Is It Wrong To Hug And Kiss Your Ex On The Cheecks When You Re Married?
- Thread starter Kindheart
- Start date
Doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, it bothered him so acknowledge his feelings, apologize and now that you know his boundaries I wouldn't do it again. He will get over it, men are petty which is why he made the comment about women at work. Men are very insecure and can be about the most random, benign, nonsense you could imagine. My dh got upset because I said to my ex while on the phone about my sick mother, "well you know how she is, you've seen her at her worse". Mind you we were at the hospital because my mother had a stroke from not taking her meds and that is what I was referring to. My dh considered that us strolling down memory lane...wth
. They can be the most non-sensical creatures on the planet.
Dee-Licious
Well-Known Member
I’m not insecure, but I wouldn’t like seeing my DH hug and kiss an ex on the cheek. I would look at him crazy if he didn’t understand.
I’m extra like your DH and a show you better than I can tell you.
I’m extra like your DH and a show you better than I can tell you.
TrulyBlessed
Well-Known Member
Lol well that was a silly threat because then he’ll be asking for multiple workplace sexual harassment suits.
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
I'm single and I still don't let my exes hug and kiss me. That's a lost privilege.
biznesswmn
Well-Known Member
I can understand his feelings. Maybe the thrill is gone for you but i imagine hubby is more concerned w the ex. Will your openness create some competition, making ex think he can sniff around.
Idk how long you were married to the ex or if yall have kids but some bonds just dont break that easily. Especially if it was an amicable divorce. Cordial is a good thing. Who wants to harbor anger and bitterness?
But... the new boo rules say you cant be so cool no mo'
If you usually greet the ex that way when u see him, you have to find another way
Idk how long you were married to the ex or if yall have kids but some bonds just dont break that easily. Especially if it was an amicable divorce. Cordial is a good thing. Who wants to harbor anger and bitterness?
But... the new boo rules say you cant be so cool no mo'
If you usually greet the ex that way when u see him, you have to find another way
Depends. Do you do that with a lot of people?
I am willing to hug anyone I have no ill will towards. I can hug men in front of SO with no upset because he knows thats my usual greeting. I would feel off about this because HE doesn't hug people so if he initiated a hug with a woman from his past it would stand out.
Weird thing is if I'm seriously attracted to someone I'm more standoffish
-_-
I am willing to hug anyone I have no ill will towards. I can hug men in front of SO with no upset because he knows thats my usual greeting. I would feel off about this because HE doesn't hug people so if he initiated a hug with a woman from his past it would stand out.
Weird thing is if I'm seriously attracted to someone I'm more standoffish
-_-
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
No man wants to see his girl giving another man the same attention that she gives him. The ex missed out on that privledge.
LeftRightRepeat
Well-Known Member
mmhmm you get to hugging and kissing and there there's that one kiss that lands a little too close to the corner of the mouth and the hands that start rubbing your back when you're hugging and then you're all this in the middle of the mall
onyxdreams
Well-Known Member
Yes, its the optics of watching your body against another man you once dated. Plus you don't truly know whats on the mind of the ex, despite you not feeling anything towards him. Men have their own code towards how to handle another man's woman. Most likely your ex knows your husband is feeling disrespected.
levette
Well-Known Member
Who prompted the hug and kiss . Imo it was disrespectful
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
I think it's messed up that you are disregarding your husband's feelings and referring to them as "extra". You wouldn't want him to do that to you if you had a concern about something so why are you dismissing him like this?
He has a right to set forth his boundaries, especially when it pertains to your interactions with a man you used to date. Who cares if you don't have feelings for the dude anymore? Your husband has a problem with it and you should respect his feelings. Apologize and never do it again.
He has a right to set forth his boundaries, especially when it pertains to your interactions with a man you used to date. Who cares if you don't have feelings for the dude anymore? Your husband has a problem with it and you should respect his feelings. Apologize and never do it again.
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
He has a right to his boundaries. I honestly didnt like it when I saw an ex play fight/push his ex, dont remember who did it first...just felt too familiar imo. So I understand your husband feelings though I wouldn't threaten to do that to prove a point....hes being petty. Lol.
You should apologize and respect his wishes just as you would like for him to do the same should something bother you that he seems meaningless. If it's so meaningless, why push back. *shrug*
You should apologize and respect his wishes just as you would like for him to do the same should something bother you that he seems meaningless. If it's so meaningless, why push back. *shrug*
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PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
That’s how I feel. Lol I think men are very territorial. I figure they always imagine....yeah I hit that when they touch a woman. I’m not sure but I feel that’s why he keeps uptbis tradition of kissing on the cheek. It’s like a natural competition for your love, respect, and time. Hubs is like...Nah son. Not today!
moneychaser
Well-Known Member
Exes no longer exist especially when the SO is around
nysister
Well-Known Member
From your husband's viewpoint the questions are, 1) why do you see the need to greet them in this manner? 2) why don't your husband's feelings matter to you in this area?
If you think of this in reverse you might understand his viewpoint better. The fact that you feel the need to interact with them in this manner might make him feel like you have feelings for them still.
There are very few men that I hug and kiss outside of my family. I don't have an issue with it and neither does DH, but it is usually unnecessary unless it's someone I haven't seen in a very long time.
If you think of this in reverse you might understand his viewpoint better. The fact that you feel the need to interact with them in this manner might make him feel like you have feelings for them still.
There are very few men that I hug and kiss outside of my family. I don't have an issue with it and neither does DH, but it is usually unnecessary unless it's someone I haven't seen in a very long time.
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
But it's not up to OP to determine how her husband should feel depending on what type of kiss it was. Period.
He is expressing how he feels with clear communication and she should respect that regardless of how benign the kiss was. What happens if she doesn't is she sets a precedent that his feelings don't matter and communication [with her] will cease. Men shut down and won't ever open back up.
Have you ever seen those women who complain that their husbands "don't talk to them"? This is how it starts and believe me...he's talking to someone, just not the wife.
My husband RARELY complains and is a very "go with the flow" type of dude so when he tells me he has a problem with something I've done I get it together because I know he's for real mad.
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