's wall.

And then again, I know a few people with their status as "in a relationship" and it doesnt stop them from cheating. Right now, I have my status as "in a domestic partnership" as a joke but i normally dont have my status show on my facebook at all. my friends know if im in a relationship or not. i dont need to let everyone know.

 

[Charz]

We both have our statuses hidden. I do not need everyone all up in my business. My profile is not searchable and most things including my friends are hidden.

I don't need to be "claimed" on Facebook to feel validated.

 

[Naijaqueen]

After my last relationship yrs ago, where I had only 1 pic of my bf and I in a fb album (had to deactivate to "quietly" remove it and remove status option so it wouldnt show up, I decided against it. Actually my friends and I did, so with my hubby, I didnt put anything on fb, when we got engaged I waited a little bit before putting it up. Folks didnt know when wedding date was till I put up wedding website 2wks b4 wedding.
At 800+ fb friends, its noone's business, the ones that needed to know, knew when it happened. Many of my friends/relatives now only bother when they get married, and I totally approve. I've had friends with "in a relationship" for years and some days I'd log on and think wow get rid of that, you are almost 40, 10 yrs of "dating", like really.

 

[DrC]

I noticed it is just Facebook until the 2 break up and start blasting each other, directly/indirectly and start leaving uplifting quotes of how they are independent and don't need anyone in their lives; taking pics with other people and such. mkay.

Ahh the wonderful and strange ways of social networking.

 

[LiftedUp]

I prefer if we both kept our relationship status off of facebook, single or otherwise.

That's part of our lives that don't need to be on cyberspace? Why because it's personal and I'm a private about my private life.

People are taking facebook way too far and quite serious. It's just a means of networking and keeping in touch for me.

 

[lilsparkle825]

I am generally not a fan of people flaunting their relationship -- you know, the girls whose status permanently reads "I LOVE MY BABY, he is the light of my life " and their picture is of both of them ALL the time, like she has no life outside of talking about her SO. It's one thing to talk about him and things you do together because he's a part of your life....it's another to forsake everything else because you've met him. I also hate the people who have an argument and change their status....then a few days later it's back to in a rlp....then a few days later "it's complicated"....then your status becomes something like what DrC said about being independent and happy, then it's something about how much the trials and tribulations make y'all stronger as a couple. (I actually have a few friends like this, so I apologize if I seem salty. )

Anyone else have friends who need to "like" or comment on every status update? I giggle when my news feed says 'Mary Jones is single' and 3 guys like it, then her BFF comments "it's about time!" Well dang, guess y'all didn't think it was gonna last, huh?

My SO is a private person, and there is lots that is not on his Facebook page -- he basically uses it to keep in contact with people from home (New Jersey) and friends from the Air Force. Because he is private, it didn't bother me when we first started dating and he didn't want to put a relationship status. Before I met him I had "single" hidden anyway, because I was tired of losers from high school sending me "ayo shawty" messages

After a month or so of dating, I changed my status to "in a relationship". It didn't bother me that his status was still hidden, because I knew he would talk about me to all his friends and family members and I'm secure but after a trip to the beach, his profile pic actually became a pic we took together on the boardwalk, something that flattered me a lot and actually shocked me a little. I don't go on his Facebook page a lot (we were FB friends before we began dating, and I wasn't gonna "defriend" him, LOL) so I don't know when it happened, but one day I noticed he was showing his relationship status as well. Almost a year later, we are not linked to each other (it just says "in a relationship") but we have plenty of pics of each other, just by virtue of the fact that we're always together and we document our trips and dates with cameras. If/when we get engaged, I don't know yet if I will update to "engaged" and link him, or just wait until after I am married.

 

[DrC]

I am generally not a fan of people flaunting their relationship -- you know, the girls whose status permanently reads "I LOVE MY BABY, he is the light of my life " and their picture is of both of them ALL the time, like she has no life outside of talking about her SO. It's one thing to talk about him and things you do together because he's a part of your life....it's another to forsake everything else because you've met him.

Ugh, I see that time to time with couples. They even update their facebook status every 20 seconds with a new picture, new pet names, claiming they "Ride or Die" for their partner, sending a shout out to all the "ho's'" to back off of their man blah blah blah. I honestly agree that they do not have a life outside of their relationship.


