Is this how couples fight?!!

butterfly_wings

butterfly_wings

New Member
My friend is having some problems with her SO at the moment and has been telling me some things. They have been working at home together and are unable to change this as they have both lost their jobs anyway; they have been squabbling over petty things that turn into a big row.

Yesterday she said she was going out for the afternoon to get away from him for a bit and he had said previously that he was going out to see his family. He then got upset that she didn’t invite him out with her but she said he done the same thing anyway they were arguing and going round in circles and he decided to throw a drink in her face as she sat down to eat the dinner she just made for the 2 of them, so she got angry and threw away his dinner. A few days earlier they were having another argument about household chorus and he threw her dinner all over the place just as she had finished making it; she said they were arguing when she was making it so he was watching her) and it escalated from there.

This doesn’t sound healthy to me, do couples argue like this, throwing food and drinks, breaking and destroying stuff or is this some type of abuse?
 
Sounds like they need to take a break before one of them ends up hitting the other. But in my interpersonal relationships class we learnt abt couples who fight all they time and thats just how some people work.
 
Is this something new? He sounds abusive and if he is there had to be other signs prior to him throwing drinks and before they got married.
 
Hell nawh, that ain't how 'normal' couples fight.

And throwing a drink in someone's face? :look:

I suspect hands will be flung, soon - if it hasn't happened already.

:nono:
 
nope- he (or she) should not be throwing things as it will only escalate from there. they need to take a break before someone gets hurt.
 
Couple fight how couples fight, everyone is different.

I agree though, they need to work something out NOW before it gets physical on either part. They have clearly crossed a line of disrespect and once you cross those lines it is very hard to get back. They need to pray together about themselves, their situation, their anger--that has a humbling power like no other.
 
Sounds like a fight me and ex DH might have had...hence why we are no longer together. :rolleyes:

Two mature adults should not be fighting like this and if it hasn't already, there's a strong possibility it might turn physical. Both of them should spend some time apart and reassess their relationship.

Did she seem bothered by their argument?
 
PopLife said:
Sounds like a fight me and ex DH might have had...hence why we are no longer together. :rolleyes:

Two mature adults should not be fighting like this and if it hasn't already, there's a strong possibility it might turn physical. Both of them should spend some time apart and reassess their relationship.

Did she seem bothered by their argument?
Click to expand...


I guess she did, but she had calmed down by the time I spoke to her
 
butterfly_wings said:
Oh he said the reason why he gets angy is because she ignores (by no speaking) him when they are having an arguement
Click to expand...

Hmmm so he throws a drink in her face to get her attention like a 5 year old...:rolleyes: He seems like he might have some anger issues. Does he act controlling towards her, like always wanting to be around her?
 
No. What are they? Middle school kids? Seriously, I know they're not, but their actions are synonymous to some of my middle school students, if not worse. I wouldn't waste my time in a relationship that escalates to that type of nonsense.
 
JustKiya said:
Hell nawh, that ain't how 'normal' couples fight.

And throwing a drink in someone's face? :look:

I suspect hands will be flung, soon - if it hasn't happened already.

:nono:
Click to expand...

The next step is a slap in the face. Throwing something at a person's face is demeaning. IMO, this is crossing the line to abuse. I wish my husband would.
 
I think the fact that they are both unemployed is getting the best of them. They need a break from each other IMO
 
:blush: He threw a drink in her face? Unbelievable. That is very disrespectful and it is nowhere near normal. Some people really show their @ss when a stressful situation arises and try to excuse their poor behavior by saying they were 'under a-lot of pressure'. :rolleyes:

They need to seek counseling asap and try to take a break from each other if at all possible. I know money is tight, but they need some type of guidance immediately. Do they attend church? Maybe their pastor can help them if they cannot afford professional counseling at this time.

They need to work this out because he may try to up the ante in future disagreements and before she knows it he'll be hurling a blunt object at her head.
 
um no that is not normal. He is acting like a child and it WILL escalate this is just the beginning

*exits thread and mutters to self: I wish a ninja would throw a drink in my face that will be the day..
 
Throwing dinner away? No, food is too expensive for that.

Throwing dinner on the floor? No, someone then has to clean that mess up.

Whatever happened to someone just sleeping on the couch for the night?
 
I know a great Christian couple around 40ish and they are one of the best couples and parents I know. However they admitted that back in the day they used to argue so bad they would throw things at each other.

You wouldn't believe it, they are so placid and loving, but things change and people evolve.

At some point (asap) they would have to sit down and admit the patterns that lead to arguments and "pushed my button" behaviour, are ridiculous. Or else you would have to naturally grow up by getting some spirituality lol or accepting each other for who you both are.

Also, people can flip over certain things that are ingrained into their pyche. He would have to work on why ingnoring is so hurtful to him. Get them to try a relationship book or counselling and a dose of anger management techniques:look:, assuming there is enough positives about the relationship to work with.
 
You'd only get one chance to throw a drink in my face, one time and I'd be gone. Something about that is almost like spitting in your face, it's a level of disrespect that I would not tolerate.
 
Hi thanks for the replies, I'm seeing her tomorrow so I'll let her know what you think, I agree it's not healthy and it has to stop. Usually they are really good together; he's they type of man that would would decoratae the house with candles just to surprise her when she gets home.

I hope they work it out, thanks ladies
 
Be careful with the way that you approach her. This relationship does not sound healthy at all. I'm sure the last thing you want to do is make her feel cornered.

She will choose him over you any day...that is what women do:nono:.
 
I would not like to be in such a relationship like thios were food and drinks are be wasted,that is so immature.
 
They sound like children. I remember my brother and I doing stupid stuff like this when we were younger. I wouldn't expect this in any type of relationship among adults.
 
This is NOT normal by any stretch of the imagination. Abuse is NEVER normal and that's exactly what's going on here.
Does she seem to think it's ok?
 
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