I also hate the people who have an argument and change their status....then a few days later it's back to in a rlp....then a few days later "it's complicated"....then your status becomes something like what DrC said about being independent and happy, then it's something about how much the trials and tribulations make y'all stronger as a couple. (I actually have a few friends like this, so I apologize if I seem salty. )

Lets not forget all the Groups and pages they join after a breakup like "I'm An Independent Bch" and such
I watched two of my friends air out each others dirty laundry on Facebook. She posted a picture of the woman he cheated on her with calling her a skank, and he posted naked pics of her, for slandering him. It was petty bad erplexed

Anyone else have friends who need to "like" or comment on every status update? I giggle when my news feed says 'Mary Jones is single' and 3 guys like it, then her BFF comments "it's about time!" Well dang, guess y'all didn't think it was gonna last, huh?

Oh gosh I see that all the time, but you know that status will change in less than a week to "In a Relationship"

My SO is a private person, and there is lots that is not on his Facebook page -- he basically uses it to keep in contact with people from home (New Jersey) and friends from the Air Force. Because he is private, it didn't bother me when we first started dating and he didn't want to put a relationship status. Before I met him I had "single" hidden anyway, because I was tired of losers from high school sending me "ayo shawty" messages

After a month or so of dating, I changed my status to "in a relationship". It didn't bother me that his status was still hidden, because I knew he would talk about me to all his friends and family members and I'm secure but after a trip to the beach, his profile pic actually became a pic we took together on the boardwalk, something that flattered me a lot and actually shocked me a little. I don't go on his Facebook page a lot (we were FB friends before we began dating, and I wasn't gonna "defriend" him, LOL) so I don't know when it happened, but one day I noticed he was showing his relationship status as well. Almost a year later, we are not linked to each other (it just says "in a relationship") but we have plenty of pics of each other, just by virtue of the fact that we're always together and we document our trips and dates with cameras. If/when we get engaged, I don't know yet if I will update to "engaged" and link him, or just wait until after I am married.

I never could understand the "Its Complicated Status. I see things as either you're single or in a relationship/married. Simple as that

 

[EllePixie]

DrC lilsparkle825 I agree with everything you guys have said. And the WORST is when people have arguments with their SOs via Facebook!!! Seriously, this shocks me...I'm like wait you're arguing with someone you are supposed to like a lot/love on a public social networking site??? What is the world coming to? Does no one value privacy anymore??

 

[DrC]

DrC Lilsparkle I agree with everything you guys have said. And the WORST is when people have arguments with their SOs via Facebook!!! Seriously, this shocks me...I'm like wait you're arguing with someone you are supposed to like a lot/love on a public social networking site??? What is the world coming to? Does no one value privacy anymore??

Many fail to understand that making friends and having relationship disputes doesn't have to involve the social network. People revolve theirs lives around Facebook so much, they adapt their private lives into it.

I'm started think Social Networking really is the devil.

 

[EllePixie]

Many fail to understand that making friends and having relationship disputes doesn't have to involve the social network. People revolve theirs lives around Facebook so much, they adapt their private lives into it.

I'm started think Social Networking really is the devil.

I agree, it is the devil! People need to find a healthy balance. I can't stand it when I'm away from the board/twitter/im for a few days when I'm busy or away from my computer, and I get messages like, "Where are you?!" I'm like ummm...I'm out living my REAL life. If you don't have my phone number to call and check on me, there is probably a reason for that...

 

[DrC]

I agree, it is the devil! People need to find a healthy balance. I can't stand it when I'm away from the board/twitter/im for a few days when I'm busy or away from my computer, and I get messages like, "Where are you?!" I'm like ummm...I'm out living my REAL life. If you don't have my phone number to call and check on me, there is probably a reason for that...

My co-worker and I were having a conversation about this one day. She talked to a guy she met online who was very social via yahoo chat, but when they met in person he had NOTHING to say.
This occured many times until she called it off sayingn he was very boring.
He told her he understood, but when she came home, she had over 6 e-mail messages of him "expressing" his feelings to her.

I've encountered this before with a guy who tried to argue with me via text message But its all silent in person erplexed. e-Networking is inhibiting peoples social properties. How the hell do you argue with someone text messaging?

BTW: I still don't know how to use twitter. Its like the twilight zone for me.